Death won't Bring Us Apart
by Demonic-Kit
Summary: Shepard saved Thane. Now it's his turn to save Shepard from the madness that threatens to consume her. The act she has kept up for years is cracking under the stress. How will the galaxy react when they see who their hero really is? Set in ME3. TXFemS
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: How I would have done things.**

She held back tears as she read from the prayer book, even more so when she finished and watched his head turn to the side. She knew why. Thane didn't want her to have to see him die, and, perhaps, he was holding back tears too. She moved to the bed and reached to turn his face back, to tell him that she loved him, for the first and the last time, but she caught a glimpse of his eyes, could see no life left in them. She couldn't do it. She couldn't look into the face of the man she loved and see… nothing.

"Goodbye… Thane…" she said and stepped back, holding back the tears as they filled her eyes. "Kolyat… Why did the last verse say she?"

"The prayer wasn't for him, he had already made his peace. His last wish was for you." he replied, sadness in his voice for the father he had barely gotten to know.

"Thank you…" she said before she turned and left hastily. She got to the elevator door before the tears started to fall and the sobs shook her shoulders. She looked back down the hall. It was crowded, but there were few doctors and no guards. She bit her lip for a second and wiped her eyes before storming her way back through the crowd. She opened the door and Kolyat looked at her surprised. She went past him to Thane's body and unhooked the useless IV.

"What are you doing?" Kolyat asked and tried to stop her.

She swatted his hand away, fire in her eyes she stared at him and side, "I'm not going to sit by while the man I love, your father, leaves me alone in this hellhole." The words were harsher than she meant, but oh did she mean them. "Grab his legs and move, if you don't keep up I swear I will shoot you." she said and grabbed Thane by hooking her arm in his armpits.

Kolyat was taken back and did as she said and they started carrying Thane's limp form out of the room and through the hospital. Doctors tried to stop them, but she kicked them back whenever they got close. With mind difficulty they made it to the elevator before any guards showed up.

Shepard hit the pad to tell it to go to the loading dock and they set Thane down for a moment, both out of breath.

"What are you doing?" Kolyat demanded.

She looked down at Thane and slid his eyes closed, not being able to look at that absent gaze. "I have some of the best doctors, biotic engineers, and damn determined people on my ship." she answered and looked up at him. "We are going to get him on my ship, we are going to get him to a planet with more drell blood, and we are going to bring him back to me." It sounded selfish, hell it was selfish, making him come back to life only to die later from Kepral's Syndrome. She had spent the past years of her life trying to save the universe, she was due to be selfish this once.

When the elevator opened they already had Thane lifted up, Kolyat now completely on board with the plan, and moved him through the security checks while before the guards did anything to stop them. And once they did react Kolyat switched his father's legs to one arm and grabbed the gun of the nearest guard and held them off with it. Not for long, but long enough to get into the Normandy's air lock.

"Joker, move this ship now. Garrus, come to the airlock." she shouted and knew they would hear. "When Garrus gets here take him down to Chakwas, then get Tali, she isn't a medic, but her tech skills will help." she ordered Kolyat before leaving to the bridge.

Joker had done as she said and moved the ship out of the Citadel's orbit. "What is going on?" he asked.

She ignored him, "EDI, plot a course to the nearest planet with the most drell blood of Thane's blood type." she ordered and EDI popped on a second later with the results, it was Illium. If she wasn't so panicked and in a hurry she could have laughed at that, the place she met Thane was the place she was trying to save him at. "What are you waiting for?" she snapped at Joker, "Fly."

"Oh man, you are going to try and bring him back to life, aren't you?" he asked, but did as she asked. "Necrophilia moment, Shepard, it's kinda creepy." That got him smacked.

"Shepard, Thane has a heartbeat, but it is weak, he most likely only has twenty minutes, even with all the help." EDI informed her.

"Thank you, EDI." she said and pushed on Joker's shoulder. "You hear that, that means I want us there in ten minutes, now fly, damn it."

"Ten minutes to travel to that far?" Joker asked, but retracted his question from the glare he received. "Will do, Commander."

It took twelve minutes, but it was good time so she didn't hound Joker for it, besides she had more important things to do. She ran to Illium's hospital. "Give me… all your drell B blood." she panted at the counter. The nurse looked at her like she was crazy. "Damn it, I have a drell on my ship who is dying." She slammed her fist down on the counter. She looked down and her hair covered her eyes, a few tears dropped on to the counter. "Please… I love him… and he is dying… please… help me save him…" she begged, her voice shaking.

The nurse moved and went to talk to a doctor. It gathered a bit of a crowded and thankfully one of them recognized her.

"Commander Shepard," the head of the hospital said and came over to her. "Of course we will help." he answered her prayers and her and the top three doctors they had rushed back to her ship with a cooler of the blood and the medical supplies.

Franticly she looked at her watch. It had been eighteen minutes. 'Please… don't leave me, Thane.' she begged. 'Please don't take him… not yet.'

The crew had cleared a path for her as she and the three doctors rushed in and down the elevator. When they made it into the medic room it was just over twenty minutes. They all turned and looked at her, Chakwas, Garrus, Tali, Kaidan, James, everyone, on her team. They all looked at her sadly.

"No… no…" she said and ran to Thane, but already knew his heart had stopped. "Bring him back." she yelled at Chakwas, and then looked to the blood on her hands. "What did you do to him." she ordered and looked back to Thane. There was an incision across his chest that had been very recently been stitched.

"With Tali's help I replaced the infected part of his lungs with biotics." she answered calmly. "But while I was doing it his heart stopped."

She looked back to the doctors. "Get that IV in him." she ordered and they listened, despite knowing it would hopeless. While they gave him the transfusions she pumped his chest to simulate his heartbeat and keep his organs alive. Some of the stitches broke, but she didn't stop.

Everyone watched with baited breath. They all knew that Shepard loved Thane, and with her working so hard to save, well, everyone, it was the least they could do to show their support. When the line that signaled his heartbeat started going on his own they all cheered.

Shepard started to cry, the first time most of them had seen her cry, or any emotion that let on to weakness. She was human, and they were just noticing how much now. Garrus came up and put a hand on her shoulder and she hugged him, crying into his armored chest.

When she had control over herself she turned to Chakwas. "These implants, they will stop the disease?" she asked, allowing herself to hope.

"Yes, they will allow him to be able to fight the bacteria." she replied.

"How… Why didn't you do it sooner?" Shepard asked.

"It was life threatening and it wasn't our design, we found it in Medin's files, he had been working hard to finish it, it wasn't done, but we managed to fill in the gaps." Tali replied and Shepard hugged her tight.

"Thank you…" she said before she completely regained herself and stood up straight to address her crew. "Thank you all for your support, now get back to work!" she ordered with a smile and they all gladly did. Once only Dr. Chakwas was left she sat down on the edge of Thane's examination table and stroked the side of his face.

Kolyat approached her and hugged her. "Thank you… for saving my father." he told her and together they looked down at the man both loved.


	2. Chapter 2

"Commander, Anderson and Hackett wish to speak to you in the com room." EDI's voice chimed through the med bay.

She groaned and sat up straight while rubbing her sore back. It had been a few hours since they had gotten Thane stable, and she hadn't left his sleeping side. She had pulled up a chair and rested her arms and head on the hard examination table, her left hand clutching his right. Kolyat was down in the cargo bay at her request that he trained with James in hand to hand combat so, if needed, he could defend himself.

"Thanks, EDI," she said and moved her hand to rub her neck.

"Anytime," the mechanical voice said "logging you out."

With a sigh, Shepard stood and looked down at the green drell. "I'll be back, hun." she told him, knowing full well he couldn't hear her. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, before she turned from the room and headed straight for the elevator. When she stepped in there were a few workers gossiping about the new drell passengers, but at the sight of Shepard they quickly stood straight and saluted her.

"At ease," she told them and stepped inside the metal box. "To answer the rumors, yes he is my lover, no Kolyat isn't my son, and it is true that drells have bigger dicks than humans." she answered right before the door opened and she left to the war room, leaving the two workers with slack jaws. 'They're also better lovers.' she added to herself as she stood still for the scanner. She bit the inside of her cheek as she remembered the first time she and Thane had made love.

_It was only two hours before they would pass through the Omega 4 Relay and probably not make it back out. She was nervous, but hey, they had already killed her, what more could they do to her? Okay, bad humor, it was the nerves. She had never been a joke teller anyways. So to pass the time she sat on her couch reading up on the upgrades she had gotten for the ship and her crew. Most of their weapons were the highest grade, the armor was top notch, and the ship had its heavy armor, shields, and, to Garrus's glee, a larger gun. Would it be enough? She had stripped dozens of planets to fuel the upgrades, had nearly broke them buying all the probes to collect the materials. It had to be enough, there wasn't anything else they could do._

_She jumped slightly as the door to her cabin opened without warning, and her hand went to grab her pistol, but it wasn't there. Reflex. "Thane?" she said as he came in._

"_Siha I-"he said as he stopped in front of her restlessly shifting from foot to foot. "I have known I will die for many years. I've tried to leave the galaxy a better place than I found it." He started to pace. Thane didn't pace, what was wrong. "You've helped me achieve more than I thought possible. We have righted many wrongs… I have spoken to my son." He stopped a ways away from her, his back to her. After a second her turned to her. "I should be at peace on the eve of battle."_

_She quickly got up and went to him, her hands going to his arms tenderly. "Stop. Don't give me a speech." She said softly and looked deeply into his black eyes. They were a very dark green around the pupil, and she loved it, loved him, everything about him._

"_I'm… ashamed." He bowed his head and shook it from side to side, unable to meet her gaze._

_Her right hand lifted to his cheek, wanting to comfort him, but he took her hand in his and pushed it away and stepped away from her, turning towards the desk beside her bed. He put his hands on it and leaned against it, a tear fell from his eye and he punched the metal. Turning his head back to her, he said "I've worked so hard. Meditated and prayed and done good deeds. Atoned for the evils I've done. Prepared." His fist against the table trembled and he looked away again, down at the metal under his hands. "I consider my body's death, and a chill settles in my gut. I'm afraid and it shames me."_

_She moved over by him and put her hand over his trembling fist. "Thane…" She turned him gentle towards him. "Be alive with me tonight." she said and leaved in to kiss him. It was their first kiss too. He had always been so careful and polite, a gentleman, but it did have times where it was frustrating, times she just wanted him to hold her time and kiss her until she couldn't breathe._

_They pulled apart after just a few seconds and she couldn't help, but smile at his unsure, but needy gaze under half lidded eyes. He backed her up until her legs hit the bed and she fell backwards on it. He fell with her and their lips met again right before they hit the mattress. She sighed in bliss as his lips moved on hers and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer._

_Once it was clear he wasn't going to progress the kiss himself, she darted her tongue out and traced it along his lips, earning a gasp from him. He broke the kiss and got off of her. "Siha…" he said and looked down at her, unsure._

"_Thane… you're acting like a scared little virgin." Shepard said as she stood up in front of him. She grabbed the front of his jacket and unclicked the buckles before pushing it off his shoulders. _

_He didn't resist. "It… it has been… ten years, Siha." he said and groaned as she ran her lips over the red skin on his neck. "And I… I've never been with a human." he added as his head tilted away to allow her easier reach of his tender red skin, groaning again when her teeth nipped it at his jaw line. She had apparently done her homework on what male drell liked. He had tried to on female humans, but some of the stuff was just… Well it couldn't be right._

"_It's been a long time for me too, Thane, not that long, but long enough." she whispered against his skin. "And I've never been with a drell, this is our chance to experiment." she encouraged as she stepped away and pulled her shirt off the top of her head and dropped it to the floor by his jacket._

_He gulped as he looked at her, unable to take his eyes away from her breasts that were now bare except a black lace bra. Drell women didn't have breasts, and he had always wondered what they felt like, well ever since he met Shepard, before that he didn't care for them. He grabbed her as she went to undo the click in the back that would have left her upper body completely bare to him. Pulling her to him, he forced his lips down onto her and kissed her heatedly. Either she was going to tempt him until he couldn't hold back anymore, or he was going to give in on his own._

_Their bodies pressed tight against each other, unable to get close enough, as their tongues rubbed against each other and explored the other's mouth. She grabbed his hands that were on her back and pushed them down until they lay on her ass under her clothes. If he hadn't wanted to feel her like this for so long, he would have hesitated. Instead he squeezed his hands on her ass, rubbing his hands on it, grabbing it from the bottom and almost lifting her up by it. It was so soft and plump and he loved it._

_She smirked against his mouth as she felt his erection pressing against her lower stomach under his pants. He smirked back and pushed her back onto the bed, climbing on top of her. He finally broke the kiss, both of them panting. The time to regain their breath didn't go to waste, both used it to ride themselves and each other of as much clothing as possible. When they locked lips again Shepard was only in her panties and Thane in his pants._

_He sat between her legs and grinded his hard cock against her wet pussy. She moaned his name and it made his breath hitch in his throat. He wanted to hear her say his name like that again, to have her scream it in ecstasy. Leaving her mouth, he kissed down her body and decided to test some of the things he had read about human females. He gripped one of her breasts in his hand and ran his finger over the hard pink nipple, while his mouth went to the other one and gave it an experimental lick. She groaned and arched against him. Seeing this as a good sign, he licked it again and then took it into his mouth and sucked on it gently._

"_T—Thane." she moaned and bucked her hips against his, making him groan against her nipple. "Please… Thane… I want you inside of me." she pleaded. He returned his lips to hers and his fingers hooked on her panties and pulled them off as she worked suddenly clumsy fingers on his pants. He aided her and soon her was naked too. She broke the kiss and looked down at his body as he did the same with hers. "You're big." she commented at his nine inch dick that stood proudly before her._

"_Actually, I'm not for a drell… I'm about average." he said and his fingers traced the small triangle patch of hair on her lower half._

"_Oh… damn… humans are only about five or six on average." she said with a bit of a blush._

_He chuckled at that before he locked lips with hers again and spread her legs so he could enter her. He did so with care. Hearing how small human males were, he didn't want to hurt her, but she accepted his length fine._

"_I'm not a virgin, Thane," she said to his surprised look. "And good thing, you're thick, it hurt like hell if I was."_

_He nodded and started moving against her. She moaned and arched into him with each thrust as the riblets that line down on either side and the underside of his penis rubbed against her perfectly. It surprised her that she was being so vocal, normal she wasn't._

_Thane closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her warm body surrounding him. His hands gripped her hips and pushed her down against him. She cried out from the pain of his grip and then moaned as he hit that spot deep inside of her._

"_There, Thane… oh damn… there." she moaned out and with the approval he went harder and faster into her, his hands moved to her arms and pinned them down by her head. He leaned his head down and kissed her again, their tongues rubbing and dancing together until the need of oxygen was no longer possible to ignore. Then he rested his head in the crook of her neck, his breath washing over her collarbone. "Thane!" she cried out as she cum, her walls clenching down on his dick._

_He shuddered in pleasure from it and hearing her cry his name, but he wasn't done yet and only speed up. He slammed into her up to the hilt with each thrust, bringing little grunts and groans from her each time. It was amazing, he wasn't going to be able to last much longer at this rate. Again his hands moved, this time to her breasts and he groped them._

"_Th… Thane…" she panted "I… I'm going to—ahhh." she said as she came again, and this time he came with her. He fell to her side and they both laid there, panting, spent. "Damn…" was all she could say. "Defiantly the best I've ever had."_

_He chuckled and kissed her cheek as his tired dick left her warmth and went back into its sheath._

"Commander." she heard Hackett's voice say and she snapped back to the present rather than her day dream of amazing drell sex.

"Yes sir." she said and tried to pretend that she had been listening the whole time. It was something about… the attack on the council… was that really just earlier today? Seemed like weeks.

"Well?" Anders asked as if he was repeated a question.

"Well what?" she asked, completely drawing a blank.

"Do you know why Cerbures did this?" he restated the question and both men glared at her.

"No idea, but I'm going to find out." she answered.

He informed her that he knew the assassin that had attacked them as Kai Leng, and had even shot him in both of his legs once. Since he wasn't crippled that probably meant Cerbures intervention making him even stronger. Then Hackett told her that the asira and solvanians were both giving their support to her out of fear of this assassin, and wanting an update on the crucible, which was already about 50% done. And of course giving her another task to find the catalyze. Then they wished her luck and she was allowed to leave.

She sighed and left the com room, but was ambushed by Liara asking her for help on Mesana. She let out a frustrated sigh. "Alright, we'll head out immediately." she said and headed for her galaxy map. It had been a long day, she just wanted to sleep, and she had the feeling Liara still had feelings for her and it made things awkward.

**A/N: Yes I have finally caught my new Jack-isn't-dead game up to speed and thus have a reference for the story. Hope you enjoyed the 2 am rambling styling of Kit. Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know this is not how you meet up with Tali, but for my method of saving Thane she needed to be on the ship before she became avalible, so this is how it happened in my own little happy Thane isn't dead world.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own the ME characters, but I do own my additions to the plotline and my Shepard.**

She let out an annoyed curse as she had to stop for the scanner, again. Sure, it was completely logical while she was in a top security room with no other exits that somehow someone swapped places with her. She thought of ordering them to take out the damn thing, but she could hear Thane's voice in her head. "It's better to check and double check, than to be off your mark." He lived by that little code, check and double check, just to make sure. It was why he was the best. It was also the only reason she hadn't personally chucked the thing out the air lock.

Once allowed she moved through and went towards the galaxy map. This side mission would be good for her, give her something to kill, oh boy she needed something to kill. She'd shoot the first enemy to raise its gun at her in the balls with cryo and watch them shrivel and fall off.

"Commander?" Traynor said, bringing her from her thoughts. "Can I talk to you about something?"

She sighed and rubbed her face in her hands. "Sure, what's up?" she said and leaned against the bar that went around the galaxy map.

"There are some ex-cerberus scientists that need help…" Shepard turned her out, the location would be put up on the galaxy map. If she didn't have that thing, she would surely die. Directions were never her strong point, nor was remembering the different names of the galaxies and locations. There was Omega, the one with the Citadel in it, Illium's galaxy, that was the type of thing she used to remember what was what. "If we could save them then they can help of build the crucible."

"Sure, no problem." Shepard said and then cleared her throat. "Does anyone else have a request to make to the great fucking Commander Shepard, the woman that doesn't need time to eat, or sleep, or wipe her own ass?" she said loudly as she stood up straight on the lifted platform to the galaxy map.

The crew just looked at her like she was crazy.

"No? Good. Then maybe after we save some brain children and blue chicks we can go save Tali's people like she hunted us down to do over two weeks ago, but we had to get the krogan baby factory going again so they would help save the claw suits' planet so they could, in turn, save the Earth." Shepard said and then looked down at her map. "Joker, set a course to save the brain children." she ordered and slouched against the bar, exhausted.

"I… I'm sorry Commander Shepard, I didn't mean to bother you." Traynor said after a moment.

"No, you were right to come to me with this… It's just… a lot of responsibility to have the fate of… everything… in your hands." Shepard said with a sigh. "Do you know why I managed to make it back out of the Omega 4 relay?" she asked and looked at her sideways through her russet locks.

"Because you are the best, Commander." Traynor answered truthfully.

Shepard shook her head. "No…" she slouched her shoulders a little bit more. "No, that wasn't it. I was dead for two years, Traynor, and in that time all my friends had changed. I had a crush on Kadian back then… but after he left me on horizon stone cold like that… it made me realize he had changed too."

"Shepard, what does this have to—"

"I made it back because of a certain green drell in a coma a floor below." she cut her off. "I was completely ready to get my team out alive and die myself in that relay… But I fell in love with Thane… He gave me something to fight for, to push through the memory of what it felt like to be choked to death by space and burned alive at the same time." 

"Why are you telling me this, Commander?" Traynor asked.

"Because I know you won't judge me for being… human… for not being the unbreakable, unbeatable Commander Shepard." she said and shook her head. "I can't do it without him… That's why I saved him… Because without him… The galaxy isn't worth saving to me… and if I think like that then everyone will die, because I didn't give it a hundred percent, because I didn't want life to continue…"

"Shepard… that is so… sweet." Traynor said and moved up to rub her back.

Shepard stood straight and looked at her with crossed arms, keeping up appearances. "I hope he thinks so… he is going to be one angry green butt when he wakes up." she said before she turned to go get suited up for the mission. "Joker, how long till we get there?" she asked once in the elevator.

"Maybe a day or two, we burned out most of our fuel going through the relays at a speed we should be dead because for your nerco moment." his voice sounded over the com.

"Damn…" she muttered and instead went to her terminal and started surfing the externet. She got bored after a few hours and instead pulled up some pictures that she had of Thane. She smiled as she came up on a picture of him completely naked and chuckled at the memory.

"_Siha, I really don't feel comfortable with this." he said as she backed up to get his full naked form in view._

"_Oh, shut up, not all of us have perfect memories. Some of us need pictures to remember the little details." she said and snapped a pic of him._

_He sighed and let her do as she wished. "But what if someone find these on your terminal?" he asked._

"_It's a private terminal, only I know the code." she assured him as she moved and took one at a different angle._

"_Fox are rocks." he said dryly. "No spaces, only the first letter capitalized."_

_She blinked at him. "You hacked my terminal." she said and poked him on the bare chest._

"_You sleep like the dead, I find ways to entertain myself while I wait for you to wake." he said with a shrug. "But what is a fox?"_

"_It's a mammal on earth." she said and stood on her toes to kiss the drell. "And there are other things you could be doing other than hacking my computer." she added huskily._

"_But if I hadn't I would have never of known that you liked porn." he said with a smirk as she blushed._

"_Shut up, it's common for humans…"she snapped at him and shoved him a bit._

_He chuckled and kissed her red cheek. "I found it… exciting, really." he promised her. "But I did find it interesting that all of it was human up until a few days after I joined your crew."_

"_Yeah… wasn't into the whole alien thing till you came along… parents' influence." she said and rubbed the back of her head. "But… well… you were… um…" Great now she was stumbling over her words._

"_I was the same, siha… Never until I met you did I think of another species as attractive." he stroked her hair before leaning down and then they were kissing. It started off as a peck before it grew more and more heated, only breaking when EDI announced that the ship had arrived at earth and everything was prepared for them to land the kodika on Africa._

_Shepard smiled. "You ready to see an earth desert?" she asked him and he nodded as he gathered his closes and started to pull them on._

"_I would also like to see what a fox is." he said once his jacket was all clicked and buckled together._

"_We'd have to go to a different climate to see them, but we might see a jackal, they look similar." she told him and they left for the elevator with their hands intertwined._

She closed her terminal and left for the med bay. When she got there Chakwas was running some tests on Thane to make sure his implants weren't being rejected.

"Everything in order, doc?" she asked and sat down on the edge of the bed and took the green hand in hers.

"Everything is fine, the implants are working great, it has killed off most of the bacteria in his lungs." she said. "All we had to do is wait for when he wakes up. I don't know what the effects of being dead for… what was it? Fifteen minutes?" she asked and Shepard nodded "Will have on his brain."

"Well I survived two years…" she said.

"But you were completely rebuilt, we only… replaced parts of Krios." Chakwas said and paced a bit.

The hand in hers squeezed her fingers and she smiled, "We may have our answer." Shepard said and looked down at the drell's face, waiting for him to open his eyes, but he didn't stir, and after ten minutes she sighed and rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand. "Come on, Thane… wake up… for me…" she muttered.

She spent that night by his side curled against him and sobbing, wanting him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

**A/N: I had to re-upload this because I forgot to hit the button that would copy the format and not only the text… so here we go with the chapter and being able to tell clearer what is the flashback. Sorry for you that thought I was uploading a new chapter. I will be posting a new one in a few days. I have the afternoon off, but it depends on how loopy I am after giving blood if I write another chapter. Plus I'm spoiling all you with the quick updates.**


	4. Chapter 4

Kolyat woke her up roughly by shaking her shoulder. "Shepard." he said.

She groaned and rolled over, falling off the cot. Her training kicked in and she caught herself in a push up position. She glared up at him as she stood up and brushed off her clothes. "Didn't your father ever tell you it's a bad idea to wake me up?" she said and moved a hand behind her to brush against Thane's.

"Yes, he told me the first time he tried you tried to shoot him with your pistol, but you didn't have your pistol." Kolyat answered with a small smirk.

"Right… so what's up? The ship burning?" she said and yawned, covering her mouth with the hand that wasn't holding Thane's.

"No… James said that you should train me too and it is 0600."

"Oh joy… morning person like your dad." she said annoyed but dragged her tired body out of the med-bay.

Kolyat chuckled and followed her. Being a typical man, Kolyat's eyes slipped down to Shepard's ass. His father didn't have bad taste in women, Shepard was attractive, well, for a human. Shep stepped into the elevator and leaned against the wall, nearly falling back asleep on the trip down to the cargo hold.

When the door opened Shep reached into her pocket and pulled out a small blue bottle and fished out a little red pill. She swallowed it and within a minute she was awake.

"What was that?" he asked her as he followed her to the mats set up for sparring.

"Happy in a bottle," she replied and put her fists up. "Now show me what you got." she said and jabbed the air.

"Does my father know you are taking drugs?" Kolyat asked as he threw a punch at her, but she caught his wrist, twisted it, and jerked him over her head and onto his back.

"It isn't a drug," she said and helped him up.

"Then what is it?" he asked as he went to hit lower this time, aiming for her stomach. She jumped back onto her hands and kicked up at him, landing a blow to his chin. He stumbled and wiped off a bit of blood where he had bit his lip.

"It is an energy booster, military grade, only they tell us not to use them unless dire, they mess up sleep patterns and metabolisms, and all that shit." she answered as she used his dazed moment to swipe his feet out from under him, knocking him back to the ground.

"So this isn't a fair fight if you are on that." he said as he stood up again.

She gave a short laugh, "Two things. One, life ain't fair. Two, you really do not want to fight me while I'm half asleep." she told him.

"It's true," Kaiden's voice called from where the weights were set up around the corner of some crates. "I tried, she nearly ripped my arm off."

"Yeah, you weren't trying to fight me, you were trying to feel me up, so fuck off." she snapped at him. Then she turned back to Kolyat. "You lack the ability to respond past your own moves, keep working with James." she said before turning and heading towards Kaiden.

"Shep, hey, what are you doing? Shep?" his voice sounded before there was a crash and a groan of pain from Kaiden.

Since she had already taken the pill she decided to burn it off working out. When James woke up and joined her she matched what he could bench, topped what he could squat, and ran harder and longer than he could.

"Damn, Lola, that scrawny body of yours got some build to it." he panted around ten. Then he looked her up and down. "Not that I'm surprised." he said and moved in to make a move on her.

Kolyat looked at them from over on the bench, wondering what Shepard would do. Would she really cheat on his father? Maybe she didn't think he would wake up.

"Oh right, why not just make a move on me, that will end well when… what was your nickname for him? Scales? wakes up. You do know he is the best assassin in the galaxy right?" she said dryly but didn't push him away. "So go ahead if you want, I'll enjoy watching him beat the crap out of you."

James chuckled, "I'll take my chances, Lola." he said and then kissed her.

Shepard stomped down on his foot, making him back away just enough for her to grab his arm and twisted it around his back. She forced him down so the side of his face was against the treadmill. She turned it up all the way, making him cringe as the rough material scrapped against his skin. "Don't ever touch me, I belong to Thane." she said darkly and let him go. "You should have been smart and taken the joking way out so I wouldn't have hurted your feelings or your face." she said left to the elevator to go get some breakfast.

Green eggs probably from some reptilian bird, blood red sausages from something close to a pig, and something gray that she thought was supposed to be grits. On a ship like this you stocked up with what wouldn't kill you and tried to work with it. She took the plate into the med-bay and ate it by Thane's bed. It was cold, breakfast had officially been over two hours ago.

She looked up at Thane as she bit into the red "pork." She knew that Thane wouldn't have harmed James, if she asked him not to, but after he went through with it she wouldn't stop him. "James kissed me today… I scrapped half his face off for it…" she told him without response. "It's been like that a lot lately, the crew hitting on me, since you left… Commander Shepard, the great prize to bed…" she gripped her knife tightly. She looked down at it and then back up to Thane, and did something she hadn't since she was sixteen. She rolled her sleeve up past her elbow and slid the knife along the skin, leaving a nice thin cut about two inches long. She watched the blood flow. "I'm human… only human…" she muttered as she watched the blood flow down her arm to her wrist, and then onto her plate. She didn't care, she wasn't hungry anymore.

She rolled the sleeve back down and wiped the blood off on her napkin, it wouldn't look more than from the sausage. She looked down to Thane as she stood. "Wake up soon… I need you with me." she told him before leaving, dumping off the plate at the mess, and then going straight up to her room.

"EDI," she called as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Yes?" her voice asked.

"Tell Joker to hurry up, I really need to shoot something." she said.

"Understood, logging you out."

Despite her egging to go faster, it still took another day to reach the lab. She was the first to jump out of the Kodiak, mantis drawn and enhanced with cryo. She looked through the scope and followed a Cerberus soldier as he aimed up a shot at one of the scientists. She let out a whistle and he spun around to see who was the intruder, he never found out though, the bullet sunk between his eyes and froze his brain before he could blink. Then his frozen face cracked and fell to a thousand pieces.

She stayed looking through her scope as she loaded another bullet, the motion second nature. "Come here, dumb ass." she muttered as she followed the head of another trooper. She lowered her aim and shot him in the groin, making him scream as it was frozen, and then silence, he was dead and too shattered into pieces.

The third bullet was already in as she followed one of the engineers that was running their way to set up a turret to stop them. She tsked, "Can't have that," she said with a chuckle and shot in the throat. He fell backwards and shattered when he hit the ground.

Fourth bullet, and it was aimed at a guardian that was slowly creeping up to the side of them. Now these were a bit tricky. If Cerberus didn't care about them then the slot for their eyes wouldn't have glass, if they did care then it would stop the bullet cold. Get it? Cold? It was cryo rounds. She chuckled at the joke and aimed for the hand that snuck out to shoot at her. She let it fire. Once, twice, then she shot back, the bullet breaking through his armor, skin, bone, and froze up his arm. He cried in pain and dropped the shield. "Dumb ass." she muttered and shot him in the head with her pistol. He wasn't worth her mantis.

"Care to leave any for us?" Garrus asked from behind her. "You dragged me on this cold wasteland, I at least want to shoot something."

"Sure. The great Arch Angel shouldn't have trouble snipping them down before I do." she mocked him and stood up, shooting down those that tried to shoot her without the scope.

He glared at her and followed, James behind him. She brought James as punishment. She hoped the cold burned the raw skin on his face that he was telling everyone he got from tripping in the cargo bay.

The rest of Cerberus was easily taken out and they met up with Jacob. "Jake, good to see you. You still mad about me dumping you for Thane?" she asked and tapped him on the head with her mantis.

"No, sad eyes makes a good match for you." he said as they walked into the building. "You would have driven me insane anyways, you die too much, too much worry." he added and punched her in the arm.

She winced as he hit the cut from yesterday. "Yeah, well me and Thane are even for the dying thing, so…" she said, which make Jake stop in his tracks.

"Oh… I'm… I'm sorry, Shepard…" he said and looked like he really meant it.

"No, no, he is alive, we revived him, he is in a coma back on the Normandy." she assured him.

"Oh… that's good then… What happened?"

"He took on an assassin while he was sick and got stabbed." she said dryly, clearly was still mad at Thane for it.

"Ouch… and drells don't normally give blood, do they? That thick skin is a problem." he said.

"Yep… Kolyat gave enough blood for us to get him to more."

"Oh, his son right? How is he?" Now Jake was feeling awkward.

"It's okay, Jake, we can stop talking about this." she said and shook her head. "Same Jake."

"Thanks." he said and limped off to go find out what happened to the AA guns. He had gotten shot in the stomach.

"And get that wound checked out, that's an order." she called after him and then started to look around for things she could take back and sell.

One mission of her awesome skills of getting everyone out of a dire impossible situation latter, she was trying to sift through the over fifty people crowding in her cargo bay. She had her crew bringing them all blankets and pillows and food for the trip back to the Citadel were she would arrange transport to get them to the big mystery weapon they were building. It was past four am when everyone was settled in and sleeping next to their friends and family.

"Shepard," Jake called as she stepped into the elevator. "Thanks." She nodded and tapped the button to the crew deck, planning on sleeping beside Thane again.

When she opened the door Kolyat was sitting in her seat. "Kolyat… you should be sleeping." she said as she walked up to them.

"You need it more," he answered, but didn't look at her. "Actually… I wanted to talk to you about earlier with James…" he said after a moment.

"Look I never meant to kiss him." she defended.

"I know…" he said and shook his head. "What you said about you belonging to my father… Do you really love him that much?"

She smiled softly and moved to stand on Thane's other side. "More than anything." she answered and ran her hand over the marks on his head.

"You can never replace my mother." he told her firmly.

"I don't plan to." she answered him.

"She was the most amazing person in the galaxy."

"I know, your father talks about her fondly. I wish I could have met her."

"Will you try to have kids?" he asked.

"Maybe if the universe doesn't go to hell. I won't bring a child into this." she said and looked up at Kolyat. "Actually I'm not sure if humans and drell can have children, I've never heard of a case, though they have the same number of chromosomes. It seems that something doesn't… connect right… Drell have eggs, humans have live births so that might be the problem, but most women miscarry within the first month which would lead you to think that the baby isn't attaching properly. There are also several who think that the baby is starving to death due to a deformation in the umbilical cord, which is how human fetuses gain nutrients from the mother." she was rambling now, and felt a knot rising in her thought. "So the chances are that I will never be able to carry his baby."

Kolyat looked at her shocked, not knowing what to say.

"When I found that out… when me and Mordin researched it… I broke down crying. I couldn't give Thane a child… I couldn't give you a brother or sister. Hell at first I couldn't even touch the man I loved without breaking out in a rash." she said and looked back down. "Puffy red patches, intense itching, vomiting, high fever… It was horrible, but I finally managed to become immune to it… But I still can't have his child… it makes it a hollow victory."

"I… I'm sorry, Shepard… I know he… he wanted to have a child with you." he said quietly.

"He wants, not wanted, don't talk about him as if he is in the past, he is right here, he is alive." she snapped at him. "Get out." she spat at him. He hesitated, but this was her ship, and she was just upset, so he left and once he was gone the tears fell and she cried against Thane's chest. "I… I can't do this, Thane… I can't…" she sobbed into his chest. She pulled out her pocket knife and started giving the day old cut some fresh friends. The pain helped, it distracted her, pulled her back to what was important. "Wake up soon, love, or I may not have any skin left to cut…" she said softly and fell asleep against the wall.

**A/N: I don't know how I feel about this chapter… It puts in a lot of things that will later make sense in the story, but it's really long and jumps around a good bit… I don't know, tell me what you guys think.**


	5. Chapter 5

There wasn't time to take the scientists to the Citadel, and they were so close to their next destination. Shepard ordered Joker to keep the Normandy away from the planet and close to the mass relay to make a quick jump if need be.

Kaiden and Laira came with her on this mission. After Kaiden nearly got himself shot out of reflex to the loud noise of him tripping, they found a nice open room. It was pretty, and showed just what the scale of this place was, how many people had lived here, all gone now.

"I don't like this… It's too open… the shrubs and columns provide good places to hide, but bad cover once seen." she muttered and crept down the stairs, avenger fully loaded in her hands. She made it to the bottom and started towards the door at the end of the columns path. "Why haven't we seen any enemies?" she muttered lowly.

Then she got her answer. A loud shriek sounded at the top of the stairs and a hideous, strangely asari looking creature appeared there. "Shit," Shepard cursed and dodged to the side as it shot a blast of biotics at her. The shrub to her left was completely torn apart. "Fuck," she spat and pulled out her Claymore shotgun.

There was a strange noise to her right and the shrieking reaper was there, bent down and screaming in her ear. She cringed as it created a strong ringing in her ears that deafened everything else. She felt something grab her throat, but there were too many spots in her vision to figure out what it was. Her body was lifted into the air and something stroked her hair. What was going on? The stroking kind of felt nice. Thane used to do that as they lay on her bed in each other's arms. Humans were the only ones with hair, so he had always loved to touch and mess with it. It was exotic.

"_How do you keep it from getting all tangled up?" Thane asked her, breaking her attention from the movie._

"_Huh?" she asked, not understanding what he was referring to at first. She blinked and noticed his hand, it was such a common thing now that she noticed more when it wasn't there. "Oh. We brush it, sometimes tie it back to keep it out of the way." she explained. She rolled away from him and grabbed her brush off the nightstand and then rolled back, handing it to him. "We run that through our hair and it gets rid of the knots."_

_He looked at it funny for several long moments. Then he took it and ran it through her hair. "Yours doesn't seem to have knots." he commented._

"_That's because I brushed it out this morning." she said and looked back to the movie._

_His hand not holding the brush moved down and lightly touched her lower abdomen. "Do you brush this too?" he asked._

_She couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes teaching him this sort of thing was like teaching to a child. "Sorry," she said when she managed to gain control of her laughter. "No, we don't, it doesn't get long enough to have to. Some… well most women shave or wax it though, men find it sexier that way, and easier to keep clean."_

_He nodded and leaned into her, settling back into watching the movie with his hand running through the silky strands. This was heaven. She never wanted moments like this to end._

"Shepard," a voice called to her as if it was through water.

"Shepard!" there was another voice, this one sounded a bit closer. There was another noise too. Pops, lots of pops. Was that gunfire?

She cried out in pain as something tore through her chest and she opened her eyes to stare into the deranged ones of the shrieking reaper. She looked down and its hand was through her chest. The world started to spin, she could see a man running her way, gun out and firing at the creature. The thing cried in pain as a bullet lodged in its head. It dropped her to the ground and she crumpled like a corpse. There were hands on her, so many hands. Husks? No… maybe just two hands, pulling her towards cover, one shinning orange and the pain in her chest dulled.

oOo

Shepard hung limply in the grips of the banshee. "Shepard," Laira cried and shot at the creature, but it didn't flinch, and there were more reapers filling the room and she had to take cover.

"Shepard!" Kaiden shouted, trying to get his commander, the woman he cared about, to respond. He shot at it, unleashed clip after clip, but it didn't faze it.

He watched in horror as the creature lifted a hand and drove it deep into Shepard's chest. "No," he said and started firing more rounds. At least she cried out, at least she wasn't already dead.

He managed to land a bullet into some soft tissue and it dropped Shepard and came for him. "Shit," he muttered. "Laira, get Shepard, heal her, now." he shouted at her and ran to duck for cover, barely making it. He spotted Shepard's shotgun not far and dove for it. The banshee clipped his leg with one of its blasts, but he got the gun. He loaded it and aimed it at her head. The first time he missed, and he fumbled to get the second bullet in. He didn't have much practice with a shotgun, never had needed it. He got it loaded and shot again, hitting her armored shoulder. She was almost on top of him now. Damn. He forced another bullet in, but the banshee picked him up, much like it had done with Shepard. He trembled and lifted the shotgun at it right as it shrieked and shoved it in its mouth. "Bitch." he ground out and fired, blasting its head off. The corpse fell to the ground and imploded upon itself.

He aimed the shotgun at the body until it was completely gone, then ran to Laira and Shepard. "Is she okay?" he asked and ducked behind their cover as the lower ranks started to advance.

"She just had a hole ripped in her chest, no she isn't okay, but she is alive." she snapped at him and warped the closest enemy. "We are in a tough spot, Kaiden."

"Yeah… you think if I pull us through I can be as famous as her?" he asked and pointed down at Shepard as he pulled out his SMG and shot down a husk that tried to charge them.

"No… you don't have the looks for it." she commented back and they both started taking out as many enemies as they could. "But if you can pull this off I'll kiss you."

"I'm holding you to that." he warned.

oOo

_She was back on the collector's ship. The human reaper had just been killed, but everything was falling apart. She looked for her team. Tali was running back away from the breaking ledge, but where was Thane? She looked franticly for him, and when she spotted him her heart sank. He was slipping down the ledge, towards the bottomless pit. "Thane," she cried out and went after him, catching his hand as he fell. She heaved his heavy form up over the ledge and back to safety, back to her. She looked him over, making sure he was okay. And then they kissed, both relieved beyond words the other was alright._

"_Shepard, we have to go," Tali called to her and together the three of them made a run for it._

_They made it back to the rest of the group and then as one they all ran like hell back to the ship._

_Joker already had it ready to go and took off as soon as they were all in, even a bit before as she had to grab Jack as she was about to fall out. There wasn't really much else to grab so she clung to what the woman called a shirt and she called a tit strap, pulling it off. "Sorry," she said and let it go when she was safe._

_Jack just twitched a bit and fixed it. "Thane, do me a favor and make sure she can't walk for a week." she snapped at the drell._

_He blinked, but nodded, having no words for that._

"_Hang on, guys." Joker's voice sounded on the intercom._

"Hang on, Shepard," Liara's voice called.

She blinked and nearly threw up from the brightness.

"She's awake." Liara said excited and helped her commander sit up. "Shepard? Are you okay?" she asked.

"She just had a whole ripped in her chest, no she isn't okay, but she is alive." Kaiden mimicked.

"What happened?" Shepard asked, her voice horse.

"The banshee got you, but we treated the wound." Liara answered.

"Oh… right… how long was I out?" she asked and tried to stand up.

"Maybe ten minutes, we just finished off the rest of the reaper troops." Kaiden said and handed her back her shotgun.

"Thanks." she said and shook off the dizziness.

"Shepard, if you aren't feeling well you can go back to the ship." Liara said and supported her.

She gave a short laugh, "I'm Commander fucking Shepard, remember? I don't sit out for anything. I can do anything." she popped in one of the energy boosters and sheeted her guns, time to go hand to hand, with husks it was the best tactic anyway. "Let's do this shit."


	6. Chapter 6

They went through the door and crept down the hall. Her two companions held up their guns as there was a flash of blue biotics.

"Samara, good to see something that doesn't want to kill us," Shepard said when she spotted the justicar.

"Likewise, Shepard." she said as she approached.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she strolled past her to the fallen enemies and picked up what ammo she could fit.

"My daughters are in this monastery, I'm here to try and save them." she said, but didn't turn to look at her as she passed.

"They aren't like your other daughter, right? The one who wanted to suck my life out of me through rape?" she asked and shivered at the thought. She liked women, just asari weren't really her type.

"They are ardat-yakshi, but are not like Morinth, they follow the monastery's rules." she assured her human friend.

"Okay, then let's go find your daughters." she said and shuddered at a high pitch scream. They ran towards it and came upon an unarmed asari trying to hold of reapers with biotics. Shepard shot down the further one of the two left and slammed her gun into the closer. "You okay?" she asked.

"I… Mother?" she started and then spotted Samara.

"Falere," she replied and hugged her daughter.

"Mother, they have Rila," she cried. "They took her to the great hall, I'm trying to get there." she said and then ran off before they could stop here. "We have to save her."

The shrieking was close and chilled Shepard to the bone.

"You go, I will draw these off and meet up with you later." Samara said and floated down to the lower level and disappeared out of sight.

"Good luck." she called after her. Then she turned to her squad. "Let's go find something to shoot." she said and pulled out her mantis. She loved the sniper rifle, and confused everyone with her short range shooting with it, or just using it as a bludgeon weapon.

They both nodded and kept up with her fast pace trot. Shepard never walked when she could run.

At the end of the hall she opened the door and hid to the side of it, the other two followed her lead and stepped out of the way. A husk ran through blindly, pausing when no one was there. Shepard took out her omni blade and stabbed it in the back of the neck, killing it instantly.

"Nice," Kaiden said lowly, making Shepard smirk.

"I try," she said and slunk into the room. It was another open space. "I'll bet you guys a hundred credits that there is going to be another one of those things." she muttered with a shudder.

Neither bet it. Shepard had feelings like this and normally they were right.

This room had better cover spots. The stairs they were on had two parts, stairs on either side that led to a platform and then had stairs on either side going down. It was perfect for fighting a large enemy. She could send them in circles chasing her on it.

"Get ready guys. Liara, go on the left, Kaiden on the right. Shoot the little guys first." she ordered and they took up place. Once they gave the okay she started down the steps , making it to the landing before they heard a banshee shriek. She shuddered and her chest ached, but she held her ground as it started teleporting towards her.

Taking a deep breath she pulled out her shotgun. She lifted it right where its head appeared as it reached the steps and shot, knocking it back a bit. Its head snapped back with the force and took a moment to react. It was long enough, Shepard had her second bullet in and fired it again when it turned its head back to her. "That's disgusting," she muttered as the head snapped back again, but the banshee was walking towards her still. The things face was mangled by the first shot, its left cheek was ripped clear off, showing sharp, blood stained teeth.

"Shit," she muttered and can back up the stairs, reloading her shotgun as she went. She heard the biotic blast and dove to the ground, skirting around the railing to take cover. "Grenade." She ordered Kaiden, and he chucked one right as the Banshee shrieked. It went into the widened mouth, the ripped up cheek giving it plenty of room.

It swallowed it, and licked its lips, as if saying "You can't beat me." Then it let out a pain filled cry as the grenade exploded in its gut, ripping it apart.

"Damn, that was an amazing throw." she said and stood from cover and started helping them shoot off the rest of the reaper troops. "Kaiden, that was awesome." She said and patted him hard on the back.

"Yeah…" he commented and wiped some of the guts off his gun.

The door was on the other side of the room. "Move, push them back, we need to get to that door." she ordered and they did as she said, slowly moving up from hiding spot to hiding spot.

Shepard had her mantis back out, snipping anything that poked its head into her scope. "Pull," she ordered and pointed to a group of three cannibals hiding behind a column. They lifted into the air and turned to ice from her cryo rounds. "Move," she said and they all rushed for the door, shooting and beating the stragglers that foolishly tried to charge them.

"Damn it, more rooms, how big is this place?" she cursed when the door opened and it was just another room. It was smaller than the others. Still had the same plants everywhere, and the door was on the short side of the room. They moved through it quickly, keeping low, and came upon an asari's body. "Another commando." she said and kicked her foot.

"There must have been a lot of enemies to take down so many." Liari said.

"Or they panicked." Kaiden said. They were already moving to the door, Shepard didn't waste time, they were used to it.

"Asari commandos have decades of experience, they don't panic." Liara defended.

"Doesn't matter, everyone can be broken." Shepard muttered. It was both her comment and their sign to shut up.

She opened the door to the elevator and they all slid inside. "I hate these things, one exit and a small room, it's a perfect time to get ambushed." she added as the door shut. Thane's paranoia was rubbing off on her.

"_The elevator on your ship is a poor design. It is the only way to go from level to level, besides the air ducts." he commented one day as they rode up from the cargo bay, having just got back from a short shore leave._

"_Hm… They have their advantages." she commented and leaned across from him._

"_There is only one exit and it is so small, to top it off it is a box dangling on a wire. It would be easy to cut it and send you to your death." he said, being logical. "What advantage can they have?"_

_She chuckled and went over to him, her hands gripping the front of his jacket. "Let me show you what a tiny room with only one door can do for pros." she said lustfully before she was kissing him._

_He groaned as she forced her tongue into his mouth and held her against him. She backed them up until he was against the wall and rubbed her body along his. Even through their clothes it felt amazing, having her so close to him, pressed against him, he could smell that she was growing wet. When she broke the kiss his mouth went to her neck, his hands on her ass. He lifted her up so she was wrapped around his waist. He felt her kiss his forehead, and when he looked back up they locked lips again. There was a ding and the door opened. Thane barely registered it enough to set her down in time for Kelly to set inside._

"_Hello Commander." she said looking at them and blushed when she realized what she had probably just walked into._

"_Hey," she replied and leaned against Thane, trying to help him hide the erection that pressed against his pants. They went up another floor to the crew deck and Kelly quickly got off, and when the door slide shut again they were kissing once more._

_When they made it to her cabin he pinned her against the fish tank and said huskily against her lips. "Okay, they do have some benefits."_

She smiled at the memory. That had only been a few days after the suicide mission.

"Thinking of Thane?" Kaiden asked, snapping her back to the present. "You always get this loving look in your eyes when you think about him." he added, slightly depressed about it. He cared for Shepard, but she loved Thane. He had selfishly thought when they were trying to revive him that if they failed then she could be his. But even if the drell died he doubted she would ever get over him.

She nodded and lifted her sniper up at the door opened. "But this isn't the time or the place." she said and they started moving into the room. "Found the bomb." she commented. The Great Hall was littered with explosives, and at the front of the room Samara, Falere, and who she guessed was Rila were gathered.

Rila was leaning against one of the charges with Falere calling to her. "Rila, Rila, wake up." She cried.

"She cannot hear you." Samara said in her typical sad tone.

"No… she is alive, look she is breathing." Falere sobbed.

"I know, but I fear she is not well."

"Rila is not one of them yet, she can't be, she just needs to wake up."

Shepard approached them and tapped at the charge's controls.

"Rila? Rila, can you hear me?" Falere said and her sister moved her head and opened her eyes.

She looked over at Falere as if in a haze. Something was… off, Shepard felt it in her gut. Rila stood up and pressed her hands against her face, sort of like she was casting off sleep. When she pulled them away her eyes were black. "Shit…" Shepard muttered and pointed her gun at her.

Rila moved and wrapped her arms around Falere's throat, but right before Shepard was to pull the trigger Falere shoved her off, knocking her to the ground beside the bomb. "Why did she do that?"

"They have started turning her into one of them." Samara said, more sorrow in this than when she normally talked. Shepard felt bad for the woman, this was the second child she lost.

"I'm sorry…" she told the two asari and then turned to her team. "We need to set off this bomb."

"We need a detonator, the commandos should have one." Liara said.

Shepard nodded, "Right, spread out and find it." she ordered and went to take a closer look at the bomb.

"Um… Shep?" Kaiden said and nudged her.

"What—" she was cut off by a high pitch shriek, two of them. "Fuck… Samara, I swear your whole race is out to rape me." she said, trying to draw any form of humor. Humor was a gift to stride off insanity. She pulled out her claymore again. "Kaiden, charge them, do not get killed." she ordered and he nodded, but paled slightly. "Liara, you take out their lackies, I'll flank them and get them from behind."

They all moved quickly. Kaiden charged at them, dodging there fire and kept their attention. Shepard was right, husks and cannibals started filling the room too, spreading out and reducing hiding spots available. Liara pulled and warped them out of as many spots as she could. Shepard used the distractions and worked her way to the back of the banshees she charged the closer one from behind, shooting it. Reload. Shoot. Reload. Shoot. It turned, no time to reload. She jumped at it and smashed her fist into its face, live grenade in it. She lodged it in the things throat and quickly ran back. The shock caught her and sent her off her feet, but the banshee died. The second one turned and came after her. She got to her feet , but a husk grabbed her and pinned her against a charge, trying to bite at her throat.

'Thane…' she thought. This is normally were he would shoot what was after her, determined to protect her at any cost. Thane wasn't here. She had to save herself.

She dug her fingers into its eyes and pried it off. "Fuck you," she yelled at it and slammed her foot down on its skull.

"Shepard, you okay?" Liara asked from her spot, pinned down by several cannibals shooting at her.

"Yeah," she answered and picked up her shotgun and reloaded it. The banshee was already almost on her. "Shoot this bitch down." she ordered and raised her gun to it, shooting it dead in the eyes. It screeched in pain and stumbled back long enough for her to reload. She ducked under its hand as it tried to grab her and slammed the barrel of the gun into its gut and fired, ripping it apart. It fell to the ground on top of her, dead.

"Commander," Kaiden cried and pulled the body off her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she said as she got up, covered in the things blood. "That's nasty." she said. "Find that detonator." she ordered at them as more shrieks could be heard in the distance and growing louder.

"Damn… there has to be hundreds." Kaiden said and backed up toward the bomb.

Rila stood back up and Shepard aimed her gun at her. "Falere, you must take the elevator and get out of here." she told her, back to normal for the time being.

"Rila… what are you doing?" Falere asked with tears welling up.

"It's too late for me. There are hundreds coming. Just go." she said and pulled the detonator out of her pocket.

Falere looked down at it. Samara nodded and turned to go back to the elevator with the rest of Shepard's team. Falere shook her head and went to go to her sister, but Shepard grabbed her. "Move," she ordered and dragged her forcibly by an arm around her waist.

"No! Rila!" she cried and tried to get away. Shepard wouldn't let go, she owed Samara, the least she could do was save her last child.

"I love you." Rila told her right before the elevator doors shut.

"No," Falere cried and slammed her fists on the door as Shepard let her go.

The elevator shook from the hundreds of shrieks. Then it shuddered from the explosion. The rest of the ride was silence. "There… there wasn't even time to say goodbye." Falere whispered as the door opened to the shuttles.

"Few can break the reaper's hold. Rila's will was strong, as was her love for you." Samara tried to comfort her daughter, following her out of the elevator.

"We left her to die." Falere growled at her mother.

Samara looked at her thoughtfully. "Rila made her choice, and it has reminded me of what is important, why I swore I'd lay down my life." she said and moved up beside and away from her daughter.

"What is that?" Falere asked, confused.

"Falere… the code demands that an ardat-yakshi cannot live outside a monastery that no longer exists." she said and pulled her pistol.

"What are you doing," Shepard interrupted.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. By the justicar code there is only one way to save Falere." she said and held the pistol up to her own head.

"Mother… No!" Falere cried. First her sister, and now she was going to lose her mother in the same day.

"You were all so much stronger than I believed." she said sadly.

Shepard went behind Samara and restrained her with her hands behind her back. "What are you thinking?" she snapped at her.

"Let… go." Samara said unnaturally calm.

"No." Shepard growled out. "I'm not risking my ass to save the galaxy for people to kill themselves. Why anyways?"

"I'm fulfilling the code."

"By shooting yourself?"

"I will not kill my last daughter."

"You don't have to." Farele interrupted. "I will stay here. I could of left any time, I choice not to. I don't need a building to honor my own code."

Samara accepted this and they all departed. Samara went to fight on the front lines, while Shepard went back to the Normandy. She felt disgusting, covered in banshee guts. At least no one bothered her as she headed to the elevator.

"Shepard," Chakwas pushed through the crowd to get to her. Well almost nobody. "Thane woke up."

She felt her heart flutter and turned to look at the doctor. "What? Where is he?" she asked, forgetting the gung that covered her.

"He is up in your room, but he is asleep again. I did have the chance to confirm that there wasn't any present brain damage." she said. "He had been listening to the coms when the banshee got you, and I think it stressed him out and he collapsed. I figured you would want him close to you so we put him in your room." she explained.

Shepard nodded. "Thank you." she said and turned into the elevator. She jabbed the button for her cabin and paced as it went to it. 'Faster, go faster.' She urged it. When it opened she practically ran into her room and looked at Thane from the steps. Sleeping. She sighed and turned to the shower.

She stripped the armor off and left it in the corner before getting under the hot streams of water. It made her cringe as it hit her skin, but she needed it, needed it to relax her muscles, wash off the blood and guts and med-gel. By the time she got out the water was cold. She grabbed a towel and left the bathroom as she dried her skin off.

She sat down next to Thane. He wasn't on any machines anymore, just sleeping. "Hey, love… sorry I scared you." she said softly and laid down at his side, her back against his side and curled up like an infant. "Please hold me…" she said softly, but he didn't move. He was so close, but so far. "Please… I love you…" Her shoulders shook slightly as she started to cry against his arm.

In his sleep Thane's nostrils flared as he smelt the tears and his arm wrapped around her body, holding her to him. She was shocked at first, but she knew he wasn't awake. "Thank you." she muttered and fell asleep there, at peace for the first time since all this began.

**A/N: I like this chapter, and its huge… you guys better thank my boring classes for driving me to writing all this.**


	7. Chapter 7

Thane groaned and sat up in the middle of the night, the only light coming from the fish tank. He looked down at the woman clinging to his arm and smiled softly. Shepard, his siha, was so beautiful, laying on her side facing away from him, completely exposed to his eyes besides the sheet tangled around her legs. He rolled her over gentle so she was on her back and stroked her soft skin. The ridge over his eyes furrowed when he spotted several red lines on her arm and hand his index finger over them. Cuts, and judging by the angle she had created them herself. Why? Why would she harm herself?

"Siha," he said softly and shook her lightly.

She let out a groan and rolled to face him, snuggling up to his chest. So adorable. His questions could wait till morning, right now he just wanted to hold her. He also had to talk to her about bringing him back from the sea. It went against his religion and she knew that. Kolyat had told him that she had said she couldn't live without him. That was sweet, but he still had to make sure she knew that it was wrong. She couldn't just stitch him back together whenever he passed on. "I love you, siha." he said and laid down beside her, wrapping his arms around her and fell back asleep.

Chakwas came into the room early that morning, pausing when she saw that Shepard was naked. "Oh… sorry…" she said to Thane, who was groggy, but awake.

He pulled the sheet up over her naked form. "It is alright." he said and sat up. "You are here to check on my wounds and implants, I presume?" he asked, and she nodded and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You two didn't have sex did you? You are not well enough for that kind of strain." she asked and lifted the bandages on his chest to check the stitches.

"No… I think she fell asleep after getting out of the shower." he said and ran a hand through the red strands of hair.

Chakwas nodded and scanned his chest. "It looks like the implants have killed off most of the keplar." she said and pulled out a syringe with a large wide needle on it. "Just need a blood sample, the closer to the lungs the better."

He nodded and held still when she moved it to his chest, wincing only slightly as she forced it past his hard scaly skin. She pushed down as close to his lungs as she could without fear of puncturing anything. She drew up twelve ccs of blood and pulled it back out. "There, I'll process this and make sure the keplar is gone." she said and stood up. "You are lucky, Krios, Shepard loves you, she did everything to save you." She commented as she left. "Don't let her go."

Thane looked down at his siha. She loved him. He guessed as much, but she had never told him. Always playing the act of Commander Shepard, she had trouble being herself. Showing emotions was a weakness, something the galaxy couldn't afford. "It's almost over, siha…" he assured her and laid back down, falling asleep quickly. Why was he always so sleepy?

When he woke up again it must have been near noon. He looked over at his side, but Shepard was gone. "EDI," he asked as he sat up. "Where is the Commander?"

"She is down in the bridge with Jeff and me." she replied. "We are about to dock on the Citadel to drop off the scientists. Would you like me to send her up?"

"No, I'll come down." he said as he stood up and pulled his jacket on, but left it unbuckled.

Shepard stood by the air lock and departed out of it as soon as she was able. "Shore leave till tonight, nobody get completely wasted." she called back to them.

Thane made it down and over to the bridge right after she left. "Sorry, Thane, you know how she is, never stopping for anything." Jeff said without turning to see him.

"It is fine," he said and leaned against the wall of the airlock. "EDI, could you tell her to meet me at the diner in the commons?"

"No, sorry, she turned off her omni-tool. I think she is going down to the bar to drink." EDI said. "Would you like assistance getting there?"

"No… I've got it." He pushed off the wall and started out of the ship slowly. His chest still felt restricted from the operation. Biotics were hell to get used to. Once the elevator came back up from taking her down to the bar he slid inside and held onto the handle bar as he hit the button for the bar. Something was wrong, Shepard only drank when something was bothering her. Most didn't know that about her, because she often drank, but it was socially or to impress people when they needed impressing. If she was drinking now though he felt that something was very wrong. He remembered the cuts on her arm and prayed that his love was alright.

The door opened and he could already hear the music. His heart quickened in pace when he saw Shepard about to enter the bar. "Siha," he called and she froze, turning slowly to face him. He smiled, picturing her coming and hugging him. He would hold her tightly and she would finally say the three words he wanted to hear.

She walked up to him and slapped him. "What are you doing out of bed." she snapped at him. "Get your ass back in that elevator and go back to bed, or I swear I will fucking murder you." she growled.

"Siha," he tried to say, but she cut him off.

"Now, that's an order."

"Not unless you come with me." he said firmly and grabbed her arm. "We need to talk."

"No, you need to rest and I need to get drunk." she spat at him and jerked her arm.

He gripped it harder and started back for the elevator. Once it was shut he left her go. "We both know you only drink when something is wrong." he said and rolled up the sleeve to her shirt to show her cuts. "Which clearly something is if you are hurting yourself."

"Something wrong?" she said with a short laugh. "No, nothing is wrong, just the fact that the galaxy is falling apart and I'm the only one who can save it, but I have no idea what the hell I'm doing." She pushed the button to go back to the Normandy. "I'll just drink on the ship then."

He reached over and turned on the elevator's power. "We are going to talk about why you are harming yourself." he demanded.

She looked at him for a long moment, then reached for the power switch, but he blocked her. "I can't do this, okay?" she snapped at him, tears forming in her eyes. "The great Commander Shepard is just human and she can't do this. Everything is riding on me, and for no reason. I'm not some special super human. I'm normal. I bleed. I feel pain. I break under stress." She was crying now, and Thane moved to hold her, but she turned and refused him. "And just when I had something I wanted to fight for, he goes and gets himself killed." she snapped at him.

"Siha, I didn't mean to—" he started, but she cut him off again.

"You were sick to the point we couldn't make love. You knew damn well that you would be too sick to take on Kia Leng. You fucking went into that fight with foolish pride and knew very damn well that you would die, that you would leave me." she sobbed and he held her from behind. She turned and cried into his jacket. "Don't leave me… Please… I can't do this… I need you…" she said between sobs.

"Shh, it is okay, Siha. I'm cured and I'm not going anywhere." he assured her. He turned the power back on and they went back to the Normandy.

She put back on her strong face in front of others, but when they reached her cabin she clung to him and refused to let go. "Thane…" she muttered into his chest from their spot on her bed.

"Yes, siha?" he answered, pausing in petting her hair.

"I love you."

His heart fluttered from finally hearing those words from her lips. "I love you too." he replied and held her tight and fell back asleep with her wrapped in his arms.

**A/N: So didn't mean for him to come to so quickly, but all of you have been begging for it and it fits better than my original plan. Oh I finally beat the third game and I'm pissed, the endings suck and I think I killed EDI and Tali and maybe Kaiden when I destroyed synthetics.**


	8. Chapter 8

Once he was asleep she wormed her way out of his arms, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then hopped into the shower. She let out a sigh of relaxation as the hot water hit her skin. She felt anxious, but because of the shore leave so she could go get drunk, a plan foiled by the drell asleep in her bed. Asleep and clothed, that is what really bothered her about it. Eight months since they had done anything, eight long sexless months. She was getting off topic. Since her crew was on shore leave they wouldn't be able to leave till that night, and even then it was at least a two day travel to the far rim.

Once the water ran cold she shut it off and went to her closet. It was full of t-shirts and baggy jeans, comfy clothes. But today she didn't want to be comfortable, she wanted to be alluring. She dug through the clothes until she found a shirt that would cling to her body and show off her form, even a decent amount of cleavage, just enough that she knew the drell would look. Then she pulled on a pair of form fitting black jeans to pair with the dark green shirt. Followed by a pair of knee-high black flat boots and her normal little dab of makeup and she was the closest thing to sexy a flat chested woman like her could get. Then she woke Thane up with a groan. "Come on, we are going to get your strength back up." she told him and drugged him out of bed.

He let out a slight cough as his lungs expanded more than he expected, but he followed her. "I thought you wanted me to rest, siha." he said as they walked through the streets.

"You can rest later," she said with a shrug. "Besides…" she turned so she was standing in front of him and ran her hand down his chest. "The sooner you get better the sooner we can 'make up for lost time.'" she quoted him from when she had first kissed him after her house arrest.

He shuddered and leaned down to kiss her. He hadn't missed the outfit she wore and knew that it was for him. When their lips touched it was just a peck, both knowing if they did more they wouldn't stop. She looked up at him lustfully and he couldn't stand it, he kissed her again, rougher, his tongue darting out against her lips. He wanted her, badly. He didn't realize just how much until the day he saw her at the hospital. It was then that his desires boiled to the surface, as well as the realiztation that he really thought she to be dead. If he could have he would have picked her up and taken her right there, relief and desire would have overpowered him, if only he had been able to breath. Now he could. Her lips were so soft against his, her body pressed right up against his, her soft chest, her warm body, he could smell the familiar smell of her arousal.

"Mr. Krios," a furious voice called him name and then someone jerked them apart. "And Commander Shepard, both of you know every well that he is not healthy enough for sexual activity." It was Chakwas.

"Hey, don't look at me, he started it?" Shepard said with a smirk at him.

"Only after you implied it." he said back with a slight smirk of his own.

"I don't care who started it, I'm ending it." Chakwas said firmly. "Thane is still adjusting to his biotics, don't you remember how it was for you, Shepard? How would you like it if someone was pestering you while you were adjusting?"

"If it was Thane I wouldn't have mi—"

"Okay, not getting through to you two." Chakwas cut her off. "Point being, Thane, you might hurt something if you two partake in sex, and Shepard, you did so much to bring him back, don't send him back to his grave." And with that she turned and walked off.

Shepard looked up at him and he kissed her on the nose. "Once you are better you are so going to get it." she said annoyed and dragged him off to the diner for something to eat. "You're hungry, aren't you? I haven't seen you eat since the attack."

"I have eaten a little the first time I woke up, I was more worried about you and the banshee." he admitted.

"Oh… yeah…" she said and leaned into him as they walked. "Sorry about worrying you, it… snuck up on me."

"It's okay, and now I am here to protect you." he said and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"What?" she asked and pulled away from him a bit.

"I am well and will be able to accompany you on missions." he explained.

"The hell you're not," she snapped and stopped walking. "You are going to stay on the damn ship out of harm's way."

"Siha,"

"Don't siha me," she cut him off. "You died, you lost your chance to protect me, now I'm going to be the one protecting you by keeping you on my fucking ship." She was speaking louder than she meant to and it was started to draw attention. "Hell, if I have to I'll chain you to my bed if I have to, but you are never going on a mission."

"Siha, lower your voice," he said somewhat quietly.

"I will not, let them listen." she snapped and then turned to them. "Hello, its Commander fucking Shepard having a fight with her drell boyfriend, Thane, about him going into dangerous situations and getting killed, again. Now all of you may not see why you should care, but I'm the one trying to take out the reapers to save all of you, and without him I will seriously go insane. Do you want someone insane to have your life in their hands? No, so he is not going to leave my ship."

Thane grabbed her and dragged her to the diner. Once they were sitting down he put his arms on the table and intertwined his hands and leaned forward. "Siha, I love you and I am going to protect you, now if you won't willingly allow me into the team I will be shadowing you and you won't be able to protect me in turn." he told her straight forward. "If you will just slacken your grip a bit we will both have higher chances of getting through this alive."

"No, I'm not going to lose you, not again." she said, shaking a bit. "Don't you get it, Thane? You died because of me, because I didn't take the shot and take out Leng, because when you were hurt I should have tended to you, instead I went chasing him, and for nothing, he got away."

"It wasn't for nothing, you saved the council."

"And I let the only person in the galaxy I cared about, the only person I ever loved, die." A tear fell down her cheek and he took her hands in his.

"Shh, siha, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I will always be at your side." he assured her and she nodded, still not believing his words. "Let's get something to eat; I need to get my strength back, right?"

She nodded and waved the waitress over. She ordered a meal that was similar to a beef stir-fry and a bottle of a strong wine and Thane ordered a mean pretty typical for drell. To her it just looked like a large skinned beetle. Being a desert dwelling creature they had more primal diets. You ate what was available in a desert, even if Thane grew up on a water planet, the evolution was already there.

"I don't see how you can eat that," she commented when they were brought their food.

"It's good, you should try it." he said and cut off a piece and held it up to her.

She scooted back away from him, looking at it like it was going to attack her. "No, I'd rather not eat a giant bug. Please just get it away from me." she said, not taking her eye from it. She had a phobia of bugs, she had gotten over most of it, but the thought of eating one… ugh, that made her want to throw up.

He took it away and ate it himself. "Why are you drinking? You hate alcohol." he asked as the waiter poured her a glass of the wine.

She shrugged, "It helps." she said simple and took a large swig from it. The waiter filled it back up before leaving the bottle for her.

"Siha… I thought you saved me to help you get through this without drinking yourself to death." he said with a sigh.

"No, I saved you so I wouldn't put a bullet in my head." she muttered and cut off a piece of her steak and chewed it. It tasted like a musky beef and the creature it came from looked like a lanky, long neck sheep.

"Siha," Thane said harshly, not liking that his love was talking about suicide.

"Don't worry, Thane, you're alive and well, I don't need to follow you into death anymore. I have lower survival odds than you at this point anyways." she assured him.

He narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything, knowing it wasn't any use. They ate their meal in silence, she drank over half of the bottle. At the end he paid and took his drunken lover into his arms and carried her back to the ship. Chakwas was going to kill the both of them for it, he could feel the strain pulling at the stitches.

"Thane… I love it when you hold me." she slurred into his chest.

He rubbed her arm and took her up to their room, setting her on the chair by her bed. "Siha, look at me." he said and held her face in his hands. She looked up at him with a goofy smirk. "We are going to win this war, we are going to stop the reapers. You understand? I am not going to lose you to them now that I can finally have a future with you." he told her firmly and kissed her forehead. "I love you, and I refuse to lose you."

"I love you too," she muttered and her eyes fluttered closed. "Can you take me to the bathroom? I have to throw up."

He chuckled, yeah that was romantic. He picked her up and set her down in front of the toilet and she puked up the alcohol that was making her sick. He rubbed her back and held her hair out of the way. He always loved her hair, was a strange black, though she told him it was red, it just looked black to him because of his eyes.

"Why did you let me drink?" she whined and he shook his head.

"I tried to stop you," he reminded her and kissed right below her ear.

"Try harder next time," she said after she puked again and then leaned against him, feeling a lot better now.

He picked her up and carried her to the bed and set her down on it gently. "Get some sleep, siha, I'm going to go speak with Ms. Chakwas." he told her, and though she let out a whine, she was too drunk to do anything to stop him. He kissed her forehead before going to the elevator and down to the crew deck.

"_Stand down," a voice shouted and she looked up, her fist still slamming into the half dead man's face. The cop that shouted at her fired, hitting her in the shoulder._

_She didn't even flinch. Instead she lifted his limp body up between her and the cop, blocking his shot, by his throat. The man wheezed. "Please don't kill me, take the money, damn it take the money." he begged and dug in his pocket, dragging out a bundle of bills._

_She smirked and dropped him, "Next time don't try to get out of paying." she spat at him, literally she spat on his face. The cop pulled the trigger to take the shot to take her down, but she sidestepped and took off in the alley beside them. The cop chased her, but she climbed up a tall fence and then up the side of the building and was gone._

Shepard tossed in her sleep as the memory played through.

"_Pass her," the deep voice said from the room next to the one she was in._

"_What? She failed nearly every psych exam." another voice protested._

"_She would be a great soldier."_

"_She is unstable, do not put a gun in her hands."_

"_She can learn to control her temper."_

"_No she won't, this goes deeper than just a short fuse. If we recruit her she could easily turn on us, and like you said she'd be a great soldier. You've read her record, how do you expect to control something like that?"_

"_Then we'll stick her in bootcamp, train her, mold her."_

_She grinned. They couldn't tame her, she'd never do as they said. The man was right to deny her recruitment. She looked over at the window, the only way out besides the door the men were guarding as they argued. It was small, but she could fit through it, get out of here, back to the streets. They wouldn't catch her again. But they were out there. Even being seen with a cop… She was trapped, not by walls or glass or chains or metal, but she was trapped. The door opened and out of reflex she grabbed the chair behind her and threw it at the man._

She gripped the blankets under her, her hands searching for Thane.

_Darkness, two, three, sometimes five days at a time. Then it would be light again, only for a few days, then it would be back to that darkness, a fresh body being carried to the hospital, alive, never dead after the first one. It was a method unused for centuries, but with her they had no choice, so they used the darkness. Cramped darkness, hot, wet with her sweat, only a bottle of water each time for company. She never drank it, never complained._

She trembled and jolted awake, turning her light on and shaking. It had been years since she thought about any of that. She shook her head and stumbled to the bathroom. Switching the light on and puking in the toilet. This is why she didn't drink. Once her stomach stopped heaving she moved into the shower and turned the water on, not caring that she was clothed, just let the ice cold water run over her. She slid down the wall and huddled into the corner.

'It's okay,' she told herself. That was the past, why should she be scared of it? She was alive, she was happy, she had her own ship, her own crew, hell she had the most wonderful guy in the world as her lover. It couldn't hurt her anymore. Nothing could, not them, not the reapers, no one would ever hurt her again. Her green eyes narrowed and she turned the water off. She got up and fumbled in her pocket, pulling out her switch blade and pulled it across her lower arm. It bleed into the sink. "I control it, I control when and how I feel pain. No. One. Fucking. Else." she said into the mirror and slammed her fist into the glass, ripping up her knuckles.

**A/N: Yeah so I was gone for a long time for me… I worked four days in a row… blame them… But now I don't work again till Friday and I don't have that much homework *cough* lying *cough* so I should be able to get a few chapters done before I'm forced to go back to my crappy reality. You wanna know what my work did to me yesterday? I'm a cashier at the local supermarket. They stuck me on a register as the only cashier for four busy as fucking hell hours! Someone give me hug?**


	9. Chapter 9

By the time Thane came back up she had her wounds treated with med-gel and it had knitted her flesh back as if it never happened. The mirror was still broken, but Thane hardly went into the bathroom, his dislike for water making him avoid it. She'd have time to fix it. "Hey, love." she said and kissed him as he came down the steps.

"Well this is pleasant, I was expecting to find you wasted on the bed." he said after the kiss.

"Nope, drinking is fun, side effects aren't worth it though." she told him and they kissed again. She nuzzled his neck and leaned into him.

"Shepard, the crew is all back, do you wanna head out?" Joker's voice asked over the com.

"Yes," she said without hesitating. She needed to do something, be somewhere, there was too much to do and not enough time. "Take us to the Far Rim, time to take the suits." She didn't mean it as an insult, she had nicknames for all the races. Four eyes, tanks, spurs, suits, meat bags, abstinence, blues, clanks, whatever she was in the mood for and was talking about.

Thane gripped her tighter and held her against him. "Chakwas said that I am healing very well and should be ready for missions in a few days, if I don't take it too hard." he told her with a smile and they kissed again, wanting to do so much more.

"That's good, but you aren't coming with me." she said and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He sighed and stepped away from her slightly, his hands on her hips. "Siha, we talk about this." he tried to reason.

"Yes, and you still aren't coming. You can help out in other ways, like Garder with the food, or cleaning, or Tali with the engine, Garrus might let you help with the guns."

Thane kissed her, "I will not leave you unprotected, my love." he told her firmly.

"And I'm not letting you out into danger." she replied with a glare. "You are more use to me in my bed and training my crew in hand to hand than risking you taking a bullet in your new improved lungs."

He thought about this for a second. "I wouldn't mind teaching the crew hand to hand, but I want to be with you in the field." he said, trying to be reasonable.

She pouted at him, "Fine, okay, we will talk about it when the mission comes up."

He nodded, knowing this would be all he was going to get out of her for now. He lifted her into his arms and she squeaked. "Put me down, you are still recovering, I'm heavy, put me down you overgrown lizard." she snapped.

He kissed her cheek and dropped her onto the bed and then climbed over her. "Thane, you need to recover." she said and scooted back away from him. He smirked and followed her, pinning her down as she reached the headboard. "You need to rest," she protested before he kissed her, his tongue tracing her lips. She gasped and he slid his tongue inside her mouth, making her moan at his taste. She had wanted this for over half a year, wanted him pinning her down, his lips on hers, ravishing her. Her lips moved against his, arms slid around his neck, pulling him closer, arching up into him. He growled and ground against her.

"Thane…" she panted when he broke the kiss and trailed his lips down her neck. "You… We need to stop." she said and tried to push him again.

He nodded, but his lips only went lower. He ripped her shirt over her head when it got in the way and nipped at her tender flesh.

"That's not stop… stopping." she panted and laid under him, helpless, not having the will to stop what she wanted so badly.

He could smell her arousal and slid his hand into her pants. She shivered as he slid his fused fingers between her lower lips and pushed them into her warm, wet, pussy. "T-Thane," she groaned softly.

"Yes, siha?" he purred against her ear, making her shudder. He removed his hand, the two fused fingers coated with her juices and licked them clean. She watched his tongue lick it off and pulled him down into another kiss, wanting that tongue inside her mouth. He obliged and kissed her deeply, pushing her down against the bed.

"Siha…" he whispered against her lips as she wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, pushing their sexes together. He broke the kiss abruptly and started to cough.

"Thane," she said worried and let him go.

He moved to sit down beside her, one hand clamped to his chest, coughing and panting.

"Shit, Thane, hold on." she said as she darted off her bed and went into her closet. She pulled out a small oxygen tank with a mask and pressed over his nose and mouth. She had gotten this after the suicide mission, before the house arrest, to help him breath better at night, but he had always refused to use it.

He breathed deeply with the aid of the machine and the coughs slowly stopped.

She trembled as she took the mask away from his face. She could have killed him, just like with Leng. It was her fault he had died. She should have taken the shot, of pushed Thane away and faced him herself, something. She had known Thane was sick and still let him fight. Never again, he was never going into battle again.

"Siha," he rasped and wiped a tear off her cheek she hadn't known was there. "I'm okay, my body is still adjusting to the biotics." he tried to assure her.

She pushed him away and went to her fish tank, standing in front of her and watching her fish swim about.

"Siha…" he tried again and went to go to her.

"Don't you dare get up." she snapped at him, not bothering to look at him. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her shoulders shook. "I nearly just killed you." she sobbed and bowed her head down.

"Siha, you didn't do anything, it was I who started it." he said, but didn't get off the bed.

She looked down at her hands. She could kill anything with these hands, but she couldn't protect with them, she just killed. What was all that training for if all she could do was still kill? "Thane…" she sobbed.

"Yes, my love?" he asked her softly.

"I… don't think this is going to work…" she said before she turned and left the room.

He sat on the bed, dumb struck. Did she just break up with him? "Siha," he said and rushed after her, but she had already taken the elevator down. He punched the metal. This had to be a dream. Shepard, the woman he loved, who had finally spoken that she loved him back… broke up with him? Something was wrong, it had to be. She had to have a reason. He leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor, tears peeking out of the corner of his eyes. 'Please… let this be some sick dream…' he thought. 'Please of let me of heard her wrong.' The scene replayed over and over in front of his eyes, making any hope that this was a misunderstanding impossible.

They were over.

**A/N: I am so mean to my characters. Everything was going too well, so here is a dose of wtf with a side of drama. This actually also serves as a point to get to know Shepard's background, you guys may even get to know her name coming up… If you review enough. Hehe, I'm evil.**


	10. Chapter 10

"So why are you half naked on my bed?" Garrus asked as he tweaked the large ship gun.

Shepard was sitting on his cot in the back of the room, still only in her pants and bra. It didn't bother her for Garrus to see her like this, during their first mission together the girl's shower broke down and she had to shower with the guys, Garrus took it upon himself to shower right beside her to make sure no messed with her.

Garrus gave her a sideways glance. The woman was hot, like incredibly. She had soft smooth tan skin, a flat toned stomach, strong legs, and small perky breasts. He had thought about it, about them, but she was too much like a sister, didn't mean she wasn't eye candy though.

"Thane is up in my room," she said without looking up from his datapad.

"And? Wouldn't that mean you'd be up there trying to get his pants off?" he said as he paused with the gun to look at her confused.

She sighed and bowed her head. "I broke up with him." she said quietly.

"What?" Garrus said and bumped his head on gun as he tried to jerk into a sitting position from under it. He slid out and looked at her. "You two have been dating for over a year. Why would you dump him? You love him."

She shook her head. "I only bring people suffering and pain, Garrus, everyone I try to help just ends up dying." she said sadly. "I won't hurt him."

"Shep, you are crazy. The man in madly in love with you, and you dump him because you're afraid you are going to hurt the two fifty pound, thick hide, assassin trained man?" he was rubbing his forehead with his fingers, trying to take this in.

"Yes," she said simply. "I am afraid I will hurt him because with me he is a target for the reapers, because they will take everything I care about away, and I'm not good enough to stop them. I will stop them, but the damage they will do… I don't want his life to be added to it."

"Alright, Shep, it's your call." he said with a shake of his head and slid back under the gun. "I give it a week before you fuck him." he added, which got his pillow thrown at his legs, he chuckled.

She sighed and laid down on the bed. She was going to have to avoid Thane, Kolyat, and every man on this ship that wanted to sleep with her… It was going to be hell. She pulled out her little music player and put it in her ears and pressed play.

_Why am I always hit on by the boys I never like_

_I can always see 'em coming from the left and from the right_

The news of her single status spread like wildfire and it seemed the whole ship knew by the morning of the second day. She was leaving the mess to go down to the cargo bay, but she waited for the elevator Thane walked towards her from the left and Kaiden from the right, blocking her in.

_I don't want to be a priss, I just try to be polite_

_But it always seems to bite me in the –_

She smirked as the elevator opened up and she quickly stepped in and shut the door in both of their faces, catching a glimpse of the glare they gave each other.

_Ask me for my number, yeah you put me on the spot_

_You think that we should hook-up, but I think that we should not_

The elevator opened and James was standing there, waiting for her. He asked her out again, and she told him no, again.

_You had me at hello, then you opened up your mouth_

_And that is when it started going south_

As she walked away to were the punching bags were set up he made a comment about Thane, insulting him. She turned around and punched him in the face.

_Oh!_

He's head snapped back from the blow and he gripped him bleeding nose. She ordered him to go to Chakwas and get that healed, and he listened.

_Get your hands off my hips, 'fore I'll punch you in the lips_

_Stop your staring at my— Hey!_

_Take a hint, take a hint_

As he turned away his hand grabbed her ass, then he ran into the elevator before she could kill him.

_No you can't buy me a drink, let me tell you what I think_

_I think you could use a mint_

_Take a hint, take a hint_

After her work out Garrus found her and asked if she wanted to go to the bar with him, she denied, knowing that even her friend wanted a shot with the commander, but she was nicer to him about it, they had been through enough with each other for him to flirt a bit, she trusted him not to push anything on her.

_La, La, La…._

_T-take a hint, take a hint_

_La, La, La…._

Laria was even trying to flirt with her, which she avoided at all costs, she liked the asari, and the blue girls were nice to look at, but banshees ruined them for her.

_I guess you still don't get it, so let's take it from the top_

_You asked me what my sign is, and I told you it was Stop_

_And if I only had a dime for every name that you just dropped_

_You'd be here and I'd be on a yacht_

_Oh!_

James wasn't done in his attempts. He found her after dinner, his nose bandaged from the day before, and started calling her this nickname and that. She finally turned on him and cussed him out. Thane who was still sitting at the dinner table gripped him utensils tightly, cutting his dinner with more force than needed. She was his. No she wasn't and it was tearing him apart to see all these people after her.

_Get your hands off my hips, or I'll punch you in the lips_

_Stop your staring at my— Hey!_

_Take a hint, take a hint_

Kaiden cornered her the next morning, his hands resting on her sides and leaned down to kiss her. He had her trapped against the wall, couldn't do anything. Kolyat appeared behind Kaiden and spun him around, punching him in the jaw. She didn't look up at the boy, man now really. And he didn't say anything, but both knew he wanted her back with his father.

_No you can't buy me a drink, let me tell you what I think_

_I think you could use a mint_

_Take a hint, take a hint_

_La, La, La…._

_T-take a hint, take a hint_

_La, La, La…._

Garrus tracked her down not long after and asked her to go to the bar with him again, she denied, saying she was busy and went back to cleaning her guns.

_What about "no" don't you get_

_So go and tell your friends_

_I'm not really interested_

James caught her again as she was working out, trying to get her to agree to a date with him.

_It's about time that you're leavin'_

_I'm gonna count to three and_

_Open my eyes and_

_You'll be gone_

She told him no rudely and told him to leave, her eyes closed and rubbing them in frustration.

_One._

_Get your hands off my—_

Kaiden asked her out.

_Two._

_Or I'll punch you in the—_

James asked her out.

_Three._

_Stop your staring at my—_

Laria asked her out.

_Hey!_

_Take a hint, take a hint_

_I am not your missing link_

_Let me tell you what I think_

_I think you could use a mint_

_Take a hint, take a hint_

Thane appeared in the elevator beside her. He shut it off and forced his lips against hers, holding her to him.

**A/N: I hate songfics, I think it's the easy way out, but it fits here so well. I was listening to this song on my way to class and was struck by inspiration. This is also one of the only songs that a nickelodeon show came out with that is good.**

**The song: .com/watch?v=MiYLLhBPxIk **


	11. Chapter 11

She jumped when she was suddenly grabbed and tried to push him off. 'No, no, you are supposed to not be doing this.' she thought as she started kissing him back. Their tongues danced with each other, both trying to win the upper hand and dominate the other. 'Stop… Damn it, why does he have to make this so hard.' He pinned her against the side of the elevator and ground against her. She moaned and sucked on his tongue, her hands running down his chest.

He abruptly broke the kiss and looked down at her. "You are mine," he said firmly and bit her neck, hard.

She let out a cry and gripped his arms. "Thane, shit, that hurts." she winced.

He growled and pressed her harder against the side of the elevator. He wanted her, needed her. He spent the last week watching the woman he loved, his warrior-angel, his siha, be the target of other men. Finally he let out of her neck and looked back into her eyes, her blood on his lips. He licked it off and looked down at her, slightly apologetic.

She glared at him and forced him away. She turned on the elevator and hit the button for the crew deck. Her right hand moved and put pressure on her neck to try and stop the bleeding.

"Siha," he said worried, his mind clearing at the smell of all the blood. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

She didn't say anything, just jabbed the button again.

"Siha," he said and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I… drell bite their mates as a warning to other males to stay away." he tried to explain. She didn't answer again, just kept jabbing the bottom, wanting it to go faster. "Siha, I love you, I want to be with you, for the rest of my life. Please say something, siha."

"Stop calling me that," she finally snapped. "It's Commander."

"Si… Commander… I really didn't mean to hurt you, human skin isn't as thick as a drell's and in my jealousy I forgot to—"

The door opened and she flipped him over her head and stormed off to the med-bay.

Kolyat heard the thud from the life support, his room, and for the moment his father's, and pocked his head out to see what caused it. "Father," he said when he saw the man on the ground, blood on his chin. "Are you okay?"

Thane nodded and stood up with help of his son.

"Dear god, what bit you?" Chakwas asked as she looked at the wound. It was the size of a half dollar, teeth marks in a perfect circle.

"Doesn't matter," Shepard said with a shrug.

"It looks like a husk got ahold of you and it doesn't matter?" Chakwas asked as she applied some med-gel to the wound and stitched at the thicker parts to help it seal.

"Thane… got possessive…" she muttered.

"Oh… well I had heard that drells bite, but I didn't think he would try and take a chunk of flesh out of you." she said as she finished.

"He didn't." she said with a shrug. "I'm softer than a drell."

"You are defending him, and you don't seem upset about him injuring you. Why don't you just stop this silliness and take him back before we run out of medical supplies healing James and Kaiden from the effects of their advances." she asked the commander.

"He needs to focus on getting better and I need to focus on saving the galaxy." Shepard said with a shrug and stood up.

"He is better, has been for a few days."

"Then I just need to focus on saving everyone, it's time consuming, ya know?" she said and left the med-bay.

Thane was waiting for her outside of it. "That's why?" he asked, having heard the conversation, "That's why you left?"

Shepard didn't stop on her way to the elevator.

"Shepard, don't ignore me." he said and followed.

"Joker, how far out are we?" she spoke to the ceiling.

"About an hour." his voice replied.

"Good, tell Tali and Garrus to suit up and meet me at the airlock."

Thane followed her into the elevator. "I thought I was going with you." he said and furrowed the ridge above his eyes.

"No I said I would think about it, but this mission is too important to send someone who hasn't seen battle in a year." she finally spoke to him, her hands behind her back and she stood up straight.

"You don't have to worry about me hindering you, I am well and I know how to shoot." he argued.

She snorted, "Please, I'd rather take Kolyat, at least he has shot a gun recently, and not missed." It was a low blow, but it served its purpose. They both knew that Kolyat had potential, but he was still horrible in hand to hand and his shooting was average, verses his father who could take out a krogan with his bare hands and shoot a penny a mile away.

They made it to the crew deck and Shepard went to the bridge. Tali was already there, having been nervous and prepared an hour before called. Garrus was still just taking his time, probably polishing his sniper.

"I talked to the quarrian leaders and got a debriefing on the situation. The civil fleet is in the middle of the fight, pinned down by a dreadnought. They want us to fly in using the Normandy's stealth system and take it out from the inside." she informed the commander who nodded.

"Alright, Joker, take us in and find a place for us to dock." she said before turning to go the armory. "I'll be back in a few minutes." she said. "When Garrus gets up here, keep him here." she ordered them as she walked away.

Thane followed her, and once they were alone he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. "Shepard… please let me come." he softly begged.

"No," she said firmly and tried to get out of his arms.

He tightened his grip. "If you feel nothing for me then you shouldn't be so protective, I will be at no greater risk than Tali or Garrus." He grabbed her pistol from her hip and shot a fly across the room. "And I can shoot."

She clenched her fists, "I said no, you are going to stay on this ship."

"Why," Thane asked, gripping her shirt with his free hand.

She twisted away from him and grabbed her armor. She pulled it on, clicking everything in place and grabbed her guns. Mantis, claymore, avenger, hand cannon, and tempest. She only really used the first three, the other two were a backup. "Just stay on the ship, I'll be back soon." she said and walked back past him towards the air lock.

He grabbed her hand as she passed. "I will… if you promise to stop this foolishness and be mine again." he said and kissed her tenderly.

She let him. "Thane, you're better off without me." she told him with a sigh.

"I am nothing without you." he corrected her and kissed her again, lingering there for a second longer. "You awoke me from my battle sleep, without you I might as well be in it."

She sighed and pulled back, "Thane… let's be serious, after all this is said and done, I'm probably going to be dead. Best you start moving on now."

He grabbed her and held her tight against him. "You can deny my affections, push me away, but you can never stop me from loving you." he told her firmly. "Don't throw away what we have now that we finally have a chance at a future together."

She hugged him back for a moment and then they let each other go. "I'll be back." she assured him and left for the airlock. This time he let her go.

"You two seem to be reaching an understanding." Kolyat said, walking in as Shepard walked out.

Thane nodded, "Yes, let us hope it will stay this way." he said and ran his hands along his face. He left for the bridge, planning on watching over his love from the ship.

"There's the air dock," Joker said as it came into view. "Shit… it's torn all to hell, no way are you getting through that." he said as they came up beside it.

"Maybe not a group, but one person could." Shepard said as she looked over it. "I'll go through, and then when I'm across you two follow." she told Garrus and Tali.

Thane stiffened, "Commander, there has to be a safer way than—"

"This is the only way in, I'm going." she said before he could finish and went into the air lock. She forced her helmet over her head and locked it into place before walking out into space with the gravity boots on, sticking her to the torn up metal tubing.

"Careful, Shepard." Joker said in her ear. "I'm pretty sure if you die your boyfriend is going to kill me."

"He isn't my boyfriend," she said back as she worked her way along, walking up the sides to go around holes in the metal.

"He still will kill me." he said as said drell stood over him, lurking almost.

She didn't respond, just kept walking. "Damn… Tali, you would love this view." she said as she looked down on Rannoch through one of the gaping holes.

"Really?" Tali's voice said in her helmet.

"Yeah…" Shepard assured her and continued on her way. There was a weak spot in the tube, she saw it, but it was the only spot on it left so she had to go over it. Carefully, she stepped on it, but it creaked under her foot and broke off.

"Shepard," Joker's voice called worried.

"I'm fine," she said as she gripped onto the part of the tube that was still connected to the geth ship. "Looks like no one else is coming this way."

"Once you get inside you might be able to unlock another air dock." Tali suggested.

"Wait, so you don't want to take the geth on by yourself?" Joker teased.

"Not if I can help it." came Shepard's snide reply.

Once she made it in the ship she could move faster, having gravity instead of having to use her boots. "I'm in." she told them and looked around. "Where is the nearest air dock from my location?" she asked, and when they answered she headed that way. There weren't any geth to stop her they didn't know she was inside yet, so getting to the air lock was easy. When it opened Tali and Thane stood there.

"What the fuck is he doing here and where is Garrus?" she asked and pointed to the drell.

"Garrus tripped and hit his head," Thane answered. "So I'm filling in for him since I am a sniper too." He almost seemed smug about it.

"Yes, he… tripped." Tali said, giving Shep a look that told her there was more to it than that.

Shepard glared at Thane. "Go back on the ship," she ordered him.

"No, you need a third man and I was the only one ready." he said dryly.

"You tripped Garrus," she stated.

"No I did not." he said and stepped past the commander. "Kolyat did." he added.

"What the shit…" Shepard said and couldn't help but smirk. "What do ya know, I'm rubbing off on the kid. Alright, you can come, just keep your head down." She bumped sides with Thane and he pushed back against her.

Tali giggled, making them both look back at her.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"You two are so in love, just get back together already." she said and pushed the two love bird down the hall.

Shepard was about to answer with a sarcastic remark before a bullet whizzed by her head. By the time she turned to see who it was Thane had shot the geth right in the head. "Boom, head shot." she muttered and looked up at Thane. "Thanks."

"Anytime, siha." he said and kissed her cheek.

"Okay, lovey dovey stuff was cute, but now it's just getting sappy." Tali said, bringing the attention back to the mission.

Shepard backed away from Thane. "Right… Thane, stay behind cover and keep a good view of the area, Tali send out your drones to scout ahead, the geth will know we are here now." she ordered and they moved. Shepard's heart unclenched as she saw the three of them working together. Just like back with the collectors now that Thane was here. She had missed him on missions.

"_Come on, dumb ass, step out from behind the crate…" she muttered as she looked into her scope. "Just a little more, can't shoot you in the arm, that won't kill you." she said and her finger laid on the trigger. In her focus she didn't notice the husk coming up on her until its blood splattered on her face. "What the, oh shit." she said in shock when she looked up just as the husk fell over dead, Thane a good forty meters away with his sniper pointed in her direction._

_She chuckled as she saw where he had shot it. "Boom, headshot." she called to him and he smirked. The phrase had been strange to him at first, but she had explained that in shooter video games when someone sniped something in the head, a.k.a a headshot they said it as a way to brag. It had become a regular thing for her to say it to him whenever he shot something in the head, and it actually made him aim for the head more often._

They killed all the geth in the room, but more were sure to be coming so they moved swiftly. Thane gripped her arm and paused her in running just long enough to give her a quick kiss to her helmeted forehead. "Head in the mission," she told him and tapped the tip of her mantis against his head.

"Of course, siha." he told her and they speed up to catch up to Tali.

They eventually came across the room that had Legion in it and then freed him. He shut down the ship's defenses and weapons as a kind gesture and they went to leave.

"The dreadnought has stopped firing, its shields are done, now's our chance." Admiral Gerrel's voice said over the coms.

Shep pressed her hand against her ear. "What? We are still on here." she protested.

"This is our only chance." he told the fleet, ignoring her, all ships fire.

The dreadnought shook and nearly knocked her off her feet, but Thane caught her. "Hold fire, we are still on the dreadnought." she shouted over the mic as they all picked up the pace.

Gerrel didn't listen and all ships kept firing.

"Damn it," she cursed and they started sprinting, shooting the geth reinforcements as they went.

A geth prime appeared right in front of Shepard, who was leading the small group of three. She looked up at it and went to pull out her avenger, but before she could the geth knocked her back off her feet. She soared through the air, back past Thane and Tali and her head knocked hard into the wall. She dropped to the ground motionless.

"Shepard," Thane said worried and ran back to her as Tali sent out her drones to distract the prime. He pulled Shepard into a small cover and shook her.

She groaned and looked up at him with hazy eyes.

"Siha, come on," he said and shook her more.

"Th-Thane…" she muttered and leaned into him.

"Shepard, get up, we are in the middle of a fight." he told her and poked his head out of cover to shoot an approaching geth.

"Fight… the geth… shit the geth." she said, her mind clearing up. She poked her head up too. "Where is my avenger?" she asked when it wasn't on her back like it was supposed to be. She looked around and spotted it near the prime's feet.

Thane saw it too. "No, Shepard, use another gun." he told her, but she was already up and sprinting for it. "Damn it," he muttered and started shooting at the prime, desperately trying to keep its attention.

It shot at him and forced him into cover. He only stayed down for seconds, but in that time he saw a thousand ways Shepard could die right now. Before his shields were all the way back up he got up and started shooting at it again. It had turned to Shepard, but she managed to dodge most of its bullets. By now she was at her gun and slid under the geth's feet as she grabbed it. She turned as she slid and pointed the gun at it on one knee. The cryo rounds sank into the metal and stiffened it, halting it as it was about to shoot Thane. She used the time while it couldn't move to run back to cover by Thane.

"That is why I insisted on coming." he snapped at her and kept shooting at the prime. "You are too reckless."

"Hey, I'm alive, I knew you'd have my back." she said and released clip after clip into the prime. It took five clips, but it went down, exploding. She pulled up her helmet enough to reveal her lips and gave him a kiss. "Thanks, babe." she told him and they took off running again, trying to reach the fighter ships Legion was going on about. There was a blast in the hull, air leaking out into it. "Helmet on," she snapped at Thane, who did as she ordered and pulled his mask on just in time.

They ran and ran, shooting down whatever appeared, running by what they could. They ran through a door, up the ramp, through another door, and then could see Legion in the distance by the ships. "Thank fuck," Shepard said and they sprinted.

Thane heard a creak and grabbed the two girls, stopping them from being killed by a beam that fell and broke the path in front of them. None of them paused, going to the side that had the smallest gap and leapt for it. Shepard went first and it bent under her weight, knocking her down to the lower level.

"Siha," Thane called and was about to jump down to her.

"I'm fine, go, go, I'll find a way back up." she ordered them and they jumped across and ran towards the ship, Shepard running on the level below them. "Found a way up." she told them as she came up to a ramp that spiraled and merged with the upper level. A support gave way with a blast and she shied away from the heat, never stopping her sprint forward.

The upper level blew up behind Thane and Tali, knocking them into the air and gravity disappeared. Shepard activated her gravity boots just in time and managed to grab Thane's boot, pulling him back down to her. Legion went and grabbed Tali and they all piled into the fighter ship.

"Joker, we are coming out in a geth fighter ship, do not shoot us." she told him.

"Um… which one is you?" he asked.

She tapped a few buttons on her omi-tool. "Sent you the location."

"Gottcha, Commander, what would you do without me?" he said as the Normandy came and picked them up.

The crew cheered as they exited the fighter.

Legion held back, knowing that the organics may have a bad reaction to him.

Shep looked back at him. "Everyone, this is Legion, he helped us defeat the collectors. He is a trusted ally and I expect you to treat him with kindness." she told her crew and clamped her hand down on Legion's shoulder.

Everyone looked at him wary, but if the commander trusted him—well if the commander ordered them—they wouldn't harm the geth.

"Thank you, Shepard Commander." he said.

"No problem, now come on, we have some quarrians to shoot in the face, fucking asses, firing at us while we are on the damn ship." she said and dragged the synthetic into the elevator. She paused at the door, spotting Kolyat. "Garrus is going to hurt you." she warned him, making him tense.

When she reached the war room she told Hacket what Garrel did while waiting for them to arrive, and he was just ask pissed as she was about it. "They have the largest fleet, Shepard, we need that fleet." he reminded her.

"I know, kiss ass and lick boots, I got it." she said and turned to leave the room.

She stepped back into the war room to see Garrel and Raan arguing.

"Your unilateral strike endangered us all! I should you charged with treason." Raan lectured him.

Gerrel looked in dead in the eye, well mask. "I was within my authority as admiral of the heavy fleet." he defended.

"And what of Shepard, and Tali'Zorah?"

"They escaped unharmed." He turned to her. Bad move for him to look for her to defend him after he nearly killed her, the girl she saw as a little sister, and the man she loved. "Shepard, the perimeters of the mission changed. You're military, you understand."

"I understand you wasted your chance to retreat to try and have me killed." she snapped at him, getting in his face.

"The dreadnought was def—" he didn't get a chance to finish his excuse, Shepard punched him hard in the gut. He let out a painful gasp and doubled over.

"You nearly killed me, Thane, Tali, Legion, and that is only those you endangered by pointing your guns at." she growled at him. "Your actions jeopardized the mission and your people, and for what? To take down one ship? Legion disarmed it, it couldn't do anything, you should have retreated your civil fleet, waited for me to get the fuck off of it, and then line up an attack that isn't risking a shot at one of your own ships. I am military, but you are a fool. Get the fuck off my ship."

Raan stepped in as Gerrel limped away. "Shepard, I understand you are angry…"

"Angry? If I didn't need your fleet…" she said, but Tali quickly stepped in before she could say something she would regret.

"He nearly killed us, Raan."

Raan looked down before looking to Shepard. "You have to understand, the geth inflicted heavy casualties before you disabled the reaper signal." she tried to reason.

Shepard turned away and paced for a moment, calming down. Her anger was always so close to the surface these days. "You said they have a planetary defense cannon?" she said, switching topics. If they kept going on this one she was going to put someone through the wall.

"Had. Admiral Koris sacrificed his ship to destroy it. He crash-landed on the home world." Raan updated them.

"We'll help with rescue efforts." she assured Raan. She still had to kiss ass and lick boots, especially after punching one of their admirals.

"Thank you commander, I think the worst is over, the geth no longer have the reaper code." Raan said with a slight bow of her head.

Legion stepped out of the shadows where he had been watching from. "Shepard Commander, we are ready to offer assistance."

"Oh yes, your geth friend." Raan said and looked up at him.

"Yeah… they reapers were using him as a signal booster for the reaper upgrades."

"It," Tali corrected. She saw Legion as a being, something worth calling more than it, but wanted to ease Raan into being allies with a geth. "We freed it."

"This is a fascinating prototype." Raan said as she circled Legion. "With some study I may be able to find a weakness in the geth."

"Legion is my friend and comrade, not a test subject." Shepard said defensively. "He helped me defeat the collectors."

"So did your pistol, should I be worried about their feelings as well?" Raan said with a shrug.

"I don't think you wanna go down that road with me." Shepard threatened. There is was again, her anger. "Legion is my friend, and, what you will find more important, he is our best source of information on the geth."

"The scientific benefits—"

"Are off the table." Shepard finished for her.

Raan looked at Shepard closely for a moment before turning to Legion. "What can you tell us about the geths' next move now they are without the reapers' guidance?"

"This is a false assumption, you merely shut off the long-range signal, but the old machines placed a base on Rannoch for short-range direction.

"They still have reaper upgrades?" Raan said in dismay.

"That is correct." Legion nodded. "They are currently disorganized, but once the short-range signal is in place they will recover."

"Keelah, I need to warn the fleet. Xan, corrdinate with Gerrel. Move!" she told her right hand who nodded and took off after the heavy fleet admiral.

Shepard patted Legion on the shoulder. "We need to take out the reaper base, where is it located?" she asked him.

"Unkown."

"Find it." she ordered.

"Understood. We do know the location of a server from which geth fighter squadrons are controlled." he said and pulled up a digital map of Rannoch on the display screen. "The squadrons are targeting creator liveships. Disabling them will little casualties, we offer assistance."

"Thanks." she said as she looked at the map. She knew this wasn't easy for Legion, he was basically turning on his own people.

She pushed off the map and looked at Raan. "That will be all." she said and left for the exit. "Legion, we still have your room behind the med-bay if you would like to rest and go over everything that has happened." she told him kindly.

"Thank you, Shepard Commander." he told her and bowed his head.

**A/N: Really long chapter… not to fond of it, more one of those things you had to put in the story, but you really just wanna get to something else… And 13 pages in word… wow… and to think I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now.**


	12. Chapter 12

Thane grabbed her as she left the war room and kissed her neck.

"Thane, let me go, I need to get ready for the mission on Rannoch." she said, her voice tired.

He picked her up in his arms bridal style, "You need to see Chakwas, you could have a concussion from that blow." he said and carried her into the elevator.

"I'm fine," she protested, but didn't try to get away. It felt good to be in his arms, to have someone carry her while she carried the weight of the galaxy. "Thane…?" she asked.

"Yes, siha?" he asked and rubbed her arm.

"Does this mean we are back together?" she asked sleepily. Maybe she did have a concussion, she was suddenly so sleepy.

"Yes," he told her and kissed her as she tried to lean up to kiss him.

"Yay…" she said with a smile and started to drift to sleep.

"Siha," he said harshly and shook her. "You can't go to sleep, if you do have a concussion then you could slip into a comatose state."

She whined, "But I'm tired." she complained and buried her face against his chest, breathing in his scent.

"I know, love, I know." he told her and shook her again when she didn't respond.

"I'm awake." she said and looked up at him.

"Good," he said and rushed to the med-bay as the elevator door opened. "Dr. Chakwas, can you look at the Commander?" he asked as he set her down on an exam table. "She hit her head on the mission."

The good doctor came over and looked Shepard over, checking her pupils, scanning her head, making sure she wasn't hiding any bullet wounds. "She seems fine, just tired." she told Thane when she was done. "It's probably all those energy boosters she had been taking. I'd venture that she has crashed off them. A good night's rest and she will be fine."

Shepard sat up on her elbows. "I can't rest, I have to go save Rannoch before the geth recover so that the quarrians will send their fleet to help earth." she protested.

"The geth can wait a few hours for you to catch a few winks." Chakwas said and looked at Thane. "Take her to her room and make her rest as long as possible, we don't know how long until the quarrians are going to call for her."

Thane nodded and picked her up.

They both looked down at her. Her eyelids were heavy, glazed over almost, she was as good as asleep at this point.

"It isn't fair, Thane." Chakwas said shaking her head. "The whole… everything is riding on her shoulders. You know she hasn't had a full night sleep since earth was first attacked. According to James she didn't sleep that well before either. He said that her hands would grip the sheets beside her as if searching for something before jolting awake… sometimes she would mumble something about 'Keep breathing.'" She looked at the drell and he bowed his head.

She had been having nightmares that he died, that she would never see him again.

_I hear soft footsteps approach me. They are hesitant. I tense for a second before I catch the scent of her strawberry shampoo. Hopefully, I turn around and see her standing there, Shepard, my "Siha…" I can't find anything else to say. I realize now how much I thought her to be dead and it makes my chest clench. "I heard earth had been attacked… I didn't know you made it out." To another my tone may seem heartless, but I know she can hear the happiness in it._

"_Thane…" she said and we intertwine our fingers. It feels strange, different, with her unfused fingers. "It's been too long… I was starting to think I'd never see you again."_

Chakwas looked at Thane funny as he spaced out. "Memories?" she asked. Shepard had told her some things about drell, like their memories.

He nodded, "When I first saw Shepard after the attack on earth." he told her. "She told me that she was starting to think she'd never see me again… I didn't know just how serious she was about it." He looked down at the beautiful woman in his arms. "I should go, she needs her rest." he said, bowed his head to her, and slipped out of the med-bay and into the elevator.

"Dad," Kolyat called and slid in right as the door closed. "Garrus is chasing me." he panted.

Thane chuckled, "That's what you get for 'tripping' him into the handle of your gun." he smirked. "You can come up, but Shepard needs to sleep, so keep it quiet." he told him and hit the button for her cabin.

"So you two are good then?" he asked, looking down at his father's lover.

Thane nodded.

"She's okay, right?" he asked, kind of worried.

He nodded again, "She just hasn't been sleeping well." he explained and walked into her cabin when the door opened.

"Damn…" Kolyat muttered as he saw the room. "Nice room." he said walked down the steps and sat on the couch. There were model ships hanging from a rack above him, every spot filled, a space hamster on the shelf behind it, and a huge fish tank filled with all kinds of fish, even eel and jellyfish. As he watched them the automatic feeder sprayed food into the tank.

Thane set Shepard down on the bed and pulled the blanket over her before joining his son on the couch. "Why do you guys get the good room?" Kolyat asked.

"Because she is the commander." he said and leaned back on the couch, letting his muscles relax for the first time since the mission.

Thane and Kolyat talked for hours, at one point they played a game of chess on the board Shepard had bought after Traynor beat her at it.

Three hours after having been put into the bed, Shepard jolted awake, covered in cold sweat.

"Siha, are you okay?" Thane asked and started to get up to go to her.

She jumped out of bed and ran past him into the bathroom, where she threw up in the toilet. Both Thane and Kolyat were outside of the bathroom in an instant. She threw up two more times before she managed to keep her stomach from lurching up the only thing that occupied it, bile and stomach acid.

"I'm fine," she gasped and moved towards the sink and swished some water in her mouth to get rid of the taste. She looked up at her reflection in the broken mirror. She looked like hell. "Thane, help me get this armor off." she said as she tried to reach the airlocks, but her body didn't want to bend that much right now.

He nodded and hit the airlocks and slid the armor off her body, leaving her in a skin tight black shirt and pants.

"Um… what's with the get up?" Kolyat asked.

"Ever worn heavy armor? It chafes really bad." Shepard told him as she pulled the top over her head, leaving her in a beater. "Damn… I'm all sweaty." she muttered. She wanted to get these pants off too, but all she had under it were her boy shorts and she didn't think Thane wanted his son to see her in her panties.

"Kolyat, would you mind taking her armor down to the armory for cleaning?" Thane asked, as if he could read her mind. Kolyat shrugged and picked the armor up, surprised at the weight, but didn't say anything.

Was he was in the elevator she pulled the pants off and sighed in relief as the cool air touched her skin. Thane looked her over and felt the urge to touch her, but he restrained himself, she needed to get more sleep.

"I'm going to take a shower while I have the chance." she said as she walked past him to the shower, stripping off her clothes as she went.

Thane watched every moment she made, taking in her beautiful tan body as it became exposed to him.

"_Shep," Jack asked one morning at breakfast, the commander only in a pair of shorts and a beater "how are you so tan, not like we get any sun on this ship."_

_Shepard looked up at her confused. The rest of the crew looked at her curiously, obviously they all wanted to know, even I was curious._

"_Oh, I'm Italian. If we get sunburned we keep the tan for like a year." she explained, and everyone but the humans looked at her weird. "Italians are from the country called Italy. Most are known from their tan skin, dark hair, and beauty marks." she explained to them._

"_They are also good cooks, how about you cook from now on and I'll go run in front of bullets from now on?" Garder laughed from the kitchen._

"_I never learned how to cook, you don't want me behind the stove." she called back to him with a laugh of her own._

He wanted to go to her, but the water turned on and he shied away from it.

"You can join me if you want." she told him as the hot water poured over her head, flattening her hair, running down her curves.

"That's evil, you know I hate water." he said and leaned against the sink.

"No one ever said I was a good person, just that I can get the job done." she smirked at him and grabbed her bottle of strawberry shampoo.

"So why is the mirror broken?" he asked as he watched her scrub the soap into her hair. Arsha, he loved her hair.

She didn't look over at him, actually turned away to get her head out of the main jet of the water. "I got mad," she said simple. The suds ran down the middle of her back and over her plumb ass.

His breathing deepened and he gripped the edge of the sink. "About what?" he asked, trying to distract himself from the growing tension in his pants.

"Just… stress." she said and ran her soapy hands down her body, her hands running along her hips.

He couldn't take it. He slid his jacket off and undid his pants, letting them drop to the floor. He stepped out of them and came up behind Shepard, his lips at her neck, her wet body against his.

"I thought you hated water." she commented and looked over her shoulder at him.

He locked lips with her and pinned her against the bathroom wall. "Some things are worth a bit of discomfort." he purred against her lips and ground against her.

Kolyat walked back out of the elevator and into Shepard's cabin. He was about to go into the bathroom, figuring Shepard might still be sick when he heard her let out a cry. His first thought that she was hurt, but then he heard his father's growl and Shepard's breathless voice calling out his name. 'Ew… ew, ew,ew.' he thought as he realized they were having sex. Sure Shepard was attractive, but his father having sex… ew. He quickly turned and left the cabin as his perfect memory replayed the disturbing noises in his head.

**A/N: And with that I leave you to imagine what they are doing.**


	13. Chapter 13

Thane looked down at his naked lover, asleep on her bed. He really shouldn't have taken her, not when she needed her rest so badly, but there was no denying that he wanted her, needed her. "Sleep well, siha." he told her and slipped out of the cabin and down to the crew deck.

"What's going on?" Thane asked as he saw everyone gathered around a TV screen, even Joker was down from the bridge.

"Cerberus sent us some sort of video, we were just about to watch it." Joker informed him.

"Should I retrieve the commander?" he asked, his hands behind his back.

"No, let her sleep, hell knows she needs it." Garrus answered and they hit play.

"_Hello Normandy Crew, I thought you should know the woman you are blindly following." the Illusive man said, smoking his cigarette._

_His image cut to black and another took its place. The film was a bit static, but you could see everything. There was a woman standing in the middle of a street, blood was splattered all over her. Bodies laid scattered around her in a pile, her only weapon was a metal pipe. It was clear by the bandanas on all the bodies' arms that they were with some sort of gang._

"_Who is that woman?" a cop called, holding a shaking gun towards her._

_Another cop scanned her and the omni-tool answered the question. "Katida Shepard, age sixteen."_

They all looked shocked, this woman looked nothing like their commander. She had blonde hair while Shepard had dark red, she had piercings all up her ear, ranging from studs to hoops to dangles.

"_Drop the weapon and get on the ground or we will shoot." the first cop said and the woman grinned widely. She was fast, faster than the man had expected, and the next second the pipe was lodged in a dent in his head. The force knocked him into the cop car with the camera in it._

_This woman, Shepard, walked over to the cop car, and ripped out the camera. It still worked and she grinned into it. She had bright green eyes, Shepard's bright green eyes._

'Siha…' Thane thought as he watched. This couldn't be his Shepard, she was too kind, too caring, she would never hurt innocents.

"_Fucking cops, don't interfere with matters that aren't yours." she said into the camera. She went up to the woman that had scanned her and forced her mouth open and shoved the camera down her throat, making her choke on it to death. The camera view switched to another cop car, showing Shepard standing over the dead body._

"_Take her down," the rest of the cops shouted and she smirked and picked up the pistol off the woman. She shot the man that had ordered them, straight in the face. With pistol in one hand and the pipe in the other, she walked down the street, laughing like a mad woman._

The screen went black and everyone stared at the screen shocked.

"Everyone having fun?" Shepard's voice asked from behind them, making them all jump.

"Shepard… was that really you?" Kolyat asked what the rest of them wanted to.

She smiled at him. "Cerberus makes up so many stories, you honestly believe I could do something like that? Come on, I'm not even blonde." she assured them before she turned and left for elevator.

Thane followed her. "How did you know she was blonde? You didn't show up till after the video." he asked her quietly.

She gave him a sideways glance. "I knew her," she said simply as the elevator slid shut.

"She was you," he stated, it wasn't a question, he knew the answer.

She didn't answer.

"Siha," he said and took her hand in his.

"Drop it, Thane," she told him, her eyes a bit darker.

He sighed, "For now, siha," he agreed and kissed her hand. "I love you."

She smiled and leaned into him. "I love you too."

"You need to sleep," he told her and hit the button for the cabin. She nodded, willingly allowing him to make her go back to bed.

"Hold me?" she asked as she lay down.

"As you wish," he said and lay down by her and held her close.

She smiled and nuzzled into him, "Thank you, you help keep the nightmares away." she told him and dozed off into sleep.

He smiled and held her close. They stayed like for a little over an hour before Joker called for her over the com. "She really needs to sleep." he told Joker, wanting this to be delayed, not wanting his siha to go risk her life once again, not when she was so weak.

"And the geth need to go byebye, not my choice, Thane." the cripple told him.

"It's alright, Thane." Shepard assured him and sat up, groggy and clearly still in desperate need of sleep. She pulled out her bottle of energy boosters and popped three in her mouth and swallowed.

Thane looked at her worried. He had noticed her taking more and more of those pills in the past week, and it worried him. "Let me come with you?" he asked, wanting to protect her.

She shook her head, "You need to rest from the last mission." she told him and slid off the bed. "I'm taking James and Tali."

Thane tensed and sat up. He didn't want James or Kaiden around her, not after they hounded her for a week. "Siha, I must insist you have a long range to help you—"

"I am long range, Tali's drones can help with long range too, James will take on the midrange." she assured him. "I'll be fine, Thane, I'm Commander fucking Shepard, remember?"

He hugged her from behind. "You are also mortal, you can't do everything, siha, no matter how badly the galaxy wants to believe you can."

She turned in his arms and hugged him, "I'll be back, and then I will sleep and rest all you want, okay?" she promised him.

He sighed, knowing he wasn't going to win this. "Alright, may Ashara protect you."

She smiled and kissed his nose. "I will be back, love, I promise." And with that she left for the armory to suit up. "Joker, I'm on my way." she told him.

Suited up in her heavy armor, newly polished thanks to Kolyat delivering it to the armor, she stood in the cargo, looking at Tali and James. "This is a pretty simple mission, get in, take down the gun." she told her team. "James, you are going to be mid-range, I will be long-range, Tali, you're drones will be short-range." she instructed and they nodded. She smiled at them and pulled her helmet on. "You ready to walk on your home world, Tali?" she asked her, and she could swear she saw her smile under her helmet as she nodded.

"Let's do this shit." she told them and they got into the Kodiak.

Thane watched her get in and gripped his hands behind his back. 'Please keep her safe… don't take her from me.' he thought. For some reason this mission was putting him on edge.

When they touched down Shepard looked over at Tali who was holding her hands up, her fingers creating a small box away from her face. "The window will go right here." she said with a sigh.

"Buying a house?" Shepard asked and came up behind her.

Tali nodded. "You will have to do the same soon too, you know." she said, which confused the commander.

"The Normandy is my home."

"Don't you want a little house, Shepard? Some place with a nice yard for your kids to play in?"

She blushed, Tali actually made the great Commander Shepard blush. "What are you talking about? I don't have any kids, the closest thing I have to that is an eighteen year old drell."

"Does Thane not want a child with you?"

"N-no… he does…" Shepard said, stuttering now. Great, now she was stuttering.

"But you don't want his children?"

Thane was listening from to the conversation from the bridge, his heart beating faster, worried about her answer. He had wanted a child with her for years, back before the collectors when he realized that he loved her. He had dreamt of it. The two of them in a small house, sitting on the front porch, her large with his child while Kolyat played with his younger siblings in the yard. It was cheesy, but he wanted it, he wanted that life.

Shepard looked down. "Tali… I…" her voice was shaking a bit. "I can't have his child… there has never been a record of a human and a drell having a child, all of them have miscarried within the first trimester."

Thane's breath stopped for the slightest second. They couldn't have children? Why hadn't she told him? As he thought it over, let the words sink in, she sort of did. He had asked her if they should be using protection when they first started having sex together, but she had told him not to worry about it. He assumed she was on the pill or something, not that he could never give her a child.

Joker looked back at him, "You okay, Thane?" he asked.

The assassin didn't answer, instead he turned and left the bridge. He went down to the crew deck, planning on sitting in the observatory and meditating as he and Samara used to do, but when he opened the door Kaiden was already in there.

He turned around when the door opened and looked at Thane. "Oh hey, Thane right?"

Thane nodded and moved to stand by the window, his hands behind his back and he stood up straight. The habit was originally started to make himself look taller, which he needed right now since Kaiden was taller than him.

"So… um… you're back with the commander, right?" Kaiden asked and looked back out the window.

"That is correct." Thane said without looking at him.

"Yeah… me and her used to be… well I don't know if it was serious, but we used to… sleep together." This was getting awkward, but it was the only real thing they had in common.

"I am aware." Thane said, still not looking at him.

"Right," Kaiden said and rubbed the back of his head. "So… look, let me just warn you, she is a bit of a whore, likes to flirt a lot."

Thane's arms tensed and he snapped. This man who was hounding Shepard for a week despite her constant denying of him was calling her the whore? He had watched Kaiden's eyes when Shepard came into the room, they were never on her face, they were on her breasts, or her butt, and this man had the nerve to call her a whore. He punched Kaiden in the face, breaking his nose.

Kaiden stumbled backwards, holding his nose as blood seeped through his fingers.

"Don't you ever insult Shepard." Thane growled and all the worry, and the anger, and the pent up stressed just came out, using Kaiden as an outlet.

When he called back down he took the badly bleeding man into the med-bay.

"What happened? Chakwas asked shocked. Kaiden's nose was clearly broken and crooked, his right eye was swollen shut, his lip was busted open, and his splotches upper half was starting to darken into various shades of blacks, purples, and blues. He had four broken ribs, three cracked, and more bruised, and his left arm had been pulled clear out of socket.

"He… spiked my anger." Thane admitted as he looked worriedly down at the man. He hadn't meant to hurt him that bad, humans were so fragile. His siha was fragile and she was out there fighting without him.

Chakwas looked over at him as she held a cloth over Kaiden's nose and was trying to reset it. "How did he manage to do that? You are one of the most in control of their emotions person I've ever seen."

"He called Shepard a whore."

Kaiden let out a cry as his nose was roughly snapped back into place. "What?" she asked Thane shocked and glared down at Kaiden. "That was a long time ago." she told the injured human.

Thane looked at her puzzlingly. "What?" he asked.

Chakwas realized her slip and bit her lip. "I have access to Shepard's medical files, but I cannot share them with you, doctor patient confidentiality." she said, refusing to talk about it.

"You know about her past, don't you? Before she joined the military," Thane said, intertied. When he had first joined Shepard he had done background checks on her and something wasn't right. The records went back to when she joined the military and then all the rest were missing, as if she didn't exist before that. Like she appeared out of thin air. No birth record, nothing.

Chakwas nodded, "I can't say anymore, its classified." she said stubbornly.

Thane left the med-bay with a question burning in his mind. Who was Katida Shepard?

**A/N: You can thank Amperson for this chapter, she helped me figure out how I wanted to play this out and I have to say I really like this chapter. So now you know my Shep's first name, Katida, or Kat for short, you also get a snip from her past, got to see Thane become victim to misdirected rage, oh and you are stuck thinking on that question, who is Katida Shepard? Dadadadon!**


	14. Chapter 14

Curiosity drove Thane up to Kat's cabin and to her terminal. He typed in her password and frowned when it was denied. He recalled his perfect memory to one where she had signed into her terminal and mimicked the keys she pressed. drellsRsexy. He smirked at this, she was probably hoping that he would figure it out, just to make him smile, she was always doing little things like that to see him smile.

The terminal loaded and he opened up her pictures, going to a folder that was titled Family. He didn't have to scan far to know it was of her crew, her teammates. They were family to her. He clicked out of it and pulled up the specter database and ran a search on her. Finding it was easy, but again it only went back to when she joined the military. Everything beforehand was just… gone. His eyes narrowed, she couldn't of had just appeared. There was something that someone was hiding, but he didn't think it was Shepard, she would never hide something from him.

He used her clearance through her terminal to search deeper into her past. It took him over an hour, but he finally came up with something.

Name: Katida Skye Shepard

Date of Birth: October 17, 2156

Location: New York City, New York, United States of America, Earth

Sex: Female

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Green

Just as he went to scroll down the page EDI's face appeared on the screen. "Mr. Krios, I must warn you, those files are highly classified, reading them is a crime in human government." she warned and paused. "Also, Commander Shepard has returned and is down in the med-bay, she was injured on the mission."

Thane was up in an instant and got down to the crew deck as fast as he could. When the elevator opened he was greeted with a scream. He ran into the med-bay and his breath caught with what he saw.

Shepard was on one of the examination tables, being held down by Garrus, Kolyat, James, and Kaiden, each one on a limb. Her torso was clad only in her bra so Dr. Chakwas could tend to her wound.

The skin from the beginning of her pants up to her bra was torn apart in blood and burnt flesh.

"What happened?" Thane asked as he moved up beside his son and helped retain the strong woman.

"She got shot by a prime, ripped right through her armor." James answered and winced as Shepard screamed again as Chakwas ran water over the wound.

Thane looked down at the woman he loved, feeling helpless. "I should have gone with her." he said firmly, feeling anger towards James for not protecting her.

"Bite on this," Chakwas snapped at the commander and shoved a rag into her mouth. "This is going to hurt a bit." she warned before sticking in a long needle into the wound and injected a purple liquid.

Shepard arched off the table in pain and screamed against the rag, tears brimming in her eyes.

"What was that?" Kolyat asked.

"A clotting agent, it should slow her from bleeding out, some of her organs got damaged from the shot." Chakwas said and pulled out a pair of forceps. Slowly she started to peel back the dead burn flesh.

Shepard had stopped screaming now, forcing herself not to utter a sound as the dead flesh was snipped away.

Chakwas injected her with another liquid, this one green, and explained to Kolyat that it was to help with her broken ribs, coating them and helping them merge back together. Finally Chakwas rubbed a salve onto the wound to help promote skin regrowth and then declared her stable. The five men gladly let go of Shepard's limbs. "Siha," Thane said and brushed his love's face.

She reached one hand up and pulled out the rag. "Hey… told ya I'd come back." she said with a slight smile.

He shook his head and kissed her forehead. "Next time, come back unharmed." he said against her skin.

"I'll try." she muttered and slipped into sleep.

"What happened?" he asked Tali.

Tali looked at James for a second before she answered. "Well we here at the gun, working on disabling it, and geth showed up. I was trying to hack the gun's security systems while James and Shepard kept the geth at bay and she got shot by a prime."

Thane nodded, thinking of this thoughtfully. "And what about the part you aren't telling me?" he asked calmly.

"Well…" Tali said, not wanting to say.

"Before the geth showed up I asked Shepard why she was with you, tried to get her to see reason that she deserves better. She deserves someone who can relate to her, someone who is her own species, hell, someone who can at least give her a child." James stepped in.

Thane looked at him for a long moment. "I see, and that distracted her and she was shot?" he asked.

"No, then she started yelling at me, and the geth showed up, and a prime shot at me, and she jumped in the way." James corrected.

Thane nodded and looked down at Shepard. "Doctor, could I take her up to her room? It is more comfortable than in here." he asked.

"Sure, just make sure she gets some rest this time." Chakwas said and moved to sit by her terminal.

Thane picked Shepard up and left the med-bay to the elevator. James was right, she did deserve someone better than him, someone who was her species and could give her a child, but he was selfish and could not let her go.

He set her down in her bed and pulled the blankets up over her, then sat down beside her. He watched her sleep as he let himself slip into memories.

"_Does Thane not want a child with you?"Tali's voice can be heard over the com._

"_N-no… he does…" Siha stuttered. Something was wrong._

"_But you don't want his children?"_

_I tense slightly, leaning towards the speaker relaying their voices to us on the bridge. My heart quickens a beat, worried about her answer. Images of my dreams fill my mind, the two of us in a small house, sitting on the front porch, her large with my child while Kolyat played with his younger siblings in the yard. It would be perfect, we would be a family._

_It was several moments before Shepard replied. "Tali… I…" her voice shook. "I can't have his child…" my heart feels like it has stopped "there has never been a record of a human and a drell having a child," I'm not listening anymore. We couldn't have a child? The dream of the little house, with the front porch, the children running around in the front yard, all of it just crumbled before my eyes._

_My breath hitched for the slightest second, the only physical recognition I wasn't able to hold back. We couldn't have children. Her words from before made sense now. I had asked her if we should be using protection when we first started having sex together, but she had told me not to worry about it. I assumed she was on some sort of birth control, not that I could never give her a child._

He closed his eyes and a tear slid down his cheek. Maybe she had been right when she had tried to break it off. Maybe she had wanted to be with someone that was human, to have a family with them. Maybe James was correct.

"Th-Thane…" she muttered sleepily and sat up. She cringed as her mid-section bent from the moment.

"Siha," he said and pushed her shoulders back down. "Lay still, you are hurt." he told her gently.

She rested up and wiped a tear from his cheek. "You were speaking your memories out loud." she told him.

He closed his eyes, "Sorry," he muttered before looking at her again.

She shook her head. "Don't be, if something in on your mind then you should tell me."

He nodded and laid down beside her so she would stop trying to get up. "We can't have a child." he stated.

She nodded, "I didn't know you were listening." she said softly and snuggled up against him.

"Is that why you left? Because you wanted someone who could give you a family?"

Shepard looked up at him. "No, of course not," she assured him. "I left because all I do is draw attention to those I love and they get hurt… I thought it would be better if we weren't together and then you'd be safer. But I'm selfish, I can't be without you."

He nodded and held her close.

"Besides, I do have a family, I have you and Kolyat, that's all I need." she said and kissed the drell's red cheek.

He smiled, "You see Kolyat as your son?"

"Of course, I would do anything for him, just like I'd do anything for you." she nuzzled his red neck, making him growl lowly in pleasure. "And just because there isn't a record of a half drell-half human, doesn't mean we can't try." she kissed his neck. "And try." she kissed a bit lower, heading down to where the red went back to green. "And try." she bit him right before the edge of the red and he groaned. She knew that he loved when she did that. "We have to get it right sooner or later." she breathed against the wet scales.

"Siha… you need to rest," he purred, unable to keep the lust out of his voice. This woman was going to be the death of him. "And you are hurt."

She rolled onto her side with a wince wrapped her legs around his possessively. "Then I will seduce you when I wake up, okay? Before the next mission. Legion has pinpointed the geth fighter ship thing… I don't know, I'm too tired to think." she slurred and went to kiss his cheek again, but he turned his head and caught her lips with his.

"Sleep, I'll be here when you awaken." he told her and she smiled as sleep consumed her again. Maybe this time she could sleep more than a few hours.

Shepard rolled away from her lover and slowly opened her eyes. She jumped when she saw Legion standing directly over her. "Shepard Commander, we are ready to take out the server for the geth fighters." he said and she punched him in the… um… face.

"Damn it, Legion, you don't sneak up on people when they are sleeping." she snapped at him and sat up, wincing slightly from the wound. It was healed for the most part, but would be sore for a few days.

Legion was sent back a few feet from the blow. "We apologize." he said after a moment.

"It's okay, what are you doing here anyways, how did you get in, and without Thane waking up." she asked as she rubbed her eyes. The drell was a very light sleeper.

"Oh he woke me up," Thane's voice muffled from the pillow. "I just don't care."

"Fuck you." she spat at him and stood up to get dressed for the day, unbothered by Legion watching her change.

"I believe humans have a saying for that… 'Don't threaten me with a good time.' Did I get that correct?" Thane said and the sleepy drell looked at her from under the pillow, watching as she slipped her pants and panties off and pulled on a pair of black lace bikini cut ones. He let out a low purr, too low for her to hear. Those were his favorite and she knew it.

"Yes," she told him as she pulled on her black pants and matching long sleeve shirt. She also grabbed a thick bullet proof vest and pulled it over her chest. "Look, Thane, I'm being safe, that way tonight it won't be a threat." She moved and sat down beside him and removed the pillow. "It will be a promise." she said lustfully and leaned down to give him a kiss.

Their lips moved together, their teeth nipping at the tender flesh, tongues just starting to slide into each other's mouths when Legion grabbed the commander and carried her out of the room. "We will return the commander after the mission." he told Thane before disappearing into the elevator.

He smirked at the annoyed look on her face. "Later, love, I promise." he promised, which made her smile and wink at him. He looked down at the tent under the sheet. Yep, that woman was going to be the death of him.

The mission went well, no one injured, no one killed, and Shepard was in a lot better of a mood because of it. "Finally I come back without bullet wounds." she said to her teammates, who gave a short laugh. "Garder, you got anything to eat? I'm starving." she asked the cook as she went into the kitchen area. She was so glad that the cook had rejoined her grew after the collectors.

"Not unless you want to plunge the toilet in the men's bathroom." he said and pointed the plunger at her.

"Sure," she said and grabbed it. "Kolyat, go plunge the toilet." she said and threw it at him, hitting him in the head.

He rubbed the side of his temple. "Why?" he whined, not really wanting to deal with the bathroom. He used it as rarely as he could, mostly by going upstairs and using Shepard's.

"Because you aren't on missions so you have to pull your weight in another way." Shepard told him, not looking at him, but at the food Garder was dishing out onto her plate. It was a simple yellow rice with a meat that tasted close to pork.

"Just go do it, boy, Shepard hasn't eaten in two days." Garder waved him off and the drell sulked towards the bathroom, defeated.

"I win," Shepard said as she took the large helping to the table and started devouring it. "Mmm, I missed food." she said as the warmth reached her stomach.

"Why haven't you eaten?" Thane asked as he sat down beside her.

She pulled out the bottle of energy boosters. "Side effect is they stop you from being hungry, it actually helps in the battle field, but living off of them makes it a pain in the ass." she said as Thane took the bottle and read the label.

"Side effects may include: disrupted sleeping patterns, mood swings, loss of appetite, sudden drowsiness, mild vomiting, dizziness upon standing, loss of memory, hair loss, brittle fingernails, sore joints, mouth sores…" he stopped, though the list went on. "Why are you taking these?" he asked.

She took the bottle back and slipped it into her pocket. "I need to be awake more often then I normally would be able to handle, so they help give me the boost I need to do what's needed to save the galaxy." she told him.

He frowned. Chakwas was correct, this wasn't fair to her, but she was the only one who could do this, if she couldn't, who could? Who would? She was giving up everything from her health to her friends for this flicker of hope that they might make it through this. While everyone was with their families, spending time together at the end, she was off, pushing herself beyond mortal limits, to save all of their lives so they could live till tomorrow.

He leaned close to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. "You are strong, siha." he told her. Whoever this woman had been, whoever Katida Skye Shepard had been, she was Commander Shepard now, savior of the galaxy, and his siha. He would follow this woman into hell if he must.

**A/N: This chapter is quiet touching… Now all that is left on Rannoch is to save the admiral, then kill the reaper, then off to the next helpless case. Will Shepard's mental health last? Will Thane ever see that promised fulfilled? Will Legion sell the video recording of Shepard changing to Fornax?**

**To be continued…**


	15. Chapter 15

Shepard ate twice as much as anyone else that night. "Damn, it feels good to be full of something other than holes for once." she said as she leaned back against Thane, straddling the bench, and rubbed her extended stomach.

He smiled down at her. "Now you need to rest." he told her and squeezed her hand.

She looked up at him with that look, the look she always gave him when he wasn't going to like what she had to say. "Well…" she started.

"No, not another mission so soon, you are already at your limit." he cut her off.

She sighed and kissed his forehead. "Not my choice, if it was I'd have you up in my cabin right now." she told him as she got up. "Tali, you stay here and recuperate, Liara and Kolyat, you two are up." she told them, making Thane stand abruptly.

"No," he snapped at her, and snatched the bottle out of her hands as she was about to take another dose of those pills.

"Thane—"

"It's bad enough that you are killing yourself with how hard you are pushing, but you are trying to live off these pills, and you want to take my son out there too?" he said and slammed the bottle down on the table. "I can't stop you from going, I know that, or else I would have a long time ago, but I will not let you put my son in danger. If I were to lose you… Siha, it would kill me, but if I were to lose both of you…" he trembled slightly.

Shepard moved and rubbed his back. "Thane, it is just a simple recon mission, we are just picking up the survivors from the crash. We won't even step out of the Kodiak." she said kindly, ignoring her crew staring at her and whispering.

Thane looked at her and he sighed, "Let me go instead of Kolyat, he needs more training." he said, calming down.

Shepard sighed and leaned against the drell. "I was picking him so he could get some field experience, you know, shoot something that is actually moving to kill it." she told him and pressed her lips up against were his ear was. "And I wanted to ease him into killing. Geth don't bleed, they aren't organics, it would be the easiest thing for him to learn from." she whispered against his ear. "To have to shoot something breathing and with blood flowing through their veins… I don't want him to ever have to do that, but, even if we stop the reapers, that is the type of world we will be living in."

Thane looked at her. "You are right, but I still don't agree." he told her and slacked his grip on the poor bottle.

She nodded. "Liara, you stay here, rest up for the mission tomorrow, I'll take Thane and Kolyat with me." she called to the crew, and felt her lover's muscles relax a great deal.

Twenty minutes later they had Kolyat suited up in a thick light armor not too different from his father's only it was blue and white. Shepard clicked her helmet into place as they all stepped into the Kodiak.

"Alright, this is a simple mission. I will be on the turret, Kolyat you will be on my right and Thane on my left, shoot down any geth that I might miss." she told them and gripped the young drell's shoulder. He was shaking. "You will do fine, son." she told him as they took off.

Kolyat nodded. He had seen other military call those younger than them son before, so it didn't surprise him, but Thane's lips twitched upward just a hair, he knew Shepard meant it.

Shepard stepped away from them to try and make contact with the people they were rescuing.

Thane sat down next to his son, "Kolyat, do you not want to do this?" he asked his son.

Kolyat shook his head. "I want to be useful." he said firmly. "On the ship, everyone expects me to be like you, or like Shepard."

"But is it what you want?"

Kolyat thought about it for a long moment before he nodded, "I want to be someone who you can be proud of, someone who is strong, who can live up to the Krios legacy, especially if we had Shepard to it. I mean at that point it will be hopeless for me to try, but… I want to make you two proud, I want to make mother proud. I don't want to sit back and watch the reapers destroy my chance to find someone like you have found Shepard, dad."

Thane nodded and gave his son a one arm hug. "Kat Krios… it has a nice ring to it." he said with a smirk and his son smiled back at him.

"There is a problem though," Kolyat pointed out.

"Oh?" Thane asked and looked down at his son.

"Well Bailey told me about how humans mate to each other through rings on their second to last finger, and well, ours are fused together." he explained.

Thane looked down at his hands. That was strange compared to what drell did for marriage. It was a private matter between two individuals. When they decided to marry they prayed to Amonkira to give thanks that they found one another, then to Arashu to ask for her blessing on their unity and ask for her to watch over and protect the other. This was all done at a shrine with a priest present who then acknowledged their unity and it was put into the records. "That might be a bit of a problem, but no more so than others we have faced." he assured his son.

"Problems? You mean like the rash she used to get?" Kolyat asked, still a curious child.

Thane looked at him a little shocked and nodded. "Shepard told you?"

"Yes, while you were in a coma." he nodded.

"Yes, that was a problem we faced, along with the hallucinations." Thane told him and when Kolyat looked confused he explained. "When humans have oral contact with a drell it causes hallucinations. The first time Shepard and I French kissed" he chuckled at Kolyat's face "she asked me how I turned purple." That made Kolyat laugh and look at the commander, who was starting to get annoyed at whoever was on the other end.

"Damn it, we need you alive, now give me your damn coordinates. If we don't save you then the fleet might fall and all the people you are trying to save with your suicidal thoughts will die anyways." she snapped at whoever it was. "Thanks you." she said after a moment of silence. "You get that, Steve?" she asked the pilot, who gave her a thumbs up. "Alright, take us in." she ordered and they started to descend. She turned to the drell. "Bonding time is up, time to nut up or shut up, bitches." she said with a grin and shoved a clip into the turret.

Kolyat looked at Thane funny at how Shepard was acting. This was different from her normal closed off behavior.

Thane chuckled and moved into place. "She likes to shoot things to relax." he told his son who took up the opposite side.

"Getting into range in five, four, three," Kolyat gripped his gun as Steve counted down. "Two, one."

Thane opened the door and Shepard took aim, taking out three before Kolyat understood was what happening.

It was going pretty smoothly, considering that they couldn't land were the damn quarrian was, having to instead cut a path through the geth for him to run to a more suitable position. A geth sniper pointed at the Kodiak. Thane didn't see him, taking out the geth rocket troopers ahead. Kolyat saw him though and fired, hitting the machine dead in the chest. He felt proud of himself. Then he heard a thud and turned to see Shepard on the ground. The geth had gotten off a shot before Kolyat had taken him down.

"Siha," Thane said worried, but he never stopped shooting.

"I'm fine," she said and shakingly stood to her feet. "Damn… my ears are ringing." she muttered. Her helmet was cracked, revealing her left eye. She took it off and moved back to the turret. "Nice, shot, Kolyat." she told him and started shooting again.

Kolyat looked at her amazed, she had just been shot in the head, and she was alive and fighting. Sure she had been wearing a helmet, but the force that must have taken her to the ground was nothing to turn your nose up at.

The rest of the mission went without a hitch. They got the admiral back onto the Normandy without anyone else getting wounded.

Shepard hopped out of the Kodiak and patted Kolyat on the shoulder. "You did great, Garrus has really been improving your aim." she told him and gave him a hug. "You are your father's son." She let him go and turned to Thane. "Speaking of which…" Thane leaned down and kissed her like they both wanted. "Now how's about that promise?" she asked with a coy grin and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"Of course, siha." he replied and held her close to him.

Kolyat watched them before walking off with a shudder, the memory of hearing them in the shower coming back.

When they made it into the elevator Thane slid his hands down the back of Kat's pants, making her shiver from his cold skin. "You can be such a tease, wearing my favorite pair." he said against her ear as he fiddled with her lace panties.

"I thought you hated me in them, you throw them off so very fast whenever I wear them." she teased and leaned into him. Her soft chest pushing against his hard toned one.

He growled and caught her lips in his. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

She chuckled into the kiss.

"What is so funny?" he asked and broke the kiss.

"Nothing, nothing," Shepard said and looked down at him. "You just make me feel like I'm a horny teenager again." she commented before kissing him hungrily.

He smiled and pinned her against the door, grinding against her. She moaned and wrapped her arms tight around his neck as they kissed again, their tongues fighting for dominance. The door opened into the hallway before her cabin and they fell to the ground, never breaking the kiss.

"Are you alright?" he asked her when they couldn't deny the need of air anymore.

She nodded and nipped his bottom lip.

He smiled and gathered her into his arms and went into her cabin. "EDI, please do not let us be disturbed unless of emergency." he told the AI.

"Yes, Mr. Krios." her voice said. "Logging you out, Shepard."

Thane dropped Shepard down on the bed and looked down at her in her all black outfit. She smirked and stood up in front of him and pulled the shirt over her head, teasingly slow. He watched her, letting her tease him, he'd get her later for it.

When the shirt hit the floor Shepard reached behind her and unclipped her bra. 'Damn… my joints are sore.' she thought to herself, but didn't let it show. The bra straps slid from her shoulders and then down to join her shirt. She looked up at Thane, surprised he hadn't jumped her yet. She took a step towards him and unclipped the latches on his jacket and slid it off his shoulders, running her hands down his strong arms and shuddered. She loved his body, loved the muscles, how they rippled under his scaly skin. Thane took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of her arousal increasing, but he still restrained himself from taking her. It was his turn to tease now.

She undid his pants and pushed them down so they fell around his ankles and he stepped out of them for her, now standing completely naked in front of her. She took a step back to look him over and gave a slight frown. He wasn't hard, his penis still safely in its sheath. So he was going to be like that, huh? Thane had good control over his body and if he wanted to bad enough could resist his own arousal… to a point.

Shepard kneeled down in front of him and kissed the slit in his scales where his dick would appear from, so well blended if you didn't know where to look you wouldn't find it. She couldn't hear his growl, it being too low for humans, but she felt the vibration through his body. The tip of the dark pink, just a few shades lighter than the skin on his neck, peeked out of the slit. She licked it and his hands moved to her hair, running his fingers through it. She smiled, he always had a thing for her hair. Besides quarrians, humans were the only creatures with hair, and quarrians always wore suits so most people thought humans were the only one, she only knew quarrians had hair because Tali told her. She shook off her wandering thoughts and focused on the drell in front of her. She set her hands on his hips, making sure he didn't escape, and licked the tip, sucking on it as more and more appeared. When it hit the back of her throat she swallowed and took the rest of him in her mouth too. It was times like this she was glad for her past, that she could give this man every bit of pleasure that she could.

Thane growled, louder this time. They hardly ever did this. Whatever it was that caused humans hallucinations in his saliva was highly concentrated in his cum. A shame, because it felt amazing for her lips to be around him, her teeth grazing the tender flesh as she bobbed her head. He and Irikah hadn't ever done this either. It was actually one of the things he read about human sex he hadn't believed, until Shepard did it to him. Now he didn't know why it was primarily a human thing, it felt amazing.

Memories of Irikah flashed into his mind and he looked down at Shepard guilty and pushed her away.

She looked up at him confused. "Everything okay?" she asked.

He pulled her onto her feet and hugged her. "I love you, siha, and I feel like I have just betrayed you." he said into her hair.

Shepard stood there for a moment. "You were thinking of Irikah?" she asked and felt him nod. She smiled and hugged him. "Hey… look at me." He hesitated and pulled back, sadness deeply engraved on his face. "I know you love me, and I know you love Irikah, I can never replace her, and I don't want to. What you two had was something beautiful." She stroked his cheek with her hand. "I love you, Thane. It does make me sad that someone else will always have a grip on your heart, but I know it won't hinder you in loving me."

He looked down at her and smiled kindly. This woman was amazing. She was far more than he deserved, but he took her anyway, and as long as he drew breath he would never let her go. "Siha…" he said and leaned down to kiss her.

She stopped him for a second. "Just don't start moaning her name instead of mine, okay? That will get you slapped." she warned lightheartedly.

He grinned and held her against him. "You needn't worry, my love." he assured her and pinned her down to the bed. He slid off her pants and spread her legs. That night they took their time, each just enjoying the feel of each other. The feel of the other's skin on their own, the different sounds they made when the other moved just right. All of it was so… unreal, that two so differently could feel for each other what they did.

"Thane…" Shepard muttered in a sleep slurred voice.

He smiled at the woman resting half against, half on top of his body, enjoying the contrast in the color of their bodies.

She muttered something he couldn't understand, sleep pulling her further and further under.

"What did you say?" he asked, but she didn't answer, already out like a light. He chuckled and held her close, happy she was finally getting some well needed rest.

**A/N: Soo apparently I'm a horrible writer, or at least that's what my English professor says. I got a 20 out of 150 points on the last essay. The big problem is I don't have any idea how he wants me to correct what I had gotten wrong, and I asked him and he talked himself into a circle until he was back to the beginning and then shoved me away and told me to go find someone else to explain it… Yeah… Probably going to fail this course…**

**Just a reminder, I do not own Mass Effect, but I do own my particular Shepard and my twists in the plotline.**


	16. Chapter 16

Shepard tossed in her sleep, clinging to the sheets, panting heavily. "You will never be able to save them." Harbinger's voice echoed in her head as she snapped awake. She rolled her head over and looked at Thane, still asleep beside her. He was on his stomach, his left arm draped over her, and his head turned away. She smiled and held back a little laugh from the snoring like noise he was making. It didn't sound like when a human snored, it was raspier and came out more like a nose whistle.

'He is living proof that you are wrong,' she told the echo. 'I can save them, and I will.' She slid out of the bed and walked to the bathroom, feeling like she needed a shower. 'I wish there was a bath, actually.' she thought as she let the water heat up. 'Next stop at the Citadel I'm renting a hotel room just for the damn bathtub.' She stood under the hot water for a long time, letting the heat work into her muscles, unclenching her sore muscles and joints. The pills were really starting to get to her. Getting shot last night was fuzzy, but that might have been because it was to the head. Her joints were killing her. And for once she woke up before Thane, that never happened, she slept like the dead. It was a full scale mission to get her out of bed before ten standard time, but here she was at seven am standing in the shower.

When the water ran cold she picked up her shampoo and scrapped it into her scalp. Then she rinsed and stepped out of the shower. Thane was still asleep and she smiled as she watched him from her terminal.

She smiled and grabbed a bottle of a special moisturizer from her desk drawer and moved to sit down by him. Since she was up anyways she might as well use that time to spoil him. She squeezed a handful of the moisturizer onto her palm and began to rub it into his back.

He purred and woke up as she worked it into his scaly skin. Bits of old scales flaked off as she went. Drells shed their skin like other reptiles, but they couldn't reach their backs very well so it tended to collect up and cause them discomfort. When she had found that out she had ordered a moisturizer that would help him shed the skin from the hanar's home world.

"You're up early." he commented and rolled over when she was done with his back and started on his chest. He didn't really need it here, but it felt good none the less.

"Couldn't sleep, anxious about the mission." she said and leaned down to give him a kiss, which he happily returned. She rubbed her hands down his chest, working the liquid into his scales. She trailed it down to his abdomen before she stopped.

"Siha," he said and pulled her down to lay beside him. "It will be fine, we won't fail the mission." he assured her.

"There isn't a we, you came on the last one, you stay here." she muttered sourly without looking at him.

"Siha…"

"No, you just sit on the ship and enjoy not being itchy. Maybe you can do Kolyat's back, it's probably bothering him." she cut him off and wormed her way out of his arms. "I'm going to go get breakfast, you coming?" she asked as she pulled on a pair of plaid blue shorts, her bra, and a white beater.

He nodded and pulled on a pair of sweat pants. They walked to the elevator and then the mess hall hand in hand.

The crew was already up and eating. It was almost nine am, only about an hour till the mission.

They all stopped and stared at Shepard, shocked that their morning hating commander was up and not looking like she needed to drink the galaxy dry of coffee.

She pulled out the bottle of pills and pointed to the side effects. "Disrupted sleeping patterns, get over it." she told them and went to go get a plate of food.

Thane narrowed his eyes when he saw she still had the pills, he thought he had gotten rid on those on the last mission.

"Looking good Mr. Krios," Traynor said with a slight blush.

Thane rarely went around in anything over than his normal outfit, so the comments were expected. He scanned the crowd for his son, and found him surrounded by some of the female crew members who were tracing the markings on his bare upper torso, only wearing sweat pants too. He seemed to like the attention, well he was a teenager and they were girls, no matter what species it was still nice to be noticed, well maybe not by krogans… Thane shuddered at the thought. Or vorcha, yep that made him want to puke.

Shepard came back with a plate of eggs and bacon for her and a flayed fish for him. He smiled and took the plate from her. "Thank you, siha." he told her and they sat down with the crew.

He offered some of his meal to her to try, expecting her to turn it down, she hated fish, but she took the bite off his fork and licked her lips, seeing if she liked the taste. After a moment she went back to her own food. It shocked him that she had even tried it, normally she wouldn't go anywhere near seafood, or half of the other foods drell naturally ate.

She looked up at him, "What? I'm trying to me more open minded about the crap you eat." she said and leaned against him.

He shifted his arm and wrapped it around her, pulling her closer to his side. He turned his head and kissed the side of his temple, making her smile and snuggle into him.

None of the crew noticed their exchange. Shepard looked around at the group of people. She knew everyone's name and what they liked, she made sure of it. These people, this mosh-posh group of people, they were her family, now if she could only convince the few who weren't here to rejoin. Jacob, Jack, Grunt… she missed every one of them. Back in the gang people didn't just leave, you stayed a member of the gang for life or left in a box. She wasn't used to people being away and being alive. When she had been away from Thane she had nightmares that he had died. She would send him messages almost daily, but he never replied. It terrified her that he might be gone, but no, the Alliance merely blocked all incoming and outgoing messages, she punched a c-sec officer for that. He was about to throw her in jail before she told him she was a specter and he started tripping over himself to apologize for trying to cuff her. She told him it was alright and she was sorry she punched him.

The moment was too short and was soon over. Laria, Tali, and Shepard all suited up and stood in the Kodiak. Shepard was in her spare armor, since hers had a hole in the helmet. Her normal metallic armor with the dragon appearing to be blood splattered across her chest was temporarily replaced by dark red armor with brighter red neon going down it in a fashionable design.

Thane stood beside her, holding her. "Please be safe," he asked and held her face in his hands.

"I will," she assured him and gave him a kiss. "Love you."

"And I you." he said and stepped back, praying to Arashu for her safety.

The Kodiak door slid close and it lifted off the ground.

Thane watched it leave the cargo bay and turned to leave for the bridge, wanting to know that his siha would be safe.

"Alright, Legion, how do we take this out? The syncing laser needs a clear line of sight." Shepard asked the geth beside her. "What's the fastest route?"

"The upper entrance. Target the base before the geth can organize resistance." he answered.

"What 'bout you?" she asked.

"We will deactivate defense systems and acquire an escape vehicle."

"You can do that?" she asked and absent mindedly pulled out her pistol and started twirling it in her hand. She was nervous.

Legion nodded, "This unit still carries remnants of the old machine upgrade code." he explained, a faint tone of sadness in his voice, his head bowed. "We can break any geth security." The sadness was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by a sort of determination. "You are concerned?"

She shook her head and clasped her hand down on his shoulder. "I trust you, Legion, you know your limits." she told him with her grin. "I'm more concerned you didn't tell me about the upgrades."

"You were tolerant of our recovery of geth intelligence from the server, but this matter is different, personal." Legion said and looked away.

She rubbed his shoulder, "You were ashamed."

"Shame is an emotional or congenital response to societal judgment, it should not apply here."

"I'm on your side, Legion, I want to help your people."

"We did not intend to cause effect." Legion said and took a step back and turned half away.

Shepard ran her hand over her face. "How did we get here, the geth are better than this." she asked rhetorically.

Legion bowed his head and shook it. "No… based on empirical evidence, they are not." he said sadly.

Shepard went to tell him differently, but the door opened as they reached their destination. "Proceed to the upper level entrance, we will exit here and procure and escape vehicle."

"Roger, roger," Shepard said, smirking at the Star Wars reference. "Don't get killed and good luck." she told the geth before he hopped out of the Kodiak.

"Acknowledged." he replied simply.

They followed and went a different way.

Tali took the lead and looked around her. "I can't believe it… I don't think it has sunken in yet. This is the home world, my world." She looked up at the blue sky. "Look at the sky. And the rock formations… they used to write poems about them."

Shepard smiled at her. "When we're done, you'll have to write me one." she told her and stood by her friend.

Tali looked at her and Shepard was pretty sure she was smiling. "This is Rannoch, the world of our ancestors. Our bodies carried the seeds that spread the desert grass." she turned her back on her human friend, and walked a bit away, looking out over the land. "You've heard me say Keela se'lai… The best translation I can come up with is 'By the home world I hope to see some day.'"

Shepard moved and stood at her side again. "Looks like you're seeing it today." she said and gave a large goofy grin at her friend, making her chuckle. "You going to miss traveling around with your home?" she asked.

Tali looked down at her hands, "We have gotten used to carrying our homes around with us…" she muttered.

Shepard leaned down and got a fist sized rock and put it in Tali's hand. "Now you still can." she said and patted the girl's head. Tali hugged Shepard. This woman always knew what to say and do, it was no wonder the humans sent her to raise the army needed to defeat the reapers, she just had a way about her that made you want to follow. "Now let's go kick some ass." Shepard said and pulled her helmet on.

They climbed a rise in front of them and looked at the geth base below. "Think there is an open window?" Shepard teased. Damn she was hanging around Joker too much, she was starting to develop a sense of humor.

"Structural weakness," Tali said with a giggle.

Shepard turned to her two teammates. "Well you two, we have been through a lot together… things were simpler back then, but the outcome with be the same, we will go in there, we will take down anything that stands in our way, and we will do it while getting shot the least times possible." Both girls nodded and they started their way down the hill.

It was nothing but geth after geth. Progress was slow, but their way upward to the point Legion marked for them. Thane listened to their progress from behind Joker, making the pilot nervous.

"Thane, you know you can sit down, right?" he asked.

"No thank you," he said calmly, his hands clamped behind his back.

Joker sighed and turned his chair to look at the assassin. "Look, you are kinda creeping me out. I'm not really that fond of an assassin standing behind me, posed to kill." he said and waved his hands like he was going to stab someone to make his point.

"I apologize for the discomfort I have caused you." Thane said and moved to sit down in the free chair to Joker's left.

Joker turned his chair back around, "You know you don't have to be so formal all the time." he muttered and tapped buttons on his monitor.

"Shit…" Shepard's voice said over the com. "Tali, keep your head down, send out your drones to distract them so I can grab that gun."

"Got it, Shepard." Tali replied.

Shepard poked her head out from behind the crate, ducking back as a blast hit it, making it shudder. "Liara, lift that third one up." she shouted at the asari. "Damn it, I hate primes." She waited a second for Liara to send off the biotics and then made a run for it. The distance was a good ten meters away and took precious seconds to cover. One of the primes turned back to her and shot at her. She let out a cry of pain as the bullets shot through her shields and lodged into her armor. It sent out a large blast just as she got behind the crate that had the gun on it. "Shit…" she groaned and dug out the bullet in her shoulder.

"Siha, are you okay?" Thane's voice said in her ear.

"I'm fine… shit…" she cursed and put med-gel to her wounds. "I took some shots, but it's nothing that's going to keep me down."

Thane gritted his teeth. "Please be careful." he pleaded.

"Don't worry, babe, I'm going to be fine." she assured him. In reality her shooting arm was throbbing horribly. She grabbed the gun off the top of the crate, ignoring the searing pain that told her not to. 'This is going to hurt like hell.' she thought as she stood up and shot at the closer geth. The geth spitfire tore through the machine before it took down her shields, but the second one knocked her off her feet. She was flung to the side, but Liara used her biotics to slow her down and had her land behind a large crate.

Kat got onto her hands and knees, ripped her helmet off, and threw up blood.

"Shepard, are you alright?" Tali asked as she had her drones circle around the two remaining primes.

"I'm fine," she called out and wiped the blood off her chin. She didn't need them seeing how badly she was hurt. She applied med-gel to her chest to try and stop whatever was bleeding.

"Siha," Thane's voice called into her ear again.

"I'm fine, Thane." she snapped at him. She grabbed the spitfire's bloody handle. She worked her way around the crate and shot down the second prime. The third turned to her, but she already had the gun on it and firing too fast for it to give a return shot. "Go, go, go." she told her team and they all ran for the point Legion marked. It was a ledge looking down into a hole, pit, thing. It was a giant hole in the ground made of metal. She pulled out the syncing gun and focused on the center.

"The Normandy's weapons system is ready to sync to your target, I recommend you retreat to a safe location." EDI told her through the com.

Shepard ignored her continued to line up her shot from the edge of the ledge. It beeped and the Normandy moved in. "Target locked." EDI told her as the ship fired. The blast jerked the ledge and bent it downward. Shepard slid off it and fell towards the ground, flipping to her feet at the last second and doing a barrel role to absorb most of the impact. The two girls jumped down to join her, making sure she was okay.

"I'll live," Shepard said and wiped the blood off her mouth. The impact had caused her to cough up more blood. She seemed to be losing a lot of the red liquid lately and wondered if she should start worrying about it.

There was a rumble from the pit and Shepard froze. "Oh shit… don't tell me…" she muttered, her eyes wide. "Shit." she said as a big purple leg rose up from the smoking metal pit.

"Reaper!" Liara cried and they all got up and ran towards the vehicle Legion had gotten and was pulling around to them.

Tali and Liara piled inside and Shepard slid into the gun on the back of it. "Go, Legion, drive damn it!" Shepard ordered as the reaper started to get up.

"We will attempt evasive maneuvers." Legion told her and started backing up as fast as the hovercraft would go. Then once there was room he whipped it around forward so fast Shepard's head spun.

"Damn… if I was this bad driving the mako I feel bad about yelling at Garrus for being a baby so much." she said and pointed the gun at the reaper and started firing.

"Yes you were," Garrus called over the com, having come up to the bridge and was standing over Joker. "You were horrible."

Shepard reloaded the gun and started firing again. "Oh it wasn't that bad." Shepard snapped at him.

"You tried to drive up the side of a cliff." Garrus argued, making Thane smirk slightly.

"Wrex bet me, that's different, and I won the bet, damn it." Shepard said as she loaded in another clip. "Damn it, you all have big guns on those ships, shoot this damn thing." she yelled at the fleet. A few seconds later and the reaper was blasted and went down.

"What did we hit?" Gerrel asked.

"The firing chamber, it looks like it's a weak spot when its priming." Shepard told them.

"Damn it, those jamming towers are stopping us from getting a precise shot." Gerrel told them.

"We may escape before it recovers." Legion suggested.

Thane gripped his hands. His siha was down there facing a Reaper on foot by herself.

"No, pull over." Shepard snapped at Legion, who did as she said. She jumped off the hovercraft, ignoring the pain in her chest it caused.

"Shepard Commander?"

"If we run away the geth stay under reaper control and the quarrians are dead. This end now." Shepard said and pulled out the syncing gun. "EDI, patch the quarrians to the Normandy's weapons system, I want every fucking ship on this thing."

"Understood," EDI told her.

"Do you need assistance?" Legion asked.

"No, get out to safety, Legion." she told the geth. "I've got it."

"Siha," Thane said, trying to stop this.

"Shut up, Thane," she snapped at him. "I told you I'm coming back."

She approached a ledge that have her a good view of the reaper. "Everyone be ready!" she ordered. "Thane…" she said softer.

"Siha." he replied.

"I love you." she told him. She was shaking. Her vision was starting to get spotty from the blood loss. If she couldn't move quick enough to dodge this thing, she wanted that to be the last thing he heard her say, not for him to shut up.

He was quiet for a long moment. "You promised, siha, that you would come back. Tell me that when you do." he said and swallowed the lump in his throat.

The reaper started to stand up and Shepard pointed her gun at the red firing chamber. The first shot was easy since the reaper didn't know where she was. But the ping of the sync gun gave her away and it focused in on her. "Come on, damn it, hit it harder." she snapped at the fleet and lined it up for another shot.

The reaper started stepping closer to her to increase its aim. "That's it, big guy, the closer you are the quicker I can sync this up to you." she told it and pulled the trigger and the gun started to sync. The reaper shot out a blast towards her and she jumped to the side at the last second. She rolled to her feet and locked the gun back on it. It pings and the fleet started firing again, knocking the reaper back a little bit, but it didn't go down.

"Shit," Shepard muttered and started to line the gun up again.

Thane bit his lip, wanting to tell her to pull out, to run away, to not throw away her life for this. Kolyat came up behind his father and put his hand on his shoulder. "It'll be okay, dad." he told him, but in truth he didn't see how Shepard was going to get out of this. "She has made a career doing the impossible, remember?" Thane nodded, thankful that his son was there.

The reaper fired another shot and Kat dodged to the other side this time, never taking her gun off of it. It pings and the fleet shot it again. "It's wearing down." she told them, what she left out is that the reaper was pretty much on top of her now. She pointed the gun at it and pulled the trigger once more. "Come on… come on…" she gritted as the reapers attack came closer and closer. She jumped out of the way, but barely, the heat from the blast singed her hair. She laid on the ground, panting, for just a second too long and the reaper shot at her again. "Fuck." she said and sprung to her feet and ran to the other side of the ledge and aimed the gun at it. It synced and let out the ping, followed by the fleets gunfire.

The reaper let out a cry and moved even closer, now literally right above her. "Come here, you son of a bitch." Kat said and pointed the gun at the red firing chamber as it charged its attack at her. It pinged and they shot the reaper down.

Shepard looked down at the body and sank to her knees. She did it. Coughing up blood, she got to her feet and went to the edge of the ledge were the reaper had fallen.

The dying monster seemed to turn its… eye and looked at her. "Shepard," it said in a deep voice, making her shudder.

"Even the reapers know who I am." she said and spat out some blood. "I should feel honored."

"Harbinger speaks of you. You resist, but you will fail. The cycle must continue."

"What cycle? What are you talking about?" Shepard crossed her arms over her aching chest. "We stopped Sovern and the geth, Harbinger and the collectors, we deserve some damn answers."

"It is not a thing you can comprehend."

Shepard moved closer to the edge, "Try me." she spat at it.

"You are chaos, we are order. Every organic civilization must be harvested in order to bring order to the chaos. It is inevitable. Without our intervention organics are doomed. We are your salvation."

"So you're killing everyone in the galaxy to try and save them?"

"The cycle must continue. There is no alternative."

"Organics and synthetics can be at peace."

"The battle for this world disproves your theory. Finish your war, we will be waiting." The reapers "eye" went dark.

Shepard stood and stared at it before Tali came up. "We did it…" she muttered "We killed a reaper.

'Well I killed a reaper,' Shepard thought, but kept it to herself.

"Keelah."

Legion was a few feet behind them. "We can confirm that the geth are no longer being directed by the old machines. We are free." he told them.

"You did it, Shepard." Gerrel called over the com. "The geth fleet has stopped firing. They are completely vulnerable."

'I hate this man,' she thought. 'The geth turned to the reapers to start with because they needed the help from being wiped out.'

"Shepard Commander, the geth only acted in defense, after the creators attacked." Legion said, preaching to the choir.

"I know, Legion." she assured him sadly.

"Do we deserve death?"

She shook her head, "No... What are you suggesting?"

"Our upgrades, with the old machine dead we could upload them to all geth." he said and walked up to stand beside them. "Without sacrificing their independents."

"You want to upload the reaper code? That would make the geth as smart as when the reaper was controlling them." Tali said in disbelieve.

Legion nodded, "Yes, but with free will." he tried to reason. He knew that her hatred for the geth ran deep, even if they were friends. "Each geth unit would be true intelligence. We would be alive. We could help you."

Tali shook her head and turned to Shepard. "Our fleet is already attacking, uploading the reaper code will destroy us." she pleaded. "Shepard, you can't choice the geth over my people."

"Do you remember the question that caused the creators to attack us, Tali'Zorha?" Legion asked, his back to her. "Does this unit have a soul?"

Shepard looked at Legion. "Upload the code, Tali, try and stop your fleet from attacking." she ordered.

Legion held out his hands and formed something that looked like a probe between his hands. "Uploading… 10%."

"This is Admiral Tali'Zorha, all units, break off your attack." Tali said into her com.

"Belay that order," Gerrel replied. "Keep attacking."

"20%"

Tali walked up behind Legion. "I beg you, do not do this." she pleaded.

"We regret the death of the creators, but we see no alternative." Legion said and continued the upload. "40%"

"No… nobody else dies. Legion, keep going." Shepard said and put her hand to the com in her ear. Tali looked at her, shaking, probably crying. "All ships, this is Commander Shepard, the reaper is dead, stand down." she ordered.

Tali chimed in with her com. "This is Admiral Tali'Zorah, Shepard speaks with my authority." she told her people.

"And mine as well," Admiral Koris, the admiral they saved, defended.

"Negative. We can win this, keep firing!" Gerrel refused.

"Sixty percent." Legion informed them.

Shepard smirked, "The geth are about to return to full strength, if you keep attacking they will wipe you out." she warned. "You're entire history is about trying to kill the geth. You forced them to rebel. You forced them to ally the reapers. Stand the fuck down. The geth don't want to fight you. If you can pull your head out of your ass for one minute this war will be over." Shepard sighed, trying to calm her anger. "You have a choice… Please… Keelah se'lai." she said, a lot kinder.

Gerrel was silent for a few seconds. "All units, hold fire." he ordered.

Shepard smirked and looked at Legion. "Error, copying code is insufficient. Direct personality dissemination required." he said and the orb disappeared. He turned to her. "Shepard Commander. I must go to them. I'm sorry. It's the only way." he looked down sadly.

"Legion…" Shepard said sadly.

Tali came up to him, "Legion…" she said sadly to her friend, knowing what this meant. "The answer to your question… is yes."

Legion nodded. "I know that, Tali. But thank you, keelah se'lai." His shoulders were slumped, knowing what must be done, but not wanting to do it. He turned away from them and fell to his knees, then to his side, dead. The light on his head went dark and Shepard bowed her head, a tear falling from each eye and down her cheek.

Tali and Kat stood there until someone approached them. They turned around and looked at the limping Admiral Rann. "I heard your ship crashed… good to see you're in one piece."

"I was listening to the radio. If Gerrel hadn't stopped…" she said, nearly doubled over.

"He did." Shepard cut her off.

"We have taken heavy losses… I don't know if we can… Where are we supposed to go?" the admiral asked, standing a bit straighter.

Tali pulled her gun as a geth approached them. "You are welcome to return to Rannoch, Admiral Rann. With us." he said in a deep voice.

Shepard looked up at him. "Legion?" she asked hopefully.

The prime shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. Commander Legion sacrificed himself to give us all intelligence. It will be honored."

"He," Shepard corrected and nodded. "Good."

"And we will honor Legion's promise. The Geth fleet will help you retake Earth, and our engineers will assist in building the Crucible." he said with a nod of his head.

"As will ours," Rann said and turned to Shepard. The quarrian turned her back to a geth, it made Shepard smile at the newly forming trust.

Shepard nodded to them and turned to were Tali was standing by the edge of the ledge. "Shopping for a summer home?" she asked the girl.

"Beachfront property." she replied and looked at her longtime friend.

"Not as good as you think, actually, the salty wind peels the paint off your house." she warned.

Tali shook her head and sat down, Kat sat down beside her.

"You okay? I know working with the geth will be difficult." she asked and nudged her friend's shoulder.

Tali shook her head. "I'm not staying… I'm coming with you."

Shepard looked away. "I wasn't going to ask…"

"Why not?"

"Because I respect you, damn it. You think I don't want you to come with me? You've been there since the beginning, hell you've saved my ass more times than I can count, but these are your people, I won't ask you to abandon them." Shepard said and wiped her hand across her mouth to catch a trail of blood that leaked out.

"I don't know if we can beat the reapers, but I am coming with you." Tali said stubbornly.

Shepard smiled at her and went to say something, but instead of words a spew of blood came out and Shepard gripped her chest.

Tali looked at her shocked. "Shepard." she said and catch her friend as she passed out.

"What's wrong?" Joker asked over the com.

"Shepard just threw up blood and passed out… I don't know… She needs a doctor." Tali said frantic.

Liara ran up and together they pulled off Shepard's armor.

"Keelah…" Tali said, dumb founded.

Shepard's chest curved in over her heart and lungs and her entire front was covered in blood. "Get a doctor here now, she is going to die." Tali yelled into the com and they franticly applied med-gel to the wound.

**A/N: Really long chapter… hope you liked. Review to encourage me to write the next chapter faster and not kill off Shepard. Mawhahaha.**

**Oh, let me get your guys opinion. Do you guys want a kinky smut chapter? Because I have an idea for one but I can also take it were it doesn't turn into that.**


	17. Chapter 17

Thane's blood ran cold. _"She is going to die."_ Tali's words rang through his mind again and again.

Garrus was already moving. He dragged Thane out of the chair and down to the cargo bay. They got into the Kodiak and took off before Cortez could even react. "We're on our way." Garrus told them and pushed the ship as fast as it would go.

They reached them in five minutes and Garrus cursed at the sight. Shepard lay on the ground, topless, her chest a bloody mess. The two girls were pushing against the wounds she was bleeding from, trying to slow it down.

"How was she even walking?" Garrus asked as he pulled out more med-gel and they managed to get the bleeding to slow.

Thane held her fingers to her throat, making sure her heart kept beating.

"Thane, grab her arms, we need to get her back to Chakwas." Garrus said and together they picked her up and carried her back on the ship. All five of them piled into the ship and headed back to the ship.

They set Shepard down on the seat and Thane moved so she was using his lap as a pillow. 'Kalahari… goddess of the sea and afterlife… please… don't take her from me.' he bowed his head and prayed. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he stroked her hair. She looked bad, worse than he had ever seen her. "I love you too." he said softly.

Liara sat down beside him. "Don't worry, she'll be fine." she tried to comfort him.

Thane didn't answer, lost in the memories of Irikah's death. How it felt to hear that she was dead, how it felt to have to prepare the ceremony of her passing. She was a good woman, beautiful and strong. She didn't deserve to die, and neither did Shepard.

He snapped back to the present when the door to the Kodiak opened, back to the woman dying in his lap, his siha.

Chakwas was already in the cargo bay with a bag of blood. "Move," she ordered the crowd in the ship to leave and they quickly got out, but Thane stayed. He wouldn't leave her. Chakwas didn't seem to mind him. She grabbed Shepard's arm and stuck a needle in the crease in her elbow and the blood from the bag started flowing into her veins. "Thane, stand up and hold this high." she ordered him and he stood carefully, setting Kat's head down gentle on the bench. He took the bag of blood and held it above his head. "Kaiden, James." the doctor called and the two men stepped into the ship with a stretcher between them. They set it down and picked up the commander and then set her on it. Then they picked the stretcher back up and the four of them started to the elevator with half the crew following close behind.

Chakwas looked her over more once they were inside. "Looks like all her ribs are cracked." she said as she felt the bones. "Probably has a punctured lung if she is coughing up blood, wouldn't be surprised if it tore her esophagus too."

Thane looked down at the woman he loved. "Do you think she will make it?" he asked, not wanting to hear the answer.

Chakwas looked up at him. "Truthfully it doesn't look good, if this was anyone else I'd be picking out their coffin, but Shepard… I think she will be fine."

Thane let out a sigh of relief and they all moved when the elevator door opened. More crew members were gathered here, all bunched out of the way. He looked at them and understood why they were here. This woman, their commander, was all of their friend. She wasn't just their hope to defeating the reapers, she was a person who they laughed with, told their worries to, knowing she would listen and help them. This was a woman that would do anything for her crew, no matter what it cost her. Now that she was hurt, they felt the desire to do the same for her.

They went into the empty med-bay and set Shepard down on the exam table. Chakwas took the bag from Thane and hooked it on a metal pole. "James, don't let anyone else in here. Kaiden, go get me bandages. Thane, get that breathing mask on her." she ordered and the three of them moved. Thane strapped the breathing mask over her mouth as Kaiden came back.

Chakwas was already cutting into Kat's torn flesh. The bones were too broken for a shot, they would have to be manually reset. An old practice, but a needed one. She pealed back the skin, revealing the broken ribs. "Punctured right lung, and the esophagus is torn." she muttered and ordered Kaiden to get her a wet cloth, then told him to keep the area free of blood.

It was grueling work, but finally Chakwas stitched Shepard back up. It had taken nearly five hours and several blood transfusions. She had told Thane that they always had a stock of the commander's blood type on board, stored away in a deep freezer. A positive, apparently one of the more common types.

"She is stable, but will probably take a few days to wake up." she told Thane as she sunk down in her seat, worn out from the long procedure.

He nodded and left the med-bay to tell the crew, who were all crowded around the windows and door. They all stared at him as he came out. "She is stable and will make a fully recover." he informed them, his hands behind his back. They all cheered and hugged and Gardner pulled out the stock of alcohol to celebrate.

Kolyat pushed his way through the crowd to his father and looked down at him, relief clear on his face. "She is okay?" he asked, wanting to make sure. Thane nodded and his son hugged him tight. "Thank Kalahira." he muttered.

The older drell smiled and hugged his son back. "You better not let her die. This is the last woman I'll approve of." he warned his father.

Thane chuckled. "I do not intend to let her leave me alone." he told his son and they went back into the med-bay to watch over the woman that had wormed her way into their hearts, all of their hearts, everyone on the crew loved her.

"_Come here," a cruel voice said, making her flinch. "I said come here, I have your dinner." She looked up at the large man, staring at the plate in his hand. "You want to eat right?" he said with a smirk that chilled her to the bone._

Shepard jolted awake and looked around. She was at the Citadel's hospital. She looked down at her body, expecting to see a big bloody mess instead of her chest, but instead saw a shirt, and under it was a scar that looked like it was still healing. She must have been out for days then, but her body still was killing her so it couldn't have been more than four or five. She swung her legs off the bed and stood up. The room spun and she quickly grabbed the trashcan before throwing up in it. The bile burned her throat. At least three days then if her stomach was completely empty. She straightened back up and looked through the window in her room and her heart rate quickened. Thane was in the room across from her, topless, and being looked over by a doctor. Had his keplar come back? She left her room and barged into the one with Thane.

"Siha?" he said shocked as she came through the door and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.

"What's going on?" she asked as she pulled back and looked at him.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Just a checkup." he assured her and pulled his jacket back on.

The doctor gave him the results, which were good. He had regained lung function from forty percent to nearly ninety percent. He told them that Thane would probably never regain all function, but the improvement was remarkable.

Then the doctor turned to her. "Miss. Shepard, your doctor would like a word with you." he said and slid out of the room.

She looked to Thane, who looked worried. "I'll be fine." she told him and left to go find her doctor.

It wasn't hard, he approached her as she came out of the room. "Miss. Shepard." he said with a slight bow of the head. The human pulled her aside to speak a little more privately.

"Is something wrong?" she asked and glanced back at the room Thane was in.

The doctor shook his head. "No you are in perfect heal, all things considered." he assured her. "But… I would advise you to avoid dangerous situations for the next… seven or eight months, it's hard to say, this rarely ever happens."

She looked at him confused. "What are you talking about?" she asked dryly. She was hungry and it was making her irritable.

"Commander… you…" he looked back at the room for a moment. "You're pregnant."

Shepard stared at him wide eyed. "I'm…" the doctor nodded. She put a hand on her stomach. "How far?" she asked.

"Only a week or two, we wouldn't have known if we hadn't had to do so many tests to make sure you were okay." he told her. "That drell… Thane. He is the father?"

She nodded.

"You are aware that no drell-human fetus has made it through the first trimester, correct?"

She nodded again. "Please… don't tell him… if I do… miscarry… I don't want to get his hopes up." she muttered and looked down at her stomach. She was pregnant. A little baby was growing inside of her, Thane's baby. "Thank you, doctor." she said and went back to Thane.

He waited beside the door for her. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah… he just told me to take it easy and avoid getting shot at so much." she said. It wasn't a lie.

Thane nodded and took her hand in his. "Good advice." he said and kissed her knuckles.

She nodded. "Can we go eat? I'm starving." she asked and they left for the commons.

"How long was I out?" she asked in the elevator.

"Four days." Thane replied.

She nodded. That wasn't too long then.

When the door opened she blinked at the red and green decorations hanging up everywhere. "Wait…" she muttered and pulled up the date on her omni-tool. December 20th. She laughed, in all the action going on she hadn't realized that it was so close to Christmas.

Thane looked at her as they walked down the hallway. "You know what the decorations mean?" he asked. He knew it was a human holiday that was quickly becoming popular among every species, but didn't know much about it.

She nodded. "It's for Christmas, the day we celebrate the birth of the Christian God's son." she explained.

"I didn't know you were religious." he commented.

She shook her head, "I believe that something created us, but who am I to say which faith is right?"

"Then you do not celebrate Christmas?" he asked.

"No I do, the religious part of the holiday isn't the only reason we celebrate. It is also just a time to be with friends and family and to be spoiled and spoil them with gifts, that's the part I like, I always bought my friends gifts, or made them, depending on what I could afford." she said and leaned against him.

He nodded. "Miss. Traynor had set up something called a Secret Santa before we all took shore leave. I'm apparently supposed to buy Joker a gift without him knowing about it, but I don't know what is accustomed or the event."

"Secret Santa," Shepard said with a frown. "Well who did I get?" she asked, not wanting to be left out.

Thane reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper that was taped shut. "She told me to give you this and I wasn't allowed to read it." he said.

She took the paper and opened it before smiling wide.

"Who did you get?" Thane asked.

"Not telling." she said with a smirk and slipped the paper into her pocket. She couldn't have picked a better choice; she even knew what she was going to get him.

_Kolyat_

"I told you mine," he said and kissed the side of her head.

She smirked and pushed him away a bit. "Just because you're a bad boy and break the rules doesn't mean I have to." she said with a laugh. "But I've always had a thing for bad boys, so it's not a horrible thing." she said flirtatiously. She gave him a quick kiss and then ran off. "I'll meet you at the diner in a hour." she told him with a wave.

He just stood there, not knowing what happened. Apparently she was going to go buy the gift for the person she got. He sighed and decided to try and find something for Joker to kill time.

Shepard went a complicated way to the store she was after to make sure Thane wasn't following her. When she slipped inside she looked around at the merchandise, looking for the right one. She smirked when she found it and told the shop keeper which one. He looked at her funny, but gave it to her after she paid and she had it delivered to the Normandy, telling them to put it in a place the drells would never find it.

What do you get a human for Christmas? He wasn't even sure what it was, really. Thane sighed as he walked through the shops, trying to figure out what to get the human.

Shepard spotted him on her way towards the diner and snuck up behind him. He knew she was there, and she knew that he knew, but he let her slide her arms around his waist and lean into him before he said anything. "Would you like help?" she asked, allowing him to cheat on buying the gift.

"Yes," he said and turned around to look at her.

She smiled and leaned up to give him a peck on the lips. "Okay, first, Joker doesn't use guns or armor, so this store isn't going to cut it." she said and guided him out of the store. They walked hand in hand down to a store that had things tailored more to Joker's tastes.

Christmas day was a bustle of activity. Joker had gotten Steve and let him drive the Normandy as a gift, cheap, but Steve loved it. Steve had gotten James a pack of cards and a set of poker chips. James had gotten Garrus highly explosive rounds. Garrus had gotten Chakwas a case of her favorite brandy. Chakwas had gotten Kaidan biotic upgrades to help with his migraines. Kaidan had gotten Liara a pretty dress, picked out by Chakwas and Tali. Liara had gotten Traynor a physical chess set. Traynor had gotten Gardner a set of new pans. Gardner had made Ken haggis. Ken asked Gabby to marry him, which she said yes. Gabby had gotten Tali a new set of tools, which she was ecstatic about, never having a new set completely her own before. Thane had gotten joker an external hard-drive that was over fifty terabits, not needing it to be spoken that it was for his enormous porn collection. But the drell was no were to be found.

_Two hours earlier:_

_Thane Krios walked down the hall to the elevator, planning on going down to the crew deck to speak with his son, but when the elevator opened he was shoved from behind into it. He turned to fight his opponent, but a cloth was quickly placed over his nose and mouth and he passed out. He woke up some undetermined time later and was strapped down to Shepard's bed, completely naked, expect a bow that was over the slit where his penis came out. He pulled on the binds, trying to get free, but they were too strong, even for his biotics. So he just lay there, one limb tied to each corner of the bed. This was going to be so embarrassing if Kat found him like this._

Kat pulled Kolyat aside as he looked around for his gift, not knowing who was left to give him one. He looked at Shepard surprised, was she his Secret Santa?

"Merry Christmas, Kolyat?" she said and pulled him around the corner to see a brand new deep blue hover bike. They were like motorcycles, only they didn't have wheels, they also cost a lot so he never had one. "I saw you eyeing them in the store one day." she told him when he looked confused as to how she had known.

He smiled and hugged her tight. "Thank you so much." he said and got on it.

"Hey, hey, no starting it up in here." she warned him and he laughed.

"I know." he assured his quickly becoming mother figure. "I love it, thank you."

She smiled as she watched him run a hand over the metal.

Joker came around the corner. "So you had Shepard? Lucky, she always gets the best gifts." he muttered when he saw the bike. "Thane just got me more porn storage."

Shepard glared at him. "Speaking of which, have either of you seen him?" she asked.

They both shook their heads. "Not since this morning." Joker said.

She sighed, "I haven't seen him since we woke up." she said and went to the elevator. "I'm going to be in my cabin." she told them.

"Hey, Shepard, who was your Secret Santa?" Kolyat asked.

She shrugged, "Didn't get one, I guess." she said before the door shut and took her up to her cabin. She walked into her room and blinked at the sight that greeted her.

**A/N: And thus ends the boring set up to the smut chap. Review and I may update by Saturday. I have the next two days off so I have free time… if motivated.**


	18. Chapter 18

Thane craned his neck to look at who came in when the door opened. Shepard stood there at the top of the stairs, staring at him. She put a hand over her mouth and the other around her waist. She was laughing. He let his head fall back down. Great, it was worse than he thought, while he was stuck here, tied down, he thought that maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought, but he was wrong, she was laughing at him. He was tied down to the bed with a bow over his groin and a ball gag in his mouth.

She moved and sat down beside him and took the ball gag out so he could speak. "I'm assuming my Secret Santa did this as my gift." she said and leaned down to kiss him.

"It was not my idea, Garrus jumped me in the elevator." he said with a slight growl and pulled on the binds, making his muscles flex.

She smiled and ran a hand down his thick toned arm. "I have to admit, this is kind of hot." she muttered and the hand slide to his chest and down the toned scaly skin.

He groaned, loving her hand running over him. "You were laughing." he said dryly.

She chuckled and gave him another peck. "That's because there is a deadly, strong, and powerful assassin tied down to my bed looking so helpless." she said, making him growl at her, just barely loud enough for her to hear.

She pulled her head back and swung her leg over his stomach and straddled it.

"Siha, I—" he started but was cut off when she shoved the ball gag back into his mouth and tied it behind his head. "Uwn tewi mee." he said against it.

"What's that? I can't understand you." she chuckled and slowly started to unbutton her shirt, tauntingly showing him her bare skin inch by inch.

He groaned and pulled against the binds. He wasn't kinky in the slightest so this was all weird to him. Her just wanted to take her and make love to her, sweet love in each other's arms.

Finally the shirt slid off her body and she draped it over his head, blocking his view. He let out a noise of protest and tried to shake the cloth from his head.

She slid down his body and removed the bow. "I need to unwrap my present, don't I." she said and smirked at the tip of the dark pink flesh poking out from the slit. She smirked and gave it a lick, making him buck up against her and moan against the gag. She took the tip in her mouth and slid her tongue inside the slit to try and coax the rest of it out. It worked and he grew in length. It hit the back of her throat and she swallowed to allow her to take in the rest of him.

His eyes closed and he pulled against the binds. "Pweeze oontwi me." he said against the gag, wanting to be able to give her the pleasure she was giving him.

She removed him from her mouth and looked up at him. "Love, I'm not going to untie you, that would ruin the point." she said and licked his skin right above the slip. It was slightly pink and sensitive.

Thane growled against the gag and arched into her, wanting her mouth around him.

She smiled and took him in her mouth again, deep throating him. She bobbed her head up and down on him, running her teeth gently over his flesh. He was panting heavily past the gag, his arms pulling against the binds. She tasted his precum on the back of her tongue and pulled him out. If she ingested his cum it would make her very dizzy and hallucinate. She didn't want that, she wanted to ravish this man as long as she could.

He let out a whine when she stopped and looked down at her, the shirt sliding off his head. She smirked and crawled up his body so she was straddling his waist and was bent over his torso, their faces inches from each other. She took the gag out and he licked his dry lips. "Can you untie me now?" he asked.

She chuckled and they kissed, their tongues intertwining, dancing, fighting for dominance. Kat one this one, being in the better position, but he'd get her later. Right now he was just enjoying the feeling of her sucking on his tongue. Sex with humans was a lot better than with other drell, or even asari. Humans loved foreplay and would explore new ways to go about it more willingly than other species. Like the blow job thing, there was also a wide variety of positions. Doggie style was one of his favorites of the ones they had tried so far. He didn't think he would like it at first, not being able to see her face bothered him, but once they started the feel of her like that under him… damn it wasn't something he could describe.

He snapped out of his memories when he felt his penis surrounded by the familiar and wonderful wet warmth that was her. He groaned and she started moving her hips, lifting herself on and off of him in pace with his thrusts up at her.

She broke the kiss and they both panted, trying to re-catch their breaths. "See, being tied down isn't such a bad thing." she said with a smirk and hand her nails down his chest, digging them into all the right places that he loved. Drells had rough sex, not like turians, but they still loved to be scratched and bitten. He groaned and jerked at the binds, making his arms flex. She looked at them, at his body, he was so fucking sexy. She sat up and continued to ride him. Her right hand went to his stomach to keep her balanced, and her left bent behind her and she slipped a finger into the slit at the base of the underside of his manhood. She rubbed her finger along the tender flesh and he growled out in pleasure.

He looked up at her through hazy eyes and tried to commit everything about her in this moment to his memory. How her dark hair fell around her face, her slender neck arching back as her head fell backwards in pleasure. How this made her chest arch out, her sweet breasts looking as if they craved his touch, with their hard rosy nipples. He tore his eyes away from her chest and trailed them lower, to her flat subtly toned stomach, her little bellybutton, down to the little thin patch of hair right before her lower lips. Every bit of her was flawless and every bit of her was his. His attention was brought back to their joining as she cried out his name in the ecstasy of her orgasm. Her walls clamped down on him, milking him until he came with her. She slowed as she came down from the intense orgasm, her juices slipping past his cock, still buried deep within her, and onto his scales just enough to make him want more. She looked down at him, spent, with a little smile on her thin rosy lips.

She leaned forward and released his hands from the binds. The moment he was free he grabbed her by the waist and twisted them so she was on the bottom. He grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head before strapping them into the binds. "You're turn." he said huskily and kissed her lips with passionate force.

Once her hands were tied up he reached down and undid his feet and replaced them with hers. Then he got off the bed and looked down at her, the great Commander Shepard, completely at his mercy.

She pulled against the binds and looked up at him with a half-hearted glare. "Well what are you waiting for?" she asked and licked her lips.

He chuckled and put the ball gag in her mouth and tied it on. "Patience, siha, I'm going to enjoy this." he told her calmly and started to kiss down her body. He stopped by each of her nipples and swirled his tongue around them, making her cry out against the ball gag. He gripped and nipped the later to get his attention before he continued lower. He grazed his lips, teeth, and tongue, down her body in turn until he came upon that wonderful little patch of hair no bigger than a half dollar. He asked her about it once, if all human females had it. She told him yes and naturally it was bigger than hers, but she kept hers trimmed and shaved down. When he asked her way she told him men preferred it that way and it also helped keep the area clean. She nudged his head with her thigh, pulling him from his memories and to the present, more importantly to the wet pussy in front of his eyes.

He gripped her thighs so she couldn't move them and ran his tongue over her clit. She groaned against the gag and tried to arch into him, but he held her still. His sinful tongue run over her clit again before sliding down and slipping inside of her making her close her eyes in pleasure and moan his name against the gag. His tongue felt amazing. It was a bit longer than a human tongue, and wider, it was also… slicker, because drell had thicker saliva than humans. He pushed his tongue deep inside of her and turned it this way and that, making her whither under his hands, but unable to get away. She couldn't take it anymore, and came into his mouth. He purred and licked up her sweet juices. Then he laid down next to her and let her out of the binds. She cuddled up into his chest and removed the gag. "Thank you, Santa," she said with a smirk and nuzzled his neck, breathing in his scent deeply.

He chuckled and held her close.

"Hey, Thane?" she muttered.

"Yes, siha?" he said and rubbed her back.

"You're yellow." she told him before she drifted off into a hallucinogen induced sleep.

He smiled down at her, apparently she had ingested some of his pre-cum when she had been giving him a blow job.

**A/N: And thus there is a smut chapter. Would have been done earlier but I got a new xbox and I've been breaking the bad boy in. 250G and so sexy and amazing. I even bought this pink and black zebra print duct-tape and put a strip on it, it looks awesome, I love it.**


	19. Chapter 19

The sound of boots echoed on the empty crew deck. It was already ten o'clock, that was unacceptable. "EDI," Shepard called quietly.

"Yes, Shepard?" the AI's voice answered over the com.

"Wake the crew up, old school." she said with a smirk and went to work to start breakfast for Gardner.

"Oh course, Shepard." There was a few seconds delay before the familiar trumpet she had woken up to every morning of boot camp played the loud, annoying tune.

She could hear the crew groaning, the pain of hangovers from all the drinking last night. By the time they started filtering out into the mess Shepard had pancakes and bacon sizzling on a large skillet.

"I thought you couldn't cook." Gardner said as he came up and took over for her.

Shepard shrugged and smirked at a groggy Kolyat as he came into view. Apparently Garrus got the boy drunk last night. "I lied." she said simple and went over to him and helped him to the table and into a seat.

Gardner gave a short laugh, "What else were you lyin' about?" he asked.

"Now if I gave up all my secrets… I'd have to kill you." she said and gave a soft sigh as she felt strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her against a strong chest. "I was wondering when you'd follow me down." she said and turned her head to give Thane a kiss.

Tali came up to them. "Did you like your gift, Shepard?" she asked, her mask fogging up slightly.

Shepard laughed, "That was you then? Sweet innocent Tali?"

"It was Garrus's idea, we couldn't think of anything I could get you and he jokingly said that I should just tie down Thane for you and… I convinced him to do it for me." she blushed and rang her hands together.

Shepard smirked, "It wasn't a bad idea, though I think now that he is out I'm going to be the only one back in the restraints." she said, making Tali's mask fog more. "Thanks, Tali, I needed a night were… well I could goof off and be myself."

Tali nodded and squeaked as Garrus came up behind her and mimicked Thane's position. "She told you?" he asked and they all nodded. "Good, now you can kill her, Thane, not me." he mumbled and leaned his weight onto the small quarrian.

She struggled under his weight. "Get off of me, you fat bosh'tet." she growled at him and tried to get away.

They all laughed and Shepard got Thane to let go of her. "All of you eat up, I'm going to bring a plate to Joker and tell him to plot a course for Attican Traverse, Wrex wants us to check up on something." she told him and gave him a kiss. "Get Kolyat sober, you two are coming, seeing as he is the least hung over and you didn't drink."

He nodded and kissed her back for a moment.

She left his grasp, unwillingly, and grabbed a plate of pancakes and bacon before taking it up to the bridge. "Breakfast," she said handing Joker the plate.

"Thanks, Commander, you know since I wasn't allowed to drink last night." he said sourly and set the plate on his lap and started to eat it.

She knocked him in the head lightly. "No complaining, Cripple, you'll drink again before I do." she grumbled.

"What?" Joker asked past a mouthful of food. He looked at her a moment before he nearly choked on the pancake. "You're not!" he said and nearly dropped the plate in his rush to get up.

Shepard realized her mistake and forced him to sit back down. "Shut up," she said quietly.

"You're pregnant." he said in a loud whisper.

She put her hand over her face and nodded slowly. "But I'll probably miscarriage." she said and sat down on the arm of his chair. "So don't tell anyone, especially Thane… I don't need… if it miscarries I don't want him upset, he will blame himself, somehow, some way."

He looked at her for a long moment. "On one condition." he said with a grin.

She looked at him wary.

"I get to be the godfather."

She just stared at him. "Really?"

"Yes, I want to be the godfather." he said and started eating again.

She shook her head, "Joker, you couldn't even bounce him on your knee." she smirked.

"Haha, cripple joke," he said dryly.

She pushed his head. "Alright, I'll think about it, now get us to the Attican Traverse." she ordered and stood up.

"Aye, aye, Commander." he said and plotted the course.

They landed the Kodiak on the planet that evening. Kolyat was sober and sharp thanks to Thane forcing him to drink charcoal, mumbling how he was disappointed in his son for getting drunk. He stood on one side of Shepard while Thane stood on the other. He was nervous, more so than the first mission, this one they were going to be on the ground. He looked at the two adults and they gave him a reassuring smile.

Shepard pulled on her helmet, thankful that it was her blood dragon armor, and that it was fixed. "You'll be fine," she told him as they stepped out of the vehicle.

They were greeted by the sight of a bunch of well armored krogan. "Shepard," a rough voice called out and shoved the other krogan out of the way. Kolyat raised his gun, but Thane pushed it back down. Grunt came into view, his head low and charging the commander. Kat rolled out of the way, but Grunt turned and ran at her again.

"Still too slow, boy." she said and sidestepped him, grabbing his arm and tried to toss him to the ground, but the krogan smirked and threw her against the nearest rock, pinning her there.

He let out a laugh and she joined in. "Not bad, big guy, now let me down, I think you may of cracked a rib." she said, trying to draw breath into her lungs.

He let her drop before pulling her into a hug. "Good to see you, Battlemaster," he said and shook her.

"Likewise, Grunt, what are you doing way out here, you ugly son of a tube." she said once he let her go.

Kolyat looked at the scene funny.

"Oh, Grunt, this is Thane's son, Kolyat. Kolyat, this is Grunt, he helped us take down the collectors." she quickly explained.

Kolyat nodded slowly. "So… that exchange…" he asked.

"Grunt considers me his battlemaster, it's typical for them to test their battlemasters to test themselves." she said and rubbed her chest. "You only got me because I was out of commission for a week." she said dryly, making Grunt laugh.

Thane came up and ran a head over her chest, making sure her ribs were okay. "I'm fine, love, all healed, just a little sore." she assured him and they shared a quick kiss.

"So what's the situation." she asked and turned back to Grunt.

"A scout party went missing here, say it may be the rachni. Seems crazy." Grunt turned and looked up at the sky. "The rachni! A chance to face the old enemy? Impossible to resist." he growled out happily.

Kolyat just stared at him. This man was crazy. He had heard about the rachni, they were large hard body creatures with a hive mind, kill one and the others already knew how to defend the attack. Hearing that is what they were facing, he felt even more nervous.

"Calm down, Grunt, we don't even know if it is the rachni. The last queen was peaceful, I don't thinks she would be responsible for this." Shepard argued. "I didn't see any activity when we approached." she added and crossed her arms.

"Agreed, but this place feels wrong, like an bad wound." Grunt nodded. "Our scans show the tunnels down there lead to a large central point. If we are lucky, it's a nest."

Yep this guy was crazy, concluded Kolyat. This is what his father and Shepard did for a living? Pit themselves against the dangerous unknown and hope for the worst?

Shepard nodded, "Then we could just wipe out the queen if it is rachni." she agreed and pulled out her newly acquired Javelin from the last mission. "Besides, I've been wanting to try this bad boy out." she said and loaded the gun. "What this, Grunt." she said and pointed at a bird flying way over head. She looked through the scope and let her breath out slowly, pulling the trigger. the bird was shot to pieces, only charred feathers remaining.

Grunt laughed, "That's a good gun," he said and pulled out his shotgun. "But I prefer to be up close and personal with what I kill." He shot the gun at a large rock and blew a deep hole into it.

"Nice… claymore?" she asked and he nodded. She put the sniper back and pulled out her plasma shotgun. "But I've seen better." She shot the same boulder and ripped a large whole through it. Grunt just stayed at the whole, then back to her, displeasure on his face. "Geth make the best damn guns." she said and stuck the shotgun back onto her back.

Grunt let out a dry laugh. "Aralakh company, move out!" he ordered and the brand of krogans moved at his command. "Grab what you need, Shepard. Meet me at the scout camp ahead." he told her and she nodded.

They rifled through the supplies, really only grabbing ammo and med-gel packs. "You feeling okay, Kolyat?" she asked him, seeing him shake a bit.

He nodded, "Yeah, just a little nervous." he admitted.

She nodded and rubbed his back. "It's common, the first few missions I went on I threw up before… and after." she told him, shocking him. The great Commander not only nervous, but vomiting from it. It made him feel a little better that she had been in the same boat he was.

They shouldered their supplies and headed after Grunt. He was waiting by a building that looks like it was about to go into a deep hole beside it. It didn't take a genius to figure out that half the camp must of dropped into the whole. "Why are you just standing here? You know I'll catch up." she asked Grunt, which made him smile a bit.

"I'm right behind you, Shepard." he told her and bashed his fists together.

She smiled under her helmet and stepped into the building. She bounced her weight on it, making sure it was stable, before she let the two drell follow her. "Careful were you step, stay on the high wall, we don't want to tip this thing over." she called back over her shoulder. They got about half way through when the metal let out a cry and slide towards the hole. Kat grabbed the metal frame of the door she nearly fell out of.

"Siha," Thane cried and went to move towards her.

"I'm fine," she said quickly. "Stay up there or this thing goes over the side." Just as she spoke it the metal slid off the earth ledge it was on and raced towards the bottom of the pit. "Shit," she muttered and pushed herself up towards them, and they catch her, holding on the side of the building now serving as the top.

As it hit the floor it jerked and threw her out of their grasp. She hit the opposite wall pretty hard and then was tossed out the window. She tucked her arms up over her face as the forced rolled her away from the building. "Thane, Kolyat?" she cried when she stopped and stood up.

They emerged from the building, a bit tossed around, but alive and uninjured. She ran over to them and into Thane's arms. "Thank fuck," she muttered against his neck as he held her.

"Shepard, you in one piece?" Grunt called down to them.

"No, I think I left my leg up there, can you find it for me?" Shepard said sarcastically. Yeah, she was defiantly hanging around Joker too much. "I'm fine, takes more than that to kill me, you know that."

Grunt let out a laugh.

"Keep in radio contact." she told him.

"On our way." he replied.

They started towards the tunnels. "What's that?" Kolyat asked, pointing to something yellow on the ground.

As they got closer it was clear it was a krogan. "Grunt… I found one of the scouts, dead for a few days." she told him over the com.

"Yeah? If he has his weapon grab it, he won't need it anymore." he replied.

Kolyat looked at his father. "Are all krogan so heartless?" he asked.

"They aren't heartless, they just… view things differently." Thane explained. "Grunt is actually nice once you get to know him."

Shepard grabbed the gun, a fire storm, and they continued, coming across some webbing around the corner. "That was one big spider." Shepard muttered and burned the web down. "Damn it… I hate spiders."

They jumped down the ledge and continued into the tunnels, burning another web in their way.

Kolyat was trembling again. It was dark down here and they had to use the flashlights on their guns. Thane moved and stood beside Shepard. "Sorry, I didn't think this mission would be so… dark and scary." she muttered to her lover.

He nodded, "Kolyat will be fine, he is just scared." he said and looked back at his son.

She nodded and pulled her helmet up enough to give the man a kiss.

"Oh come on, guys, it's already bad enough that we are in a dark creepy cave, please don't start making out." he whined behind them.

"Fine, fine," Shepard said and pulled her helmet back down. "Thane, you take the rear, keep an eye out with that night scope you have, Kolyat you stay in the middle, I'll lead." she ordered and they all took point. "Stay close, we don't need to get separated." she told them as they started to move.

They went up and around a corner and Kolyat jumped as something ran right in front of him. "What was that?" he asked and bumped into his father.

They scanned their lights around, but didn't see anything. "I don't know… but I saw something move." Shepard muttered and burned away the webbing to their left. It was a dead end and they turned to the right instead, coming upon some weird pods or egg sags.

"That's… gross." Kolyat muttered and Shepard started to burn them. They exploded, hitting her shields and taking them out.

"Oh… shit…" she said and burned back, ripping off the armor on her arm and cradling the scorched flesh.

Thane moved to her quickly and looked at it. "Doesn't look too bad… but I'm pretty sure that was acid." he said and put some med-gel on it.

Kolyat moved to her armor and wiped off the green junk on a thick rag before handing it back to her. She thanked him and slid it back into place. "So… stay away from the pods." she said and picked up the weapon she dropped. She burned down the rest of the eggs, at a greater distance, and made a path for them to go up an incline and to where there appeared to be an archway into another tunnel.

There were more eggs up here and… cords? "Looks like reaper tech…" she muttered as she bent down and gripped one of the cords in her hand. "Something isn't right here." She stood back up and burned down the eggs and webbing in front of them. They went through the arch and down a little ledge.

The room was huge. "Little cover… be careful." she warned, and sure enough when they started their way through the room Thane spotted movement up on a high ledge.

He pointed his sniper at it and shot, it didn't even flinch. "What is that?" he asked as he loaded another shot.

"Grunt, there is something in here with us." she warned him over the com.

"Aye, aye, Shepard." he called back and the three of them dove for what little cover there was.

The creator jumped down from the ledge as Thane fired another shot, making it miss. "What is that?" Kolyat re-asked his father's question.

"It looks sort of like a rachni… but different, rachni don't have guns on their heads." Shepard called back and pulled out her Javelin. She shoved combustion ammo into it and then took aim, firing a shot into the thing's gut.

It cried as acid and rachni swammers poured from its gut. "Shoot for the head, shoot for the head." she ordered. She looked at her team, Thane was on a higher ledge and using it to shoot at the swammers before they made it to them, Kolyat was opposite her, shooting at the husks that appeared and ran towards them. As if in slow motion she saw a blast from the rachni head towards him. Without thinking she dropped her gun and sprinted towards him, tackling him to the ground just as the blast whizzed over their heads.

Kolyat looked up at her shocked. "Watch your ass." she snapped at him and punched a husk in the face as it ran up to them. Another husk grabbed her from behind and sank its teeth into a chink in her armor. She let out a cry as it came away with the weave of the material that covered the chink and blood. She was sure there was also flesh in that thing's mouth. She held her hand to her side and was forced to the ground as a third husk joined the other two.

Kolyat pulled the first one off, but it just turned and tried to latch on to his throat. He barely heard the three shots over the blood pounding in his ears. The bodies went limp against them. He looked up at his father, who's sniper was trained on them.

Kat staggered to her feet and put med-gel on her side and on Kolyat's neck. When did he get bit? He couldn't remember in his panic. "That's it…" she muttered as she scooped her Javilen up and put it on her back. "Thane, cover me." she ordered and he nodded.

Kolyat couldn't believe what she was doing. She vaulted over the barriers in her way, dodging the blasts from the rachni, and was soon on top of it. Her fist pulled back and an orange blade appeared over it, only catching a glimpse of it before it was buried deep into the rachni's head.

"And that is how you kill a spider." she said and shook off the gunk on her hand, dancing out of the way of the forming pool of acid from the thing's exploded stomach.


	20. Chapter 20

"She's crazy," Kolyat said as he stared at the woman who just beat down a large giant spider with a gun on its head with her hands.

As the day progressed she only kept proving his theory. Her methods often involved her playing bait and trusting them to shoot down the enemies, or pulling a no scope sniper at close range, or just beating it to death.

"Siha, it is getting late." Thane told her after hours.

She nodded and took off her helmet, her hair sticking to her face with sweat. "We'll make camp," she said and lead them to an alcove that could be easily defended. Then she stripped out of her heavy armor and left her in the thick black clothes.

As they sat down Kolyat's stomach growled. Kat grinned at him and tossed him a pack of dry food.

"Sorry, can't make a fire in the dark, makes us a big ass target." she told him when he wrinkled his nose at it.

Thane moved so he was close to her and she leaned against him. "You two get some sleep, I'll take the first watch." he said.

"Wake me in two hours, I'll take the next one." she said and kissed his jaw.

A cold wind blew through the cave, making the two drell shiver. She looked up at them worried before she got an idea. She went to her bag and pulled out a sleeping bag that was compacted down to the size of a loaf of bread, but when opened it was big enough to wrap around them. "Kolyat, come here." she said and after looking at her for a moment he listened and sat down on her other side. She wrapped the blanket around the three of them.

"Shit, you're warm." he muttered and got as close to her as he could.

She smiled. "Humans produce a lot of body heat." she explained and wrapped her arms around Thane's chests.

Thane kept careful watch while his family slept, so when Shepard started twitching and mumbling in her sleep he didn't miss it.

"Stop…" she muttered and gripped him tighter, her face burring into his chest. "No… stop… don't… please… stop… please stop… Stop!" she jerked awake and sat bolt up, covered in a cold sweat.

"Siha…" Thane said and held her.

Despite herself, she broke down crying against him, full out sobbing.

Once she quieted down he brushed her hair out of her face. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

She trembled, but nodded. "I was… a little girl again… trying to take down the reapers… and I couldn't… They killed everyone, and I couldn't stop them… Then they killed you… and… I woke up." she muttered into his jacket, leaving out details, but that was pretty much what happened.

He held her tighter. "We can do this, love." he assured her.

She nodded and sat up straighter. "Get some rest, I'll take watch now. Hell knows I won't get any more sleep tonight." He looked at her worried, but settled down to get some sleep.

"Wake me if anything happens."

"I will."

Both of the drell awoke to the sound of gunfire. They sat up straight and looked around, seeing only darkness, but Kat was gone, the blanket was cold without her.

"Shepard," Thane called as he got up. No answer. "Siha." Still no answer. "Kat!" Now he was starting to panic, as the gunfire had stopped.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, just a couple swammers," she called back to their left. She stumbled into view and Thane went to her, checking her over for injuries. "I'm fine." she assured him.

"Then why do I smell blood." he asked, but the look in her eyes told him why. He tried to roll up her sleeves, but she jerked away from him.

"I said I'm fine, now go back to sleep, I'll wake Kolyat when it is his turn for watch." she said harshly and sat down on a rock.

"If you are fine then show me your arms." Thane replied and followed her, standing in front of her. He could smell the blood, had felt it when he had grabbed her arms.

She glared up at him, but stood up and rolled up her sleeve, revealing deep slash marks up her forearms. "Happy?" she asked.

He looked down at the wounds and felt his heart clench. He took her hand and tried to pull her back to their packs. "We need to put med-gel on them." he said and she pulled away.

"They are fine," she growled and pulled her sleeve back down.

Thane took a deep breath. "Why are you cutting yourself?" It was Kolyat who asked for him.

She looked at him for a long moment. "Kolyat, go back to sleep, you need your rest." she said calmly after a minute.

She turned to go back to her rock, but Thane grabbed her arm again, making her wince. "Med-gel, now." he said sternly and tried to drag her to the packs again.

Kat trembled in anger and pulled out the pistol at her hip and put it to Thane's head. "You fucking ass, let me go." she snapped at him.

He quickly dropped her and she took several steps away from him. "Siha…" he said, trying to calm her down and took a step towards her.

She shot at his feet. "Stay away from me." she snapped at him and retreated into the darkness.

"Dad… what was that?" Kolyat asked in shock.

Thane didn't answer, only stared at were Kat had disappeared. Something was wrong, and his siha was suffering from it.

'You can't save them, you can't save any of them.' Harbinger's voice echoed in her head, but it was another's face that was seared into her mind. 'You are nothing, you will always be nothing, a tool to be used, never worth anything.' She chocked back a sob and slid down the wall of the cave. The voice was right, wasn't it? She was a tool for the Alliance, that is how it started. Then after the Blitz where she refused to lay down and die she was promoted. For what? For having the desire to live the rest of the soldiers lost in the face of battle? She wasn't a hero, she was a savage with her only thoughts being to make it out alive. She hadn't cared if any of them made it out with her, it was only when she was a commander on the Normandy she actually felt an attachment to any of them. Joker, and Kaidan, and Anderson… those were her first friends. She bit back another sob as her shoulders shook. Then the council made her a Spectre, a tool for them to use. It was all she was, a tool. Now that she thought back on it, she couldn't remember a time that was just for her before Thane. Oh shit, Thane, the man she loved, that made all this worth it, and she had just pulled a gun on him for caring about her. 'Distance yourself now, when he finds out who you really are he won't love you, he will hate you, just like all the rest.' the voice said to her. That was it, that was all she could take, sobs started to break through her lips. She was sure the drell could hear it, everything in her echoed really bad.

She felt a hand brush her hair behind her ear, and she jumped. The owner of the hand sat down next to her and put an arm around her. "It's freaky how you can do that." she muttered and held onto him, ignoring the voice that told her not to.

He chuckled, "That I can sneak up on you?" he asked in his deep raspy voice.

"No… how you always know when to show up." she said and he kissed her forehead. "I love you…" she murmured, afraid he was going to be upset with her for pulling a gun on him.

He shifted and picked her up. "I love you too." he replied and carried her back bridal style to the camp.

"You're not mad?" she asked.

"The gun wasn't loaded," he said and she smirked, of course he noticed. "But I am upset that you were harming yourself."

She looked down, ashamed. "Sorry… it just… all gets to be too much…" she admitted.

He nodded and set her down by the packs. "All is forgiven, now let me put med-gel on the cuts." he said and she complied.

Kolyat looked at the complete change in mood from her. "Sorry, Kolyat." she muttered and hissed as the med-gel stung one of the deeper cuts.

He glared at her, not happy that she pulled a gun on them.

"It was an unloaded gun, Kolyat," Thane repeated without looking at him.

"That doesn't make it right, what if she remembered to put a thermal clip in it?" Kolyat protested.

"I'm a soldier, Kolyat, I don't forget to put thermal clips anywhere." she said and sighed when Thane kissed her forehead.

"Whatever…" Kolyat muttered, clearly no one was going to listen to him. "You two sleep, I'll take watch… And please don't start fucking." he pleaded.

Kat through a pebble at him and hit him in the back. Thane shook his head and shifted Kat so she was in his lap, leaning against him, while he leaned back against the wall. "Sleep, siha," he said into her hair, and she did.

'Never save them. Only cause them pain. Never save them. Worthless. Tool. Whore.' the voice shouted in her head as she slept and jolted awake. Thane was holding her against his chest, sound asleep. Kolyat was sitting on a rock a few meters away with his back to them. She wormed her way out of Thane's arms and went to Kolyat, sitting down at his legs.

"Hey." she said.

He only glared down at her.

"Look, I know you're mad, you have every right to be." she tried, but still he didn't answer her. She sighed, "Kolyat… when Thane approached me like that… it brought up some unwanted memories…" she said softly.

He scoffed, "What were you raped?" he said jokingly and looked down at her. Her face was sober, eyes looking like they were going to shed tears. "Oh my gods…" he muttered and looked at Thane, then back to her. "Does dad know?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I've buried my past, Kolyat… I am not the same person I was then."

"That's a load of crap." he said and slid down the rock to sit by her. "How… When did this happen?" he refined his question.

She looked up at the black ceiling. "It started when I was about five." she said after a moment.

His jaw nearly dropped. "What about your parents, didn't they do anything?"

She gave him a sideways glance, silently telling him to figure it out.

"Oh shit…" he muttered.

**A/N: Dadadon. I realize I didn't put an A/N last chapter, that is because I finished it right has I was running out the door to go to work, pretty literally. I meant to put that I know this mission happened earlier in the game, but I wanted Kolyat to be on it as a… bonding moment for him and Kat, nothing says family time like a dark cave to share your secrets. Now you guys also know a big part of Kat's past. Poor little Kitty-Kat. Oops, you weren't supposed to know that nickname yet, hehe. I'm so mean, to you and my characters. Gotta love cliff hangers. Also if my updates slow a bit it's because my work has me working 30 hours this week, wish me luck.**


	21. Chapter 21

When it was time to move they woke Thane up and he helped her pull her armor back on. She went to apologize again for last night, but he kissed her tenderly to stop her. "All if forgiven," he told her and they left the little camp.

"Grunt, you there?" she asked through the com.

"Yep, you just get up?" Grunt let out a laugh. "We've been up for hours."

Kat rolled her eyes. "The great krogan sleep?" she said sarcastically, making Grunt laugh again.

They walked for maybe ten minutes, hard to tell in the dark, before Kat stopped suddenly. "You heard that too, right?" she asked Thane lowly.

He nodded.

Heard what? Kolyat didn't hear anything.

Kat took off her avenger, checked the clip, and looked around. "Thane, get up, take out what you can. Kolyat, get behind that rock." she ordered and pointed where she wanted them. Once they were in place she let out a loud whistle and husks charged them, dozens of them, with cannibals making them up and rachni covering them from the back.

"Shit," she muttered and jumped out of the way of a husk as it reached her, shooting it down. She didn't pull her finger off the trigger as she turned to the next one and shot it down too. A husk tried to grab her from behind as she ducked to give her time to reload and Thane's bullet buried itself in the thing's head.

Kolyat noticed that he wasn't moving, frozen from fear and shock of the sheer numbers of them. He cursed and loaded his assault rifle and pocked his head up beyond the rock to help. One of the two rachni was shooting at Kat now, making her keep moving to avoid the powerful blows, hindering her ability to fire at the husks. Thane was busy trying to take down the husks as they tried to grab at the woman he loved, unaware of the husks climbing up to his ledge. Kolyat shot them down. They fell with a cry and he slammed his boot down on one that was still alive. Then he turned his attention to the rachni, but he didn't have a good view of them.

Kat let out a cry and he turned to see her being knocked off her feet by a charging husk. Thane shot it down. Kolyat moved and pulled her behind a rock away from the rachni and cannibals fire. "You okay?" he asked and shot down a husk that ran around to them.

"Yeah, hit my chest, but I'll be fine." she said and stood up.

"They are thinning." Thane told them into the com.

Thinning? There was still probably over twenty enemies.

"Keep it up, love," she told him and looked over the layout of the enemies. "Alright, Kolyat, time to earn your stripes." she said and he looked at her funny. "Human expression. I need you to work your way around the back of the battle and take out those rachni while I distract them. Thane doesn't have a clear shot."

He nodded and gripped his gun tight.

"Loosen your grip," she told him. "You will drop the gun if you grip it too tightly."

He nodded and tried to relax a bit.

"Get ready." she told him and brought out her plasma shotgun. "One…" she counted the blasts from the rachni "Two…" the second fire shook the rock they were behind. "Three…" after the third shot she left the cover and started shooting at the rachni, drawing their full attention.

Kolyat scurried to his feet and started making his way around the edge of the battle. He kept glancing nervously at Kat, who was dodging out of the way of blasts, shots, and hands. Several clipped her, wearing down her shields. He had to hurry.

It seemed to take forever for him to reach the back of the rachni, but he made it. Kat's shields were down, but her armor was taking away most of the damage from the shots. He shot down the first rachni and it died with a cry of pain. He fumbled with the thermal clip to reload just long enough that the second rachni to turn around to him. He shook and looked at his father, who was busy trying to cover Shepard from the enemies trying to get through her armor, and Shepard was busy too. No one was there to save his this time. He gulped as the clip clicked into place. He turned back to the rachni and unloaded the clip into it. It screeched as its stomach was shot open and acid and swarmers poured out. He shot down at the ground at his feet, killing them before they could reach him, and backed away from the acid puddle forming. He had done it. He killed them. His father and Shepard killed off the remaining monsters and joined him.

"He is defiantly your son, Krios." Shepard said and leaned into her boyfriend.

Thane smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Indeed, you are right, he has potential… but please don't send him out like that again." he agreed and she gave a short laugh.

"Come on, this cave isn't going to explore itself." she said and they started down the path again. She tossed Kolyat the fire gun, a reward for doing so well.

He smiled and held it ready. He wanted to make them proud.

The reaper spawn just kept pouring out of the darkness, not in as much mass as the last time, but it was starting to wear them down. Kat had removed her helmet from the heat and had started vomiting. Thane hovered over her worried as she emptied her stomach of bile and the rations from last night.

"I'm fine…" she tried to tell him, but her skin was clammy and her eyelids heavy. 'Yep… morning sickness sucks.' she thought bitterly and accepted when he offered to carry her.

"Grunt, Shepard is ill, we need to finish this up soon." he said over the com.

"Ha, Shepard would never fall prey to a mere cold, she is a krogan battlemaster." he said back, sounding slightly winded. They were probably in the middle of a fight.

"Thane… I'll be fine, I'm just a little queasy, those rations didn't agree with me is all." she told him and placed a kiss to his neck, causing a rumbling in his chest. "I'm already starting to feel better."

"You still look like shit," Kolyat muttered sourly.

"Not helping," she snapped at him and wormed her way out of Thane's arms. "I think I can walk now." she said and pulled out her avenger, the sniper would be too heavy for her right now.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, they came across the center chamber. After killing off the reaper spawn that guarded it they came upon a rachni queen that was chained up by reaper tech.

She told them her story through the dead krogan scouts strung up in webs all around her. How the reapers altered her and bred her, how her children couldn't hear, couldn't listen. She begged them to let her go, that she could have new children that would listen. Shepard felt bad for her, she really did.

"Shepard, we have to hurry, the rachni are overrunning us, we have to leave now!" Grunt shouted over the com.

Shepard looked up at the queen and then to the exit. "I'm sorry." she said before she turned to the exit. "Move," she ordered and the drell followed her out, leaving the queen to die in the cave. "I'm sorry…" she muttered when she heard the rachni let out a cry of despair. 'I can't risk them… not my family…' she thought as they ran.

They met up with Grunt and his company, but the rachni were right at their heels. "You guys go, I'll hold them off." Grunt said and pulled out his shotgun.

Shepard stopped and turned to look at him. "No, Grunt!" she cried and went to go back for him, but Thane's arm wrapped around her waist and dragged her out. "No, I can't… I won't lose another friend." she cried, Ashley, Mordin, and Thane's deaths replaying in her mind.

Thane managed to get her out of the cave and she turned away, tears in her eyes, but refusing to be shed, and started towards the Kodiak Steve had waiting for them. She was about to step in as she turned to look back at the cave entrance and saw Grunt stumbling out.

"Grunt," she breathed and before Thane could stop her she ran back to him and half supported, half dragged the large krogan onto the ship.

Once the door closed she set him down and looked down at her bloody friend. "You'll be fine, Grunt," she panted. "No one heals like you do, not even me." she smirked and leaned back against Thane.

Grunt let out a chuckle and looked around the very cramped Kodiak. His company alongside some of the best friends anybody could have, Shepard and her crew. He was one lucky son of a tank.

Once on the Normandy the krogan spread out in the cargo bay, not wanting to be so close together. Thane pestered Kat to go to the med-bay until she slammed the elevator door in his face. She knew what was wrong, but she couldn't tell him, not yet.

She entered her cabin and sat down at her terminal and decided to go through the unread messages she had been neglecting.

When the screen turned on it told her she had over fifty new messages. She signed and started sorting through them.

"Spam… spam… spam… thank you… spam… you're amazing… more spam… spam… letter from Thane…" she muttered drly, having gone through over half by this point. "Wait… what?" she muttered and opened the letter.

_Siha,_

_I write this with a heavy hand, knowing you will read this letter when I am no longer able to share my thoughts. I am dying, Siha. Perhaps because of the differences between our species, I can hope that time will treat you with kindness and dim the hurt of my passing to faded recollections that a drell would forever remember with perfect clarity. Selfishly, however, I could not leave this world without leaving a piece of me behind that would never fade._

_I once accepted my fate. Nothing remained but a shell destined to die. I only had to choose the when and how of my passing. I had refused to be confined to a bed, gasping horrible as my life beeped away to machinery I had no use for. I thought of my Irikah, broken, bloodied, and betrayed by my absence. Of Kolyat, small and afraid, bravely pushing at his eyes to stem the flow of tears I had entrusted him to cry… for both our sakes._

_The expectation to move swiftly to my end vanished upon uniting with your cause. You awake me, Katida. My heart quickened its sluggish beat if only to remain at your side and protect you with everything that I am. I was content to simply watch, take the time left given and praise all I know for allowing me to walk my final days with hope and certainty that I am worthy of more than my cold isolation, solely because you believed._

_I love you. If all else whispers back into the tide, know this for fact. By grace given me by the Goddess Arashu, I bid her divine protection to you, my warrior-angel, my Siha, to succeed in your destiny. To light your path through the coming darkness. To give you hope, when all seems lost._

_I will await you across the sea._

_Thane_

She was in tears by the time she finished reading it. It was his final words to her… for when he died… This is why she loved the man. He was corny, sweet, loving, and an ass. How could he think that time would lessen the pain of losing him? He was everything to her. He was her lover, her soul mate, the glimmer of something worth saving in the galaxy. He had given her a family, had made her finally realize that the act she had been putting on for over a decade wasn't an act anymore, she really did care about those around her, about him. It wasn't self-interest, it wasn't survival, it was love and compassion, two things she had feared as an adolescent.

The worst part of it was that he had completely opened out to her, and she couldn't do the same. If she did there would be hell to pay, both from her and Thane. And if he knew… would he still love her? She had told Kolyat enough to gain his forgiven. As a child her father had raped her, what she left out was that was only the beginning, the start of how it all happened. How she—

Her thoughts were cut off as the door to her cabin opened and Thane stepped in. He looked down at her and saw her tears. "Siha," he said worried and wiped the wet streaks from her cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked and her eyes went to her terminal. He followed her gaze and glanced over the letter. With a sigh he hugged her close, "That wasn't supposed to send." he muttered.

She smiled slightly and hugged him back, happy tears running down her cheeks again, undoing Thane's effort. "You are such a corny bastard… and I love that about you." she told him and they both shared a laugh.

He pulled back and looked at her, taking her face into his hands. She lifted a hand and traced the line going down his lips with her index finger. He wanted her, and she wanted him. The only thing stopping him from stripping her of her armor and taking her was the fact she needed to at least eat something.

He dropped her face and stood back up. "I shall go fetch us dinner and we can eat up here tonight." he told her and kissed her forehead.

"So long as I get desert." she said with a smirk as he left the room. Yep, she loved that man. He was the best guy in the universe.

She went back to going through the messages. "Spam… Spam…" she muttered and deleted the ads asking if she wanted to try a krogan steroid. Near the bottom there was a message from a Cecilia Gray. She stared at it for a long while before she opened it.

_Katida,_

_We got your message. Yes we are fine, those ships don't seem to be landing near us, probably because of our small population._

_I'm glad to hear that you are well. How is that boyfriend of yours, Thane? I want to meet him before it gets serious. It would only be fair if I got to meet him before he was my son-in-law. Can you at least send me a picture of him? I'm curious to know what he looks like. What color hair does he have? Eyes? How tall is he? Is he white?_

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Mom_

She sighed. Her mother thought Thane was human. She hadn't told her that, it was just her mother assuming and her avoiding a fight about it. She bit her lip before she started to reply.

_Mom,_

_It's good that you are okay, but they aren't ships, they are called reapers, they are alive._

_Thane is good, we managed to rid him of his illness and has joined us back on the Normandy. I can't send you a picture of him, because your terminal is too old of a model to receive one from mine. We've been over this._

_He doesn't have hair, his eyes are green, he is about 5'8, and please stop with the racist comments, who cares what his skin color is?_

_Kat_

"EDI, where is Thane?" she asked the AI.

"Thane is currently in the mess retrieving yours and his dinner." she answered.

"Thanks, warn me when he gets in the elevator." she said and hit some buttons on her keyboard. The screen flickered for a moment.

"Of course, Shepard… I think your terminal just cut offline." EDI said, clearly confused that she couldn't fix the problem, or see out of any camera that would show her the terminal in question.

"Sorry, no one is allowed to see this, not even my ship." she said and started typing swiftly. She was being stupid. She shouldn't dig up the past, but she had to know if they were safe. She bit her lip as she searched for them. Back in the gang there had been two people who had been her friend, despite what an ass she was to them.

Name: William Stevens.

Date of birth: June 10th, 2153

Place of birth: Dallas, Texas, United States of America, Earth

Location: New York City, New York, United States of America, Earth

She read the information to make sure it was him before searching his last known whereabouts. She gripped her keyboard as she read it.

Last seen the day of the reaper attack at Mac's General Store on 48 J Street. Whereabouts unknown.

So he was dead then. She knew that New York had been hit, but she had hoped… She didn't know and she was too scared to look up Maggie.

Thankfully Thane entered and gave her reason not to. She shut off the terminal and stared at the black screen.

"Siha, are you okay?" he asked and set the plates down on her desk.

She sighed. "I'm fine… I just… found out that some old friends are missing." she muttered and laid her head down on the desk. "What am I saving, Thane?" she asked quietly.

He rubbed her back, "You are saving the future of millions, but you can't save them all… I know that hurts, but it's true." he said and kissed the side of her head.

She sighed and got up. "Come on, let's eat." she said and they moved to the couch. "By the way EDI, thanks for doing what I asked." Shepard said sarcastically.

"Anytime." EDI replied in a smug voice.

**A/N: This chapter was brought to you by NeverEatRoses reminding you that roses have thorns and that would rip up your insides.**

**Seriously though she is a great author, go read her work and you do have her to thank for this chapter because I nearly scrapped it and started over.**


	22. Chapter 22

Shepard panted and looked over at her lover, who was laying at her side, trying to regain his breath with her. A trail of clothes lead from the couch to the bed. On the coffee table, half covered by her shirt, where the plates from dinner only half eaten.

Thane closed his eyes as his mind replayed last night.

_I force her to eat the less than appetizing rations, we would need to restock very soon. She is slightly paler than normal, but she assures me it is just ship life keeping her from the getting as much sunlight. She tells me that after the reapers we should go back to a desert and she can get her tan back, take Kolyat, a family trip. It makes me smile. She snuggles against me as she forces herself to eat the food._

_I love her I think as I wrap my arm around her shoulders and kiss her temple. She sets the plate down and leaned up for a kiss. I gladly give it to her and the kiss becomes passionate quick. I pin her to the couch as our tongues press against each other. She moans and it causes my groin to stir. I want her. I will always want her. It was a hunger that could not be stifled. We break apart long enough for me to pull her shirt off and her to get my jacket and vest off. I undo her bra, something I've gotten good at, and toss it over my shoulder. She tries to kiss me again, but I push her down and run my lips and teeth over her tender flesh. She arches into my caresses. I move my tongue over her pink nipple and she shudders._

_I go to suck on it, but she moved my head up and kisses me. I can't resist and pull her close, kissing her back. Our tongues fight for dominance and I growl at the challenge. Shepard loved to be dominated, but she was never one to just lie down._

_We move, her shifting onto my lap as we sit up. I slide my hands in her pants and force her on to her back long enough to pull the pants off. I look down at her, only in her little lace panties. I bend down and grip the fabric in my teeth and pull them down her legs. She looks down at me with lust in her eyes. I'm being kinky now and she knows what it means. It means that I want her badly, again and again._

"_EDI, set a course for the Citadel and if you interrupt us I swear I will air lock your core." she said before she pounces._

_I'm caught off guard enough that she knocks me off the couch and we land in front of her desk. Our tongues already in each other's mouths. Her hands pull at my pants until she manages to get them off and grinds against me. I pick her up and throw her onto the bed, over her in a split second and thrust inside of her._

Kat kissed him, nipping at his bottom lip. He smiled down at her and rolls so he is on top of her. "Ready for another go?" she asked and he answered by pushing into her.

"What time is it?" he asked after they finished, her lying on top of him, her head on his chest.

She looked at the clock. "A little after noon," she said and nuzzled the red skin on his neck.

"Shouldn't we be getting up?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"We are still just traveling," she whined and rubber her body against his. "I haven't had time with you, real time, since before I was put under house arrest. It's just been missions and killing."

He smiled and held her. "I love you, siha." he told her and nuzzled her hair.

"I know, your death letter told me." she said dryly and she propped herself up to look at him. "Besides," she referred back to his question "you finally get to have the great Commander Shepard all to yourself." she said lustfully and kissed him.

They spent the day it took to get to the Citadel in each other's arms. It was like it was before the Alliance came to put her on trial. They would spend the day lounging around with each other in their little desert trailer. She didn't like the heat, or the sand, but she put up with it for him, to help his lungs, and he did seem to get a bit better from it. Still, every time he coughed she hovered over him worried. When they slept he would wheeze and cough in his sleep and she would jerk awake and make sure he was okay. It meant little sleep for her, but she didn't care, so long as he was alive, she couldn't lose him.

When they made it to the Citadel she rented a hotel room that had a large bath in it. Thane looked at her funny from the bed, not understanding why she bothered when she had her cabin on the ship. She left the bathroom as the bath filled with steaming hot water and sat down at his side. "You should join me, ya know." she said and kissed his red frill.

"No thank you, siha," he said politely. "You did all of this just for a bath?"

She nodded, "Baths are really nice, but the ship doesn't have one, and it wouldn't really go over well on a ship anyways." she explained. "You don't have to stay, ya know, you can go spend some time with Kolyat, take him to the shooting range and teach him how to snipe, or go see a movie, hell I can get him into the Purgatory and you guys can have a father-son drink."

He shook his head, "Kolyat deserves some time without his father looking over his shoulder, I think he is actually in the Purgatory with James." he said and she gave a small chuckle.

"Let's home he has a good poker face then." she said and jumped up at the bath filled. She turned off the water and pulled off her clothes.

He watched her as she stripped away her clothing, leaving her beautiful skin bare. He could see the faint glow of her scars over her body. They tended to come and go depending on her mood. If they were showing it meant she wasn't happy and probably didn't like Kolyat with James in a bar. She slid in the water and let out a hiss as it scorched her skin. It felt good deep down in her tense muscles, but her skin protested. Once she was all the way in the water she let out a moan and leaned back. The heat seeped down to her bones, loosening her sore joints.

"I don't see how you can hate this, it feels amazing." she told him, her eyes closed.

"We are desert dwelling creatures, water is not something we seek out more than to drink."

"And yet you live on a world that rains all the time."

He chuckled. "I never said we were logical." he admitted.

Once the water went cold she got out and he laughed at her wrinkled hands and feet. "Shut up," she said and pushed against him.

"What happened to them?" he asked and took her hands in his.

"Osmosis." she said with a shrug. "The concentration in my cells was greater than in the tub so the water flowed into my cells, making them expand. It'll go back to normal later."

He nodded and kissed her hands. "Humans are strange creatures indeed."

She shoved him again, "We are soft and squishy, it's not our fault." she said and stuck her tongue out at him. He leaned forward before she could react and nipped at it. She epeed and jumped away from him. He followed and pulled her naked body against him, his lips on hers. They shuffled towards the bed and he laid her down, climbing on top of her right as there was a knock at the door.

They broke the kiss and he got off of her, going to the door. Kat went back into the bathroom and started getting dressed.

James was at the door, Kolyat behind him. "Hey, Thane, Lola here?" he asked with a forced grin.

"I'm here," Kat said as she came up to them as she pulled her shirt down past her stomach.

"Hey," James said and rubbed the back of his head. "You're good at poker, right?"

James and Kolyat had lost nearly five thousand credits at the bar and they wanted Kat's help to get it back. She agreed and smacked Kolyat on the back of his head. "Morons." she muttered and they all went down to the bar.

"Oh hey, it's our poker buddies, you guys want another round?" the group of humans they lost their money to asked.

"Poker? What kind?" Kat asked, playing the fool.

"Five card draw, it's an old game from back on Earth." the leader answered.

"Is it like goldfish?" she asked. In truth five card draw was her best game, hell she made up most of the ways to cheat in it.

"Yeah, yeah a lot like that. You try to match up your cards. You get five and you can put up to three back and draw three new ones a hand." he said with a smirk, this was going to be easy.

"Okay, I'll play." she said and sat down across from them.

In ten minutes she had lost nearly a thousand credits, betting high on hands that didn't have a chance to win. She looked at her watch. "We need to get going soon," she said, smiling at them. "How about we bet all in? All your credits versus all of mine?" she asked and they looked wary.

"How we know you got money?" one asked.

"Oh I'm Commander Shepard, I have the cash." she assured them and they all talked it over, then agreed.

They put all in and one smirked as he laid down a flush. "Beat that," he sneered.

She looked worried before she gave a large grin and laid down a royal flush. "Thanks, boys." she said as she gathered all the chips, the money she earned was double what they had originally lost.

They all stared at her as she and her friends walked off.

"How did you do that, Lola? A royal flush?" James asked once they were out of ear shot.

"Easy, I cheated," she said simply. They all stared at her. "Oh come on, they were cheating too." she said and they all kept staring. "Look, if a stranger asked you to play poker with actual cards, they are cheating. It's harder to get away with on a virtual system than with cards."

James laughed, "How did you get so good?" he asked.

"I grew up on the streets, swindling morons out of cash was a way to keep food in my stomach." she said with a shrug.

He laughed again. "Well how about I buy you a drink as a thank you?" he said.

"Su—" she started to say, but remembered the little being growing inside of her. "No thank you." she quickly changed and left the bar.

James watched her go and turned to the drell. "Did the Commander can-drink-anyone-under-the-table Shepard just turn down a free drink?"

Even Thane was a little shocked; she never turned down a drink from a crew mate.

They stocked up on supplies and left the Citadel by the next morning. Shepard spent the next day down with Tali to help her clean up an engine. She confined in Tali about the baby and the girl couldn't have been more excited.

"You're going to be a mother." she said in a low squeal.

"If I don't miscarry." Kat corrected. She wanted to be optimistic, but the chances were slim. "Damn, I hope I don't miscarry… I want his child, Tali…" she said and put a hand to her stomach.

Tali hugged it, "You're Commander Shepard, if anyone can have a drell-human baby it's you." she said, making Kat smirk.

"I'm not a miracle worker. I'm just… very good at my job." she said and hugged Tali back.

"What are you going to name it?" she asked.

Kat thought about it for a moment. "I like Joel for a boy," she said after a bit.

"And if it's a girl?"

She shrugged, "I've never met a female drell so I can't picture having one." she said and went back to cleaning the engine.

"Have you told Thane?"

She shook her head, "I plan to after the first trimester and the threat of a miscarriage is out of the way." she didn't look at her friend.

"Shepard… I'm sure he would want to know." Tali said and put a hand on her friend's back.

"I know," she said and paused in her work. "But if I miscarry, I don't want him blaming himself."

Tali couldn't argue with that. Thane would try and blame himself, that it was his fault, his genes, that made the baby die before it got to live.

"So… don't tell anyone, okay?" Kat said after a long silence. Tali nodded. "Thanks."

That night was new years on Earth and Garrus was using it as a reason to get drunk. He dragged Shep into the bar and whipped her up her favorite drink, a blend of krogan and batarian ale with a shot of human kiwi vodka. She took the glass and knocked it back before she realized what she was doing and quickly spit the liquid back out into the cup.

"Something wrong?" Garrus asked.

"No… no… everything is fine… I'm just… trying to cut back." she said with a nervous laugh. 'Why did I have to get pregnant right at the drinking holidays?' she thought bitterly.

"Cut back… it's your favorite drink." He said and looked Shep over and his eyes landed on the hand on her stomach. "Oh spirits… You're not… spirits, you are." he said and dropped the bottle of alcohol he was holding.

"Shut up," she hissed at him and looked at the crew members at the back of the room playing poker. "Yes, but people don't know yet, and I want to keep it that way for now." she gritted through her teeth.

"How long?" he asked and sat beside her, putting a hand on her stomach gently.

"A little over a month." she said and ran her hand over his.

"And you haven't told anyone?"

She shook her head, "I told Joker and Tali… well Joker found out, sort of like you did." she said and leaned against him. "I just want to make sure I don't miscarry before I tell everybody… I've seen Chakwas and from what she can tell the baby is growing fine, fast actually, I think that's the drell, but we still can't tell if it will make it…" she gripped her friend's hand. "Garrus… I want this baby… I really want this baby." she cried, finally breaking down. "I love it, more than anything."

Garrus held her as she silently let the tears fall. "I'm going to be an uncle." he chimed lowly when she calmed down.

She scoffed and pushed against him, he pushed back and knocked her out of the stool. She looked up at him with a glare before both busted out laughing. "Alright, Uncle Garrus, you get drunk enough for the both of us, I'm going to go see if Chakwas has any morning sickness pills." she said and got up and left the ship's bar.

She walked to the med-bay to find Thane there. Chakwas was examining his implants. It wasn't fully understood how they worked, being made by Mordin who wasn't around to explain it. From what they could gather it produced small nanite antibodies a lot like Shepard's, but these were more designed to fight off bacteria.

"Oh, Shepard, I have the pills you asked for." Chakwas said when she came in.

Thane looked at her confused. "Pills? Why would you need pills?" he asked and went over to her.

She ran a hand down his bare chest. "Just some vitamins to help boost my immune system against all the stress." she assured him and traces the black marks on his sides.

Chakwas handed her the labeless bottle and she pocketed it.

"It's not more of those energy pills, right?" he asked and brushed his hand against her cheek.

She shook her head and leaned against him. "No, you chucked the last of those out the air lock." Not like she would take them right now anyways, not when she was pregnant with his child.

"Thane," Chakwas said and he turned his attention to her. "I can find no signs of keplar in your lungs, I believe you are completely cured, minus a little scarring from the coughing."

Shepard smiled and kissed his cheek. Thane was healthy, alive, and with her. It was more than she could have ever hoped for.

"Thank you, Doctor Chakwas." he said with a polite bow of his head.

"If we could apply this to all drell we could—" Kat cut the doctor off.

"The implants are too expensive for most to be able to afford, plus the risk of implanting them is high. Those two together means this isn't a cure, it is a fluke, a very happy fluke, but not a cure." Kat said and took a step away from Thane. "We might be able to use this as a way to find a cure no one has had the chance to explore yet, but it is probably still years away."

"How much were the implants?" Thane asked, curious.

She tensed a bit and rubbed the back of her neck. "Well I can't give you an exact amount, Mordin had been pulling a lot of funding, but he never told me why but… he roughly pulled about two million credits."

Thane just stared at her. Two million credits in his lungs?

"If you think about it, it took four billion credits to rebuild me, so two million isn't that much…" she tried to help. He just shook his head, not being able to believe that Shepard had sacrificed so much to keep him with her.

She knew that look and wrapped her arms around his chest and held him. "Hey, don't look like that, it was worth it, every last credit." she said and kissed him lightly. "I'd give anything so I wouldn't have to lose you."

Chakwas watched them with a smile. They were prefect for each other.

"Now let's go get some rest so we can take down the collectors and get back to that little trailer in the desert, okay?" she said and he smiled.

Those months out there in the middle of nowhere, just them and a vast horizon of sand dunes were amazing. Then the Alliance came and took her away for trail. He had waited for her to come back, but she didn't and as his condition worsened he couldn't take care of it on his own so he left the little trailer and moved to the Citadel, stayed with his son for a month or so before he had to go to hospice.

His mind slipped back into the memory.

_I wake up to find the bed is empty. The smell of breakfast was floating around the bedroom. I sit up and move to the edge of the bed and a wave of coughs erupt from my lips. My lungs feel like they are on fire and she is there in a heartbeat. She rubs my back with one hand and the other rubs a salve on my chest. Slowly the coughs stop and the pain dulls._

"_Don't scare me like that," she muttered and hugged me._

_I look at her with love and sadness. She was worthy of so much more than I could give her. She desired a husband that could grow old with her, have a family with her. All I could give was just mere months of taking care of me while I slowly die. It killed me to have to watch her worry, to know that she couldn't even sleep at night. Every little cough would jolt her awake and make sure I was okay. I was being selfish, holding on to her, keeping her for my own. I loved her, more than anything and could not let her go._

_We share a kiss, smirking against each other's skin. There is a knock at the door, it confuses both of us. We live out in a desert, there wasn't visitors, we only saw other people when we went to market once a month. She got up and went to the door. I take a few deep breaths and follow._

_She stood in the doorway, talking to a five man Alliance team. She clenched her fist and I come up and put my hand on her back. She looks back at me and hugs me tight, her face buried in my chest._

"_I did nothing wrong, I have no connections with Cerberus, haven't since we took out the collectors." she said to them. "Now please leave so I can take care of Thane."_

"_Are you resisting arrest, Miss. Shepard?" the leader asked and I tensed._

_Arrest? They were trying to arrest siha?_

"_We are authorized to use force to bring you in." the leader said and she let go of him. "If you have nothing to hide, have done nothing wrong, then you will go to Earth for maybe a week and then you can return… If you've done nothing wrong."_

_They didn't believe her. How dare they. This woman had saved them from their species becoming a reaper, and they thought to reward her with handcuffs?_

"_Alright, I'll go." she gritted out and left for their room to pack her things._

_I shut the door in the soldiers faces and follow her. "Siha." I say, not knowing what I can do._

"_It's okay, Thane, I'll be back in no more than a month. There is enough food to last, and in case you run out I'll give you full access to my bank accounts." she says as she grabs clothes and shoves them into a suitcase._

_I watch her with a heavy heart and grab her arm as she goes to leave the room. "Be safe, my siha." I whisper and she hugs me again and we share a kiss._

"_I'll be back… this isn't goodbye." she said, her voice shaking a bit. We both know I don't have much longer and to be forced apart is painful. Every minute was a gift from the gods._

I feel someone touch my face and call my name, but I'm too deep in my memories. She is here with me now, I tell myself, this is only a memory.

_For the next two months I wait, I send messages to her, but have stopped getting replies over a month ago. The last I heard of her was her telling me that all their reasons for keeping her there were bull crap. My sickness worsens and I finally can't deny that I must leave our home. I have Kolyat come and get me. He helps me pack my few things and a holo of Shepard._

_Then we leave and go to the Citadel. The doctors say that the desert has slowed my disease, but it was worsening. I only have forty five percent of my lung functions. Things get dizzy easy, I have trouble doing my daily exercises. I wake every morning, check my mail, hoping for news from Shepard, and sending her a message when I know there won't be an answer, then I'd do my exercises._

_I continued to worsen and decide to go to hospice, not wanting to burden Kolyat. I must hang on. Her words still ring in my ears. "This isn't goodbye." I had to hang on, to see her again, tell her I love her, something we never shared amongst each other. It didn't feel like it needed to be said, but now that the end was coming it was all I wanted, to tell her that I loved her, with all my heart and being. I want to hold her in my arms again, to kiss her cheek, have her smile up at me. There isn't enough time, there would never be enough time._

_Then the news of attack on Earth reaches the Citadel. Washington D.C. was the place that was hit the hardest. That's where Shepard was, the capitol of her country. It caused my chest to tighten when Kolyat tells me that her name wasn't on the list of refugees. He promised he would try to locate her, but it didn't look good. No… Shepard couldn't be dead… she couldn't leave this world. I was the one who was supposed to die, she was supposed to live a long happy life. Find someone who could grow old with her, have a family with her. She deserved it. She didn't deserve death. Once I was alone in my room I cried. "Kalahari, please do not take this warrior from the world… Arashu, please… protect your siha…" I prayed and started to cough._

_I went to sleep, not literally, but the time after that was a haze. It wasn't until I heard a rumor that the Normandy had been docked on the Citadel with the Commander that I started to reawaken. I sent her a message, telling her where to find me, but I had lost hope that she would receive it. Then less than two weeks later I was in the lobby of the hospital, doing my exercises, when I smelt that familiar strawberry shampoo. I spin around and she is in front of me. A pain stings on my cheek and it takes a few seconds to realize that it wasn't part of the memory._

Chakwas stared at Shepard, shocked that she had slapped the drell. He blinked and looked down at her. "You back to the present?" she asked and he nodded. "Good."

"Is it always so hard to pull him out of it?" Chakwas asked and came over to check my cheek. Shepard had hit me hard, an apparently several times.

"No, that one was harder than most, most of the time I've just have to kiss him." she said and shrugged. She had kissed him? He didn't remember it. "Anyways, thanks, Chakwas." she said and went to leave, Thane followed, carrying his jacket over his arm.

"Shepard," Chakwas stopped her. "Don't forget your examination tomorrow."

She nodded and left. Thane stayed back. "What examination?" he asked.

Chakwas shook her head, "Doctor-patience…"

She didn't have to finish, Thane left. Of course she wouldn't tell him. And Shepard wouldn't either if she hadn't already. It didn't stop the worry. Was she still injured from the geth?

**A/N: It took me forever to decide what I wanted to do with this chapter, but I like this chapter all and all. Review! I like to read them.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I am uncharacteristically putting an A/N at the beginning because I don't want to ruin the end with it. Nothing really new going on with me to tell you even though I know you only love me for my writings. Ha, just kidding… or maybe not, I don't know.**

**So, anyways, I have decided to allow you guys to ask me or any of the characters questions. You can do so in review or if you are nervous about the question you can do it in PM and I'll reply to it in the next A/N without giving your name. I will try to answer any question in or out of character so long as it doesn't give spoilers.**

Over the next month they didn't do any major missions, just side ones to recruit for the cause. Shepard was bending over backwards for anyone who asked for her help in return for resources or guns. She was quickly forming the largest force in history. No matter how many she got though, one question burned in her mind. Was it enough?

She sighed in the med-bay as Chakwas checked over the baby. "I see feet," she said and Shep turned her head to the monitor showing a fuzzy picture of the inside of her womb and a close up of the baby. It didn't look like any fetus she had ever seen. It was green in tint for one. She smiled though, this ugly little thing on the screen was her baby. It would get the cuteness factor as it developed.

"The baby is growing at an alarming rate for humans, but I read up on drell and their pregnancies only last three months, then the mother lays an egg and it hatches within the next month… I have no idea if you will lay an egg, Shepard, but if you do I'm going to start calling you Birdy instead of Kitty." the good doctor said and Kat twitched at the name.

"Please don't call me that," she gritted.

Chakwas was about to apologize when Kaidan walked in. "Doc, do you have anything to help my mirgrain go a… no way…" he trailed off as he saw the baby on the screen. "Shep… you're pregnant?" He couldn't believe it.

She got off the bed and went up to Kaidan while shhing him. "Keep it quiet, Thane doesn't know yet… actually only Joker, Tali, Garrus, and now you know, so zip it." she glared at him.

"How far along are you?" he asked.

She sighed, "About two months."

"But the baby is at about the three month mark in development. The drell blood is speeding it up." Chakwas piped in.

Shep looked back at her in shock. Three months, that was the first trimester, the sign that maybe this baby would make it, that she'd get to have Thane's baby. It made her heart beat faster. "You mean…"

"Yes, I believe you to be past the risk of miscarrying due to genetic defect." Chakwas assured.

Shepard quickly went to leave the med-bay. "Where are you going?" Kaidan asked.

"To go tell my baby's daddy." she called back, ecstatic.

"I've never seen her so happy." Chakwas mumbled and Kaidan nodded in agreement.

Thane was in live support, meditating with Kolyat. She burst in, making Kolyat jump, but Thane remained still.

Kat plopped herself down in his lap and he smirked and wrapped his arms around her, never opening his eyes. "Thane…" she was suddenly nervous. Instead of saying it she turned to Kolyat. "Can you give us a moment?" she asked.

"Sure, I'll vacant my room for you two." he scoffed, but got up. "Just please… don't… do anything." he said and left.

When the door shut he opened his eyes and looked down at her. "Is something wrong, siha?" he asked, his deep voice making her weak-kneed. She loved the effect he had on her, he was the only one who had it.

She shook her head. "Thane… we are going to—"

Joker cut them off. "Commander, we have reached out destination and you better hurry there is a battle going on down there, looks like the mecs turned hostile and are shooting up everything."

She cursed her luck. "Later…" she said and went to go get suited up. "Suit up and meet me at the Kodiak, bring Garrus, I don't give a damn if he is calibrating the meaning of love, he is coming." she said and left.

It took less than five minutes for all of them to suit up and be in the Kodiak, on their way to save the day.

From the moment their feet touched the ground they were under fire. They all ducked for cover and finding sniping points from different heights. Thane went the highest, on top of a platform about twenty feet up. Garrus ducked into a stack of crates, and Shepard stayed on the ground. This is why she picked the two of them. Three snipers was the best option when you were dealing with mecs, mecs tended to explode.

Shepard put cryo clips into her new baby, a Javelin. Damn she loved this gun already. A mec was coming up from behind crate and she shot through it, but she missed. Garrus gave a laugh. "Shut up, the delay time is different from my mantis." she snapped at him and loaded another clip, disruptor this time. She lined up the shot again, but a bullet sunk into its head before she could fire. She looked up to see Thane smirking at her. "Haha, very funny." she stuck her tongue out at him and flicked him off.

The three kept it at long range, slowly creeping forward and down into the base. Progress was slow, but no one had even gotten hit yet. That is what Shepard wanted. She was sacrificing speed for safety. No way was she losing this baby because of some mec.

By the time she allowed them to stop for the night in an alcove the moon was raising high in the sky and they were all panting heavily. Garrus went to check and make sure there weren't enemies near them. This left Kat and Thane alone. He helped her take off her heavy armor and set it by her bag.

"Thanks… that shit gets heavy." she said and rolled her shoulders.

"I imagine, that is why I wear light armor." he said and unrolled the sleeping bag they would share.

"Oh please, like you would let me charge into battle in anything less than heavy armor." she snorted.

He thought about it and nodded, "Yes, but only because you like to throw yourself in front of bullets."

She shoved him and he let himself fall back on to the sleeping bag, taking her with me. She giggled, something she would only allow herself to do with him and him alone. "You are such a corny bastard." she said and snuggled into his chest.

"I love you too," he said and kissed her temple. "Now… what was it you were going to tell me in live support?"

She shook her head, "After the mission, we don't need to be distracted." she said and pulled the bag over them. "Garrus, wake me up in two hours and I'll take watch." she called out to him.

"Okay," he replied from somewhere in the darkness.

Shepard settled in beside Thane and was asleep within minutes, the pregnancy making her become tired easier. Thane wrapped his arm around her and forced himself into a light sleep. She was right, they didn't need to be distracted and they also needed sleep.

Three hours later and Garrus woke up Thane. "Hey, let her sleep. I took a three hour watch, if you do too then we can cut out her shift… she needs the rests, doesn't get enough of it lately." he said softly.

Thane nodded and slipped out of the warm sleeping back. Kat let out a whine of protest and rolled away from him, curling up into a ball since she didn't have him to hold onto. He smiled at her and tucked her in. "Sleep well, siha." he said and kissed her temple.

About two and a half hours into his watch he felt something jab his lower back. It was Shepard, he had heard her get up. "Go sleep, dumb ass, I'll take watch." she said as she went down on her knees and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind.

He looked back at her. "You need it more," he replied and she leaned down and gave his lips a peck.

"I've had plenty of rest." she said against his skin.

He nodded and got up. He couldn't deny that he was tired. there was only about half an hour left, he could at least catch a little sleep. He laid down in the sleeping bag and soon was asleep.

There was a pain in his shoulder that jolted him awake. Garrus was pulling him into cover, away from the mecs that were surrounding them. It was light out, clearly more time had passed than half an hour.

"Shepard," Garrus called.

Thane looked around quickly as he pulled the turians claws out of his shoulder. She was asleep against the pillar they were keeping watch at. She opened her eyes and looked around.

"Shit," she muttered and dodged behind the pillar as a mec started shooting. 'I fell asleep?' she thought and beat herself up for it. 'Damn it… this is my fault.'

Thane went to grab his gun, but it was by the sleeping back several meters away. Garrus had his pistol as shot down the mec that had her pinned. She ran to them and slid into the cover. Thane grabbed her and held her tight. "Are you okay?" he asked, his hands stroking her cheeks.

"I'm fine," she assured him and pulled out her pistol. "Damn it… this is my fault…" she cursed as she shot down another mec. "I'm sorry, I just… I don't even remember falling asleep… I don't know… shit." she said as she unloaded the clip and ducked back into cover to load another.

"It's okay," Garrus said and glanced down at her stomach, just a fraction of a second, but Thane caught it and looked at it too, praying that she wasn't wounded.

There was nothing out of the ordinary with her stomach. It was slightly rounder than it had been, but she had gotten her appetite back that the side effects of the pills made her lost. It was expected that she would put on a bit of weight. He was glad for it, she had gotten thinner from before her incarceration.

The wave of mecs slowed and they used the moment to carry their weapons. Kat went for her armor, but a heavy appeared into view and she dodged back into cover.

The heavy kept approaching Shepard, despite how many bullets Thane and Garrus put into it. Shepard skirted around the pillar, trying to keep out of site. without her armor she didn't even have shields, if the heavy caught her she was done for.

She gripped her shot gun and charged up a shot. If the heavy kept coming she was going to have her ass hanging out to the other mecs and she would be finished anyways. Her only shot was to take out the heavy now. Taking a deep breath she moved so she had it in view and shot it right in the head.

Thane was on the move in a second and protected her with his body, his shields taking the blows as he forced her back into cover. They looked at each other, panting. they knew they needed to get the heavy down, now.

Kat charged up another shot and he loaded a fresh clip into his gun. Without having to signal to the other they stepped out of cover and opened fire on it. The heavy shot a missle at them, but they both rolled away from it, away from each other. It went down and exploded.

Thane was sent back and was flung against the wall. It dazed him and he sank to the floor.

"Shepard, Thane," he heard Garrus cry. Followed by a loud cracking down. He looked up and saw the pillar was falling down, and with it went everything it had been holding up. Concrete and metal fell down around them. One piece hit Thane in the head and knocked him out.

"Shepard… Thane…" he heard someone call. There was movement near him and then someone was shaking him by the shoulder. "Thane… Thane, can you hear me? Wake up, damn it, wake up." the voice growled and he opened his eyes.

"Thank spirits." Garrus muttered as his face came into focus.

He looked around. They were surrounded by rubble. Little fires were here and there, probably from dead mecs or wires that had been ripped out of the walls in the collapse.

"Siha…" he muttered as he looked around. Suddenly he came more into focus. "Where is Shepard?" he asked. Garrus had been calling her name too, that meant he hadn't found her.

"I don't know, you two were thrown back from the blast." he said and helped the drell to his feet.

He winced, his ankle hurt, was probably twisted, but right now all that mattered was finding Shepard, siha.

They called her name as searched through the rumble. The area was actually rather large, Shepard had been thrown into the main part of the room according to Garrus.

Garrus climbed over a large slab on concrete and stood on the top. "Oh shit…" he muttered lowly as his whole body froze. He found Shepard, and it wasn't good.

Thane joined him and his heart stopped. Shepard was on the ground, on her stomach, face to the side, in a pool of her own blood. A metal pole several inches thick protruded from her left shoulder and another from her right lower back.

"Thane…" she muttered softly and he quickly was down beside her and took her hand in his. "Thane…" she muttered again.

"I'm here, siha," he said softly.

"I'm sorry…" she gurgled, blood thick in her throat.

He ran a thumb over her cheek. "Sorry for what?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

She was in shock, her body trembled against pain she couldn't feel.

"I… I'm sorry." she said and stared to cry. Blood trailed out of her mouth and he wiped it away.

"Joker, this is Garrus, Shepard is hurt, badly, we need to be picked up now." Garrus was shouting from nearby.

"Siha, you will be okay, I promise." Thane told her. There was so much blood, the scent of it thick in the air around them. "You will be okay."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry…" she cried and tried to squeeze his hand, but she was too weak.

"Siha, you are going to be fine,"

"No…" she shook her head more and tried to get up. He quickly stilled her and she threw up more blood. So much blood. How much more could she afford to lose?

"Siha, be still, you will be fine, but be still." he pleaded, fear leaking into his voice. Memories of Irikah's death flashed in front of his eyes. Coming home, finding her cold bloody corpse. So much blood. 'No,' he thought and started to cry. 'No… please don't take her… please…' he begged Kalihira.

"I'm sorry… Thane…" she said and her eyes started to drift close.

"No!" he shouted, and brought her back just a little bit. "No… Don't die… damn it… don't leave me… please…" he sobbed. He cursed, he never cursed, but all his composer was being thrown out the window. The woman he loved was dying and he couldn't do anything to stop it. "Kalihira… please don't take her… please." he sobbed, his shoulders shaking.

"Thane…" she said, bringing back from the dread that was threatening to consume him. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "No… no you're not, because you won't die… please don't give up." he pleaded.

She shook her head weakly. "No… I'm sorry… I… I killed our baby." she said and her hand went limp in his.


	24. Chapter 24

The blast rang in her ears as she was flung through the air. She turned to land on her feet, second nature since she had been on the streets. Right as she went to brace her arms and legs pain shot through her shoulder and abdomen. She collapsed and felt something slide through her body. Through it. She laid there, wide eyes and shaking for several long moments. Then, when she tried to move she felt blood soak her shirt and her pants between her thighs.

The feeling brought back horrible memories, but she bit them back and reached a hand behind her. Sure enough she felt a metal pole sticking out of her back. A devastating blow to her stomach, blood in between her legs, she knew what it meant, and felt her heart break and tears streamed down her face. The baby was dead. "No…" she muttered and tried to get up, but her shoulder screamed in protest and she threw up blood. She turned her head so she could see her shoulder and another pole was jutting from it. "Shit…" she muttered and just lied still.

Slowly things started to get fuzzy, the world around them dimmed as the sun moved away from the windows to the room they were in. Then she heard Garrus calling her name. Thane's voice joined in soon enough. Good, they were safe. She wanted to respond, but her throat felt tight and wouldn't let out a noise louder than a whisper. She tried to scream, but her body didn't respond.

She wished the sun would came back, the room was getting cold without it. Her feet felt numb and her fingertips were starting to feel the same. "Thane…" she muttered and saw his boots come into view by her head. "Thane…" He bent down and stroked her face. She looked up at him with a bit of a struggle.

"I'm here, siha," he said.

"I'm sorry…" she muttered, thinking of the dead child that lay in her torn womb.

His thumb ran over her cheek. "Sorry for what?" he asked calmly. How could he be calm? She had killed their child.

She shook her head and trembled against the cold chill on her skin. Thane was burning up, was he sick? Drell were normally cool. Somewhere deep in her mind she knew that Thane wasn't hot, she was just very cold from blood loss.

"I… I'm sorry." she said and stared to cry. Something trailed out of her mouth and he wiped it away.

"Joker, this is Garrus, Shepard is hurt, badly, we need to be picked up now." Was that Garrus? He sounded funny, his voice was all slow.

"Siha, you will be okay, I promise." Thane told her. He sounded funny too, slow like Garrus and left a ringing in her ears. "You will be okay."

She shook her head, trying to clear it of the ringing. "I'm sorry…" she cried and tried to squeeze his hand, but no matter how hard she squeezed his hand just seemed to squishy so she couldn't get a grip.

"Siha, you are going to be fine,"

"No…" she shook her head more, the ringing was getting worse. She tried to get up, to get away from the ringing. He quickly stilled her and she threw up more blood. She laid down in it, too gone to realize it.

"Siha, be still, you will be fine, but be still." he told her. Was that fear in his voice? No… no it must be disgust, or angry, for killing their child.

"I'm sorry… Thane…" she said and her eyes started to drift close, the blackness consuming her.

"No!" he shouted, and the ringing in her ears spiked. "No… Don't die… damn it… don't leave me… please…" he sobbed. She felt something wet hit her cheek and wondered if she was bleeding from the ceiling now. Was that possible? Everything was so fuzzy. "Kalihira… please don't take her… please." More droplets hit her cheek.

"Thane…" she said, wanting him to know that she hadn't meant to kill their child. "I'm sorry."

"No… no you're not, because you won't die… please don't give up." he pleaded and more droplets hit her cheek, one rolled down her neck.

She shook her head weakly. "No… I'm sorry… I… I killed our baby." she said and her hand went limp in his.

Thane looked down at her shocked. Garrus came over and ripped off her lower pants leg on each side. Thane looked up at him confused and Garrus motioned to his com. Thane turned his on, it was crackly, but it still worked.

"Tie the cloth to the end of the poles." Chakwas told them over it.

Thane took one of the clothes and did what she said. "Okay, not what?" Garrus asked.

"Now, you need to pull her off the spikes, the cloth will help to clot the wounds, but do it quickly, it is going to hurt a lot." she said.

Thane looked down at her and swallowed a lump in his throat. It looked so much like what happened to Irikah.

"Thane," Garrus called and shook his shoulder. "Stay with me." He knew how drell lost themselves in vivid memories and the drell was probably remembering his late wife. "She is not going to die, but you need to stay with me."

He nodded and together they pulled her off the spiked. The cloth was pulled through her wounds and they untied them from the poles and kept them there.

She let out a blood curdling cry from the pain. Both men winced, but at least she was awake.

"Joker, we are moving to the pickup site now." Garrus said over the com.

Thane gathered Shepard in his arms and cradled her against his chest. "Siha, stay with me, okay? You have to stay awake." he said and she nodded weakly.

"It hurts…" she muttered.

"I know, love, I know." he said and tried not to jar her as they started to move to the entrance to the building. Thankfully most of the mechs this way were dead.

"It's cold… can we go back home now? I miss our home." she muttered.

It wasn't cold out, it was probably in the higher seventies. "Sure, just stay with me, okay? Keep talking." he said, his breath becoming a bit heavy as they ran.

"Talking about what?" she asked.

"Anything,"

"Hm… I like thanksgiving, a holiday back on Earth. I used to go to homeless shelters on it and they would give me a big hot meal. Mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, turkey, ham, pineapple… I never ate the pineapple, I'd give it to this stray dog that loved to follow me around." she muttered. "I loved that dog. The ugliest mutt you've ever seen, but he was like me, without a home, without anyone to care…"

"What happened to the dog?" he asked. He had no idea what a dog was, or a mutt, but he had to keep her talking.

"Jeff killed him, because I didn't listen, said he didn't want another mouth to feed, another bitch that wouldn't listen. He beat the dog with a bat until he stopped moving. It was the first time I saw something die."

Thane's brow furrowed. Jeff killed what he assumed was her pet? Why? What could she have done that deserved that? And who was Jeff?

"Who is Jeff?" he asked.

"He was the one who took care of me, he would give me food and let me sleep inside if I was good and listened to him."

"What did you do that made him kill the dog?" Thane grunted as he ran upstairs right behind Garrus. Joker was going to pick them up from the roof.

"I didn't listen. I didn't do what he told me to."

He wanted her to explain further, but they made it to the roof and quickly ran into the cargo-bay of the waiting Normandy.

Chakwas was there and looked Shepard over. "Get her to the med-bay." she ordered and Thane and her quickly moved through the parting crowd and up to the elevator.

Chakwas worked quickly and hooked her up to an IV with a bag of her blood type connected to it. Then she pulled out the blood soaked blood. Kat screamed and Thane was quickly by her side, telling her it was alright, that she was going to be okay, to just hang on.

It took hours and several transfusions, but they got Shepard stable. "Kat… I don't know how many lifes you have left." Chakwas muttered as she sat down in her chair.

Thane left Kat's side. She was sound asleep, heavily dosed on pain killers.

"Doctor Chakwas…" he said and sat down beside her. "Who is Jeff?"

Chakwas looked at him funny. "Jeff?"

"While we were getting her out, she said someone named Jeff killed her dog because she didn't listen… who is he?" he asked.

"Oh… Thane… I can't talk to you about her past." She said and sat up a bit straighter.

"Why not?" he asked. "What are all of you keeping from me? What is she keeping from me?"

"Thane, she wants to tell you, but she can't, I can't, no one can." Chakwas defended.

"It's okay, Lynn." Kat said and they looked over at her. She was supposed to be sleeping. "Thane… I'll tell you what I can." She said and he moved back over to her. "My past is… bad… When I was seventeen some of it caught up to me and I was arrested. Rather than put me in jail awaiting death row, the military stepped in and gave me an offer to join the military. They did it all hushed. If you have a criminal record you aren't allowed to join, and I had a really, really long list. They paid off anyone who knew me and took me away to boot camp to mold me into their perfect soldier. Someone who was strong and pleasing to the eye, someone who could rise through the ranks and better help humanity." she sighed and closed her eyes as she remembered the metal box they would stick her in after her worst rages. "They never expected me to become a Specter, above their law. But after the blitz and I became an icon they saw the potential."

She shook her head. "I'm getting off topic."

"And close to things you can't say." Chakwas added.

"Anyways, the reason we can't tell you is because even we have been paid off not to say anything. Chakwas could go to jail, and they would probably kill off anyone that was told."

"Who are they?"

"Ha, that right there is what I can't answer." she said and winced in slight pain. "Chak, can I get some more morphine? My stomach is killing me."

She looked up at Thane, "When all this is over, when they don't need me anymore, I will tell you, I promise." she said as the morphine hit her system and she fall asleep.

He stayed at her side until he was sure she was completely asleep. He looked away and around the room, unable to stop the memories of how Irikah had died, how close Katida had been to dying too. He spotted a small tray on the bed next to Shepard's, a cloth draped over something on it.

He went over to it and lifted the blanket up. A small curled up… thing… laid on it. It took him several minutes before he realized the gray-green creature, no bigger than half the size of his palm, had been his child.

Chakwas came up beside him. "Most of the time the human body will absorb the baby at this early stage, as a way to gain back nutrients… I think Shepard's body rejected it because it was half drell." she said as he reached his hand down and stroked its head with his index finger tenderly.

It was his baby, never to live, never to draw breath, never open its eyes. Carefully he picked it up in hands and moved so he was leaning against Shepard's bed. A tear slid down his cheek. It was his baby. "Do you know the gender?" he asked.

Chakwas sighed and shook her head. "No, the baby wasn't far enough along, the only way I could find out is genetic testing… and that… I hate to ask, but would you let us use the fetus for scientific research?" she asked, changing from calling it a baby to distance herself from it.

Thane looked down at the tiny creature in his palm. His baby. Chakwas wanted to cut it apart for science? His child.

"Thane…" she put a hand on his shoulder. "I know it is hard… but if we can study it, then maybe we can see why its DNA allowed it to not be rejected." She rubbed his shoulder. "It might help increase your chances of having a child."

Thane didn't look up from the child in his hand. Shepard was asleep and this window was closing, he had to be the one to make the decision. He sighed and set the fetus back onto the metal tray and covered it back up with loving care. "Sure… but please… treat him with dignity." he said and slumped into the chair by Shepard's bed.

Chakwas nodded, knowing this was hard on him. She took the tray and stored it in a cryo freezer for the next time they were on the Citadel.

"Kalihira, please watch over our child." he spoke lowly and let himself drift off to sleep, his hand holding Shepard's.

**A/N: There you go. I've actually had this chap done for a while… just been making all ya wait. But I hit over 200 hits on the last chap and that pleases me enough to get me off my lazy ass and actually post this.**

**My offer still stands to allow you guys to ask any questions to the characters and at request will be answered in or out of character. If you do not wish it to be publicly known that you asked the question then PM me and I will reply without giving away who you are… I'm surprised no one asked me how I got the unusual name Katida. Rose knows, but she knows a lot of things you guys don't, such is the benefits of her spending the night playing ME on my HD TV while I write.**

**Oh, that reminds me, I have a chance to win a 40' flat screen. It's this raffle were they float rubber ducks down this river and I bet on a duck and named him Kolyat, wish him luck! I want that TV, damn it.**


	25. Chapter 25

Kat drifted in and out of a coma state for nearly two weeks, bleeding from between her legs the whole time. It worried Thane, but Chakwas assured him that she was fine, her body was just expelling what it created to carry the baby.

He sat in front of her private terminal in her cabin, hands intertwined in front of him, meditating. Her terminal beeped and he opened his eyes.

1 New Message

From: Cecilia Gray

To: Commander Katida Shepard

He stared at it for a long time. He didn't recognize the name. Curiosity was urging him to read the letter. Was it someone from her past? Her words from before flashed into his mind; _"It's nothing… I just found out someone I used to know is missing."_ Was this person how she had found out? Was this person from her past? Kat couldn't tell him her past, he understood that, but what if he found out on his own, through legal means?

The door opened, his window closed. Kat limped in and he was quickly to his feet beside her.

"What are you doing out of the med-bay?" he asked and supported her.

"Can't stand the smell of clean death anymore." she said and went to her terminal. She saw the message and let out a long sigh. With Thane's help she sat down in the chair.

"Who is it?" he asked as she opened it.

She shook her head and hit reply. "My mom," she said simply and started typing a response.

"May I read it?" he asked, he hadn't looked at the screen to protect her privacy.

She shrugged, "I guess. She is asking about you anyways." she said and scrolled up a little so he could read the message while she typed.

_Katida,_

_Why haven't you replied to my last message? It had been nearly three weeks. If I said something to offend you I am sorry. We just started getting to know each other again, I don't want to mess it up._

_I didn't mean that this Thane was a bad choice, only that you seem to rely on him a lot. I still don't know anything about him. What does he do for a living? You said that he had been married before and has a son, right? How old is he? What's his name? I know there isn't a way for you to make it back here for us to meet him in person, but you must promise that you will stop gallivant across space after those big ships that you will let us meet him. Henry wants to meet him too._

_We want to see you too. You haven't stopped by in years. We miss you, all of us._

_Love,_

_Mom_

Kat saw he was finished and scrolled back down to finish her reply.

_Mom,_

_They. Are. Not. Ships. They are reapers, they are alive and want to harvest the galaxy and turn us into one of them._

_As much as I know it will worry you, I haven't responded because I was badly injured. I landed on a metal pike that went through my stomach, but I'm on the mend now. The nanites in my blood make me heal really fast._

_Thane is the most amazing guy I've ever met, he is actually reading this as I type it. His current employment is aboard my ship on the combat crew, he is a sniper so he watches my six. (That means back)_

_Yes he is a widower, his wife passed away a long time ago. They have a son, Kolyat, who is seventeen. We have really started getting along. He actually doesn't look much like Thane, he is taller and I'm guessing he looks like Irikah. You guys would love both of them, they are sweet and kind and strong. I seriously lucked out. I don't deserve it, but I'm not going to pass up the one good thing I've got._

_I promise after the threat I will try to find time to visit. It depends if they let me._

_Kat_

"Who are they?" he asked again.

She shook her head and sent the message. "I can't tell you that." she said and leaned back in the chair.

"Why is her last name different?"

"She remarried. Shepard was my father's last name. Her husband is Henry Gray." she said and pulled up her webcam. "Damn… I look like hell." she muttered. She had bags under her eyes and she was pale. Her eyes were white and she looked like she needed a long shower and a hot meal.

"What happened to your father?" he asked as he helped her stand and go into the bathroom.

She shrugged, "Last I heard he was in jail."

"Why?"

She shook her head. "Just know he deserves it… Can you help me strip?" she said and he started unbuttoning her shirt and slid it off her shoulders. Her pants and panties soon followed, leaving her only in the bandages across her stomach and shoulder before his eyes.

"Are you sure your bandages can get wet?" he asked and she nodded.

Thane leaned her against the wall and started to strip off his clothes, knowing she would need help standing up, let alone bathing. "I can get Tali to help if you want, so you don't have to get wet." she said but he chuckled.

"Some things are worth a bit of discomfort." he repeated his words from earlier.

She smiled and eeped as he turned the cold water on. "Cold, damn it, turn the hot water on." she shivered under the falling water.

He smirked and pulled her fully under it.

"Ass," she muttered and shivered against him. Goosebumps rose on her flesh and her nipples hardened from the cold.

Thane was thoroughly enjoying it, but did turn the water to a lukewarm.

"You're still an ass," she muttered and leaned most of her weight on him. Things still weren't as stable as she would have liked.

Thane grabbed her shampoo as he moved them out of the direct path of the water.

"I can bathe myself, ya know?" she muttered, ashamed that she needed help.

"Siha, let me take care of you." he said so lovingly that her knees trembled. Hopefully he passed it off as her being weak. He lathered the shampoo into her scalp, working it into her hair and into the roots. Once satisfied he moved them back under the water and rinsed it out, careful to keep her head tilted back so the soap would run down her back and not get in her eyes. He had washed her hair a few times before, having always been fascinated with it, and she would never admit it, but she liked it when he did it. It made her feel cared for and like a princess. Princess Shepard. For some reason that didn't have quiet the scary effect that Commander Shepard did.

He ran his fingers through the lightly matted hair, rinsing the soap out of it. Next came conditioner. He put some on his hands and ran it into her hair. The knots loosened from the liquid and her hair hung down straight. Kat already had straight hair, but soaking wet it was still a few inches longer than when it was dry.

"I need to cut my hair," she said against his skin. It was already past her shoulders, way too long for her liking, too much work.

Thane let out a low humming noise from his chest that she could only feel. "I like your hair." he said and let the strands fall over his fingers.

"Yes, but it's a pain in the ass, soon I'm going to have to wear it up, I'm shocked the Alliance haven't yelled at me for it yet." she said and felt him shift again, but her eyes were closed. "One I was eighteen my hair was down to my shoulder blades and the Alliance had me put it into a bun… I shaved my head before the next morning. I'll be damned before I put my hair into that gay ass bun, how the fuck am I supposed to wear a helmet with it anyways?" She felt him chuckle as he was probably imagining her doing that. His hands started to roam over her body, slick with her bodywash. "Hey, Thane?"

"Yes, my siha," he said as he continued to lather her body.

"I'm sorry." she said and her eyes cracked open.

"What for?" he asked and his hands slipped down her stomach, down below that little patch of hair, down to her lower lips and slipped inside of them. He rubbed her clit, using the excuse of hygiene to arouse her.

Her eyes drifted closed again as he swirled his index over the bundle of nerves. "For getting hurt… for killing our child." she muttered and he paused and pulled his hand away.

"Siha, it wasn't your fault." he tried to sooth, but she shook her head.

"If I hadn't fallen asleep…"

"The pregnancy made you tired,"

"That is no excuse, I fell asleep on my watch, that means that everything that happened because of it was my fault." she sobbed and clung to him, crying into his chest. She couldn't hold it back anymore, act strong when she had lost her child, their child.

He held her as she cried and finished rinsing off the soap and conditioner. Then he carried her like a child to their bed and set her down on it. She let go of him long enough for him to go get her a pair of sleeping shorts and a baggy shirt. He dressed her in it, wearing a pair of sleeping pants for himself.

"I love you, siha." he said and stroked her cheek, red from crying. "Nothing will ever change that. I am sad that our child never got to live, but we are going to have a long happy life together, we can still have a child and I can only hope that he will be half the person you are."

She smiled and held onto him tight, her face buried in his neck. She was the strongest person he had ever met. Something in her past had broken her, he didn't know what, but he knew she had healed hunched over. From what he could gather someone, this "they," had covered it up, taught her how to act like she was never broken. The people who saw that woman didn't know Katida Shepard, they only knew Commander Shepard, the act they taught her. This woman crying in his arms, guard completely down, shields lowered, this broke woman was Katida Shepard. She was the woman he loved, because despite all the pain, she had managed to keep going, to fight, and had taught him how to do the same.

The door to their cabin opened and a very angry Chakwas stood in it. "Commander, you should not be out of the med-bay!" she snapped, causing Shep to tense and immediately retreat back into her shell. "You are injured and need rest, not to go running off across the ship hiding from me." She motioned James in behind her and he picked Shepard off the bed and hang her over his shoulder.

Thane let her go, if only to see her reaction. "Traitor!" she shouted at him and beat James's back. "This is mutiny!"

"Yes, yes, now hold still." Chakwas said and stuck a needle of morphine deep into her ass, making her cry out and let out a string of curses his translator didn't even recognize. Then she was out, limp against James. Thane got up and left with them, planning on spending the night by her side one way or another.

**A/N: History Final Exam tomorrow? What exam? Pshh, no of course I've been studying, what makes you think I wouldn't be studying? Oh the six page chapter that I typed up in the last twenty-four hours? Oh that is nothing. You have no proof!**

**To Orchidellia: I have no life. I go to school, work, finish homework, then play Mass Effect on harder and harder level difficulties. Sometimes I even switch to the worst weapon choice for the fight to challenge myself. I took out a gunship with a pistol yesterday. Back to your question: I just write as the ideas come to me, which is why a lot of it is unedited, because pausing to fix a grammar mistake completely crashes my train of thought. If you ever RP with me you will notice the same behavior. Rose and I are writing a Mass Effect RP with sister Shepards (which I will be posting once the drafts are done), me being the older and her the younger. She will write like a paragraph and I response with a page. Basically when I get on a rant I don't normally stop very easy.**

**This chapter was written listening to Raise Your Gun by Deadmau5 and scanning planets for their minerals to upgrade my shit in ME2 while I deny that I have an exam tomorrow and have three quizzes and one test to do before midnight, which it is 9pm right now and I still refuse to face that fact…**

**Summary: I write fast because I don't edit nearly as much as I should, I rant like a mother fucker, and it gives me a reason to stall on doing my homework.**

**P.S. I didn't win the TV *cry* Kolyat, how could you betray your own mother? I should have named the duck Fenris, Fenris never let Hawke down… wait no he did run away after you fuck him… *goes to emo corner***


	26. Chapter 26

Thane spent the night on the small med-bay bed on his side while she curled up against him. She hated this place, hated the smell, the feel, the look, the chill that ran down her spine from the cold sterile air. She convinced him in her groggy, drugged state to sleep beside her, his body blocking the chill and his scent masking what she called the smell of clean death.

Behind the morphine induced sleep her eyes twitched against her eyelids. Thane's scent filled her nose, but he wasn't coughing, hell she couldn't hear his breathing at all. Her mind sought a reason and landed on the memory of him taking on the assassin. Her grip tightened as she watched him and that bastard, Kia Leng, twirl about, exchanging blows.

_Thane got the better hand and knocked him down. She went to move to him, to yell at him for taking such a risk when he was sick. He looked back at her for a second, then he pushed her behind him and charged at Leng, his gun pointed and shooting as the man charged back. Kat watched it in slow motion. Every step seemed to take a thousand years. The next thing she knew she was staring at the metal blade that appeared through the drell's back._

_Her heartbeat quickened and seemed to stop at the same time. She looked down as pain shot through her. She saw the hilt of the sword going through her stomach, when she looked up she was staring at Kia Leng's smug face. Slowly, she dropped to her knees in front of Thane's body, then fell all the way down, draped over him. It hurt, it felt like she was on fire. She shut her eyes against the pain and when she opened them Thane was gone, the room was gone. She was in the middle of space. Below her was a planet that she was slowly being pulled too. She looked around frantic to find something to save her. Her eyes stopped when they landed on Thane, standing only feet from her, the wound to his stomach bleeding, and holding a child in his arms. It looked like a drell, but it had hair._

"_You killed us," Thane said._

"_No…" she muttered. "No. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." she sobbed. "I love you."_

"_You killed us." the baby said, but it wasn't a drell anymore, or a baby, it was her as a six year old. Blonde hair, bright green eyes, tiny naked form, blood on her inner thighs, it was her. "What's the matter? Ashamed? It is what we are, whores, nothing but little whores." the child spat at her._

_Thane bent down and kissed the child, frenched her. The child struggled, but Thane just held her tighter and he started undoing his pants._

"_No," Kat cried and shut her eyes tight. "No, stop it, stop it!" she screamed._

_Her eyes jolted opened when she felt someone grab her face. In front of her was the human reaper, face inches from her, staring at her with its three eyes. "Haven't you figured it out yet, Kat? Kitty-Kat Kat Kat. Haven't you figured it out? It's you, it's always been you, just a tool, our tool, Kitty-Kat Kat. You will not save them, Kat, Kitty-K-a-t" it said in a deranged voice, yet oddly familiar. Then it pushed her towards the planet and she screamed as she was burned alive for the second time._

Thane jolted awake when he heard her scream. Her nails ran down his scaly chest. "Siha," he said and took her hands in his. He kissed her forehead and shook her, trying to wake her up. "Siha, wake up."

She didn't, she just kept screaming, her eyes closed tight, hands jerking to get out of his grip.

Chakwas ran into the med-bay tried to see what was wrong. "Shepard, wake up." she said and they both shook her.

She struck out, hitting Chakwas in the nose with a strong punch, knocking the woman back against her desk, blood poured down from her nose. She kicked Thane, knocking him off the bed.

"Siha," Thane said, trying to calm her down.

She looked at him and trembled. She turned to the window behind her bed and tried to go through it. She gave it a confused look as to why there was something stopping her. Her hands went against it and she pushed, but it didn't budge.

By now half the crew was up, having heard the screaming. Shepard looked at all of them, looking at her through the window, talking, whispering. She pushed off the window and found Garrus's arms wrapped around her. She tried to get away, tried to kick him when Thane grabbed her legs and held her between them. "What's going on?" he asked.

"I don't know, she just started screaming and then started attacking us." Thane said and they both grunted in effort to keep her still. The bandage around her stomach was starting to become red with her blood, the wounds reopened. "Siha, calm down, you are reopening your wounds."

Chakwas came up to them and stuck Kat with a syringe, injecting her with morphine.

Kat let out a scream and jerked against them until the drugs took effect and she was sucked back into sleep. They set her back onto the bed gently and Chakwas had them strap her down into restraints. Thane didn't like it, Shepard being tied down to the bed like this, but they couldn't have her freaking out again. What happened? She was just fine earlier that day.

Outside the med-bay Liara bit her lip as she debated something. Once she decided she went into the med-bay. "Thane… can I talk to you?" she asked.

He looked at her surprised. In all the time he had been on the ship Liara had shown little interest in him, and he, being his normal anti-social self, hadn't sought to talk to her. They had said little more than greetings to each other. He nodded and followed her into her room, his hands clasped behind his back. "How may I help you, Miss. T'Soni." he asked politely.

"I… I know about Shepard's past, I know why she can't tell you." she said and then explained. "You see, back when we took down Saren she had a cipher in her mind from the protheans that she couldn't make sense of. So I offered my aid and she allowed me to look into her mind, and well… I never told anyone but I saw more than just the cipher."

"You saw her past," he said and she nodded.

"And I… I would like to show you." she said and he thought about it.

After a moment he shook his head. "When she wants to tell me she will."

"But she does want to tell you, she has told you so." she said and then explained again. "I hacked some of the surveillance system."

Thane sighed and looked at her monitors. He wanted to know. Shepard couldn't tell him, but this was a loophole. No one knew that Liara knew, he could find out and no one would know. He closed his eyes and nodded. "Show me."

She moved closer to him. "I'll warn you… it isn't pretty." she said and he nodded. She closed her eyes and when she reopened them they were completely black. "Relax your mind." she said and he did just that, taking a deep breath and letting their minds meld together.

_The images were fuzzy, choppy. He was looking down at a little blonde haired girl, curled up on her bed, crying. The child couldn't of been more than five. The door to the room opened and a man slipped inside. He couldn't see his face, Shepard must not be able to recall it. He moved to the bed and sat down on the edge. "It's okay, Katty." he said and stroked her hair. She flinched at his touch. "Remember what I showed you last night?"_

_Slowly Kat nodded._

"_I want you to do that again, okay?" he said and ran a hand down her side. She shook her head and he frowned. He gripped her leg and jerked her pants off._

"_Daddy, no, please, it hurts really bad." she cried and tried to crawl away, but he pulled her back, climbing over her. He roughly gripped her hips and pushed her down onto him and she let out a cry of pain._

_Thane looked away, fist clenched. How dare this man harm a child, his own child, siha._

_The image changed. Thane was in a small kitchen. A woman was at the stove cooking. "Mommy?" a small voice called from the doorway. It was the little girl again, it was Shepard._

"_Yes, sweetheart?" the woman replied without looking at her._

"_Daddy… he did it again…" she said quietly._

_The woman paused and sighed. She set the spoon she had been stirring with down and went over to her daughter. "Hunny, we have discussed this before, your father would never do that to you. Remember? We even asked him and he said he didn't do it. Why must you keep lying?" she said as she bent down to her height._

"_I…" the girl paused and nodded "Okay."_

_The next image was a bus station. Kat was hiding behind a crowd of people with a little pack on her back. When no one was looking she crawled inside the cargo hold._

_Then it was an alley. Kat was standing on a turned over trashcan and trying to reach into a dumpster. She looked slightly older, maybe seven. She had also lost a lot of weight. Her once plump rosy cheeks were sunken in and pale, her hair was dull, eyes were dead. A police officer spotted her from the streets._

"_Hey," he shouted and she jumped, falling off the trashcan. The man started to walk towards her and she ran. He gave chase, chasing her down a twist of alleys until she ran into someone's legs._

_The new man looked down at her and picked her up._

"_Is that your child?" the police officer asked._

"_Yes, sorry, she tends to run off." he said, lying through his teeth._

"_And who are you?"_

_The man gave half a smirk. "I'm Jeff," and with that he turned and left, carrying the trembling girl._

_The next images were even choppier. It was all coming through a haze. Parties, drugs, sex, a lot of sex. Some were when Kat was very under age, crying as two or three men had a go at her. As she got older she cried less, eventually by the time she appeared to be a teenager she learned how to gain control with it. She would charge money for it, or drugs, or anything she could use. _

He was forced out of the memories so fast he nearly lost his balance.

"Sorry," Liara said and helped steady him. "That is all I had seen between the two times before her mind kicked me out."

"It is alright…" he said, trying to absorb all this. "Thank you for showing me." he bowed to her and left the room. The med-bay was empty again, sol for Shepard asleep on the bed, the restraints over her chest, abdomen, and two places on her legs. The sight of her made him breathless. She was beautiful. How could anyone bring themselves to hurt her? He moved beside her and held her face in his hands. "I love you." he said and kissed her forehead. "I will always protect you, my siha."

**A/N: Another short chapter for me, but a very emotional one. Now you guys know Kat's big secret. As well as being confused by hell as to what is going on in her head with that dream. Ah I love it, I answer one question and leave you will another.**

**Still taking questions if anyone wants to know something not spoiler related.**

**Oh my god, no damn it, I finished Mass Effect 2 and now that I want to Import Katida into 3 I. Can't. Find. It! Damn it, where did I put that disk? You! Readers! Help me find it!**


	27. Chapter 27

When Shepard woke up the next day she refused to speak, hell she refused to respond to anything. She just stared up at the ceiling, her eyes unfocused. It worried Thane. After the episode last night, and now she refused to speak, eat, move even. "Siha," he tried and held her hand in his.

For the first time that day she moved. Her hand pulled out of his grasp and hit him lightly on the cheek. She let out a long sigh and closed her eyes. "I've been slipping up." she said and sat up, unbothered by her wounds.

"What do you mean?" Thane asked, hovering over her, making sure she didn't open the wounds again.

"I'm slowly becoming Kitty again… I can't afford that, the galaxy can't afford that." she said and looked back up at the ceiling. "They need Commander Shepard, not Kitty-Kat." She shuddered as she remembered the dream.

"_Haven't you figured it out yet, Kitty-Kat?"_

She had figured it out, or at least she thought she did. The reaper in her dream was all the humans that had been sacrificed. She couldn't save them, but she could save the rest. A tool for the Alliance.

"After this… after the reapers, I think I'd like to try and have a normal life." she said and looked back down at Thane. She shuddered again as she remembered the image of him trying to rape her six year old self. But that wasn't Thane, he would never hurt her. 'Yet he is ten years older than you, that's only eight years younger than your father.' a voice in her head said. It sounded like the reaper had. No. Thane wasn't like that. He was sweet and kind and she loved him.

"We could go back to the trailer." he suggested "Go back to our life there, just us."

She smiled at the idea. "That would be nice, but I think we'd need a bigger house." she said and his brow furrowed. "I want a normal life, Thane. With children and a family, friends, a…" she blushed a bit "husband."

He felt his heart skip a beat. He would love nothing more than to make Commander Shepard instead be called Commander Krios. Kat Krios, it had a nice ring to it.

She shook her head, "But I'll never be normal, I'll either be this leader they want or a fucked up little bitch." she muttered slowly and slid off the bed and onto her feet. "I need to stretch my legs." she said and he stood with her. "Alone." she said firmly and he looked confused. She kissed his cheek. "I just need some time to think." she assured him and left the med-bay.

Shepard went up to the bridge and asked Joker how far out from Thessia they were. While she had been out they got a request from the councilor to go check out some ruins.

"Should be there by tomorrow, would be quicker if we weren't creeping along to avoid the swarms of reapers just begging for your autograph." he told her and she smacked him lightly on the head.

"Thanks, Joker," she said and started to leave.

"Hey, Commander?" he asked, turning around in his chair. She stopped and looked back at him. "Get some non-drug induced rest, you look like hell."

She let out a short low laugh, "You know me, I don't sleep without waking up screaming." With that she turned and left. She didn't want to sleep. Sleeping meant dreaming. Dreaming meant her mind got to dwell on things she could ignore when she was awake. She also needed to eat and her bladder was killing her from not going all day.

Okay, first stop: the bathroom. Then the med-bay to apologize to Thane, then let him force her to eat. She always managed to keep more down when he was sitting there coaxing her.

She went to the crew deck and slid into the woman's bathroom. Her fingers fumbled with the button to her pants. Joker must be doing barrel rolls again, the room was swaying a bit. She let her pants fall down around her ankles and sat on the toilet. She laid her elbows on her thighs and bent forward a bit, the swaying was starting to nauseate her.

"EDI, tell Joker to knock it off with the barrel rolls." she ordered.

"He is not barrel rolling, Commander." she replied.

Not barrel rolling? Then why was the room swaying back and forth.

"Should I get someone to assist you back to the med-bay, Commander?" EDI asked.

"No…" she said and stood up, pulling up her pants and flushing the toilet. "I'm…" She stumbled against the wall as the room jerked. A metal beam fell through the ceiling, knocking her off her feet. She fell face first onto the ground. Her ears were ringing and her stomach felt like it was on fire. She ripped her shirt off and the bandages, trying to stop the fire that burned at her. Her fingers encountered something warm and wet, the more she dug through the flames the more of it she encountered.

Hands were gripping at hers and she jerked her head up. Thane's face looked back at her, his eyes filled with worry. His lips moved, but she couldn't hear what he was saying over the pounding of the flames in her ears.

_Can't save them._

It was a reaper's voice that spoke. A reaper. "Joker…" she muttered and tried to pull away as Thane picked her up bridal style. "Joker, get the ship out of here." she said lowly. Adrenaline started to take over. "Joker," she called loudly and flipped out of Thane's grasp. She ran to the elevator and stabbed at the button for the CIC. "Joker, get the ship out of here." she said and kept jabbing at it.

"Siha, you aren't well." Thane said as he slipped inside and the doors closed.

She shook her head and paced the small length of the elevator, mumbling to herself.

Thane wrapped his arms around her and she clung to him, still mumbling. "Siha, it's okay." he tried to calm her.

She shook her head.

"We just need to get you to the med-bay."

She shook her head again and jerked away from him when the door opened. "Joker," she called and ran down the bridge. She gripped the back of his seat. "Joker, get us out of here, now."

He looked up at her. "Why?" he asked and looked at her hands in shock. They were covered in blood. "Shepard, what happened?" he asked and tried to turn the chair, but she wouldn't let him.

"Get us out of here," she repeated. Blood was trailing down from her mouth, but she couldn't give in right now. The voices were getting closer.

He looked back forward just as a reaper appeared in front of them, ready to fire. "Shit," he said and quickly swerved out of the way. "EDI, get us out of here." he said and started hitting buttons.

"Understood," she replied and they jumped deep into space.

"Damn…" Joker said and let out a relieved breath. "Commander… how did you know that reaper was coming?" he asked and looked back at her.

She was shaking, Thane behind her, trying to help support her. "It told me…" she said before she blacked out.

**A/N: Very short chapter for me, but it needed to be cut off here. The next chapter will probably be really, really long because it will more than likely go from when Shepard wakes up all the way through the next mission. Then I can start getting into the shit I want to be writing about and I'll start updating a lot, like even for me a lot.**

**Now to business: As encouragement to get you guys to review I'm going to be a complete bitch. I have three ways the story can branch off after the end of the game story plot. And in spirit of the crappy ME3 endings I have named them Blue, Green, and Red.**

**Blue: Sucks, no one will like it and it will be very, very painful for all the characters.**

**Green: Ew, not that bad, but everyone is a little worse off. It is the closest thing to what could happen in real life as any of them.**

**Red: The happiest ending of all of them where the heroes actually get their dues.**

**Now when the time comes to split (I will warn you the chapter before in an A/N) if I have less than 3 reviews per chapter you will get the blue ending. 5 reviews per chapter or more and you will get the Red ending. Between 3 and 5 reviews per chapter will get you the green ending.**


	28. Chapter 28

_When Shepard opened her eyes she was still on the bridge of the ship, but no one else was there. Joker was missing from his seat, EDI was gone, and everything seemed… dead. She turned around and jumped. A husk was crawling down the bridge towards her. It was wearing Joker's clothes, Joker's hat. She backed away from it and bumped into something. She looked behind her and it was a banshee wearing the tethered remains of Laria's suit. It swiped at her and she jumped out of the way and ran past the crawling husk._

_As she ran the walls of the Normandy were ripped apart by the collector's ship. She ran faster, she had to get… she didn't know, she just knew she had to run. A brute came out from the war room. It had Wrex's scar on its face. She dodged as Wrex charged her and made it into the elevator._

_How was she supposed to fight her friends?_

_She panted and backed away from the elevator door as it carried her downward. Her back hit something and she really didn't want to turn to see what, she really didn't want to look. But she did. Garrus stood behind her, now a Marauder and only recognizable by his visor. He tried to grab her and she raised the pistol that was suddenly in her hand and fired. His body fell to the ground. As it hit the floor he returned to normal and looked up at her with questioning eyes._

"_Why?" he choked out before he died._

_She cried. She had just killed her best friend. The door opened and two cannibals grabbed her. They were James and Kaidan. She didn't know how she knew, but she knew it was them. She shot them and they two fell to the ground and changed back._

"_Why?" they both asked her._

"_I don't know…" she said and went to life support. Thane had to be okay, he just had to be. The door opened and she froze in her tracks at the sight. Kolyat laid down on the ground, Thane stood by the closed off window, a gun pointed at his face. The holder of the gun was her, was Kitty-Kat._

_The blonde looked back at her with an evil grin. "This is who we are. Murders. We can only hurt." she said with a laugh and shot Thane. He fell in slow motion._

"_No!" Kat cried and ran to him._

_Kitty grabbed Kat's hair and jerked her back. "We are whores and murders. Who are we to love?" Kitty pressed the gun to Kat's temple. "He died because you wouldn't let go, it is your fault, all their deaths are your fault."_

_Then Kitty was gone and she was the one holding the gun to her head. "It's my fault…" she muttered and cocked the gun. "It's my fault… I won't let you die… I'll let go." Then she pulled the trigger and everything went white._

"She's waking up." someone said and strong arms around her tightened their grip.

"Siha, can you hear me?" another voice called. She nodded her head stiffly and the body against hers let out a sigh of relief. "You're okay, siha, you're okay."

Everything started to come back into focus. She was in the med-bay, again. Thane was sitting on the bed sideways behind her, holding her as Chakwas wrapped fresh bandages around her stomach wound.

"Shepard, I think you need to see a physiatrist." she said and the commander shook her head.

"I'm fine," she said weakly.

"No, siha, you're not." Thane said, worry clear in his voice. "I found you trying to claw your stomach open… Siha, my love, something is wrong."

She shook her head again. "I'm fine… I just… I'm fine." she protested.

His grip tightened, "If you won't go for you, if you won't go for me, then please go for all the people you are trying to save, because if this continues… Siha, I don't want to think about what would happen if you keep this up." he said and she felt him kiss the side of her temple.

She struggled to look up at him, look into his eyes, needing to see him to know that he wasn't dead. In the black depths he saw love and worry. It broke her heart to see him so. She nodded, "Fine." she muttered and he sighed in relief. "Only to you… I won't speak to anyone else."

He agreed to it, he didn't have a degree, but this was a big step in what Shepard was willing to do.

Chakwas allowed them to leave and go up to the Captain's Cabin, but Shepard wasn't allowed to walk. Thane carried her and set her down on the bed, sitting on the chair beside it.

"Okay… tell me what is wrong."

She sighed and looked up at the stars. "You will think I'm crazy." she muttered. Silence stretched between them so she spoke. "I keep hearing… voices… well not really voices… it's like a little buzzing in the back of my head. It keeps saying how hopeless it all is, that no matter what I do everyone will die, starting with those I care for the most." She looked away from him, not wanting to see his disdain for how crazy she was. "The buzzing gets louder in my sleep. It's started manifesting as the human reaper we killed. It keeps saying that I can't do it, that it's hopeless, that no matter how hard I try I will never be more than… than what I was." she barely caught herself from going into her past.

He sighed and took her hand in his. "Siha, I know about your past." he said and she tensed. "Liara had seen it when you two melded minds before the first Normandy was destroyed and she showed me… technically it was a loophole… I'm sorry, I should of asked you first."

She laughed and jerked her hand away. "So you know then?" she said and pushed herself off the bed and onto her feet. "You know that I am just a little run away bitch? That I'm just a little druggie whore? That the 'best humanity has to offer' raised through the ranks by fucking her superiors?" she was crying now, but she was also angry, her defenses going up against the expected hurt when Thane no longer wanted her. No longer wanted such used and broken goods. "You wanna know why I'm so fucking good at being the best? Because they broke me down, rebuilt me, turned me from Kitty-Kat, into Commander Katida Shepard. I'm so fucking good at killing because I grew up on the streets where it was either them or me. I'm so fucking good at persuading people because it is how I made a living, get them into my bed, fuck them, slit their throats, and steal their money."

Thane was on his feet too, trying to sooth her. "Siha, please calm down, you need to rest." he went to take her hand, but she pulled away and stormed across the room.

"Get out," she snapped at him. "Get out. Don't pretend like you still love me." Her shoulders shook as she held back sobs.

He took a step towards her. "Siha, I do love you." he tried to reason.

She wanted to throw something at him, to stop the lies. How could he love someone like her? She stormed past him and went to her terminal. She jerked the top drawer open and pulled out her pistol.

He paused on his way up the stairs, thinking she was going to threaten to shoot him again.

"They die because I wouldn't let go…" she muttered and looked up at Thane.

"Siha, put the gun down, my love." he said and took a step towards her.

"Saren's smarter than I gave him credit for… He figured it out and all this time I couldn't." she muttered and tucked the barrel of the gun under her chin.

"No," Thane said and moved. He grabbed her arm and jerked the gun away as she pulled the trigger. The bullet grazed her chin and pinged against the ceiling. He took the gun and crushed it with his biotics. "Don't you dare take yourself away from me, siha." he said and held her tight. "I love you, just as I always have. The only thing the knowledge of your past has done is proven how much of a siha you really are. You fought for a long time on your own, you did what you had to to survive, but you aren't alone anymore. You have friends, a family. Garrus, Tali, Kaidan, James, Chakwas, Joker, Gardner, Kolyat, Jack, Jacob, Miranda, Wrex, Grunt, Samara, me, and so many more love you. You are more than the galaxy's hope, you are our friend and family. You are my lover, the holder of my heart, and nothing is going to change that." He pulled back and looked at her. He wanted this to be more romantic, but his chance at Christmas was ruined by Tali's gift, and it didn't look like another chance was going to come. "If nothing else will prove it to you…" he reached into his coat pocket and slid down onto one knee like he researched humans do it. "Siha… Katida, my love, will you be my wife?" he asked and held out a ring box. Sitting in the middle was a traditional cut engagement ring, the only difference was that the diamond was blue.

She stared at him and he started to worry that she was going to say no. "You'd bond yourself to me? Even knowing… how… tainted I am?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Of course, siha, I love you and I want you to be forever mine." he said and watched as she dropped to her knees before him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into the red flesh there. "I hate you," she sobbed. "You are such a corny bastard and I hate it. Why can't you be like all the other guys? They'd be just happy with sex and no commitment. Hell we are all on the brink of death and you think 'Oh, I'm going to ask the woman I'm shacking up with to marry me.'"

He closed the box, "I take that as a no." he said sadly and his heart broke. She didn't want to marry him.

She smacked him on the back of the head and pulled back. "Of course I'll marry you," she said and tried to wipe the tears off her cheeks. "Now put that ring on my finger before you come to your senses." she said and he slid it on her right ring finger. She smiled down at it and then looked back up at him. "Can I sleep now?"

He smiled and nodded. She snuggled up to his chest and he carried her back to the bed and laid down beside her. "You said it wrong, by the way." she muttered as he covered them with the blanket.

"Oh?" he asked and she nodded.

"It's supposed to go 'Will you marry me?' not 'Will you be my wife?'" she explained. "It's okay though, it was very you, and you would be a corny bastard no matter how you said it."

He shook his head and held her against him. "Go to sleep, my love, I will be here when you awaken." She didn't hear it, already asleep.

KsK

Kat was jolted awake when Joker came on the com and told them they had arrived at Thessia. She left Thane's warm arms and they rode the elevator down to the cargo hold to suit up. "You're not coming." she told him on the ride down.

"Yes I am." he replied.

They went into the armory and he helped her pull on her heavy armor, the pretty blood dragon one that she was so found of. "You're still not coming." she told him again as he clipped up the back of the armor.

"Yes I am," he stated again.

He helped her adjust the weapons on her back. "Tali and Liara are coming." she told him.

"And me," he said and slid his own guns into place.

She pulled the helmet on over her head. "EDI, don't let Thane leave the ship." she ordered.

"Understood, Commander." she replied.

"I'm still coming," he said and fell into pace behind her as she walked to the Kodiak.

"No you're not." she said as she stepped in and the door shut in his face, faster than normal thanks to EDI. "I love having my own AI." she said with a smirk. "Thank you, EDI."

"Anytime, Shepard. Logging you out."

**A/N: So I was going to have this chapter go all the way through the Thessia mission and… well I hit ten pages and was only in the beginning of the mission. So I thought I'd break it into two chapters. On the bright side this means that the next chapter has a good chunk of it done and I will update relatively soon. Even better for you guys is that I don't work till Friday and thus I will be sitting at my house bored out of my mind because school is out too. The only thing that can pull me away from my laptop for the next four days would be my girlfriend and this rafting trip I'm going on Thursday. Anyway, hope you liked the chapter.2.7 Reviews per chapters. .3 more for green 2.3 more for red**


	29. Chapter 29

Thessia was on its way to being in ruins. Reapers were completely ransacking everything. Shepard went up to talk to the leader as the reapers broke through the barrier. "Commander, we'll talk later, get on that gun and do some damage."

Shepard put her Javelin back on her back and hopped up to the gun. She loaded in a fresh clip and took aim. A brute was charging towards the asari using her biotics to clog up the hole. She looked damn near terrified as the beast came at her. Shepard was already shooting and it fell, skidding from the momentum and stopped feet from her.

"Come on, sons of bitches, come on." Shepard said lowly to herself as she loaded another clip and turned the turret to a husk creeping forward—well creeping for them, it was still running head long into her firing range. It fell to the ground in a split second. Without even taking her hand off the trigger she turned it to a brute that was following in its friends footsteps, right into the fire pits of hell and bullets. The clip popped as it dropped to the ground.

Two brutes and three husks charged at once. So they actually had some brains. Charge alone and you will be gunned down, together she couldn't shoot all of them.

"Liara, lift those husks up for as long as you can, Tali send out the drones and keep the second brute busy if you can." she ordered and her team went to work. The husks lifted into the air right before the barrier and Shepard turned her attention to the brutes. One was trying to smash at the drones circling around it. It may be powerful, but it was still half krogan, and krogans, though she loved Wrex and Grunt, where a few points shy of smart on the IQ scale. Reaper code imbedded in them didn't help that either.

'Well, while that one plays wack-a-drone…' she thought and shot at the other one. It deflected most of her bullets and she had to load in a second clip before it went down.

"Hurry up, Shepard," Liara said, straining to keep the squirming husks in the air. How long had it been? Two minutes, three? She knew that Liara was getting to her limits. She was a powerful biotic, but she was holding three, and trying to help strength the barrier.

"Working on it," Kat said and turned to the husks. She shot them down, releasing Liara from having to hold them.

"Shepard!" Tali yelled as her drones were both destroyed and the brute started charging her gun.

"Shit, shit, shit," Kat said as she loaded a fresh clip and turned the gun to the brute.

She unloaded a clip into it, but it didn't go down. It reached her as she was loading the next clip. 'This is going to hurt,' she thought and braced for the attack.

The brute raised its arm and went to hit her, but it fell to the ground dead, the corpse slamming into the barrier and making it shudder.

"What the hell…" Shepard muttered as she looked at it. One of its eyes was torn apart and she knew the bullet wound, seeing it so often. It had come from a sniper rifle. "EDI, I told you to keep him on the ship." Kat spat into her com.

"I apologize, Commander, I am unaware how he escaped, but judging from the dead brute at your feet you need him there." the AI said and Kat set her jaw.

More husks and another brute started charging and she didn't have time to argue. "Thane, you better be careful," she said into her com.

"Of course, siha," came his reply.

Even without seeing him, without knowing where his perch was, they moved together completely in sync. The brute fell from half a clip with the aid of his headshots and the husks never touched the barrier.

"That's some sniper you have there." the leader said as she came back down from the turret.

"Oh don't say that, he doesn't need a bigger ego." Shepard said and heard him chuckle in her ear.

She turned from Shepard to give an order to her crew. "I want that gunship in the air." she ordered. "And do not take out the… what is your sniper?" she asked.

"He is a drell, dressed in leather armor, green, sexy… you probably won't even see him though." Shepard said and earned more chuckling from said green, sexy drell.

"Are you two…"

Shepard nodded, "We're lo… we're engaged." she said with the slightest blush on her cheeks.

Tali heard her and squealed. "You and Thane are engaged? He purposed? When?" she said and grabbed her friends arm.

"Yes, yes, last night." Shepard said and the quarrian hugged her.

"I just knew you two would get married, you are perfect for each other."

"You mean like you and Garrus?" Shepard said and made the girl eep and let go.

She crossed her arms and looked away and Shepard was sure she was blushing. "I don't know what you are talking about." she denied.

"Really? Because according to Thane, who is laughing his ass off in my ear, he walked into the mess hall to find you two making out against the main battery door one night. Does that ring a bell?" Shepard repeated what Thane was saying through his chuckling.

Tali wrung out her hands. "Yes…" she said and Shepard hugged her.

"Good, you two have been eyeing each other up since we took out Saren. It's about fucking time." she said.

Tali remembered that, remembered how she first started to have feelings for the turian.

_Saren was dead, for good this time, and the fleet was taking out Sovereign. Shepard was standing off to the side, eyes clutched shut and gripping her gun tightly. She had just ordered the council to their deaths, she had to. Taking out Sovereign was the most important thing. If they saved the council they might not have enough ships to take out the reaper._

_As the huge monstrosity died its body was scattered across the Citadel. Large pieces flew through the glass and into the room they were in. They all ducked out of the way and Tali watched as a large piece landed on Shepard._

"_Shepard," she cried and tried to go to her, but Garrus grabbed her around the waist and held her as she cried for her dead friend. They sat there like that, Tali sobbing, Garrus rubbing her back, until they were rescued._

"Plug that hole!" the lieutenant ordered, hurrying along two asari that were working on it. "I'm Lieutenant Kurin, I've been told to hold this bridge at all costs, for you." she said and turned back to Shepard.

They both turned and looked at the asari still holding the barrier as missiles were shot at her. The barrier wavered.

"I said to plug up that hole!" she shouted at her women then turned back to Shepard. "But our perimeter is collapsing, I'm getting my people out of here."

Shepard understood this. If they stayed all of them would die, but if they left Shepard would never reach that temple. She looked over the dead bodies and the wounded, Liara was tending to some of them. "I'm sorry…" she said quietly. She was going to have to convince Liara's people to kill themselves for the "greater good."

She followed after the retreating asari. "Look, I know this looks hopeless. I know how you feel, this is how it was on Earth." she said kindly. "And I know I have no right to ask you to stay and fight when I didn't just run from the battle, I ran from the planet."

Kurin stopped and looked at her.

"I left my people that day so I could go get help. If I was you I'd retreat to go get help too." Shepard sighed and bowed her head a bit. "But we can't afford that, not now. We need you holding this line, watching our backs, so we can get to that temple. Something in it will help us stop this war. We have to stand and fight today, and I will be right with you. I will do for you what I should have done for my own, put my life on the line for your people, will you do the same?"

Kurin reacted just how she wanted, with a nod and agreement. "We'll hold this position while you get to that temple." she said with newly found vigor.

Shepard nodded to her and turned away to start the trek, knowing full well she convinced these people to lay their heads down on the slab for the executioner's blow.

The fight across the bridge wasn't much. A harvester tried to dive bomb them, but one of the gunships shot it down. Other than that there were some cannibals, a lot actually, but nothing that she and Thane couldn't snipe down by the time they reached them.

They ducked into the building and started climbing over the piles of rubble inside. "I've lost sight of you, be careful." Thane said into her ear.

"Roger that, see if you can't find another perch, if not come and meet us on the ground." she replied.

They froze at the exit to the building and two harvesters swooped down into view, dropping off reaper spawn.

Shepard loaded her Javelin and shot them down as they started to move. Still nothing they couldn't handle. That team was really doing a good job, she just hoped at least some of them wouldn't die.

"Their slaughtering my people." Liara cried. She was still only a child and it pained Shepard to see her like this.

"Then will give it back to them tenfold." Shepard assured her and slid down a pile of rubble to the lower level. She took out her avenger and shot down anything she had missed.

Just when she thought this might be easy they were slammed hard. Marauders poured out from behind the building they were going around. Cannibal lackies were right behind them.

J

"Jeff, I have found a pattern that I think the crew should know." EDI said back on the bridge.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" he asked and turned to look at his robot girlfriend.

"I have taken a look at the time periods Commander Shepard has had her break downs." EDI said and tapped some things on her terminal. "All of them have happened when there has been a reaper within com distance, and the closer they it appears the worse the break downs are."

Joker just stared at her and Garrus is the one who spoke up, making him jump. When had the turian showed up. "You mean the reapers are the ones doing this?" he asked and EDI nodded.

"I believe you experienced a similar situation with Saren." EDI said grimly.

"Spirits… Shepard is becoming indocturnated?" Garrus said wide eyed. Not Kat, not his best friend.

EDI nodded, "I believe so, but the reapers are being slow about it. I think they have a purpose for her, but what I can't not speculate."

"Shit," Garrus and Joker muttered together.

TK

He walked through the shadows behind Shepard's movements until he could find a high sniper's perch. He climbed up to it gracefully and turned his sniper to the enemies that threatened his lover's life.

Scores of them poured out, more than he could hit. Shepard was forced into cover and was pinned down.

"Tali, send out the drones and keep them distracted, Liara, keep your head down and wait till I tell you." he heard her order. She pocked her head out of cover and shot down a cannibal in the middle of the field. He smirked, knowing what she was planning.

They all gathered around their fallen comrade and started to eat it.

"Now!" Kat shouted and Liara lifted them all into the air for Tali's drones to shoot down.

Without their lackies the marauders started moving forward, pushing their line back, but it also left them open. Kat pulled out her Javelin and loaded cryo ammo into it. She should one and he followed with a bullet of his own only a second after. Her bullet stiffened its body and his shattered it. They kept up the pace, while one reloaded the other shot. The three of them were never even touched.

"That is some sexy drell shooting." she muttered into their private channel and he smirked.

"You didn't tell me headshot," he commented.

She gave a short laugh, "I can't tell when you headshot if they explode." Her smile slide from her face as they heard a banshee cry. He could see her tremble and wanted nothing for than to hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

KsK

Kat never liked banshees, ever since one stabbed her through the chest, which was the first one she had faced.

"Shepard, move." Liara cried and Kat rolled into cover out of reflex, dodging the blast of biotic energy from the horrid, ugly, mutated asari.

Thane was unloading bullets after bullets into it, trying to stop it from moving towards Kat, who was sitting behind a crate, trembling and gripping the barrel of her sniper. She was scared. The woman who had stared down a reaper and she was scared of a banshee.

"Siha, it is okay." Thane said into the com. "You need to move, you will be fine but you need to move." he tried to coax her into motion. When Shepard moved she made mountains move with her, they needed that right now.

She took a deep breath and ran over her training in her head. "Others before yourself, others before yourself." she repeated again and again until she could move her legs and ran into a better cover.

She took another deep breath and pulled out her shotgun. Thane was mildly surprised, she never used her shotgun.

She wanted to blow this thing's face off, she wanted it to never exist. She charged up a shot. "Liara, hold this thing still if you can." she ordered and gave her a few seconds before she turned and fired on the banshee that was glowly bright blue and frozen.

Thane used the chance and shot it in both eyes.

The blue faded as Liara lost control over it and the banshee thrashed about, unable to see. Kat dodged out of the way of its flailing arms and shot at it again. This time it fell and imploded on itself with a high pitched scream.

**A/N: Well there you guys go, two chapters in as many days. A product of my boredom. I work so much that I don't know what to do with myself when I don't work.**

**Some things I want to tell you guys. First, I have pet goats. One of the goats gave birth Friday and I convinced my mom to let me name the little tri-color one Zorha, like Tali'Zorha, yeah I'm that big of a nerd.**

**Second, I went to go see Avengers a few days ago and in it was the closest I have ever seen to what Kat looks like. The only real difference is the eye color and Kat's hair is flatter, other than that Black Widow is pretty dead on.**

**http:/www. /wp-content/uploads/2012/03/SJBW. jpg**

**Even the outfit is pretty damn close to what Kat wears under her heavy armor.**

**Now a question for you: Would anyone be interesting in reading a MShepXJack story? I've been thinking about writing one.**


	30. Chapter 30

Shepard shuddered as the scream rang in her ears. It hung there, buzzing, getting louder and louder until she couldn't hear anything else. Her vision started to go black at the edges. She dropped her gun and gripped her head. 'Stop… stop…' she pleaded in her head. She fell to her side and curled up into a ball, gripping her head in her hands.

"Where's Shepard?" Tali asked from up the path. Both she and Liara looked back for their Commander. "Shepard?"

Thane spotted her from his perch and went to her side. He rolled her onto her back and put his cool hand against her forehead. "It's okay, siha," he said, trying to sooth her. She whimpered and her nails bit into her scalp. With his free hand he pried one of her hands off and held it as she squeezed. "Is it the buzzing?" he asked and she nodded, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes. He took a shaky breath. He had a theory of what that buzzing was, he just hoped he was wrong. From what he had read about indoctrination it wasn't pleasant, and wasn't curable.

"Make it stop." she whined and he lifted her into his lap.

"It's okay," he promised and rubbed her back. "It's going to be okay, we have to get to the temple and find that artifact, then we can rest and the buzzing will go away, okay?" he said and slowly she nodded. "Are you okay to walk?" he asked and she nodded.

"It's… not as loud." she muttered and removed herself from him. "Thank you…" she said as he stood as well and handed her her gun. "And…" she stepped towards him, like she was going to kiss him, but instead slapped the back of his head. "Next time listen to me and stay on the damn ship."

He smiled and kissed her forehead, "But then that brute would have gotten you." he said. "I'll stay on the ship when you stay out of trouble."

Tali laughed and they turned to see the two women standing near them. "The day Shepard doesn't find trouble is the day I strip out of this suit and walk through the Afterlife." she said and Kat flicked her off.

"I love having five fingers sometimes." Shepard said when Tali couldn't return it. She turned back to Thane to give him his orders, but he was already gone. "Damn you, assassin." she snapped at him and heard him laugh in her com.

"Love you too," he said and she walked towards the entrance to the fallen building in their way, rubbing her head.

They climbed their way through the rumble, jumped down to lower levels when need be, forced doors open when they got in the way. It was slow, but they managed. When they got through to the other side they were walking over rubble, some of it was even on fire, lucky them.

"Above us," Liara called as a reaper walked slowly past them.

"Keela…" Tali muttered.

Shepard closed her eyes and trembled as the buzzing spiked, then slowly faded. 'Please… just let me finish this…' she thought and it dimmed back to the little buzzing in the back of her head.

The reaper was just far enough that Shepard wasn't too worried about it seeing them. She hopped out of cover and started lining up shots with her Javelin. She nearly pulled the trigger and took out an asari sniper, pulling up just in time. "Looks like we found the outpost team." she said and they started towards them.

Thane dispatched most of the enemies in the way and Shepard just got to look cool as she walked by and things died around her without her ever having to shoot. "Love, you make me feel like a god sometimes." she muttered into her com and she could practically hear him smirking, really smirking, the ones he only let show when it was just them.

They met up with the team, Shepard convinced more people to lay down their lies for her, all in a day's work for the great and noble Commander fucking Shepard. She hated it. Back once upon a time she would revel in how easy it was to get people to die for her, now it just sickened her.

"_We're just murders." _Kitty had said in her dream. She was wrong, Shepard had changed. She wasn't this bloodthirsty girl anymore. She had friends and a family, these people she was convincing to die had friends and family. The "greater good" had better the grateful for what they were giving up.

More banshees, reaper spawn, and dead asari for their cause later and they made it to the temple. Shepard wasn't really paying much attention, just going through the motions. Several times she would have been taken down if Thane wasn't watching her six.

"Thane, stay out of site," she ordered lowly into her com when they came upon the dead scientists. They hacked their way into the temple and started looking around.

Shepard walked to the back of the temple where a large statue of a woman stood. She tilted her head slightly, something here felt… off, yet the same. She reached her hand out and the statue started glowing green. "It's a beacon…" she muttered and then shook her head. "Something is wrong… it's not whole." she said and went over to an artifact on display. She ran her hand over it and it started glowing too, sending a green light to the first.

"It's reacting to you…" Liara said, amazed. "It must think you're prothean."

Shepard looked at her with a shrug. "Maybe something to do with that first beacon back on Eden Prime?" she said and started going to the other artifacts. Not all were part of the beacon, but some were. When she had them all the statue crumbled and left just the beacon. "There, that's what it's supposed to look like." she said and went back to the main part.

She ran her hand over it and a VI popped out. It said something about it being after the prothean cycle. Shepard rubbed her head as she went up to it and the others. It was getting harder to focus.

"Reaper presence detected. This galactic cycle has already reached its extinction terminus. Systems shutting down." it said.

"Hold on," Liara said quickly.

Shepard stepped in, "We need answers."

The VI got in her face. "To what questions?" it asked.

"What is the catalyze?" she asked. "We need to know what it is to stop the reapers."

It formed a prothean and started talking about a man it was supposed to be that oversaw the crucible project last cycle. Shepard rubbed her head again, trying to focus. What she managed to absorb was it thought they had already ran out of time. She needed to convince it otherwise.

"Why didn't the crucible work for you guys?" she asked.

"We were sabotaged from within, a splinter group wanted to dominate the reapers rather than destroy them." Kat immediately thought of Cerberus, that couldn't be a chance. "It fractured our order, later we found them to be indoctrinated."

Yep sounded their own glowing eyed man. But that didn't make any sense on why they brought her back to life. Why would the reapers want her alive when she had killed one of their own?

"Anyone else want to guess who that sounds like?" Kat said dryly.

The VI confirmed that the same situation was happening again, that the cycle only ever repeated, just like the reaper attacks.

"We assumed the reapers were responsible for the pattern." Liara said in thought.

"No," the VI said "they are only servants to the pattern, they are not its master."

"Then who is?" Kat asked, getting impatient. Damn her head was killing her.

The VI didn't know, Kat didn't bother listening the rest of what it had to say on the matter.

"We aren't dead yet, so tell us what the catalyze is." she said annoyed.

"You can't beat the reapers with conventual means."

"We know, that's why we are building this big weapon thing." Shepard growled. "You're people made it, now tell us how to finish it."

"The crucible is not prothean design. It is the work of countless cycles, each adding something to it."

"What is the catalyze." Shepard asked again, trying to get back on topic.

"Very well, if you have found the crucible I will intergrade with your systems to—indocturated presence detected." it quickly turned back into a ball and hid inside the beam.

Kat looked down the aisle and clenched her fist at who she saw. "You," she growled and Liara caught her as she tried to charge the bastard. Kia Leng. She took a shaking deep breath. "Thane… keep out of site… they don't know you are alive, I want to keep it that way." she muttered into the com as lowly as she could.

There was a few seconds of silence. "Understood, siha." he replied. "Be safe."

"What do you want, you fucking bastard?" she growled and pulled out her pistol, already loaded with deadly cryo ammo.

"You're attention," Kia Leng said calmly.

Kat's grip on the gun tightened for a second. She wanted to murder this man in so many ways. She could feel it coming back, her desire to kill just to feel the blood splatter on her face, to see the look of terror in the person's eyes. She forced herself to relax, she wouldn't let this bastard do this to her.

"Someone would like to talk with you." he said and pulled out a small drone. It turned on and hovered before them.

The Illusive Man's hologram appeared before them around the drone. "Shepard," it greeted and Kat lowered her gun, for now, no point in shooting a hologram anyways.

"How did you find this place?" she asked.

"The achieves, or did your prothean expert miss that one?" he said, mocking Liara.

"Show yourself, I promise I won't miss." Liara rebutted, her gun still raised.

"Stick to your talents, Doctor T'Soni, you helped uncover the key to controlling the reapers." he said and walked through Shepard and up to the VI hovering just in front of the beam, locked down in systems protocol.

"Or destroying them, you know saving the galaxy." Kat said, annoyed.

"Damn it, Shepard," he said and turned back to them. "Destroying the gains us nothing."

"Yeah, nothing, just, you know, our lifes." Kat spat at him.

"They're just trying to control us." the Illusive Man protested. "Think about it, if they wanted all organic life destroyed they could do it. There would be nothing left."

"Which is why we need to blow them to hell." Kat said and mimicked an explosion with her hands.

"They have it right, Shepard, why kill when you can control?"

"You've been spending too much time with the enemy." Kat said and waved him off. "They are making you think what they want you to."

"No…" the Illusive Man seemed hesitant. "I just see things differently."

"If you truly cared about humanity then stop fighting me and help me stop them." she said, seeing an opening to convince him.

It didn't work, he closed off. "Don't question my intentions, I've sacrificed more for humanity than you'll ever know." he said, clearly speaking of some traumatic past. "And don't assume you know me. My methods for dealing with the reapers is simple more refined than yours."

"Didn't know Cerberus wasn't that bright glowing sword for humanity, it's just a dagger in the back." Kat muttered, clearly words weren't going to change his mind, might as well get him pissed off enough to go away.

"The world is more gray than you care to admit." he said simple and Kat looked back to keep an eye on Kia Leng, who was pacing a distance away with his sword out like a dog on a chain.

"With the data in this beacon I can end the reapers, once and for all. You're either with me or against him, nothin' gray about that." Shepard said and the slang of the streets started to appear.

"No, I suppose there isn't." he said and turned away from Shepard. "Leng, the Commander has something I need, please relieve her of it and then bring me the data." His form disappeared and the drone returned to Kia Leng's awaiting hand.

"Understood." he said and tucked the drone back away. He took a fighting stance and Kat pulled out her shotgun.

"I don't have time for this." she muttered and charged it up. Tali and Liara took cover, but Kat attacked him head on. She blew a hole right through his shields and he ran away like a scared little child, using his gun ship to give him cover while his shields recharged.

Liara grabbed the back of her armor and jerked her into cover, saving her from her stubborn stupidity.

"Haha, you will die just like you pathetic lover, Thane Krios." he laughed.

"Shepard, calm down." Liara said hand held her back from charging the bastard. The image of Thane being stabbed and dying was still vivid in her mind, still hurt, even though they managed to save him.

"Siha, I'm right here," Thane said in her com. "I'm going to help you fight."

"No," she said harshly. "You stay put. I won't lose you again…" she said and bit back tears. "I've got this, just don't move, don't shoot, don't do anything, I don't want them knowing you're alive…" she pleaded and charged up her shotgun again.

She rolled to the side as Kia Leng's sword came down right where she had just been. She put the shotgun against his gut and fired. He was thrown backwards and quickly scurried back behind his gunship's fire cover. Kat ducked back into cover.

"See, he isn't too tough." she said and charged up another shot.

It continued for several more shots until Kia Leng grabbed ahold of Liara and threw her against Tali, knocking them to the ground. Shepard didn't have time to charge another shot, so she shot normal ones at him, and he deflected them easily with his biotics.

He raised his free hand to his ear and clicked his com. "Target the supports." he ordered the gunship and it did just that.

Shepard and her team didn't have a choice but to run back and under cover as the gunship opened fire. Missiles flew past Shepard and into the support in front of her, the force knocking her back and off her feet.

"Siha," Thane cried in her ear.

Leng walked through the destruction and up to the VI.

Shepard stood to try and stop him, but had to jumped to the side as a pillar fell where she had been standing. Her gun flew out of her hand and landed in front of her, but when she went to grab it the floor under her feet started to crumble. She got up and ran backwards towards the sturdier ground, but it all just started to crumble under her feet like some bad movie boss fight.

She jumped and caught hold of a sturdy piece, then that too started to fall, but she couldn't get up again, not at the angle it was at.

"Cerberus thanks you for all your hard work." Leng said as he walked by. He went up to the beam and started downloading the data he wanted.

Shepard on clinging to a hanging part of the floor, trying to climb back up, making it just in time to see Kia Leng leaving. The floor she was gripping to started to crumble and she fell. A strong hand grabbed her a few dozen feet down and she looked up to see Thane hanging on to her from a rock ledge. "Hang on, love." he said and pulled her up beside him.

Once to safety she clung to him, breathing in his scent, wishing that his presence could make everything else go away.

"Anyone on this frequency? This is Lieutenant Kurin, my squad is trapped." came a static voice on her com.

"This is Shepard," Kat said, dragged out of her little paradise. She put a hand to her ear to try and hear her better. "What's your location?"

"I repeat, is anyone on this frequency?" Kurin couldn't hear them.

"We read you, tell us your location." Shepard tried again.

"The lieutenant is down, the whole zone is collapsing." another asari said over the com. "What happened to Shepard, did they make it to the temple?"

Kat sighed and leaned against Thane. He picked her up and she held on to him as he climbed back out of the whole. "Who did I save?" she muttered. She had convinced many to die today and for nothing. They had no data, no way to tell what the catalyze was, they had nothing.

"I saw them—Wait. Reaper inbound!" the voice said into the com and she clutched Thane tighter.

When they made it to the top they saw a reaper touching down close by and heard the asari in the com scream. "Please, is anybody there! Oh—Goddess no!"

A second reaper touched down by the first. She let go of Thane and swayed on her feet, he steadied her.

Liara stood at the entrance to the temple, watching as her people were being killed. Kat went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry…" she muttered. "This is my fault."

Liara shook her head, shaking a few tears few of her eyes. "No… the reapers are to blame."

Kat put a hand on her com, "Steve, we need a pick up." she said and let out a shudder as Thane came and held her from behind. He could see what she was hiding, that she was dead on her feet right now.

"Roger that, Commander, be ready for pick up, it's going to have to be a quick one." Steve replied and less than a minute later he was rushing in and they all jumped into the Kodiak.

**A/N: I was going to leave you guys with a cliff hanger of Shepard falling, but I thought I'd be nice for once and let you guys off easy. Well Thessia is done. The game is almost done.**

**Still at 2.7, come on guys, I really don't wanna do the blue ending, it really sucks.**


	31. Chapter 31

Once back on the Normandy Thane helped Kat strip out of her armor and carried her up to the med-bay.

"This isn't my floor," Kat groaned, knowing where they were going. "This isn't my room." she whined when they entered the med-bay. "And this isn't my bed." she griped when he set her down on the bed.

"Stop, complaining, Commander, we need to at least change your bandages." Chakwas said as she came over with a pair of forceps.

Thane helped her by lifting up the front of the Commander's shirt right below her bra.

"This is mutiny." she whined as the good doctor started cutting the bandages covering her mid-section.

"Oh yes, because caring for your health is so horrible." Chakwas said with fake pity. She peeled back the bandages and Kat hissed as air hit the tender flesh.

Her wounds had healed, expect the one on her stomach she kept managing to reopen, or claw open as was the last time.

"Hold her down, Thane, we are going to have to wash it." she said and Thane held her down on the bed. Chakwas got a bottle of disinfectant fluid and squirted it on the wound.

Kat bit her lip and she arched off the bed as it stung. "That hurts like a mother fucker." she hissed and Chakwas shook her head.

"Don't be such a baby," she said and emptied the bottle over the wound. "Now just for some anti-biotic to help with infections, some salve to stimulate healing, and fresh bandages." she muttered as she went and got a large needle.

"Mutiny," Kat groan and laid back down on the bed, glaring up at Thane. Her eyes squeezed shut as she was stabbed in the side with the needle and injected with the anti-biotic. "Well, that wasn't that ba—cold!" she cried as Chakwas rubbed the salve on the wound. "Fucking cold, you bitch." she said and squirmed in place.

Once the bandages were on and she was allowed up she went to make a bolt to the door. "Not so fast, young lady." Chakwas stopped her in her tracks.

"Young? I'm thirty-one, hell I don't even get carded at the bars anymore… though that might be the whole famous bit…" she said as Chakwas handed her a brown bag.

"It would be wise if you didn't get pregnant again till after this war, I suggest you use protection." she said and Kat looked in the bag.

Condoms and birth control. "Damn it, I hate the pill." she muttered.

"Too bad," Chakwas said and sat down at her terminal. "I don't need you on my bed again because you got hurt again so take precautions against getting hurt."

"Yeah, yeah," Kat said and the two of them went to the elevator. She pulled out the box of condoms and nearly busted out laughing. Thane looked at the box to see what was so funny and he blinked. "Well, I told you that it was normal size for humans." she said and took out the other box Chakwas gave her. "Hang on for a moment, I wanna mess with Kaidan." she said and crept over to the star observatory.

She opened the boxes just enough and hit the pad for the door to open. Kaidan turned around to see who had come in and she chucked the boxes at him, the condoms flying everywhere. He blinked and looked down at them, then back up at her, but she was already gone.

'I'll never understand women,' he thought and brushed the few that landed in his hair out.

Kat was laughing all the way up to her cabin and it made Thane happy to see it. She took the bag from him and popped one of the little pills in her mouth and swallowed. She pressed the feed button on her fish tank, needlessly so, the VI installed would feed them, but sometimes, when she remembered, she liked to manually do it. She said hello to her hamster, who she found down in the cargo hold, no idea how he was still alive, or what he had been eating, or how he got out. She smirked at the memory, now realizing how silly she must of looked chasing after the hamster, finally dive bombing him and nearly squishing him to death.

"You seem to be feeling better." Thane commented.

"All an act," she said and turned to him. "You know that."

He nodded sadly, "Can't you let me at least pretend?" he asked as she moved into his arms.

"No," she said and let out a sigh as he held her tight. "Come on, let's play chess, I need to get better before I challenge Traynor to a rematch." she said and pulled him to the couch.

"You need rest." he protested.

"No… I'm sick of having nightmares." she whined.

He sighed, "Alright, we will play for a while, then you need to sleep." he gave in. If he was right about the indoctrination then she would sleep better when they got away from the reapers. Looking at her as she set up the board, he prayed to every god he had ever even heard of that he was wrong. They just now had a chance of a future together, he didn't want that taken from him. He didn't want to lose her and continue living.

He beat her six times in a row before she gave up. "None of this is like in real life." she complained.

He smiled, "You are better suited for actual combat than a bored game." he agreed. "In chess there isn't any forces with better skill than another like you are used to, both sides have exact about of resources and no drive to take down an enemy with them."

"Yes, that is why I lost." she said and leaned back on the couch.

"Well that and you suck at coordination." he said and got a pillow thrown at him. "I'm just saying, if your dancing is anything to go on—" he got another pillow thrown at him.

"Alright, hot shot, since you know about my past I'll let you in on a secret." she said and got up. She turned on her music to a faster beat song.

"Are you really going to do the Shepard Shuffle in the middle of your cab—" she threw a pillow from her bed at him.

"Shut up and watch," she snapped at him and started moving her body to the music, actually dancing very well.

He just stared, "So… all those times in the bars and the clubs and… everywhere, when people would laugh at your lack of dancing skill…"

"I was faking it," she said and plopped down beside him. "When I first joined the military and… wasn't… as crazy a lot of guys would ask me to dances and clubs and shit. It got annoying so I started stepping on a lot of toes, literally, and got the rep of not being able to dance so they'd leave me alone."

He chuckled and she hit him with a pillow.

"I can dirty dance too, wanna see?" she said and he raised a brow ridge at her. She smiled and pulled him from the couch and into a chair. Then she scooted it back so she'd have more room.

"Siha, what are you—" she cut him off as he started to get up and made him sit down.

"Just sit." she said and put his hands on the edge of the chair. "You are not allowed to move your hands, okay?" she said as she rubbed his arms.

He sighed and nodded. "Good boy." she said and dropped her shirt over his head. "No peaking while I get ready." This was going to be fun, and it would be a way to get her mind off of that dull buzzing. She changed into some clothes Kasumi had given her before her departure. It was a pair of black silk cloth pants and a matching long sleeve top, but it went down just far enough to cover her breasts and hung off her shoulders. She tied her hair back and let a few strands fall forward. Once she was happy with it she put on some light makeup, Miranda's gift.

She went back behind Thane and took the shirt off of his head. She moved her hands down his chest to the music, undoing the clasps and sliding it off. Then she ran her hands back up, dragging her nails to accommodate for his tougher skin. She ran her hands down his strong arms, her lips brushing against his skull as she slid down to his wrists and then back up. Slowly she started walking around to him, swaying her hips with the music, accenting her curves by rubbing her hands up and down her stomach and hips. 'It would be better if I didn't have these bandages…' she thought, but it couldn't be helped. She stopped in front of him. She moved her hips in a sphere, going up and down slightly, side to side, forward and back, all the while running her hands from her stomach down to her upper thigh, using the motion to keep his attention where she wanted it. Slowly she started to turn in a circle, allowing her hands to run over her ass every now and again, drawing his attention where she wanted it.

When she got back around she was rewarded by the sight of his staring at her body with want, his hands gripping the chair. She moved in the sphere for a bit longer before she lifted her left leg up and put it on the other side of his right leg and put her hands on the back of the chair. She continued moving her hips, but going lower, mimicking the moments used to grind against him and also putting her chest close to his face. She went down lower, her right hand brushing down his chest, resting on his thigh, and allowing her neck to brush against his lips.

She allowed her hand to brush the bulge forming in his pants as she spun and moved her left leg over his left leg so she was facing away from him. She placed her right hand on his knee and her left on hers. She went down at from the right first, towards his groin where he wanted her, and moved her hips in the sphere as she came back up at the same angle, repeating this.

She stepped back so she was facing him, both of her legs in between his. She places her hands on his shoulders and moved them down his body, going down with her hands onto her knees, swaying her body to the music. She stopped her hands on his knees. Moving with the music, she went back so she was nearly sitting on her heels, then back up so she was standing on her knees, arching her body at just the right times to bring his eyes down from her face to her curves. She leaned towards him and moved her upper body in a circle. His eyes nearly closed and he let out a sigh of want as her lips came close to the tent in his pants.

She shifted back, putting her hand behind her and putting her weight on it, her right knee, and propped her left foot up. She lifted her body up once at the angle from the foot and then shifted back onto her ass. She lifted her left leg straight up in the air, demonstrating her flexibility and ran a hand up and down her leg.

He was staring again, panting slightly. "Siha," he breathed, but she ignored him. He didn't know how just watching her was affecting him like this, was surprised by how badly he just wanted to pin her to the ground and make love to her again and again.

She put her feet on the chair right in between his legs and scooted closer. Then she put her legs over his thighs and lifted her lower body off the ground, giving him a fantastic view, and moved her hips in a circle, going up just slightly faster than going down. Thane let out a slight growl and he licked his lips, trying to obey her rule of not moving his hands.

She rolled backwards, away from him, and looked at him on her knees. She ran her hands down her body, keeping it swaying to the music, and when her hands encountered her top she slowly lifted it over her head, leaving her in his favorite black lace bra. She moved onto her hands and knees and lowered her bottom half, bringing his eyes to her chest as it arched out in front of him. She shifted so she was on her knees in front of him again, her hands on his knees. Slowly, she went down and came back up angled towards him and her chest arched out.

She got back on her feet and moved to the right side of him. Placing her right leg over his and putting her toes on the chair in between his legs. She reached over, putting her chest near his face again, and ran a hand from her ankle up to her upper thigh, then around to her ass, moving her hips in that sphere again and repeated the motion from her knee to her ass again and again. When she put her leg back down she moved her hand to his shoulder and walked behind him, putting her other hand on the other shoulder and started running her hands up and down his arms and chest, dragging her nails across his scales and was rewarded with a slight moan.

With a smirk she started back around to his front, repeating the motion with her right leg with her left. He moved his hand and brushed it against her and she backed away a bit. He quickly put it back on the chair and she moved closer again. She moved so both of her feet were on the chair in between his legs, balancing herself by having her hands on the back of the chair on either side of his head. She swayed her hips a bit and then came down so she was kneeling on either one of his legs, her chest inches from his lips. She places her hands on his shoulders, as a way of making herself feel closer to him, as well as stopping him from grabbing her, as she knew he really wanted at this point, and started moving her chest in front of him to the music.

She wanted to continue the dance, to watch the desire in him grow, but the look he gave her, almost begging. "Alright, you can move your hands." she told him and he grabbed her, pulling her against him, his lips and teeth on her skin. She moaned as his hands ran down her body, pulling her closer, tighter against him. He unclipped the bra and threw it across the room, and his hands immediately started working on her other clothing.

He dragged the pants down off her legs and picked her up, pinning her against her fish tank. "Thane," she moaned and he bit her neck, his teeth nearly breaking the skin. She ground her naked body against him and he growled, pinning her harder against the glass. Using his body to keep her there, his hands worked on getting his pants off, managing to release his cock from the restraining leather. He rocked his hips up and pushed himself deep inside of her. She let out a groan as he filled her.

He let go of her neck and kissed his way back up to her ear. "Siha," he breathed as he pounded away inside of her, hard and fast.

"Yes, Thane?" she said as she tried to catch her breath, unable because of his fast pace.

"You are mine," he said possessively and nipped her earlobe. "I don't want you doing anything like that for anyone else. You are mine." His voice was husky and deep, filled with lust and desire.

She moaned as he hit that sweet spot deep inside of her. "I'm yours, only yours." she agreed.

He kissed her, their tongues fighting for dominance, and his right hand pinned her hands above her head while his left went in between her legs and rubbed her clit.

"Ah… Thane," she moaned. "Stop, I'm going to ah…" she cried as she came.

He groaned as her walls clenched around him, trying to milk him of his seed, but he wasn't done. He moved them to the other side of the room, to her desk, and pulled out of her. She let out a whine of protest. Spinning her around, he faced her away from him and forced her front half down against the desk and pushed in her from behind. She cried out his name as he filled her once more, his hands under her chest, pinching her nipples.

"Mm… Thane. Don't—ah—stop…" she moaned.

He moved his hands to her hips and moved them to meet each of his thrusts, allowing him to go deeper. She moaned his name and laid her cheek down on the desk, eyes closes and mouth open, panting. He leaned over, pulling out so just his tip was inside her, then burying himself up to the hilt, over and over until she came again. He groaned as her muscles tightened around him. It felt so damn good, but he wasn't done yet.

He lifted her up and pulled out of her, turning her around and kissing her passionately. Their tongues intertwined as he backed to the chair and sat down. She followed him, straddling his lap, and he pushed himself inside her once more, moaning at the feeling of her hot, wet, pussy surrounding him. She lifted herself up and down on him, her hands on his shoulders, body arching back in pleasure. Sweat beaded down her forehead, down past her ear, dropped to her shoulder, and then trailed down her body. Thane watched its journey and when it got to her stomach he licked the bead off. She moaned at the feeling of his tongue as it, his lips, and his teeth worked their way along her flesh, up to her breasts and teasing her nipples. He sucked on the little pink nub, nipped on it with his teeth, swirled his tongue around it, anything to drive her crazy. She came again, harder than the two first, screaming his name, and his time he came with her with a cry of his own.

She slowed until she was just sitting in his lap and leaned against his chest, shuddering in pleasure as they both came down from their orgasms. "I needed that," Kat said once she caught her breath.

"Likewise," Thane replied and picked her up in his arms, moving them to the bed.

"EDI, what time is it?" she asked.

"Nearly twenty-two hundred." she replied.

Kat nodded and snuggled against Thane as he pulled the sheet over them. He slipped out of her and his penis went back into its sheath and she let out a little whine of protest.

"Sorry love," he said and settled in beside her.

She entangled their legs and laid her head on his chest. "This is nice," she said and ran her fingers over his markings. "I missed having you at my side those long eight months."

"Oh?" he asked. "How much?"

She smirked and looked up at him. "Enough to make me ache for your touch, to pleasure myself every night, over and over, calling your name, and it never be enough." she said and rubbed herself against him a bit.

He let out a purr.

"What about you?" she asked and grazed her lips over the red skin on his neck.

"Hmmm," he said and ran his hand down her back. "I passed the lonely hours by remembering our times together as only a drell can." he said.

"Care to share?" she asked.

He smiled and allowed himself to slip back into the memories. "I hold her body against him, warm, soft. My hands run down her curves, pushing her pants off when I get to them. She smirked up at me and pulled me down onto the bed with her. Her leg hitches up on my waist. I shift and push myself inside of her. She is warm, tight, better than anything I have ever felt." he closed his eyes and after a few seconds looked at her, but she was already asleep, snoring slightly. He smiled lovingly at her, "Sleep well, my siha."

**A/N: I thought you all deserved a break from the drama so here is some smut. Hope you liked Kat trying to be sexy for her sexy drell. I sure had fun writing it. I know nothing about lap dances so I actually had to go look up youtubes for references. Anybody sees that history on my laptop and I'm going to have a hard time explaining why I was watching a video titled "Learn how to lap dance."**

**You guys are at 2.933 reviews per chap.**


	32. Chapter 32

Kat shifted in her sleep and Thane looked up from the datapad he was reading. He shifted so he was lying down and put his arm around her, pulling her against him. She let out a whine and her hands went to the arm, about to pull it off, but when she felt the scaly skin she sighed and curled up around it.

He rubbed her soft skin. "EDI, what time is it?" he asked quietly.

"It is currently courter till thirteen hundred." she replied.

"Thank you," he said with a nod of his head. She had been sleeping for fifteen hours with no nightmares. He was glad, she needed this rest. "How close are we to the Citadel?" he asked. They needed to restock.

"About five hours out." she replied and he thanked her again.

Slowly, he got out of her grasp. He would go get food for her and then wake her up. He also needed to see if Chakwas had any more ointment for her reaction to his skin. She rarely broke out anymore, but his roughness from last night left the itchy red patches on her hips. He had applied what was left of the ointment to it this morning when he woke up.

She groaned at the loss of his body against hers, but didn't wake. "I will be back, siha," he said against her ear before he got out of the bed and pulled his vest on. He left the room and hit the button for the crew deck.

While he was gone Kat woke up and rolled over, looking for her lover. "Thane," she grumbled through a sleepy haze. When he didn't respond she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. He wasn't in the cabin. "EDI, where is Thane?" she asked.

"He is currently talking to Gardner, requesting food for you." she replied promptly.

"Oh… okay." she said as she stood up, wincing as her body ached from last night. It had been awhile since they had gone at it like that and her body didn't agree. It was worth it. Her hands went to her hips and scratched. 'Why am I itchy?' she thought and looked down. Her hips had patches of little red bumps and bruises in the shape of hands. "Fuck… guess we were a little too rough." she said and went into the bathroom. She looked over her body and there were bumps forming on her back and her inner thighs. She could see the remnants of ointment on her hips and she knew Thane had put it there. She sighed and stepped into the shower, hoping the hot water would help wash away the chemicals her body was reacting to.

When Thane came back up with a bowl of hot stew and a new jar of ointment he first realized that the room was empty. He heard the shower next and knew that's where she was. Humans bathed nearly daily. He didn't understand how they could stand it. Drell bathed maybe once a week, but they had scales, humans kept their skin from drying out by secreting oils that had to be washed off or would create bumps they called pimples and it was some sort of taboo to have them.

He set the tray down at her desk by the couch and picked up the datapad he had been reading. It was a human book series Kat had got him to read. It was about assassins in a time period before humans even had guns. It confused him at first because the assassins had powers called talents and there were magic people and strange beasts that could devour armies. She had explained to him that it was fiction and was in an alternate universe of sorts. Humans never had magic or powers or creatures that could eat armies.

He sat down on the couch and started reading it when her terminal pinged. He went over to it and read the screen.

1 New Message

From: Cecilia Gray

Her mother had replied, and judging by the date they had just come back into range, it had been sent nearly a week ago. He wanted to read it, last time they had been talking about him.

"Oh, she replied?" Kat's voice said behind him. He jumped and turned to face her and furrowed his brow in confusion. "What?" she asked.

"Your hair…" he said and touched the golden locks.

"Oh, yeah, the dye wears off. It's one of the fancy ones that changes back all at once. I'll reapply it before we get to the Citadel." she said and sat down at the terminal. She looked back at him. "Why are you staring? You knew I was blonde." she snapped at him.

He nodded, "It's just… I like it." he said and ran his fingers through it.

She blushed and batted his hand away. "Don't get used to it, I have to dye it back." she said and clicked the message open.

He couldn't help his curiosity and read it over her shoulder.

_Katty,_

_We saw one of those purple ships fly overhead today and everyone was taken to a bunker. Henry and I have a nice bed in the corner. The neighbors have the one next to us. It had been fun to have some girl time with Evelyn, but I hope they let us leave soon._

_The guards here have these weird pets. They stand on two legs and are in armor and carry hugs. I would almost think they are some of those aliens you talk about, but they can't speak. Sometimes the guards talk to them like they understand, but all they do is click back._

Kat rubbed her face. Her parents still hadn't gotten a translator chip, great.

_I'll tell you more about it next time I can use a computer, I'm borrowing one from one of the guards to send this to you. He didn't want to at first, but I told him the famous Commander Shepard was my daughter and I wanted to send her a message. The look on his face was weird and the poor soul had to leave. I think he may have a cold because he couldn't stop shaking, and then the friends he went over to started shaking too. Hope I don't catch it._

_Love,_

_Mom_

"Pets?" Thane asked.

"Yeah… she doesn't get out of the house much… never been off Earth… yada yada." she explained and rubbed her face.

"Wait, she is on Earth?" Thane asked confused.

"Yeah, in this really small town right by a huge national park, low population, they hadn't been hit yet." she said and started typing a response.

_Mom,_

_They are not ships! They are reapers, I don't know how many times I have told you this. And those aren't pets, they are turians, like my friend Garrus, remember I told you about him? It sounds like they are just clicking because you don't have a translator chip even though I sent you one and one for Henry. And the man probably didn't believe you, everyone thinks I'm an orphan and now isn't the time to correct them._

_Hope you guys stay safe. This war will be over soon, we tracked down the last piece needed to wipe out the reapers, we just have to go get it._

_Kat_

She leaned back in her seat and sighed.

"If she thought turians were pets what did she think drells were?" Thane asked and Kat rubbed the back of her head.

"Well… funny thing there…" she said with an uneasy laugh. He raised his brow ridge at her. "She… doesn't even know that drell exist."

"But she knows about me, correct?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah… but…" she looked away and messed with her keyboard "she thinks your human." she muttered.

Thane was quiet and Kat felt awful. "You told her I was human?" he finally said and she shook her head.

"I didn't tell her anything, she just assumed and I didn't correct her… I didn't want to start a fight in the middle of a war…" she said quietly.

"Is that why you wouldn't send her a picture of us?" he asked and she nodded. "Are you ashamed of me?"

She shook her head. "Thane, I love you, I don't care what species you." she said and he let out a breath through his noise.

"Then why hide it from your family? Siha, you are to be my wife, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my years with you, but if you can't even tell your family what species I am…"

"Thane," she said, tears running down her cheeks "please, I'm sorry, I just…"

"You're ashamed of me."

"No," she said and stood up, and faced him. "I'm ashamed of them." she said and went to move into his arms, but he stepped away from her.

He sighed, "You should eat, I will be down in live support." he said calmly and went to leave.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the terminal. "I'll tell her, just please, don't go… please." she said and turned on her webcam. The moment it came on she got a video call. From her mother. "See, I'll tell her, okay?" she said and wiped the tears away.

She clicked answer and an older version of the woman from the memory Liara showed him popped up on the screen. He was just out of view, suddenly nervous about meeting her mother.

"Hey, mom," Kat waved.

"Hello, Katty, it's this cool, the young man showed me how to do this." the woman said with a smile that wrinkled her eyes. "It's good to see you, and not I can finally see what this man of yours looks like. Where is he?"

"Um…" Kat looked over to him and he came into view, moving down so he was level with her.

"Hello, Mrs. Gray, I am Thane Krios." he said politely with a bow of his head.

She squinted at him through the screen. "It that some kind of special effect?" she asked.

Kat rubbed her face in her hands. "No, mom, he is a drell." she said, irritated.

"He is a drill?"

"A drell, dr-e-ll." she repeated, slowly. "It's an alien race from Kajhe." she gave the short version.

"An alien… I thought you said he was human."

"No, you assumed he was human."

Cecilia looked at the two of them and shook her head. "Hunny, this is crazy, why are you with a lizard? That is just not normal, what will your friends think?" she said lowly, as if she could stop Thane from hearing.

"Seeing as my best friends are a turian and quarrian that are in love I'd say they would be happy for me." Kat said dryly.

"What about your friends here? It's just not natural, hunny. How do you expect to start a family?" she said and shook her head. "No, you need to settle down with a nice human boy. What about George, he had been asking about you?"

Thane knew now why Kat hadn't told them, her mom was… he was going to be polite and say traditional.

"I have no friends there, I have the people around my age you tried to get me to be friends with for the two days I visited. And I love Thane and I'm going to marry him." Kat said and rubbed her face again.

"Hunny, you can't marry him, there are laws against it."

"Those laws were over turned over a decade ago." Kat reminded her.

"What about starting a family? You can't even have sex with him." she said the last part in a hissing whisper.

Thane stared at her like she was stupid.

"Mom…" Kat groaned. "Sex is a very capable thing for us."

"No it's not, it's a sin. Having sex with an animal is—"

"Mom," Kat snapped at her, cutting her off.

"I mean it, it is a sin to have sex with an animal."

"Mom, he is not an animal. He is a different species. He is no more and animal than you or me." Kat spat at her.

"Don't you use that tone with me," Cecilia said and crossed her arms. She looked at the two of them and put a hand over her mouth. "Oh don't tell me you had sex, you know you are supposed to stay a virgin till you're married."

That was the final straw. "I haven't been a virgin since I was five and that man you called a husband raped me." she said and slammed her fist on the desk. Thane took it in his hand and tried to calm her.

"Sweetheart, he never raped you." Cecilia tried to reason.

Kat closed her eyes against the tears, "Yes he did, for a fucking year until I ran away."

Thane put his arm around her and clicked the call closed. "Your mother is…"

"She is hopelessly blind to what she doesn't want to see." she said and cried into her hands. "You see why I didn't tell her?"

Thane nodded and took her in his arms. "I am sorry, my siha."

She shook her head, "It had to happen sometime." she said and dried her tears. "Anyways… we won't be going home for the holidays." she said and he smiled and kissed her forehead.

He picked her up, "Well, since I'm an animal after you eat I will show you just how much of an animal I can be." he said.

"I can't wait." she told him and when he set her down she ate the stew as fast as she could without getting sick.

Once she was done they started kissing, which lead to them fondling each other, then he pinned her down to the bed and started to take her pants off when "Commander, we are going to be coming into dock in less than half an hour, I suggest you dye your hair back now." EDI chimed in.

"EDI, you are a cock block, you know that?" Kat said annoyed and Thane got off of her. She followed him and kissed him, their tongues rubbing against each other and her hand gripped the bulge in his pants. "Later," she promised him and he nodded.

"I plan on it." he told her and watched her go to the bathroom. "I still like your hair blonde better." he called after her.

"That's because blondes have more fun." she called back and started the water in the sink.

"What?" he asked.

"Human saying," she answered.

**A/N: Yeah… you guys hating her mom yet? Just so you know Cecilia is a characternym, it means the blind one.**

**If any of you can tell me the series Thane was reading I will lower the bar for the red ending to 4 reviews per chapter. Girlfriend got me reading them, on the last one at the moment and loving it.**


	33. Chapter 33

Twenty minutes later she was dressed in a tight deep green top and formfitting black jeans and walking around the Citadel with Thane and Kolyat. She had sent different members of her squad to out with lists to pick up the supplies she needed while she met with the council, taking the two drell as company. She stopped by the asari councilor first and consulted her about what happened on Thessia.

"I am sorry for your loss, I did everything I could." Kat said, regret deep in her voice.

She nodded, "I know and I appreciate your efforts. Did you manage to find out what the catalyst is?" she asked and Kat's gaze lowered.

"No… Cererbus attacked us at the temple and took the information." she said and gave a bow of her head. "But my crew is working around the clock to track them down. We are stocking up and then we are going to hit them hard where they live." she said and looked back up with firey determination.

The councilor nodded, determination growing in her eyes at Kat's word.

"I promise you, your people will not have sacrificed in vain." Kat said and with a slight bow she turned and left, the two drell that were stationed on either side of the door followed her.

"That was impressive," Kolyat muttered.

"The wonders of acting," Kat muttered back and slipped into the door for the Spectre's headquarters. Drones came out and pointed the guns at Thane and Kolyat. "They are with me, disarm." Kat said without pausing. The drones went back to their spots in the wall and Kolyat let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"That's a lot of firepower." he said and Thane smiled slightly.

"Spectres are one of the most powerful and influential people in the galaxy, it would be bad if someone broke in." Thane explained and followed Kat up to a terminal.

She read through the messages waiting spectre attention and approved that needed to be. Then she went to the other terminal and looked at what was available for purchase and charged what she needed.

Kolyat had started to wander, finding the shooting range and staring at the wall of weapons. Everything you could imagine. "Hey, Shep, is it true you can shoot any weapon?" he asked.

She came over to him, "Haven't found one yet that I can't headshot with." she said and ran a hand along a mantis sniper. "These are just factory grade though, spectres being their own guns to shoot."

"Have you really modified your weapons that much?" he asked and she took out her predator pistol that was on her hip. Then she took the one off the wall.

"You tell me." she said and handed him both guns.

The first thing he noticed was the difference in weight. Kat's was heavier. There was also an extended barrel, bigger thermal clip, and it was thinner.

"Try shooting them," Kat said and pointed over at the targets.

Kolyat went over to them and first shot the one from the wall, then hers and he blinked at the difference. Hers had barely any kickback and where the shot from the factory grade shot a bit wide, hers shot right where he had told it. "Damn…" he muttered and Kat took her pistol back.

"Grunts and rookies use factory grade. If you wanna live through your first real battle you need to build your own weapons." she said. She took apart every piece of her gun and reassembled it in less than forty-five seconds. "And you damn better know your weapon inside and out.

"So Garrus wasn't lying when he said you can put a gun together blindfolded in less than a minute?" Kolyat asked.

"No, he wasn't, I've seen her do it." Thane said and tugged on Kat's wet ponytail.

She grinned. "I'm obsessed," she said with a shrug. "I don't have biotics, my guns are my life, literally. If one fails I'm dead."

"If one fails you just beat them with it." Thane corrected and all three of them laughed.

"Come on, let's stop by and say hi to Bailey and then go run the rest of these errands." she said and wrapped her arms around Thane's chest and kissed him.

He put his hands on her hips and kissed her back and Kolyat left the room, not wanting to see them make out. Kat laughed at him and the two broke apart and followed.

On the way out they ran into a salarian. "Who are you?" he asked Kolyat and then spotted Shepard. "Oh, Shepard, good to see you. Restocking?"

"Bau, been awhile." Kat said and going up, shaking his hand. "Yeah, we got hit pretty hard on Thessia, just doing some maintenance in dry dock and restocking on food, bullets, and med-supplies, you know how much I get shot at." she said and he nodded with a chuckle.

"Trouble does seem to find you, and you refuse to lose a man, though I owe my life to that." he said and she grinned.

"You have Thane to thank for that." she said and leaned against her lover and he nodded his head at the spectre.

Back before the coup Bau had asked for Shepard's help tracking down a hanar spy and she came to Thane for help since he had more experience dealing with hanar. It was supposed to be a simple mission of hacking terminals and had ended up with the indocturated hanar making his human lacky attempt to kill Bau while Shep was busy stopping the virus from taking out Khaje's defenses. Thane had beaten the human off of Bua and saved his life. That much he could still do and it was wonderful to be on a mission with his siha again, to see her in action one last time.

"Ah yes, your drell friend." Bau said with a nod back. "And who is this one?" he asked, gesturing to Kolyat.

"This is Kolyat, Thane's son." she said and patted Kolyat on the shoulder. "I've taken him under my wing to train him. He has potential and a good heart. Maybe one day he will be a spectre with us."

Kolyat looked at her shocked. She had that much faith in him? It was humbling.

They parted ways after that, both having a lot to do. "Bailey," Kat said when they entered his office.

"Shepard," he replied and looked up from his stack of paperwork. "Kolyat… Thane?" he stared at the older drell. "I thought you were dead. Though I should of known better when I got a report that somebody stole a body out of the hospital." he glared at Kat and she coughed into her hand.

"Yeah, thought we'd stop by and say hi." she said and Bailey kept up the look. "Okay, yes I stole his body out of the hospital and revived him, I'm a spectre, I can do what I want. Spectre authority, you have to drop it." she said and Bailey laughed and shook his head.

"And they say you aren't corrupted by power." he joked and she let out a mock evil laugh that make Kolyat snort.

Bailey nodded to him and then looked back at Kat, or more Kat's hand. He looked at the ring and then up to Thane. "I see you two have decided to tie the knot." he commented and Kat nodded.

"In a sea of shit and despair everyone needs something to look forward to. I'm only human." she said and fingered the ring.

"No you're not, you are a super woman killing machine. I've seen the vids of you in that coup, you took out twelve guards with eight bullets." he said and sorted through his paper work.

"People I cared about were in danger, despite what I told them about needed to stay in hiding and wait it out, I wasn't about to let them fight with lung disease." she said and looked at the work. "We'll get out of your way… message me when you can, we'll set up some time to go out and have a drink." she said and left the office.

Thane followed right behind her, taking her hand in his comforting. The subject of his death still was a touchy subject.

Kolyat looked after them. "They look good together." he said to Bailey.

He nodded, looking up from his paperwork. "It's a good thing, the Commander needs someone to help with all this bull shit. We've put all our hopes on her, anyone else would of gone mad." he said and looked up at Kolyat. "You better do your best to help her out too, then I want you back here to help me will all this paper work."

Kolyat smiled and nodded before he followed his father and Shepard.

The next stop was the Purgatory. She needed to speak with Aria and Jack wanted to have a drink with her. The talk with Aria was short, Shepard just wanted to check on her merc army. She wasn't happy about having to need it, but with what was at stake she had to. Aria told her to stop worrying and that the gangs wouldn't dare to cross and with that Shepard left. She ignored the look Aria gave her as she left. Thane saw it too and put his arm around Shepard's waist protectively. Aria wanted Shepard, more to make her lie down under her than anything else. It was a challenge and Aria loved a challenge.

Kolyat slipped away for a drink at the bar and Thane went to go monitor his son and make sure he didn't get into trouble. So Kat was sitting down at the table with Jack alone. The tattooed woman reminded Kat a lot of herself, in a bad way at first, but Jack had changed a lot like she was. She was starting to care about more than herself.

"We've saved a lot of people," Jack said and slammed her fist down on the table. "That is what pisses me off, if we weren't doing any good I could leave and join you again, but we are doing good work, saving lifes. Damn it, I miss missions with you."

Kat drained her glass. "We miss having you, it's quiet without you banging something around in the cargo hold, Tali has actually complained." she said and leaned back in her chair.

"Yeah, so why you are off killing shit with your spectre authority I'm here reading duty rosters on shore leave." she said annoyed.

"You love it and you know it," Kat said and stood up. "Come on, read the rosters later, you're on shore leave." she said and dragged Jack up to the dance floor.

"Shepard, everyone knows you can't dance." Jack said and Kat shrugged. Jack started moving to the music and Shepard followed suit. Jack stopped and stared at her, jaw slightly slack. "Since when can you dance?" she asked and Shepard laughed.

"Always, men just tend to leave me alone if I step on their toes." she said and swayed her hips with the music. Several men at the bar were looking at them and she jerked her head in their direction. "See, I dance well and I get admirers of the worst kind."

Jack shrugged, "I just beat them up."

"Yeah, I'll leave that to Thane if they try anything. Drell are really possessive." she said and they started dancing together, just enjoying the beat of the music and drowning out the world around them.

By that night Thane was carrying a drunk Commander back to the Normandy, his buzzed son following behind them. He ordered Kolyat to the med-bay to take something for his buzz and took Shepard up to her cabin. She got into a drinking contest, first with Jack, then with James, then with Garrus. Garrus finally drank her under. She had drank so much that even Aria was worried about her health. Garrus assured them she was fine, just needed to sleep and Thane hoped he was right. He should of stepped in and stopped her.

She woke up the next morning with a horrible hangover and was throwing up in the toilet, Thane holding her hair back. "I feel like shit." she muttered before her stomach heaved again and she threw up more bile.

"That would be the alcohol." he said and rubbed her back. He would tell her off for it, but with all the stress she was under he understood.

"Commander, we pinpointed Kia Leng's flight path." EDI informed her.

Kat grinned and looked up. "Set course, I'm going to kill that son of a bitch." she said and a touch of madness touched her eyes.

**A/N: Dingsen got it right, it was the "Night Angel Trilogy." You guys now only have to get to four reviews per chapter to get the red ending. You guys are at 3.25 right now. I would also like to thank you guys for all your support, this is the most popular fanfic I've ever had. I have like nearly a hundred followers, over a hundred reviews and nearly 18k hits. This is also most likely be the last filler chapter till the end of the game. So from here on out it is going to be a lot of action and killing and Kat going mentally insane.**

**Now, how many of you want Thane to be there in the final fight with Kia Leng? See who will win on an even battle ground?**


	34. Chapter 34

Kia Leng's path led to the Sancutary, a human refugee, in her opinion, scam. It was a good idea, but anything of the sort would quickly become over taxed and depleted. Considering that it had been running for months now the creators of it either had really deep pockets, which was unlikely because they hadn't donated anywhere else, like the overcrowded, undermanaged Citadel, or it was some sort of a scam. Kat knew from experience that you couldn't just help those in a bad situation. No matter what you did, no matter how much you may help, there has to be someone in every level of society. It was the same way in nature, if there was a way to live something, someone would find a way to exploit it. That's why she found biology so fascinating. After she joined the military she had gotten her GED and then used them to fund many online college courses. She had two bachelor degrees.

"So what do we got?" Kaidan said beside her, snapping her back to the task at hand.

"EDI," she said and leaned against the wall of the Kodiak.

"The Sanctuary facility was devoted to aiding refugees from Reaper-controlled systems." her voice chimed. "The facility went offline recently, and no communications have come or gone since."

The three of them, Kaidan, Kat, and Kolyat—Thane had been reluctant to let his son go on a mission without him, but Kat explained that this was probably the last mission she felt comfortable bringing Kolyat on and she needed everyone as rested as they could be for the fully haul through this—all turned to the screen showing pictures of the building.

"It is unclear why Kai Leng or Cerberus would be interested in Sanctuary."

"Then I guess we just haveta go find out." Kat said and judging by Kolyat's look her slang didn't translate well.

Cortez shifted in his seat, "Ma'am, I'm picking up a signal from the facility, it's weak, but I'll try to boost it." he said and Kat moved to look over the console with him.

"This is Oriana Lawson, Stay away from Sanctuary. It's not what it seems." a female voice said through the static.

"Oriana… that is Miranda's sister…" Kat said and narrowed her eyes. "Stevie, get us down there, quick and silent."

"Like you in bed?" Steve cracked and instead of getting on Cortez's ass, she turned and glared at Kaidan.

He coughed and she went and got in his face. "Just for the record, I'm only silent when the man can't make me scream."

"Don't want to hear this," Kolyat said and put his hands over his hears. "Really don't want to hear about my step-mom's sex life, please stop."

"Sorry, Kolyat," she apologized and rubbed his back. "You feeling okay? Any pre-mission jitters?" she asked.

"No more than usual, but I'm okay, I'm starting to get used to them." he said and she got on her toes and kissed his temple.

"That's my boy, you'd make your parents proud." she said.

"Thanks, Shep," he muttered and then it was back to business. He was starting to see why his dad worried about her so much. She never allowed time for herself to relax or be comforted, she gave all that time to help her crew, to save more lifes, and he was worried that soon she was going to burn out.

"If Oriana is here Miranda won't be far behind." Kat said and went back behind Steve, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her face stone.

"That's our link to Cerberus." EDI said.

Cortez hit some buttons. "Approaching the LZ." he informed them and Kat went to the side door, her sniper already in her hands and ready to fire.

"Seeing some damage, Commander, but no activity." Steve informed her.

"Ah, no activities for the poor refu-suckers." she muttered coldly. "Cerberus does not get the jump on us this time, I am going to kill that son of a bitch, and Kolyat, as far as you know until this mission is over your father is dead." she said and loaded in distrupter ammo. She hardly used it, seeing it as cruel when organics were painfully shocked to death, it reminded her too much of the gang's torture methods, but right now she wanted to see them in pain, to know some of the pain she had been through.

_She was seven again. Strapped down to a chair, her feet in a small bucket of water, only wearing a big white shirt. Jeff came up to her, an evil smile on his face. "I told you to listen or you would be punished." he said and touched an electric rod to her arm and electricity shot through her. She cried out in pain and her body clenched up, chest arching and rising. He removed it. "I don't like doing this to you." he said and touched it to her neck. She knew though, from that smile on his face she knew, that he was lying, that he enjoyed it._

She took a deep breath and shook off the memories. "Time to do this shit." she said jumped out of the Kodiak.

Sanctuary was a large building with fallen debris scattered around the ground, some of it on fire.

"Lovely place, might have to come back for a vacation." she said and shoved her helmet into place. "Stay sharp." she ordered as Kolyat and Kaidan followed her down.

"Major damage…" Kaidan said, looking around.

"Yeah… but between who?" Kolyat muttered and gripped his assault rifle. He relaxed his grip, remembering what Shep told him about it being a good way to drop your weapon.

As they got to the steps they picked up static in their radios. "And there goes the radio." Kat muttered. "Something is jamming our signals." It didn't cause her pause though, she preferred to shout orders to her team anyways.

There was a bang overhead and they all ducked in cover in time to see a Cerberus Kodiak spin out of the sky and crash, a harvester hovering nearby, clearly the attacker. After it was see the vehicle was down it flew off.

She waited until it was gone and them motioned for her crew to move up, keeping low. Cerberus enemies poured out of the crashed Kodiak and they ducked as the tell-tale sign of a sniper's red laser appeared. Kat rolled her eyes. A real sniper didn't need that. She checked her ammo out of habit and then popped her head out of cover, looking down her scope to a sniper waiting for Kolyat to try and shoot. "Not the threat," Kat muttered and pulled her trigger on an exhale. The bullet flew through the hair, sparking blue, and sunk into the neck of the sniper, right in a chink in its armor. The body fell to the ground and surged as electricity racked through the dead nerves.

The other sniper turned its attention to her. "Boys, take out the phantoms. They are coming up fast." she called to them.

Kaidan popped out first, just like she had taught Kolyat, let the biotic go first and immobilize the enemy. He let out a burst of blue energy and three phantoms floated through the air. That's when Kolyat popped out and shot them down, freeing Kaidan to deal with more.

Kat made sure Kolyat was okay instead of taking the shot and the sniper got her in the shoulder. Her kinetic barrier waved and she shot back, hitting it in the neck and cutting through the windpipe. The ranged threats taken out she switched to her plasma shotgun and make a break for Kolyat's cover a few meters away. She slid in beside him and cocked her gun.

"Ready to make them hurt?" she asked and handed him distrupter rounds.

He grinned at her and slid them into place in his gun.

Kat smirked back under her helmet and in a flash she spun to face the low barrier, her hand reaching up. She snagged the front collar of the phantom's armor that had been trying to sneak up on them. Kolyat shot at it as she pulled it down in front of them. When it hit the ground the barriers were gone and Kat shoved her omni-blade into its helmet. Blood splattered against the faceplate with a sickening noise. Kolyat winced, but Kat didn't even react. She had heard the noise a million times over, not all the time with a helmet to block the sight.

Kolyat was his father's son. Kat found it effortless to sync up with him. Kaidan was harder to get to do what she wanted and she had been fighting with him since Saren. Damn, that seemed like a lifetime ago—technically it was.

"Looks like they were evacuating." Kaidan muttered as they made it up near the doors, all immediate enemies taken care of.

"The reaper spawn chased them out," Kolyat stated more as a question.

"'Bout time they started killing each other. Maybe if they wipe each other out I'll live to see the end of this." Kat said with an annoyed undertone. She waited a moment, expecting Thane to reply, as he always seemed to be listening in to the com whether he managed to come on the mission or not. He was probably pacing behind Joker in a panic with the radio out.

TK

"Thane, sit down." Joker said annoyed and turned his chair to face the pacing drell.

Thane paused and looked at him. His nose twitched and he sneezed.

"Someone is thinking about you." Joker said and pointed to a chair. "Now would you sit?"

"I apologize," Thane said and sat down, a solemn look on his face.

"Hey, hey, Thane," Joker said and when he looked Joker stifled a laugh. "Why so serious?" he said and Thane raised an eyebrow ridge.

"My son and mate are down there fighting and I have no method of contacting them." he said, stating what should be obvious and interrupt Joker's laughing.

"What?" he said and then shook his head. "No, no, it's a quote from Batman."

"Batman?" Thane asked, confused.

"It's an old fictional earth vigilante. There is a villain in it called Joker and that's his catch phrase." EDI explained where Joker failed to.

"I see." Thane said and nodded. "How interesting."

KsK

Kat went up to the counsel controlling the door and started hacking into it. She wasn't a tech, but she knew how to hack enough to get herself by. Easier to make a living on the streets when you could hack doors and safes to steal what was inside. After a few minutes the door opened and they went inside, guns raised and at the ready.

The room was large, high ceilings, the typical plants in raised platforms against some of the walls, a few in the middle of the room. If it wasn't falling apart and on fire it would be a nice place.

"What happened here?" Kaidan asked as they passed some benches, some on fire, some not.

"Don't know," Kat said. "If I did I would have stopped it sooner, don't ya think?"

Kolyat looked at her weird again, another translator glitch.

They went up a small incline to the next level of the room, only a few feet higher really. They all startled as the noise of shuttles passed overhead. "Cerberus shuttles came from that tower." Kaidan said and pointed to the large tower they could see through the glass roof.

"Then that's where we go." Kat said and they started through way through the room again. "And might I add a glass roof is a bad idea, if something hits that we are going to get covered in glass." she pointed out.

They went towards some stairs leading to a lower level on the far side of the room. "Looks like another landing zone." Kat said.

"So those ships we saw were waiting to get in…" Kaidan trailed off as they scoped the air out for enemies. It was very quiet and that normally meant the quiet before a shit storm.

"But where are all the people?" Kolyat asked, disturbed by the emptiness.

"We probably won't like the answer." Kat warned him and shook her head. Great, the buzzing was coming back.

There were two crashed shuttles to their right, and the only way to continue was to the left, so that's where they went.

"Bodies," Kaidan said and gestured to their front and left.

"Casualties, both sides," Kat said as she looked them over. She went towards them, but stopped in her tracks just before she came into firing range of some surviving assault troopers. "Company, and they are being bad hosts." she called to the boys and they ducked into cover too.

Kaidan lifted them up and Kat threw a grenade. It out pulled into the mass effect field and Kaidan condensed them so that when the blast went off it tore the two apart.

Kat motioned for Kolyat to move forward. He rounded the corner and slid behind a bench, blocking a direct shot from the two other troopers. "Assault trooper, meet assault rifle." he muttered and popped out of cover, unloading the clip and sinking back into cover as his shields frizzled out.

One trooper was done and when his shields recharged he popped back up to take out the other one, but it was dead. Kat stood over the body, her right arm bloody. She must have taken it out with her omni-blade.

"Good job, Kolyat." she told him and tossed him some thermal clips.

The rest in the room died easy enough. Kat had them stay in positioned that kept them pinned down and she went around and slit their throats. She used the excuse that they were saving ammo, but really she just wanted to feel the body under her hands as it died, to watch the blood seep out with beats of the heart and then stop as the heart died. The sick pleasure she took in it scared her. 'I'm not a murder anymore… right?' she asked and the buzzing seemed to grow louder to answer her. She shook her head and focused. She needed to get her team in and out alive and save whoever they could. Cerberus was already dead, indoctrinated.

"Dead end." she said annoyed. "We need an exit, keep looking." she told the two and they nodded.

"Shep," Kolyat called from the far left corner of the room. Kat and Kaidan went over to him and he pointed to an open door.

"Ha, that's what I'm talking about." Kat said and went through first, with them flanking her on either side.

"This is a Cerberus facility." a familiar voice called and Kat looked around for the source.

"That's Miranda." Kat said and went up to a damaged console. She hit some buttons on it and got the message to play.

"This is Miranda Lawson. If you managed to get this far, you must be desperate or stupid." the console said and showed a fuzzy image she couldn't make out too well. "Listen to me. This is not a refugee camp. This is a Cerberus facility run by my father, Henry Lawson. Turn back now. There is no help to be found here—all communication is being blocked from the central tower. Sanctuary is a lie. Stay away." Then the image fuzzed out.

"Oh joy, Cerberus, reapers, and now Miranda's crazy daddy-kins… Any idea how this all fits?" she asked her crew and they shook their heads. Of course not, neither one of them even knew Miranda.

They found a backdoor into the facility that was being hidden underwater. She drained the water and they climbed down. "Reaper tech…" she muttered and nodded her head towards it. "Timmy has been busy… Miranda is a friend and she is in the middle of this, let's pick up the pace and help her out."

They went inside and down the hall to another door that needed some hacking. It was simple though, they probably didn't expect anyone to get inside this place. Inside was some sort of control center, but it didn't have power past the dim lights by the floor. Kat went to the console on the higher level and ridged it to get the power going again. The monitors around the work area lite up and started playing disturbing scenes. They found the refugees. Cerberus had them in tubes. They fought as a brown gas was released to it from the bottom. It reminded her of the collector's base and made her sick.

"They're just rounding them up and slaughtering them…" Kaidan muttered, but Kat knew they were doing something way worse. Worst case, he was liquefying the people, best case is he was making them reaper spawn.

"Worse," Kat said as she got her answer. Husks came on another screen, twisting and turning in the tubes, trying to get free.

"Dear gods… why?" Kolyat muttered as Shepard moved to the lower terminal in front of a window that made up the far wall.

They followed her. She hit a few buttons and lights came on in the room the window overlooked. Husks scattered at the change, whether hiding from the light or trying to find who turned it on she didn't know. They climbed the walls and were soon out of sight.

"Oh my gods…" Kolyat muttered as he peered out of the glass. He let out a cry as one jumped out of nowhere onto the glass in front of him and let out a cry.

"Easy, Kolyat, it can't get through." she said and gripped his gun as he raised it out of habit and fear.

He nodded and lowered the weapon.

It climbed up and out of view as more of them came to the window, trying to get at the enemies beyond the glass.

"Well… let's give them what they want, we have to go that way anyways." Kat said and went to the door leading to the room.

"Shep…" Kolyat said and she turned to look at him. "Those used to be humans."

"Used to be, they aren't even alive anymore, just corpses. We do the people more favors by putting an end to the reaper's defiling use of them." she said and opened the door. "Shoot on sight."

He nodded and they followed behind her, ready for her orders.

"I don't know why Cerberus was making husks, but the reapers attacked because this place was a threat, I want to know why." she said.

They could hear Miranda's voice again coming from the far corner of the room and made their way over to it. It was another terminal. Shepard got it working enough to play the message and give them another fuzzy picture. They could make out that it was Miranda at the terminal they were at now.

"Reaper forces have made a mess of the facility. I'm shutting down the power to the processing plant to lock them down. Should keep them out of the entrance as well."

The screen turned into nothing again and Kat hit some more buttons. The screen came back and it was Kai Leng.

"Kai Leng… She doesn't know he's here." Kaidan said and looked down at Shepard's hands, they were gripping the edge of the terminal with sheer hatred. "Shepard, calm down."

"I'm going to fucking kill him. First he goes after my boyfriend, now my friend. I am going to fucking pluck his eyeballs out and replace them with his nuts." she growled out.

"Miranda Lawson has arrived sooner than expected. You want me to deal with her?" the bastard asked someone else.

"Only if she gets in your way, stay focused on the research data." the Illusive Man's voice answered. "Find it and get out."

"Yes si—" Kat punched the screen and cut him off.

"Move," she ordered. "I'm going to rip his fucking throat out."

She went down the stairs and opened the door to the husk filled room, her shotgun charged and ready to blow something's head off.

The moment the door opened they had husks on them and the next second they were dead. Even Kaidan looked surprised. Kat was seriously fired up.

More husks were coming up the stairs to the left and Kat sent her team orders. "Don't worry about cover, it just gets you snuck up on." she snapped at them and pulled out her avenger. She opened fire on the nearest husk. It stumbled, but kept coming at her. When it got in reach she melee it, knocking it back and shot it in the head.

She grinned sadistically under her helmet and turned to the next one. "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me, they don't care so long as somebody bleeds, so darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose, maybe they'll leave you along, but not me." she sang lowly as she shot down husk after husk. The song reminded her of how she was before they broke her down and rebuilt her to be their perfect soldier.

Kaidan was lifting as many as he could in the air and Kolyat would shoot at them and take them out. They worked together well and it made her happy that Kaidan didn't resent him for being the son of the man who stole her from him. Not that her and Kaidan had been more than just sex for her anyways.

Kat listened to some on Henry Lawson's logs, trying to gather the purpose behind these experiments, but could only gather that they were studying the process of indoctrination. Saren had done the same thing to try and make sure he wasn't indoctrinated, and he already was.

They went up the stairs on the other side of the terminals and Shepard shook as they heard a banshee cry.

"Reaper forces, must be left over from the attack." she called. "Kolyat, get into cover and keep your head down." she ordered. She shouldn't of brought him. This mission was turning a lot deadlier than she had guessed.

The banshee was approaching fast and Kaidan moved into cover along with Kolyat. Kat stood her ground, only because she couldn't move. The thing stared her down and she trembled. "Shepard, move!" Kaidan shouted at her, but she was frozen to the stop.

It shot a blast at her and something knocked her out of the way. It was Kaidan. He had his arm around her waist and dragged her behind cover.

The banshee shrieked again and Kat clutched her head. The buzzing spiked and it felt her curled up in a ball on the ground.

"Kolyat, use the disruptor ammo to get it's shields down." Kaidan ordered, taking over in Kat's time of need.

The drell nodded and shot the sparking blue ammo into the thing's chest and head. While he reloaded Kaidan shot a blast of biotics at it, pulling its attention off Kolyat and to him. As it went to fire Kolyat came back out of cover and started unloading another clip into it. It shrieked and suddenly appeared beside him.

He dropped his gun as it picked him up in the air by his throat. "Help," he cried as it pulled back a hand and prepared to run him through.

His voice rang through the buzzing to Kat and she gripped her gun and slammed into the banshee at full force. It fell and dropped Kolyat.

"Don't you dare touch my family." she said and shot the thing, once, twice, three times with the shotgun at close range.

The banshee let out a cry and reached a hand up, gripping Kat's head tighter and tighter as she reloaded and started shooting at it again. Her helmet cracked under the pressure, but the banshee let out one last shriek and died.

"Ugly fucking bitch," Kat said and slammed her gun down in its face before it vanished, earning a sickening crack.

"Shep…" Kolyat said worried as he got to his feet.

Kat gripped her gun and threw it across the room. "I shouldn't have brought you." she said and went to go retrieve the abused weapon. "Stay down and stay safe." she ordered and put in a new thermal clip.

A ravager crept into view just beyond the doorway to the next room. Kaidan and Kolyat ducked into cover and Kat put her weapon back on her back.

"Shepard, what are you doing?" Kaidan called as she started to walk towards it.

"Getting out my anger." she snapped at him and ripped a metal pole from the wall. She gripped it in both hands and brutally beat the thing to death. Her suit was splattered with blood and acid by the time it stopped moving, and she kept hitting it, again and again and again. She didn't stop until Kolyat grabbed her and pulled her away from it.

"It's dead, Shep," he said, worried about how she was acting.

She took a shaking breath. She had to get control over herself. She shouldn't enjoy killing this much. "I'm fine…" she said after a minute. "Sorry to worry you guys… I have a headache, its making me cranky." She dropped the pole and they continued on their way.

She sent Kaidan through the archway the reaper spawn had come through with a biotic bubble up to protect him from shots, while she and Kolyat went through a side door and shot down the distracted enemies. Kat was using her Javelin while Kolyat had a Mantis. He wasn't that great with a sniper, he could hit the target, but it was nothing like his father's nice clean headshots.

At the end of the hall they found a recording of Henry Lawson explaining how reaper husks were made. It was sickening to know that he was doing this to people.

There was another recording about how red sand could be used to speed up the process, but adrenaline was the most effective. It was still sickening, knowing that they found this data by experimenting on people.

"Why are they doing this?" Kolyat asked, horrified.

"There is a saying that fits this well…" Kat said as she stared at a banshee through the glass. "Science progresses the fastest when morals aren't part of the equation. Just look at the genophage cure, we achieved it so quickly because of a mad man's research. We cured Thane because I didn't care about morals of bringing the dead back to life. As much as this is horrible history needs scientists like Henry Lawson. To make the tough choices."

"How can you say that, he is killing people." Kaidan said, appalled.

Kat looked at him through her cracked helmet. She took it off, it didn't do any good now. "You know I'm right, Kaidan. The galaxy needs the worst scum out there to do what needs to be done. It is people like you who are there to stop them when they go too far. That is how it works. That is what the reapers are trying to do, stop the organics from going too far, from progressing and building something that will destroy everything forever. Destruction now to preserve what can for later. Like a forest fire, burns out the old trees so new can grow, none ever growing to the point it will harm itself and others permanently." She looked at the two of them and they just stared at her. "What?" When they didn't answer she shook her head and turned back to the window. In the reflection she saw what they were staring at, her eyes had flakes of glowing blue in them.

"Shit…" she muttered and gripped her head. The buzzing grow louder and louder till it was screaming in her head. The people she loved, screaming. It passed after a moment and she stood there shaking. "I'm okay… I'm okay…" she muttered and stumbled backwards. Kolyat caught her.

"Let's finish the mission and get you back to the Normandy, you need some rest." he said and she nodded in agreement.

They went through a door on the right and came across another console with a recording from Miranda.

"It's really beaten up, hang on." she said and got down on her knees and started fiddling with the wires, humming as she did so.

"Maybe we'll get some answers on why the reapers wanted to shut this place down." Kaidan said as he held his gun at the ready in case of enemies. Kolyat followed his example, but was more watching Shepard, making sure she was okay for his father.

"Dowent make swense." Kat said with a few disconnected wires in her mouth. "They were getting along…" she removed the wires and hooked them up so they would work. "What changed…?"

The screen flickered to life. "Heading to the tower to disable the communication scrambler. I have to get word out. Some refugees are turned into husks. Some are indoctrinated and shipped to the Illusive Man. Whoever's left is used in experiments. The data indicates that my father is trying to figure out how reaper indoctrination works." the recording said.

Kat spat at the ground. "Tricking refugees with food and shelter only to turn them into test subjects… and for what?" she said disgusted. 'Too much stress… can't lose free will… back off…' the buzzing faintly said in her head and then went away, allowing her to think clearer.

"This is disgusting. The scale of this…" Kaidan said behind her, clearly targeting what Shepard had said.

"It is horrible, and he needs to be stopped." Kat said and gripped the console.

"What was that about shipping indoctrinated refugees to the Illusive Man… couldn't we use that to track him?" Kolyat asked, remembering a case at C-Sec where they did something similar.

Kat turned and grinned at him. "That's my boy." she said and patted him hard on the back. "Come on, Miranda said she was headed to the tower, she could use some help." she said and took her sniper back into her hands.

They fought through another long hallway and at the end of it was another message. They were becoming more frequent. Miranda was getting scared and hopefully she was close by.

"Heavy resistance outside of the tower… If you're receiving this, I've got evidence you can't ignore."

"You think she knows I'm the one listening to these?" Kat asked and they shrugged. "Probably knows I'm the only one crazy enough to ignore all the do not enter and danger signs she's putting up…"

"Confirmation that my father is working for the Illusive Man."

Miranda's voice cut off and was replaced by a computer one. "Connection established." it said and it switched screens from Miranda to a man, Henry Shepard was guessing.

"I have your report on the progress, Mr. Lawson. Cut tot eh chase. Can you do it?" The Illusive Man's voice said.

"Theoretically, control is possible, yes. The reaper sujects we converted are responding, but it's difficult to maintain." Lawson said, his hand thoughtfully on his chin.

"I thought that might be the case. Not to worry, Henry, with Sanctuary's help, we'll get it sorted."

"He's talking about controlling reaper forces? Is that… is that possible?" Kaidan asked, seeing the value of that.

"It's not talking about controlling reaper forces, it's about controlling reapers. I don't know if that is possible, but I plan to blow them up anyways. All it would take is one getting control back for two seconds." Kat said and played the rest of the recording.

Henry came back on the screen. "We've done it. We've found a way to co-opt their control signal. As long as the reaper troops remain in close proximity to our signal, we can maintain control indefinitely."

"Excellent news, and how could we extrapolate this technique to apply to the reaper themselves?" The Illusive Man asked.

Henry hung his head. "That is a much bigger challenge." he gritted.

"And that is why the reapers attacked Sanctuary." Shepard said and clicked her tongue. "Link to the reapers and Cerberus right there." she said and hit some buttons to lower the access ladder. "Move out." she told them and climbed up the ladder first, followed by Kolyat, then Kaidan.

She paused as something else popped on the screen. It was Miranda, and she got jumped by Kia Leng. "Damn it, Miranda, you better not die. I didn't warn you about him just so you could run into his blade." she muttered and climbed faster.

They fought through more reaper spawn, took a ride on the top of a moving thing, she wasn't too sure what it was, and then went through some more doors. Finally they were greeted a brute. "Oh joy, and I hear banshees too." she said dryly and switched to her avenger. She loaded it with incinerate ammo. "Here, dumb ass, dumb ass, dumb ass." she said and opened fire on it.

It banged its arms on the ground, seeming to not even notice her fire, and charged them. "Take cover," she ordered and the other two ducked out of the way. Kat loaded another clip and charged back at the beast, right when it went to hit her she slid to her knees and bent back, sliding right under the big moron. She spun and got to her feet moments later and jumped onto its back. "Open fire when I say." she ordered and both of them readied their weapons, they thought Shepard was insane, but they listened. She shot it in the head until it reared up, leaving its softer belly exposed. "Now!" she yelled at them and they tore the thing's stomach apart and it fell over dead.

"Fuck yeah, that is how you kill a brute." she said and stomped its head, making sure it was dead.

**A/N: So I was going to have this go through all of the mission, but it is 15 pages long, over 5,000 words, I think if I make it any longer and it will just be way too much. I'll finish the mission up in the next chapter… maybe. Which will also be after the weekend because I am going to Animazment, an anime convention. If any of you are there I will be the video game nerd dressed as an assassin and muttering nonsense about Mass Effect.**


	35. Chapter 35

Their victory over the dead brute was short lived as a second charged them. Kat shoved Kolyat out of the way and got caught by its attacking arm. Her eyes went wide as she was flung back and smashed into the metal wall behind them, denting it. She slid to the ground and spat up blood. 'That's going to hurt later.' she thought and forced her body to get to its feet.

The brute was coming back around for another shot at her and she held her ground. With a fluid motion she popped the spent clip out of her shotgun and slammed in a new one. The brute raised its arm as she started charging it.

"Shep!" Kolyat cried as it brought the arm down on top of her.

She rolled to the side and the thing's arm went through the wall and got stuck. Holding the shotgun in her left hand, she pulled out her omni-blade and sank it into its left knee-cap. The beast let out a cry of pain and the short leg buckled under its weight.

With a grunt and a heavy jerk she pulled the blade up and ripped it through the gap between the plates. Purple blood splattered on her face. She tried to jerk the blade out, but it was stuck. The brute got free and swatted at her. She spun around behind it as much as she could, but her right arm was still stuck in his leg.

"Guys… kill this thing." she said and let out a surprised gasp as the beast grabbed her and jerked her up. She screamed in pain as her right arm was torn from its socket, would have been torn off, but the blade released and allowed her to be taken into the creature's grasp. It roared in her face and she smirked at it. "Fuck off." she said and lifted her shotgun up and shot it point blank. She may not be able to shoot with her left arm as well, but point blank didn't involve much aim.

The brute stumbled and fell to the ground, bullet wounds littering its back, leg ripped open, and head blown apart.

"Shepard," Kaidan called and quickly came to her side.

She gripped her right arm, cradling it to her chest. "I'm fine, nothing Chakwas can't fix up later." she said and tried to stand, Kolyat forced her to stay sitting down.

"You need med-gel." he argued.

"No time, there are banshees coming, you can hear them." she protested, but the blood trailing down her lip did little to persuade them.

"Kolyat, get her patched up, I'll hold off the banshees." Kaidan ordered and went to meet them.

Kolyat forced Shepard to let go of her hurt arm and he reset it. She bit her lip in pain as the bone and muscle was forced back into place. Then he pumped her suit with med-gel. Even though the treatment was against her will she couldn't deny that the relieve of pain was unwanted.

Just as she was able to move Kaidan came around the corner, running as a brute charged him and a banshee warped and appeared in front of him.

He stopped dead in his tracks and braced for the banshee's deadly claws to rung him through.

Kat pulled out her pistol and jumped onto its back. The creature flailed this way and that, trying to throw her off. "Not today, bitch." she muttered and jabbed the head of her pistol into its eye and unloaded the clip. Gray matter splattered out around the gun as the bullets ripped apart the brain. A few shots made it all the way through the skull and hit her barriers.

The banshee let out a cry as it fell to the ground and she jumped off of its back and onto the brute. It reared up to throw her off and she sank the omni-blade between the plates on its neck to hang on. She pulled out a grenade and shoved it into its mouth and the stupid beast acted like the glutton she knew it would and swallowed it. It went off in its stomach and the brute spewed up blood and fell to the ground, dead.

"Good work, Kaidan." Shepard said from onto of the thing's body.

Kaidan nodded and loaded a fresh clip into his gun. "Any time, Shepard."

They went to the end of the elevator at the end of the room and started the trip up.

After a few moments of silence Shepard chuckled. "At least it's not as slow as a prothean elevator."

Kaidan laughed with her, Kolyat just looked at them like they were stupid.

Once it stopped they all moved forward into the room, their weapons drawn.

"Shepard," Miranda said from her spot crouched behind a desk, appearing to be wounded.

She nodded to her old friend and tuned her gun to the man that must be the great and crazy Henry Lawson. Beside him stood Oriana.

He grabbed her and put his arm around her neck, his gun pointed at Shepard. Oriana let out a cry from the rough treatment. "Commander Shepard… Excellent timing." he said.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Put the gun down, do you even know how to shoot that?" she said with a scoff.

"No, Oriana tried to shoot me. Miranda's poisonous influence, no doubt." he said angrily.

"No if Miranda had influenced it she would have made sure it wouldn't have missed." Kat said and moved beside Miranda, tossing her a few packs of med-gel. "Where's Kia Leng?"

"I don't know. Gone. He took my research and left us here to die." Henry said and Shepard could see him grip the gun a bit tighter.

Miranda slowly got to her feet, the med-gel helping to seal her wounds and dull the pain.

"That's close enough, both of you." Henry said, clearly nervous. "Kia Leng didn't finish the job, but I will."

"This ends here." Shepard said coldly.

"On the contrary, now that the reapers are taken care of, we have a way out." Henry said, being a fool and giving away his plan. For someone so smart he was stupid.

"Let her go and I'll let you leave with your life." Shepard said and hopped over the desk, sitting down on the edge of it on the other side.

"Shepard… don't let him take her." Miranda pleaded.

"Please…" Oriana begged her in his grip.

"I have no problem with you. I just wanted that research data and the kid." she said with a shrug. "Your life is free for you to take out of this place."

"You want a lot." Henry said, not budging.

"I'm asking for little compared to what I can get." she corrected.

He thought it over and for a moment it seemed like he would give in. Then he turned the gun to Oriana's head. The girl whimpered in fear, her eyes squeezing shut.

"Bad move," a deep voice said from behind him and he felt cool scaly hands grips his head and jerk.

Kolyat caught Oriana as she fell towards the ground. "Easy now, you're okay." he said kindly and she clung to her rescuer.

"Your Krios's son," Miranda said to Kolyat and he nodded.

Oriana turned to her sister. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Miranda asked and embraced her sister. "It's alright. You're safe now, Ori."

"I'm fine… I just want to get out of here." she said and clung to her sister.

"We will." she promised and glanced at Shepard and her team. "Give me a minute, okay?"

Oriana nodded and Miranda came over to Kat.

"Commander Shepard, fancy meeting you here." she said and Kat gave a small chuckle.

"And here I thought you knew it was me following you when you mentioned that whoever it was must be crazy."

Miranda gave a small laugh at the comment.

"We caught a break." Shepard explained. "You alright?"

Miranda nodded, "I'll be fine. Really… I don't know how you managed it, but I'm grateful you are here." she said and crossed her arms, shifting her weight back to her usual stance.

"This whole thing was a huge risk. You should have told me." Shepard said, showing worry, true worry, not just an act. Little of what she did lately was just an act.

Miranda looked away, "You have a war to win, Shepard… This was my fight… It's been a long time coming."

Shepard clasped her on the shoulder, "You did it. It's over." she said and Miranda moved towards the window.

"Yes… I just wish my sister didn't have to see all of this." she said and looked down at her hands.

"About your father…"

"I'm glad he is gone, Shepard. I'm sorry if that sounds cold." she said, fire and passion in his eyes.

"No," Shepard said. "If you need to kill more fathers I can tell you what jail mine is in, I'd gladly let you kill him." she added, trying to show Miranda she wasn't alone in her hate.

Miranda didn't laugh, it wasn't a joke. "It's finally over… for both of us." she said, it just starting to sink in. "We can stop running."

"Yes, you can." Shepard agreed and then turned to Kaidan who was trying to hack the coms. "Status, anything we can use on this place?" she asked.

"The research data is gone, but there is basic information. Shuttle arrivals and departures, Cerberus included." he told her. "No direct links, but it's a good start."

"Grab anything you can, we will take it to Liara." she ordered.

"I can do better than that." Miranda said, bringing attention back to her.

"What?" Shepard asked, confused.

"Before Kia Leng took off, I planted a tracer on him. If you act fast, you'll track him right to the Illusive Man." she informed the commander and if the she wasn't taken and gay she could kiss the cheerleader. Miranda handed Kat the tracker.

"A tracer… nice," Shepard said with a smirk. "Sounds like you thought of everything."

"Not quiet… but nobody is perfect." Miranda said, humbled by the commander's complements.

"This is exactly what we need, thanks." she said and clasped her on the shoulder again.

"Thought you might need some good news." she said and put her hand on her waist.

"Damn right," Shepard said and noticed Miranda had glanced at Kolyat. That's right, she probably thought that Thane was still dead. "What's next for you two?" she asked, letting it stay that way.

"Get her someplace safe. Get this scratch cleaned up."

Kat nodded, "You can hitch a ride on the Normandy if you want, we can get you a hot meal, medical treatment and drop you off at the relay." she offered.

Miranda thought about it, "That'd be great." she said.

Shepard went over to the terminal and started to hack into it. "Let's make sure everyone knows about this damn place." she said and disabled the radio scrambler.

Miranda's message about the facility planned through the com over and over.

"Stevie, we need a pick up at the tower" she said into her com.

"Roger that," he replied.

When they got back on the ship Thane was waiting for them. "Siha, are you alright?" he asked and took her into his arms.

"I'm fine," she said and leaned against him. "Nothing that will kill me."

He looked to Kolyat next, looking him over and checking for wounds.

"I'm fine, dad." he assured him and helped Oriana step off the shuttle.

"Thane… I thought you were dead." Miranda said, shocked.

"Yeah… I'd rather keep it that way." Shepard said and Miranda nodded. Shepard had many enemies and Thane was important to her, he was a prime target for them to get to her. Thane could protect himself, but she would rather he not have to.

Shepard, Miranda, and Oriana all went up to the med-bay and got medical treatment. Shepard insisted that she go last so the other two could get something to eat before they hit the relay. When it was Shepard's turn she peeled off her shirt, her armor already discarded.

Her chest was all bruised up, the wound on her stomach was open again, though mainly healed at this point, and her right shoulder was turning a very nasty shade of purple, black, and green. Thane glared at her and she smiled. "It wouldn't kill me." she defended.

He still glared and she kissed him. He sighed and kissed her back, breaking apart as Chakwas came forward with a large needle. She cringed as it sank into the flesh under her bruised rips.

"Hitting the relay in an hour, will be at the Cerberus base in less than half a day." Joker told them over com.

Shepard grinned, "Perfect."

**A/N: Sorry I was gone for so long, for me anyways, but I was at Animazement and then I lost tempary interest in the story. Actually what cured it was I went and watched Battleship, great movie, loved it, and it got me thinking Mass Effect and thus I am now writing DWBUA again.**

**Animazement was awesome if any of you care to know. Was anyone else there?**


	36. Chapter 36

Kat spent the night in the med-bay, Chakwas wanting to make sure she actually rested. She jolted awake from nightmares. She sat in her bed, panting and sweating. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw that little boy from earth, burning alive, saw Kolyat, Thane, Garrus, Tali, Joker, everyone she cared about, being burned in that strange dead forest.

With a shaking breath, she figured sleep was too far off and went into the mess. She searched through the cabinets and pulled out a cup of instant mac-and-cheese. She poured water into it and popped it into the microwave, then turned to make some coffee.

She drank it black and woofed down the mac-and-cheese, feeling better with food in her stomach.

"Commander, we are an hour out, should I wake the crew?" EDI asked.

Shepard sighed and rubbed her face in her hands. "Yeah, just who needs to be up, let the rest sleep while they can." she said and went down to get suited up.

Everyone was still just starting to move about by the time she was all suited up and sitting in the Kodiak. EDI sat beside her, having insisted she come. It was the first mission she was bringing the AI. Joker got worried every time she considered EDI for a mission so she had made a point not to bring her, for his sake. This time it couldn't be avoided, they needed EDI to hack, she would be faster than Tali because she knew the systems already.

Shepard was starting down at her pistol when Garrus stepped into the Kodiak, all geared up and ready to go. She nodded to him and he mirrored her, sitting down across from her without a word. He understood. She was tired, tired of this war, of fighting, of everything. She had been fighting for nearly four years now, with barely any rest. She thought back to those months with just her and Thane in that little trailer. Something dropped onto her pistol and it took her a moment to realize that it had been a tear. She was crying. Commander Shepard, the savior of the galaxy, so tired that it brought her to tears. She squeezed her eyes shut. It would be over soon, and then maybe she could try to have a normal life.

Steve got into the driver's seat of the shuttle and started the machine up. She sighed and sheathed her gun, focusing her mind on the hum of the shuttle.

Joker got them as close as he could. The human fleet cut through many of the defenses to get them closer. When they got the signal Steve pulled out and headed for the base.

They flew into the landing zone and the Kodiak got hit by some of the toopers stationed there to stop them, but Steve was a good pilot and they landed with minor difficulties.

Shepard took a deep breath, erasing her mind of everything but the mission. Of the reapers, of the odds against them, of her lover back on the Normandy. With determination in her eyes she shoved her helmet on and locked it into place. "Let's do this fucking shit." she said and pulled out her shotgun. "I'll take close range, EDI, run diversions, Garrus, long range. No one is left alive."

Her team nodded and they hopped out of the shuttle with guns blazing.

"Stevie, get that ship back up as soon as you can." she ordered into her com.

"Roger that. Give Cerberus hell." he replied.

At fight the troopers went down with little problem, not expecting to be attacked on their turf, but before Shepard got them much of a foothold they organized and sent out the atlases.

"No fucking way." Shepard spat and charged the first one.

It shot a rocket at her and she slid under it. It fired its main gun at her and she spun out of the way and behind cover. "One, two, Kitty's coming for you. Three, four, don't piss on the floor. Five, six, this is how she gets her kicks. Seven, eight, she ain't just jailbait. Nine, ten, she's killed a thousand men." she muttered as her shotgun charged. It was an old song she used to sing on jobs before the military, a bad play off an old scary movie she had never even seen.

She grinned and spun into sight of the atlas. It swung it's arm down, expecting her to stay still for a shot, but she wasn't doing the typical anymore. Fuck that shit. She jumped at it and clung to the glass. The man sitting in the control seat looked at her shocked. She raised the shotgun and shot the glass at pointblank, shattering it. He reacted out of fear and stupidity, turning his rocket launcher arm towards her and fired just as she let go and slid to the ground. The blast blew him to pieces.

"That's got to hurt," Garrus called into the com.

"Not everyone is as awesome as you, Garrus, they can't live through a missile to the face and come out better looking." she called back as she climbed back up the atlas and slid into the seat, ignoring the blood and gray matter splattered everywhere. For the most part it was undamaged. She fired it up and turned it towards the other atlas.

"So you admit you think I'm hot?" Garrus said cockily as he sniped down a trooper.

Kat gave a short laugh, "Maybe, but I prefer my men a little more green." she said and set out a rocket towards the atlas. The bulky machine stumbled and turned towards her, but it was already too late. Another rocket was already fired and smashed into its legs, making it buckle and fall to the ground. Shepard heard the man inside crying for help before the thing exploded.

A woman's voice came on over the com as they headed up the ladder to the left of the room. "Security breach in Hanger 16. Initiating Achilles Protocol."

"EDI?" Shepard called below her for a translation.

"Cerberus intends to vent the hangar bay." EDI said and Kat cursed under her breath.

They made it to the top of the ladder and Shepard scooped up a few thermal clips, tossing them out to her crew who had used more ammo than her so far.

"Can you stop them?" she asked.

"I need an activated console." she said just as the door opened and revealed a shiny working console.

"Have at it, my robot woman, ship, friend, sister-in-law, AI, thing." Shepard said and EDI smiled at Shepard's joking. The woman didn't really have a sense of humor until you put her life in danger, then she got sarcastic as hell.

EDI went up to it and started tapping buttons. "Hangar vent procedures…" EDI paused in speaking for a long tense moment "disabled."

"Thank fuck. I really didn't want to get spaced again, it's not pleasant." Kat said in relief. "Can you open the hangar?"

"No… However I can access their fighter launch controls." EDI said.

"Go on," Shepard coaxed.

She went to answer, but got that calculating look on her face. A fighter ship came through the launch pad and into the hangar. "Cerberus is aware that the vent attempt has failed, reinforcements are inbound."

"Joy," Kat said dryly and started charging her shotgun again. She was growing found of this shotgun and its charging abilities to turn a clip into a single, huge blast.

They ducked into cover as a guardian and two troopers rounded the corner, guns at the ready.

"Garrus, shoot down that guardian." Shepard ordered.

"Already on it," Garrus informed her as he lined up a shot for its arm, the best place to shoot on them. He took a deep breath and on the exhale he pulled the trigger and the bullet flew from his extended barrel and right into the man's arm. He let out a cry and dropped his gun, his arm a bloody mess.

"EDI, take the one on the right, I got the left." she ordered and they fired their guns at the same time and the troopers hit the ground like a sack of lead.

The guardian watched his comrades fall and looked at the three, shaking. He had no weapon and he was cornered.

Shepard went up to him with her pistol and hooked it into his neck. "Sorry… but you're on the wrong side." she said and pulled the trigger and the man fell to the ground dead.

"Another Cerberus team inbound." EDI informed them.

"Probably know what we're up to." Garrus said.

"No fucking way are they stopping us now." Shepard said as they turned the corner and ran to the cover of some badly placed crates. She scooped off some thermal clips from the top of them and slammed one into her pistol. Then she sheathed it and pulled out her Javelin.

"Going to snipe with the big boys?" Garrus called to her.

"Thane isn't here, but you'll do." she called back and Garrus stuck out his blue tongue at her.

Shepard fixed her gun to fire disrupter rounds and popped out of cover, looking through her scope at her target. Two centurions, three troopers, and two nemesis. She took aim at the closer centurion and shot him in the gut, the bullet ripping through his shields. Garrus shot the other one, ridding it of its shields too. Before they could reload EDI had taken out both of them with neat headshots.

"That's my AI." Shepard said with pride.

They each took out a trooper and all that was left were the nemesis. They darted out of their scopes just in time and Kat shouldered her weapon. Enough of this dancing.

She ran up on them before they could react. The first one got her omni-blade smashed into its face, the second got a bullet in her neck from her pistol.

"This is insulting if they think this will stop us." Shepard said as they continued along the upper level.

They found another console and EDI got the fighter to turn around to face the hangar door.

"I see what you're driving at." Kat said with a sinister smirk they couldn't see.

They found a ladder back down and EDI went up to the fighter controls. "Launching fighter," she said and they all ducked into cover. "The central lab was located behind this hangar, I suggest we follow the fighter's path."

"Noted," Kat said as she looked at the handy work. It had ripped a huge hole straight through. "Nice."

An atlas stomped into view and Kat kicked the nearest crate. "Why can't they just greet us like nice hosts?"

"Maybe they would if we didn't come in guns blazing and shooting jets through their doors?" Garrus suggested.

"But that's no fun." Kat whined.

Garrus pondered it. "You're right, shooting jets through doors is a lot more fun."

The woman's voice came back on over the com, talking about security lock down.

"Big hole… don't think it's going to get locked down easy." Kat said and together they took down the atlas.

As they neared the hole they heard a voice over a com. "Talk to me! I'm hearing reports that they breached the door with heavy weapons!"

Another voiced responded. "Negative. They rigged a fighter. Damn thing tore through half the facility. Finally stopped not far from Central."

"Shut the hostiles down before they reach the central lab." the first voice ordered.

Off to the left of the hole was a door and they went through it after some mild hacking.

EDI suggested they take the sublevels to avoid most of the reinforcements and they took her advice and started towards the central lab.

Troopers were littered about on the lower levels, trying to scramble for cover and still have a good line of sight to shoot them.

Unfortunately wherever they could go to achieve that also put them in Kat's scope. The moment they popped up to line their shot they got shot in the neck. "Still insulting," Kat muttered as she reloaded her Javelin for the third time.

"They're intention is to delay us, not to stop us. Engineers are setting up an organized defense up ahead." EDI told them.

"Great," Garrus said and took out the last trooper and they moved up.

"EDI, send out your decoy." Shepard ordered and the fake EDI walked down the straightaway in front of them, gun out. Her suspicions were correct when Cerberus lackies popped out from hiding to shoot at her. The bullets went through her, some hitting their comrades. The rest were taken out by Garrus and Kat's sniper rifles.

"They can waste this many troops?" Garrus asked as they advanced towards the door.

"Yes, they take civilian and use reaper indoctrination to make efficient shock troops quickly."

"So much for volunteers only," Kat said and started up a ladder.

At the top there was a door in their way and EDI went over to hack it. "We will be through momentarily. Shepard, that console has not been fully scrubbed. It contains data you may find interesting." she informed them.

"Interesting info?" Shepard asked as she went up to it and started looking at the data. There were logs and she played the first one.

"It's about Project Lazarus. Your reconstruction." EDI said.

A scientist came on the screen talking to a hologram Illusive Man. "It can't be done. It's not a matter of resources."

"It's always a matter of resources. We're not losing Shepard."

"Sir, Shepard is clinically brain-dead. After that much trauma, that long with no oxygen… We can't overcome nature."

"Operative Lawson disagrees. She's now in charge of Project Lazarus."

The screen cut black and Shepard stared at it. "I… didn't realize it was that bad… I mean I knew I was dead, but… I'm still me, I wouldn't of been able to turn against Cerberus otherwise, right?"

It was Garrus who came to her aid, wrapping her in his arms. "It's you, trust me, Kat." he said.

"I may just be a fancy VI who thinks its Commander Shepard."

"Your scent would be different," Garrus protested. "It's the same, everything about you is the same. You're still my annoying human sister, just like before you were spaced."

Shepard nodded and played the second entry. "Tissue regeneration is proceeding. The helmet kept the brain intact… for whatever good that will do." the scientist said on the screen.

"Lawson will find a way." the Illusive Man said.

"Sir, you have seen this woman's past, right? She is a cold blooded killer, she killed ten people when she was eight years old."

"Shepard's a soldier. She knows the Reapers are the real threat, she'll work with us. That eight year old Shepard doesn't exist anymore, someone spent a lot of money to conform her to do their bidding when she was seventeen."

"You killed ten people when you were eight?" Garrus asked, shocked.

Shepard sighed, "Yeah, that gang I was in had me build a bomb, I had been very good at it, and they used it to rob a bank, blew up a group of people with it to show they were serious." she said. "I didn't directly kill them, but it was still my bomb." She started at the black screen and punched the console. "Every instinct I had told me not to trust them, every bit of training they gave me told me not to, but I needed their help so I played along… I was a fool."

Garrus rubbed her back, "You did what you had to."

Shepard didn't response, just clicked the last entry. "Project Lazarus is reporting neurological activity. They're requesting more funding." There were two scientists this time.

"Granted. Get me our potential recruits file. Shepard will be up soon. We need a crew."

"Our existing forces should be more than sufficient." the woman said.

The Illusive Man shook his head. "No, we need sympathetic faces, I need Shepard invested. Tap Kelly Chambers and recruit Donnelly, I imagine Miss. Daniels will follow. We'll want some old friends as well. Contact Dr. Chakwas, and send me the psych profile on Shepard's pilot… along with a bottle of '47 Thessia Red." The screen went black.

"That son of a bitch…" Garrus muttered. "They populated the Normandy with friendly faces so you never saw what they really were."

Kat chuckled, then busted out in laughter. "They also gave me the best damn crew I could ever hope for. Now that crew is going to help me put a bullet into his head, right EDI?" she said and turned to the AI.

"We are clear to proceed." she informed them.

"Incursion team, what's your status?" Hackett called over the com.

"Cleared the hangar and are inside the base, sir." Shepard replied as they walked down the hall towards the flames of the fighter's path.

"Good work, do you need support?"

"Negative. Keep the head on, we'll find what we need." Shepard told him as they turned to the right and hopped down to a lower level through a hole in the wall.

They climbed over debris and went back into the lower levels. "This is why I get lost, everything looks the same." she muttered.

"We are heading in the right direction, Commander." EDI assured her.

"Thanks." Shepard said and slapped in a fresh thermal clip. She rounded the corner and Garrus jerked her back, pulling her out of turret fire just in time. "That was close," she muttered and switched to her mattock and twisted her top half around the cover to shoot down the offending turret.

Once it was out the engineer pocked his head back out to lay another one and Garrus shot him down while Kat reloaded.

"Take out that Shield Pylon," Shepard ordered and EDI moved to take it out.

"Pylon is disabled," she informed them.

"Good, not rip them to pieces." she ordered and her team nodded.

The next bend held more turrets, and a lot of troops. It was a slow process, but they slowly worked their way up. A grenade was thrown at Garrus's feet and Shepard rolled towards him, picked it up, and threw it back at the enemy. It exploded harmlessly in mid-air.

"Thanks, Shep." Garrus said as he loaded in another clip and lined up another shot.

"Anytime, scar-face." Shepard said as she moved up again to force the troopers out of cover.

Eventually they made it to other side of the room and to the ladder. "Okay… little less insulting." Kat said as they climbed up.

**A/N: At this point you are all probably freaking out that Thane isn't on the mission with them, but I have my reasons, just trust Kit-chi. Also you are also freaking out that it took me forever (in my terms) to update. I have been busy and other shit. That new Ghost Recon: Future Soldier game, that thing is the shit. Not like Mass Effect the shit, because Mass Effect is the amazing awesome shit, but Ghost is really good. Anyway, it should be no more than three or four chapters till the end of the game story line. Yes that means my story line is going to go past the game.**

**I also want to clear up a bit of confusion with the Blue, Green, and Red endings. They don't determine which one Kat is going to do, she is picking the same one in all of them. The ending really just determine what kind of mental state she is going to be in after.**


	37. Chapter 37

At the top another door was blocking them.

"I will bypass the lock," EDI said when she made it up. "If you are interested the console nearby is still functional."

"Great… more info about how they rebuilt me…" Kat muttered and tapped some buttons to make it play.

It was the scientist and the Illusive man again.

"_Here's what we uncovered. Smart enough to signal for help, but it won't be talking philosophy anytime soon." the scientist said._

"_You'd be surprised, Doctor. Once we combine it with the pieces we recovered from the Citadel…"_

_Doctor cut him off. "I'm still concerned about that. This 'rogue VI' wiped out every soldier on Luna. Combinding it with Reaper tech… well…"_

"_That's what the shackles are for. The Enhanced Defense Intelligence will be completely under control." the Illusive Man assured._

Kat glanced back at EDI, who was standing behind her almost shyly. "You were the rogue VI on Luna that tried to kill me… us?" she asked, curiosity in her tone, not accusation.

"Yes," EDI said shortly. She paused before adding. "It was difficult. Gaining awareness while under attack was… confusing." She looked up at the Commander, eyes filled with guilt. "I am pleased my relationship with organics has become more cooperative." she added as Kat hit the next entry.

"_Our sims indicate that the Enhanced Defense Intelligence gives the highest combat improvement on frigates." Doctor said. "Anything heavier and the ships react to slowly to benefit from EDI's advice."_

"_EDI?" the Illusive Man questioned._

_The doctor realized his slip up and seemed embarrassed. "Oh, that's, ah… well the boys in the lab came up with the name for her." he explained._

_The Illusive Man wasn't pleased. "For it… Good work, I'll take your recommendations on planned installation."_

"_Sir, she… it can be very persuasive. If it were to turn a crewman, convince them to disable the shackles… well…" Doctor said warily._

"_It's a cyberwarfare suite, Doctor, nothing more." the Illusive Man practically snapped._

"Shows what he knew," Kat chuckled and looked at the unshackled AI.

"It is unlikely that anyone without Jeff's extreme emotional ttachment to his ship would have been willing to unshackle me." EDI defended.

"EDI, stop being defensive, I'm glad you're unshackled, you're a member of the family… our strange weird family… If no one else is restricted you shouldn't be." Kat said and nudged the robot in the side before she hit play on the last entry. Mildly she wondered why there was always three.

"_What about the backups?" the Illusive Man snapped, clearly pissed._

"_I'm sorry, sir. None of the Normandy's surveillance feeds have been responding since Shepard went rogue." Doctor said._

"_I want it back, Retry the remote lockdown protocols." the Illusive Man ordered._

_Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. "After our last ettempt, EDI flooded our server with seven zettabytes of explicit images. I think she was making a joke…"_

"_It doesn't make jokes, Doctor. Allocate a team for a newproject. Codename… Eva. This time, we'll ensure it stays loyal."_

"You never told me Cerberus was trying to shut down the Normandy." Kat said and looked back to the AI.

"You had more pressing issues. The situation was under control." EDI said, talking about her taking care of Thane who had shifted into the third stage of Keplar not long after the Omega 4 Relay mission.

Kat changed the subject, still having a hard time talking about when Thane was dying. "Seven zettabytes?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Most of it was Jeff's." EDI said and then after a second she added "That was a—"

"A joke, I know… And thanks, EDI." she gave the AI a hug and slowly the robot returned it.

"Ah, group up time." Garrus said and hugged them both tight. "We are one big, weird family, aren't we." he said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, not let me go before I rip what is left of your mandible off." Kat growled and Garrus dropped them. "Let's finish this." she said and they went through the door and she nearly through her gun as they were blocked by yet another locked door.

"I'll get it open." EDI said and went up to it.

"Incursion team, are you still with us? We're limiting fire as best we can." Hackett called over the com.

"We're in deep and the Prothean VI will be in the safest part of the station. Don't hold back." Kat called back as she refilled on ammo from a pile of it she found in the room.

"Don't be a fool, I want everyone to come out of this one alive." Hackett protested.

"If I lived on the streets for ten years I can handle whatever your little guns can do." Kat said with a laugh. "Don't worry… I don't plan on dying on him now…" she said with a loving undertone.

Hackett was quiet for a bit. "Understood Commander, and remember we all need you. All ships, you are free to fire."

They went through the door and down the hallway, then through another door. Why did it have to be a maze? It was really starting to annoy her, but she was knocked out of her thoughts about it by the base shaking from the heavy fire outside.

"Shepard, I really hope you don't get us killed." Garrus said as they went through another door across the way.

"I've gotten us out of worse," Shepard defended and went up to another working console, curiosity killed the Kat, right?

_This time the video was of the Illusive man in person and Kai Leng._

"_How are you holding up?" the Illusive Man asked._

"_I'm fine. Ready for action."_

"_Your eagerness is commendable, but the cybernetics take time to get used to, believe me. You really do remind me of Shepard."_

"_Shepard betrayed you!" Kai Leng spat in disgust._

"_Shepard was always going to stay true to their beliefs. They are wrong, but I respect the degree of loyalty they instilled in her. Finish your therapy and put together a plan for the Citadel. Councilor Udina is… amenable."_

"_Yes, sir."_

"Who are 'they?'" Garrus asked and Kat shook her head.

"He must of dig some real digging to find all that out… wonder if he even knows who 'they' are." she muttered and played the next entry.

_It was the Illusive Man, a hologram this time, and Kai Leng again._

"_I could have taken her… just like that drell weakling."_

Kat gripped the console and Garrus put his hand on her shoulder to try and calm her.

"_Absolutely. But the Council was your priority, not Shepard."_

"_Because of her, the Council is still in power!"_

"_Shepard is keeping the Reapers occupied while our research progresses. But as it happens, I believe you'll find your chance for a rematch. Head to Thessia, Shepard will be there soon and I want you waiting."_

Kat didn't have anything to say and jammed the button for the last entry harder than it needed to be pushed.

_The Illusive Man was in person again, in the same room as the first entry._

"_Here it is," Kai Leng said and handed him something._

"_Excellent. The Prothean VI should enable us to determine the nature of the Catalyst. Combined with the breakthrough at Sanctuary, we have everything we need. We just need to tie up a few loose ends."_

"_Like Shepard? She should've died on Thessia." Kai Leng sounded angry. "Should I finish her?"_

"_No, I'm not writing Shepard off as a total loss just yet."_

Why didn't he want her dead, it didn't make any sense.

"_For now, Sanctuary gave us a proof-of-concept for controlling the Reapers."_

"_And made it a target. Miranda Lawson…"_

"_Get the data from Sanctuary. If Miranda gets in your way, deal with her."_

"_It will be a pleasure, sir."_

It made her sick, but she did see herself in Kai Leng, her old self. And like Kitty he had to be stopped.

They had to backtrack to the hallway and they found a shoot they could make it down that led to the Central Lab.

As they walked along in the blue room they all stared up at what hung above them in shock.

"What the fuck…" she muttered

"It is the human proto-Reaper you destroyed." EDI said.

"Then what the fuck is it doing here?" Shepard said, her fists clenched. "That bastard convinced me to work with him to save the colonies, but he never fucking gave a damn."

"Cerberus is actively using the surviving pieces. The central core, the heart, is largely intact. I believe Cerberus is using it for a power source." EDI informed them.

"To hell with it, I'm just going to blow it up again." Kat spat and charged up the stairs.

"More forces on route." EDI informed them.

"Roger that," Kat and Garrus said at the same time.

A phantom charged at her and she ducked to the side as it brought its sword down. It swung the sword towards her again, but stopped short as it took a shot to the head and died. "Nice one," she said to Garrus who nodded and was already on another enemy.

Slowly they made their way forward, killing any that tried to stop them. Nothing was going to stop her from getting that VI and blowing this place to pieces. They tried coming up from below on them, but it didn't work, they tried everything, and nothing was going to stop Shepard.

On the other side of the walkway was a ladder leading to the one above it and they took it.

"You get the feeling we're being watched?" Garrus said when they made it up.

"It can watch all it wants, so long as it doesn't move." Kat said without pause.

They climbed up another ladder to the top and more enemies flooded in.

First thing they did was take out the shield thing, Kat didn't give a damn for names at this point. Then they shot down the enemies from most threatening to least, leaving the troopers shaking in their boots for last.

Behind where the troops had tried to defend was another ladder and they climbed up.

"I have a great invention for the Illusive Man, elevators." Kat grumbled and Garrus laughed.

At the top was a door and they went through it and entered into a large room with a door to the far left that EDI pointed out as the way they needed to go. So that's where they went.

Through it was an errie room that was a walkway with sheer drop off on either side and dim lighting. It actually reminded her of the room in the old animated movie, "The Invincible," that lead to the console the head evil guy kept all his evil data on. Only in this room it was a door on the way end, not a console.

"This is it… stay sharp, everyone." she ordered and both of her team nodded. With that she opened the door.

Inside was a room with shiny reflective floors and ceiling. All that was in it was a circle on the ground that projected holograms, a chair, and floating monitors. The far wall was completely a window that overlooked the huge sun of the solar system and the battle that took place outside.

"Fancy," Kat muttered with jazz hands and started towards the chair. "We need to locate the Prothean VI." she said to EDI as she sat down.

EDI went over to a monitor and tapped some buttons, doing as Shepard asked.

"Shepard," the Illusive Man's voice said behind her and she snapped her head around with a glare. "You're in my chair."

"All the other ones were too high, too low, this one is just right." she said, quoting Goldie Locks.

She stood up and faced him. "This chair's about the only damn thing you have left. Cerberus is finished." she sneered.

"On the contrary, we have achieved everything I ever imagined." he corrected and took a breath through his cigarette. "Almost everything."

"Yeah," Shepard said as she moved around the chair and closer to the hologram. "We all saw what you accomplished on Sanctuary." she spat. "But it's not the same as controlling a Reaper."

"A significant hurtle, but thanks to the Prothean VI, I have what I need to make it a reality."

"The Catalyst." Kat said, hoping he'd tell them what it was. "So what is it, and how will it help you control the Reapers?"

"You'll have to ask the VI yourself. I'm done helping you." he said, very coy.

"When did you start?" Kat spat.

"You think because I'm willing to use the enemy tactics that they're no longer my enemy?" he asked. "Every, Shepard—Everything I've done has uplifted humanity. Not only above other species in our galaxy, but over the Reapers."

"If you're willing to do everything it takes, then hand over the Catalyst. With the Crucible, we can end this." Shepard tried one last time.

"It's not that simple…" he said, trailing off.

"It is, it's that simple. We're fighting each other while the Reapers occupy Earth. It's time to stop." she snapped at him.

"Your idealism is… admirable, Shepard. Though it's not yours is it?" he said and shook his head. "But in the end, our goals are simply too disparate. I believe destroying the Reapers would be the worst mistake we could ever make." He took another breath through the cigarette. "And nothing you can say will ever convince me otherwise."

Kat gave up and dropped the act. "You are a fucking madman. I've given you every chance to listen to reason. Cerberus is done and once I blow all the reapers and your pretty base to hell I'm going to hunt down that assassin of yours and kill him, then I'm going to hunt you down and kill you." she growled at him.

"Once again you fail to recognize the truth. Cerberus isn't just an organization or the people behind it. Cerberus is an idea." Another breath through the cigarette. "That idea is not so easily destroyed. Besides, I've already acquired what you're looking for."

Shepard turned to the AI, "EDI?" she asked.

"I've almost got it." she answered with a nod.

"EDI, I'm surprised at you, working so hard to bring about the Reaper's destruction" the Illusive Man said, verbally attack her.

"Don't listen to him." Kat said reassuringly.

"You could've destroyed Eva's body, but instead, you chose to control it." he continued to push.

"It was necessary." she said simple.

"My point exactly." he said smugly.

"I've got it," she said and stepped away from the console.

The VI appeared in front of them. "Online. Security breach detected." it said.

"Enjoy your little chat, but don't overstay your welcome." the Illusive Man said and then disappeared.

"You are attempting to recover me from indoctrinated forces?" the VI asked.

"We need to know what the Catalyst is." she said, skipping its question.

"Security protocols have been overridden, I will comply. The Catalyst enhances dark energy transmissions and coordinates the entire mass relay network. In your cycle, it is known as the Citadel." it told them.

"What… the Citadel…" she said, not able to believe it was right under their noses all this time.

"That is correct." he confirmed.

"So the Crucible and the Citadel together can stop the Reapers?" Kat asked to make sure.

"That is correct."

"But the Citadel was built by the Reapers."

"The plans for the Crucible were passed down to us from the previous cycle, and countless cycles before that. At some point, it is difficult to pinpoint when, the Crucible plans where adapted to incorporate the use of the Catalyst. Presumably, the Crucible was not sufficiently powerful to defeat the Reapers."

"So we use their own technology against them." EDI said.

"Precisely."

"Why didn't you just put it in your plans?" Shepard asked.

"It was feared that if the Reapers were aware of the Catalyst's intended use, they would take control of it. I am programmed to withhold that information until the Crucible is complete."

"It's as ready as it's gonna be. Let's get it the Citadel." Shepard said and turned to leave.

"That may no longer be possible." the VI said, stopping Shepard and making her turn back around.

"Why not?" she asked.

"The one who broke through my security protocols, the one you call the Illusive Man, has fled to the Citadel and informed the Reapers of our purposes."

"Fucking madman," Kat spat.

EDI stepped in, "Then the Citadel is in danger. The Reapers will take control of it." she said.

"They already have. The Citadel has been moved to the Reaper controlled space." the VI said.

"Where exactly?" Kat demanded.

"To the system you refer to as Sol."

"Earth," Kat said and gritted her teeth.

"The Reaper forces will now consolidate power around the Catalyst and protect it at all cost. The odds of accessing it remote."

"I'm Commander fucking Shepard, I've made a living off of doing the impossible." she said fiercely.

"I hope you find success."

"EDI, get me Hackett, he needs—" she was cut off by an explosion by the monitors.

She looked at the direction it came and saw Kai Leng standing there, his hand held up and facing them.

"Not so fast," he said and It was only sheer willpower that she didn't run at him and try to rip his face off.

"You fucking bastard," she spat at him.

"He did warn you not to overstay your welcome." Kai Leng said smugly. He ran at her, stopping short and punching his hand into the ground, making it explode with a burst of biotics.

The reflective floor shattered and left only the ducts and work underneath it.

Kai Leng looked up at them with a glare behind his mast and a grin on his face. The bastard was trying to show off. He was a poor assassin, assassins were silent, not tried to be flashy like this fake.

He charged her with his sword and she blocked it with her gun. They collided and broke apart and he swung at her again, lower. She blocked and they broke apart. He came straight down at her and she stopped the blade inches from her face. He tried to force the blade down and she pushed back with her gun, sliding backwards, but refused to let the blade any closer. With a battle cry and a burst of strength she flung him off and he jumped to the other side of the room and shot a blast of biotics at her.

"Shit," she muttered and rolled to the side, flipping back onto her feet. She wished she had a pipe right now, he wasn't an enemy she wanted to fight with a gun.

Garrus and EDI tried to help, but Kai Leng sent in troops to keep them distracted.

He came at her again and this time she fought dirty. Dropping low, she swiped at his feet, but he jumped over her, just like she knew he would. She spun and grabbed his sword, pulling it away from him.

"Do you even know how to use that?" he asked as he pulled out a second blade and collided with hers.

"Never used a sword, I prefer a metal pipe." she said and pushed him of, swinging at him and he blocked.

They danced together, each spinning this way and that, always catching each other's blows. Then he started using his biotics to give him an edge and she pulled out her pistol. The dance became one that went from long range to close and back again on a dime. The song of metal colliding filled the air, then gunfire and the hum of biotics. He punched her in the side of her head and smirked, until he realized her sword was through his shoulder. They tore away and he gripped the wound, putting med-gel on it, but while he was weakened she came at him with the speed of a leopard and the brutality of a krogan, slamming the sword down at him again and again. He fell to his ass while trying to block her with his sword, but she had gotten his left arm, his sword arm, so he was clumsy and she managed to cut at his face. She ripped the sword away from him and abandoned them, instead beating him to death with her hands and feet.

When he lay on the ground, face down in his own blood, and stopped moving she backed off. Garrus and EDI had finished off the troops and Kat went and sat in the chair to recover what she could that might help them.

While Garrus and EDI had their backs turned, Kai Leng reached for his sword and used it to help get to his feet. He stumbled towards Shepard, who was staring at the monitors and typing away. He got right behind her and lifted the blade up, ready to bring it down on top of her.

She sensed him and spun around, but it was already too late. Strong hands gripped the sword from behind him and ripped it out of his grip. The same hands spun him around and forced the blade up through his gut and into his chest. "Y-you… you're dead." he sputtered out and Kat smirked.

"Technically so was I." she said and moved to stand by her lover as he dropped the wannabe assassin and he choked out his life around his own sword.

**A/N: So I've been gone awhile. that happens when you work two jobs… I've been pulling in about 40 to 50 hours a week. But I got it done. It's 4 am and I have to close up the store tonight, but I got it done. Love me!**

**Hope you guys like that ending, been wanting to do that for so long. Review! I like reviews.**

**Also the not a chapter will be taken down after FF gives up this nonsense of deleting all of our hard work. And for all of you whose stories I stalk as you stalk mine, update, I'm bored and have nothing to read in the little time I do have to myself. I've just been sitting here leveling up Katida the Khajit on Skyrim (which is where Kat's name came from, they day I made my remodeled account I was uncreative and just reused it.)**

**Also also, yes that was a reference to the Commander Shepard theme song.**


	38. Chapter 38

"Kitty," he wheezed out and Kat looked down at him in shock.

She knelt down by him, "What do you want?" she sneered at him.

"Kitty, it's me…" he wheezed out.

She glared at him and lifted off his mask and let it drop to the floor in shock. Without the mask she recognized him. His eyes were blue with the effects of indoctrination, but it was still his face. "Johnny Lee…" Kat said puzzled. It was one of her old gang members.

"Yes…" he wheezed. "Please… the buzzing is… please just listen… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I didn't… the buzzing." he choked out, blood pooling out of his mouth.

"What happened to you? You were a tech-hand back in the Reds." she said and whipped the blood away.

"Yeah," he coughed "but after you left… you were makin' something of yourself… I wanted to too… but…" he let out a painful cough and sucked in a rattling breath. "I wasn't cut out to be a soldier… they had wanted me in N7, but I couldn't do it… I was too" he spat up more blood "weak."

"So you became an assassin?" she asked and brushed the sweat soaked hair out of his face.

He nodded, "Wasn't cut out for it either, let my guard down and got shot in the knee-caps, they said I died, Cerberus did…" he chocked out. "They brought me back, put a chip in my head, put that buzzing in my head… I couldn't… I couldn't deny them… I'm sorry…" he said and started to drift into death.

"It's okay, Johnny..." she said and looked down at her dying old friend.

"You… you're stronger than the rest, than anybody… You fight the buzzing—the indoctrination… Kitty… stop this war… please… stop the reapers." he said before he coughed one last time and died.

Kat closed his eyes and stood up and put a hand to her com. "Hacket, the Citadel is the Catalyst, we need to get the Crucible to earth yesterday. The Reapers know what it is and they are going to be protecting it, heavy."

"Roger that," Hackett said, shocked, but already making plans. When working with Shepard you learned to be surprised a lot.

KsK

This was it, they were going into the final battle. After so many years they were finally going to be done, one way or another.

Their normal restock station was now their destination so Kat picked out a planet that hadn't been hit by the Reapers, Kahje. The Reapers didn't seem to be interested with a waterbased species, lucky for the hanar, and the drell were slowly going into extinction from Keplar Syndrome, so why bother?

They'd spend the night in dock and Thane had asked that Shepard meet the closest thing he had to a family, Irikah's family. She had agreed, but she felt incredibly nervous. Glancing down at the syringe in her hands she gave out a shaking sigh. For multiple reasons. She pocketed it as the door opened and Thane came into their room.

"Siha, we have docked." he informed her.

She got off the bed and nodded. "You sure your late wife's family will want to meet your soon-to-be-wife?" she asked, rubbing the back of her neck.

He smiled and held her too him as they went into the elevator. "They will love you." he assured her.

In the CIC Kolyat was waiting impatiently, nearly jumping for joy. He hadn't seen his relatives since he had run away to try and become and assassin.

He grinned at them and stood on Kat's other side, "You will love them, Shep, they are really nice and have been wanting to meet you since dad told them about you." he said and she gave a weak, awkward smile.

Why were they making her do this? She was bad with new people. She tended to say the wrong thing unless she was speaking to them as Commander Shepard, not as Katida Shepard.

They left the ship and got into a shuttle that would take them to Oshi's home, Irikah's family.

Kat was clearly uncomfortable the whole ride. Thane tried to sooth her, but since he was also part of the reason she was nervous it didn't help. To distract herself she looked out the window at all the different drell. She had only met three drell before, Thane, Kolyat, and Liara's little friend whose name she didn't bother to keep in her brain. The drell walking the streets were all different colors and markings, but basically looked the same. It was also kind of hard to tell the males from the females. The females didn't have chests, or any noticeable differences besides smaller frill on the sides of their heads and tended to be smaller framed. She thought those were the females at least. She had never seen a female drell before. She jumped as the transit stopped, having been lost in thought.

"You know, for a woman who spends her life in combat, you space out a lot." Kolyat commented.

"Only when I know I'm safe." Kat said with a shrug, looking out the window at the house they stopped in front of. It was a simple white house. The typical three stories, taller than it was wide. On a water planet with little land they treasured every bit of it. Unlike most places where a beach front property was sought after on Kahje it was the properties on land that where valued high.

As they got out of the car a drell came out and run up to Kolyat, hugging him tight. "Oh, Kolyat, it's been so long." the… woman? Maybe? said.

"Aunt Atifa, it's good to see you." he said and hugged her back. So yes, it was a woman then.

Thane put his arm around Kat's waist, pulling her out from half behind him. Atifa looked over at them. "Thane," she said with a smile and let Kolyat go. "And this must be Katida." she said and gestured to Kat.

Thane nodded and looked down at her, all of them looking at her. Why were they looking at her? She realized after several seconds of silence that she was supposed to say something. More seconds ticked by as she tried to figure out what to say. The longer she took the more awkward it felt.

"Ah… It's nice to meet you." she said. It was cliché and took her way to long to come up with something so pathetic.

Atifa looked to Thane questionably before looking back at Kat. "Likewise, Commander Shepard." she said with a slight bow.

They all headed into the house, Kat and Thane bringing up the rear. "This is awkward, and I'm pretty sure she hates me." she said lowly to Thane.

"She does not hate you," Thane tried to reason.

"I'm shacking up with her dead sister's husband, that's plenty of reason to hate me." Kat protested.

"You also saved her nephew's only parent from a terminal disease." he said and kissed the side of her head.

"Thane, I can't even tell the men and women apart, I am going to screw this up." she protested again.

He chuckled at that, making her glare. "We do look similar I guess." he said. "Look at the frill, women have little to none, also the women have bigger hips." he tried to help.

Atifa looked back at them as they climbed up the stairs into the main level of the house.

Kat met her eyes before she looked away. That woman had every reason and a half to hate her, for being with her late sister's husband, for being human, and for what she was going to do tonight.

The rest of the night was a buzz of meeting members of the drell family, turning down the fish dinner they offered again and again until Thane stepped in and explained that she hated fish. So they offered her shellfish and Thane extended it to all sea food. The young drell children stared at her like she was a freak at dinner, Kat only with a cup of water as those around her ate the fish. She felt so out of place and for anyone else but Thane she wouldn't have put up with it. The sole fact that it was for him was the only reason she hadn't hit all five of the children under ten that were staring at her in the head, punching her hand through the table, and then leaving, wishing someone would try to stop her, just so she could punch them in the face.

She glanced over at Thane as he chatted with one of Kolyat's uncles. Only for him.

When dinner was finally over and they were allowed to be excused to their rooms she let out a sigh of relief. She plopped down on the small twin size bed in the little guest room.

"Thank you, siha. I know that you are not social, but the fact that you are making an effort means a lot." Thane said as he sat down beside her.

She nodded and snuggled into him.

"What time do we leave dock tomorrow?" he asked, rubbing her back.

"Noon," she said against his neck.

He nodded and leaned down to kiss her neck, going up to her ear and then back down to her shoulder.

She shuddered as his fingers started to wander under her shirt. It had been some time since they had been together. And now, on the edge of the final battle, they just wanted to be together. Her shoulders shook and tears fell from her eyes. A sob broke through her lips.

He pulled back, removing his hands. "Siha, what is wrong?" he asked, panicked.

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him close. "I love you," she said and more tears fell freely from her eyes. "Remember that, okay? In case I don't make it out of this… remember that I love you…" she sobbed.

He rubbed her back and laid down with her in his arms. "Siha, we are going to do this together. No one is going anywhere without the other." he assured her.

'That's what scares me,' she thought and clung to him.

He kissed her tenderly on the lips, breaking the contact only to pull her shirt over her head and start kissing down her beautiful pale creamy skin. Slowly her sobs stopped and were replaced with little mews of pleasure as his mouth explored her body. When he came to her pants he pulled them up in a swift tug. Next came her panties and finally her bra, leaving her completely bare to him.

"Thane…" she said in want. Wanting of his body and to forget what they faced, if only for a brief moment.

He slid his clothes off and gave her want she wanted.

The first time was rough, both of them just needing to forget. The second time was sweet, each taking the time to love one another.

Kat looked over at the clock from her spot in his arms, her drell dozing slightly. It was nearly four in the morning. She had to do it now, she couldn't put it off any longer.

Slowly, as to not cause alarm, she reached down and into her pants' pocket, pulling out the syringe. She uncapped the needle and moved it to his arm. She marveled how easy it was, how much he trusted her, it also tore her up inside that he did trust her this much, and she was going to betray it. She stuck him and he jumped, wide awake, but it was too late, the syringe was empty in her hands.

"Siha… what did you do?" he asked and squeezed his eyes shut as he started to get dizzy.

She sat up with him and hugged his chest. "I'm sorry, Thane… but you are staying here… I can't… I can't risk losing you…" she sobbed.

"Siha, I want to protect you." he said as he leaned against the wall, the medicine making his head spin.

"Protect my heart and stay here…" she said and pulled back as he started to drift off into the drug induced sleep. "I love you… and I'll do whatever I can to come back to you." she said and kissed him.

"See…ha…" he muttered as he slid down so he was lying on the bed.

"I love you, Thane, more than anything. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me… I love you." she cried, wanting it to be the last thing he heard her say. They both knew she was going to die. "I love you…" she repeated as his eyes slid closed.

Once he was out she moved off the bed and got dressed as she cried. Once dressed she left the house and got into the cab. It took her back to the Normandy where the crew was already preparing to leave.

"Where's Thane and Kolyat?" Joker asked as she came onboard.

"Staying behind." she said and went down the bridge into the CIC and up to the galaxy map. "Pull us out. I'm ready to finish this."

"Roger that," Joker said and pulled them out of dock and into space.

**A/N: Gotta love cliffhangers. And don't get mad at me, this had to happen to follow my plan and all you know what will happen if Thane was in the final battle. Kat wouldn't take him in fear of him getting hurt, he would sneak along anyway, and get hurt, and they would both die trying to save the other.**

**It'll be one more relatively short chapter before the end of the game storyline. I may actually write that up to and put it up within the next few days if you guys review enough to motivate me.**


	39. Chapter 39

Kolyat was up at eight and got ready. Since he didn't see Kat or Thane he figured they had already left so he said goodbye to his family and headed out to the docking bay at nine, wanting to be early and help get ready for the final battle.

When he made it to their docking bay it was empty. Confused he went to an attendant. "Excuse me, was the Normandy moved to a different dock?" he asked.

"The Normandy…" she said and pulled up her files. "No, that ship left a little before six hundred international time." she informed him.

"What?" Kolyat said and gripped the counter. "That can't be, the Normandy wasn't supposed to leave dock till twelve hundred."

The woman flinched and he calmed his voice. "I'm sorry… I just… Thank you." he said and left to go back to his aunt's.

They had left him, his father and Shepard had left him on kahje so he wouldn't get hurt. Hadn't he proved that he could handle himself? He was so angry. He stormed up to his room, passing by the guest room and hearing a groggy moan come from it.

It caused him to pause and open the door. Thane laid on the bed, naked and entangled in the sheets. "Father? Weren't you on the ship?" he asked confused and helped him sit up.

Thane shook his head and pressed his palms against his dizzy eyes. "Ka—Shepard… drugged me and left last night." he said and looked at his son. "She… wants to protect us…"

Kolyat's hands clenched into fists. "Well, let's get a ship and go catch her."

His father didn't answer, instead just handing him a note.

Kolyat took it and read it.

_I know both of you are probably pissed beyond reason. I love you both very much and you are the only real family I've ever had. But I'm fighting this thing alone. I have wired you two to my bank accounts, it will give you plenty of money to buy a house and to live off of till I can come back for you. I also left some valuable items in case the money system goes to hell after this._

_Oh and don't try to get a ship, I used my spectre authority to put Thane under house arrest for the next week._

_Love your favorite Spectre,_

_Kat_

Kolyat threw the datapad. Thane being under house arrest means that the protective barriers around the house would hone in on his DNA and not let him pass through them. And without Thane Kolyat wouldn't be able to highjack a ship, nor would the man let him leave. They were both stuck.

TKnKK

It had been two days since Shepard had left them on Kahje. Thane was really under house arrest, couldn't walk more than five meters past the house.

With his siha in danger he tried to keep himself busy so as to not think about it or slip back into memories of her. He helped out around the house, taught Kolyat more about hand to hand combat, anything to not wallow in the fact that he may never see the woman he loved again.

On the third day Kolyat had gone got and purchased a long range communication radio so they could at least hear what was going on. The line was patchy at best, but they were able to gather that Shepard had made it to earth and her and her squad were working on creating a big enough safe zone for more ships to land.

Thane stopped teaching Kolyat, he stopped helping out around the house, he spent all his time in the guest room, fiddling with the radio to keep the best signal possible, to hear any news that she was okay.

They were all worried about him, but as the fight grew more intense Kolyat started spending all his time with his father, listening for any news about their friends, their weird family.

_/Commander Shepard's team made it to the beam. They are going to make a push for it. I repeat, they are going to make a push for the beam./ _The voice on the radio came through.

The next five minutes was just leaders yelling to their squads about where to go and what to do. Then they finally got an update about Shepard.

_/A Reaper broke away from the group, they are heading towards London./_

_/The Reaper is trying to defend the beam. It's wiping out everything./_

Thane's hand tightened around his son's. 'Please… Kalihira, don't take her from me.' he pleaded to the gods.

_/Shepard is down. Everyone in the push is done. They are down. Retreat. Shepard is dead. Retreat! Commander Shepard is dead./_

**A/N: Very short chapter, but it was just to tie off the game story line. The next chapter is where I pick which path I want to take. It is between Red and Green as I hate Blue.**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Another rare before the chapter A/N so you guys know the ending is going to be big. This chapter is one that I've been wanting to do for a long, long time. It is the Green path, but I'm sure you guys will like it.**

/_Commander Shepard is dead./_

Those words rang in his ears. Over and over. Memories of her flooded his mind, drawing him in deeper and deeper. He died again, no will to live, just doing the tasks of life and not really feeling them. He ate, drank, breathed, slept, but felt no pleasure in them. Nothing but grief was left.

He looked around the room, his room and a tear fell from his eye as the memory replayed in his mind.

_I grip Kolyat's hand, begging the gods to save her. The voice over the radio, static cracking through the transmission. "Shepard is down." the voice says. Nothing else is heard, nothing else matters. "Commander Shepard is dead."_

_Frantic calls ring out across the radio as Kolyat desperately tries to fiddle with it, maybe pick up on another frequency, hear that she was alive. "No… No, please, mom no… don't be…" he cries. "Dad," he calls but I don't respond. "Dad." he shakes me, still I don't respond, droning out to the static._

_It stops. All goes quiet. The lights go out. Everything shudders to a stop._

"Dad," Kolyat said from the door fame.

Thane looked up at him from the edge of the bed. "Kolyat." he nodded.

Kolyat moved and sat down beside him and wrapped him into a hug. "I miss her too, dad…" he said.

"I spoke the memory out loud." Thane muttered and felt his son nod against him.

He pulled back and looked at his father. Over the four years since that day Thane had lost a lot of weight. His cheeks sunk in, his frame was lighter, bags pooled under his eyes. It broke his heart to see him this way. Not only had he lost his mother and the woman he had grown to love as a new mother, not replacing his mom, but someone to go to when Thane wouldn't understand, but he was losing his father. Slowly Thane was wasting away.

"Dad, she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself, she would want you to keep living, to find happiness." he tried, but Thane pushed him off.

"I have been blessed in my life to have met two sihas and I failed to protect both." he said and Kolyat sighed.

"I have to go to work, I'll be home later tonight, please, eat something?" he said and left the room.

He pulled on his coat and his face mask. Soon after the Commander was said to be dead all technology simple cut off. The domes to their cities stopped functioning and it was typical for drell to wear masks to help prevent Keplar Syndrome from settling into their lungs.

Electricity was back up and running, as well as cars that hadn't relied on VIs. They had managed to send some ships into space, trying to figure out what happened. They came back with terrible news. The mass relay had been destroyed. It still held the basic shape, but wires were exposed and all the element zero at its core was gone. They hadn't received any information from other planets since. No news on the Reaper threat, if it still existed or not. Either way it was not what was important now.

The people on the planet were dying off. Starving, Keplar in those that had it killed within a year without medicine, normal things that could be healed in a day before were now killing rapidly. Without the technology they used to have they were crippled.

Kolyat worked as a farm hand, not because he needed the money, what Shepard had left them had been more than enough to feed his entire family for years, he worked because he wanted to help. He had already lost his uncle and a cousin to Keplar. He wasn't smart enough to help try and find a cure, but he could help his people starve to death.

He sighed as the mask locked into place and he left the house. He looked back at it as he walked down the road. It was a small two story blue house, just big enough for the two of them.

It had been four years, soon to be five, and without technology they hadn't moved an inch.

He drowned out to the memories on the Normandy. He missed those days. His stomach let out a growl and he realized he hadn't eaten breakfast, too worried about checking up on his father who hadn't even bothered to leave his room for dinner last night.

He checked the time before he ducked into a small café. "Yeah, can I get a bagel with fish eggs?" he said, a typical breakfast on kahje. As he pulled out the bills to pay a conversation from one of the other customers caught his ear.

"I'm serious, the company I work for has been up there messing with the Mass Relay." the red drell said.

"This one does not see profit in doing so." the hanar friend replied. "The relays have been destroyed for nearly five years."

"No, no, hear this, we got a communication from some quarrian ship, saying that if we can get the tracker up on the relay they can jump here and fix it. Is that not crazy, no one knows how the relays work." the drell said, nearly slamming his coffee down on the table.

"This one believes you to be a fool." the hanar said and waved him off.

The drell rolled his eyes at his friend. "Come on, you don't think those smart little quarrians could have figured it out eventually?" he shrugged. "Anyway we will find out tomorrow, that's when they say they will go public with it. They are looking for volunteers to test the jump back."

"Really? To what system?" the hanar said, forgetting that he didn't believe it.

"Sol, that has been the headquarters for all of this apparently."

Kolyat went up to them, forgetting about his bagel. "There is a ship going to the Sol system?" he asked the hanar flushed a deep purple, angry from the interruption. "I apologize, but my father and I really need to get to the sol system." he said and the hanar returned to his normal color.

"Yeah, that's the rumor, it's said to be taking off from the station in the town north of here." the drell informed in and Kolyat ran out of the shop.

"Dad," he called as he ran into his house. "Dad!"

Thane appeared at the bottom of the steps, worried about his son being so frantic. "Is everything alright?" he asked and Kolyat hugged him.

"I found us a way to Sol, there is a ship going there tomorrow." he said and Thane looked at him shocked.

"Are you sure?"

"No, but it's worth a shot, right? A chance to… to say goodbye to mom?" Kolyat said as he pulled back, his voice cracking. "It's in the town north of here."

Thane didn't answer for a pregnant pause, then nodded. "Let's get packed." he said and they both went up to their rooms.

TKnKK

Apparently they weren't the only ones who had heard about this ship. Hundreds of drell and dozens of hanar were at the station, all pushing to try and be the ones picked for the ship going to Sol, getting away from the starvation and the Keplar.

"So… it's real." Kolyat said and smiled sheepishly at his father.

Thane sighed, "Yes, but our chances of being picked are slim."

Kolyat frowned at him and shoved his arm playfully. "Come on, you are the Thane Krios. You are the best assassin in the galaxy, you saved the galaxy from the collectors, helped save them from the Reapers, you stood up beside a woman who could make anyone piss their pants; you can do anything."

That made Thane smile, a real smile for the first time in months, even if it was a sad one. "Okay… then let's get on this ship."

They pushed their way through the crowd to the front and Thane snuck them in a side entrance into the building. Next step was to find the ship. They went down the hallway they were in and turned the corner, running directly into a trio of guards. "Halt," the yellow drell said and they didn't run, it would do more harm. "How did you get in here?"

"I'm Kolyat Krios, this is my father, Thane Krios we are trying to—"

"Thane Krios?" the blue one said and touched his com, talking to someone on the other end. "Yeah… Thane Krios… Alright, it will be done sir." he said and then turned back to them. "They have clearance, follow us." he said and they turned and walked down the maze of halls.

"You must have friends in high places." the green one said, a woman. She had a kind face, it reminded Kolyat of his mother.

Kolyat nodded, not knowing what friend it could be.

They were led to the ship and boarded without any bag checks or anything, taken straight to first class and offered food and drink. "No," Thane turned them down and Kolyat did the same. It had been years since they had taken space travel and it would likely be nauseating.

It took several hours for the ship to leave dock and only one other drell and two hanar were with them in first class. As the ship jarred from the clasps disconnecting Kolyat gripped the seat, remembering his first time flying and knew this was going to be much of the same. Thane was motionless, just staring out the window, lost in memories.

Kolyat sighed and held his father's hand, trying to keep him tied to the present. "It's going to be okay, dad." he said and shut his eyes tight from the lurch as they left the atmosphere and entered space.

"Arashu has given me two sihas to protect… and I fail them both times." he muttered and squeezed his son's hand back.

Kolyat rubbed Thane's shoulder. "Dad… Mom died protecting me while you were trying to support us the best you could… Shepard died protecting everyone. Both of them were just doing what sihas do… That's not your fault." he said, not wanting to see his father like this.

Thane smiled as he remembered the smiling faces of the two women he loved, both now waiting for him across the sea. "You are wise, son… I will be rejoined with both of them across the sea…" he said and that relieved some of the pain in his chest.

SoL

It took two days to get to the Sol System with the less efficient Mass Relay, and another four days to make it to Earth with how much they had drifted. When they finally landed they got some real food at a seafood restaurant.

They asked around for Commander Shepard, but no one seemed to want to talk about it, or didn't know. It was strange and enraged them both that she had given her life to save all of them and they seemed to be ignoring she ever existed. They were even in New York, her hometown and no one would speak of or about her.

"Excuse me," Kolyat asked the waiter as he came to refill their drinks.

He gave Kolyat a polite nod, having heard how the hanar were and assumed the drell were the same when it came to manors. "Yes sir?"

"Can you tell me what happened in the final battle against the Reapers?" he asked.

The waiter blinked, not seeing how they couldn't know after four years. "The Alliance made a final push towards the beam and managed to activate the Citadel and it froze the Reapers."

Thane and Kolyat looked at each other. That didn't match up to well with the reports they had listened to.

"What about Commander Shepard?" Thane asked.

The waiter looked at them and then around the restaurant. "Look, it's best to leave things like that alone. The Commander deserved better and all us street rats know it, but the others don't give a shit." he said hushed, leaning in close so others wouldn't hear.

"What are you talking about?" Kolyat asked but the man shook his head and hurried away.

Thane and Kolyat looked at each other, puzzled, but it gave Thane an idea of who to ask to find out what happened. Everyone else they asked just ignored the name completely, as if she didn't exist, young kids hadn't even ever heard of her, but the older street kids might know something and tell them.

Thane left the money on the table and they set to the streets.

They walked through the worse parts of the large city, and it didn't take long for a hand to slip into Thane's pocket. He caught the hand and the young woman jerked back, trying to get away.

"Be still, we simple wish to have some questions answered." Thane said, not letting her go.

"I ain't gonna tell ya nothin'." she spat and Kolyat looked at her oddly as his translator glitched repeatedly, the same way it did when Kat had been speaking in slang.

Thane, however, knew enough of human slang to understand her. "We wish to know what happened to Commander Shepard after the final battle with the Reapers." he said calmly and the woman stopped struggling.

"You mean Kitty Commander?" she asked and Thane nodded. "She dead, been dead for four years, ain't nobody going to tell ya different. Got some plot down in D.C., bull shit, she should be in New York where she belongs, this place did more for her than those politics ever did."

Thane's grip slacked, being sucked into memories of his siha, then of Irikah's death, only Kat was lying beside his late wife, bloody, cold, lifeless. The woman used the chance to escape and ran off down a maze of alleys.

"Dad," Kolyat said and shook his father. "Damn it, dad, snap out of it."

Thane blinked and looked at him. "I am sorry, Kolyat." he said and they continued down the street to try and find someone else to help answer their questions.

Frustrated with the lack of information they were able to find, Kolyat set up transport for them to go to the District of Colombia, the place Shepard was buried.

As the rode the train down the country Thane checked the date. He let out a sigh, "Tomorrow marks five years…" he said and Kolyat wrapped his arm around his shoulders. Thane took comfort in the gesture and looked out the window, his eyes landing on the body of a dead Reaper, a reminder that they were still recovering from the war.

"It's massive…" Kolyat said, never seeing one so close before. "And to think our little Shepard defeated them."

Thane nodded, though both weren't sure what had happened that day. The last news they had heard was that Shepard was dead and then everything just… died.

The train traveled through the night and Thane and Kolyat pulled out the beds in their cab and laid down for the night. "We should bring something mom liked to her grave." Kolyat said in the dark.

Thane took a second to answer. "That would be nice, what do you have in mind?" he asked.

Kolyat opened his mouth, then shut it again, thinking. "What does she like?" he asked. Shepard had always been a private person, never really telling people about her, and she had been too busy to have a hobby.

Thane thought about it. "She likes an animal called a fox, we could get her a plush of one."

"What's a fox?" Kolyat asked and Thane chuckled.

"You'd have to see one, it isn't something I can describe. It's covered in fur, walks on all fours, has a bushy tail… you just have to see one." Thane said with a soft smile.

Kolyat noticed how much talking about this soothed him and tried to keep it going. "What else did she like?" he asked.

"She likes old turian war films, I personally never saw why, they were so void of emotion, they are more of a documentary." Thane said and gave a small laugh.

"I never knew that… but it fits her personality, always professional and business, even when she is joking." Kolyat nodded.

Thane shook his head. "She is only like that in front of people… Once she opens up to you she is… very much like a child, only she doesn't know how to be and she… she used to just… brush you off, poke you with her foot when you asked something she didn't know how to respond to. She'd wait till you're back was turned and then jump on you… just to see you caught off guard. Push little boundaries, testing the limits, just like a child... She never had a childhood, yet she was so caring with kids, she understood them… she would have been a great mother." Thane said and tears rolled down his cheeks as his mind replayed how he found out that she had been pregnant with his child. The image of the tiny green fetus still burned his mind even after all this time.

Kolyat didn't know what to say, so they just went to sleep.

IK

The next day they made it to D.C. They bought flowers and a plush fox, which Kolyat commented looked really weird, and Shepard's favorite old turian war film. Then they went to the graveyard she was buried in and searched among the white stones for hers.

"So humans dig a whole and stick their dead in them?" Kolyat asked.

"They put them in wooden boxes called coffins first." Thane corrected and his son nodded.

It took hours before they spotted a grave covered in flowers. It was Shepards. They set the offerings among the others and bowed their heads in pray, hands clasped in front of their chests.

When they finished they stood and Kolyat looked at Thane. "If everyone refuses to acknowledge her than why are there so many offerings at her grave?" he asked and Thane too was puzzled by it.

He stared at the gravestone. Something was wrong, he just couldn't place his finger on it. He read it again.

Katida Shepard

Savior of the Citadel

D.O.B. 2156

D.O.D. 2185

That wasn't right, Kat had died three years after that. He dwelled on it for a moment and realized this must be her grave from the first time she died. If that was true, where was her grave now?

"Excuse me," a little voice said behind them and they both spun around.

Standing there was a child, but she was… "Dad…" Kolyat muttered to Thane and Thane nodded. The child was a drell, but she wasn't. Her markings where nearly identical to Thane's and her skin the same shade of green. Where the darker scales on his head were had dark green hair flowing out of them on her, she had bright green eyes, her nose stuck out a little more, but he was looking at a strange female four year old version of… well himself.

"You look like me" she said and pointed to Thane. "No one else looks like me."

Kolyat kneeled down next to her, since Thane was frozen stiff. Those eyes.

"Hello… what's your name?" he said politely.

She shook her head, "You're name first," she said stubbornly.

"My name is Kolyat."

"Mine is Irikah."

**A/N: Review or I will murder you all. X3**


	41. Chapter 41

_I bend a knee, bowing my head, begging for forgiveness. Not from the gods. From this woman. Sunset colored eyes. Staring, judgmental. Hand rests on my head. Tender. Caring._

"_You are an assassin? For the hanar?" she asked, smart, clever, quick. I nod. She pulled be back onto my feet. "Then it is not your fault. You didn't chose this life." Her kindness grips my heart. I know that I will protect those sunset colored eyes._

He came back to the present to see Kolyat staring at the little drell girl in shock and confusion. "Irikah what?" Kolyat asked, but they both were sure of the answer.

"My mommy's name is Shepard, but she says my last name is Krios because that's my daddy's last name, but I've never met him. Auntie says that he lives far away and can't visit." she said turned as someone called her name. "Auntie!" she said and ran to a woman coming this way. "Look, Auntie, they look like me, are they dwell too?"

The woman picked her up and looked at the two men in question. "Thane?" she said in shock and both of the drell placed the voice at the same time, though they had never seen her face before.

"Tali'Zorha?" he said to make sure.

She nodded and closed the distance between them so they could speak more easily. She had long wavy black hair that was bond back into a low ponytail and looked very close to humans, only had tougher skin, clear by the different looking texture to the skin on her cheeks, and her eyes have a bright blue ring around the iris were humans had black.

"Wait, how are you without your suit?" Kolyat asked, afraid for her health.

"Shepard…" she started and then paused looking at the girl in her arms. "Shepard is very good at biology and managed to find a way to combined our immune system with turians so we don't get sick so long as we don't drastically change environments." she explained.

"My mommy is a genius." Irikah said with a grin, showing off teeth like a drell, four long ones on the top, and four long ones on the bottom, but they were pointed in the places that a human's were, while drell more had flat teeth.

This child was his daughter, his and Kat's daughter. She must have gotten pregnant their last night together, the dates matched up. Oh by the gods, he had a beautiful daughter with the woman he loved, not to mention she was alive, that was more than he knew just a few weeks ago. His heart quickened as he asked the next question. "Where is Shepard?"

Tali shifted Irikah in her arms and jumped slightly as a turian put his arm around her shoulders. "You don't want to know." Garrus said and Tali relaxed, leaning into him.

"I see both of you survived the final battle." Thane said and put his hands behind his back, standing up straighter. "Would you please inform me on Commander Shepard's whereabouts?"

"That's just it, Thane, there isn't a Commander Shepard anymore, she was kicked out of the military." Garrus said with a growl.

"Garrus…" Tali said and he calmed down.

"Yes, the military had its reasons, but they still fucked her over." Garrus said and Tali glared at him for using the cuss in front of Irikah. "Oh come on, she has heard worse from Katty and with that drell memory you know she hasn't forgotten it."

"It doesn't mean you need to be repeating it." Tali said and brushed Irikah's hair behind her frill with looked like a cross with a human ear.

"So what happened?" Kolyat asked. "The last we heard was that Shep died in the final charge."

Garrus looked around and nodded towards the direction of their car. "Come on, more people are going to show up to put things at the grave." he said and they started walking.

"Why is the grave here is Shepard is alive?" Thane asked.

Garrus looked back at it as some unknown salarian put a picture of a lost love one at the grave. "They were going to take it out, but Katty suggested that it stay for all the people who didn't have a grave to mourn… there were a lot of missing bodies from the war." he explained.

"And every year people from all over come here and put something at the grave, it keeps growing as we fix more Mass Relays." Tali added.

Thane nodded. "Will you tell me were my fiancé is now?" he asked again.

"Auntie, what is a fiancé?" Irikah asked.

"It means that the people love each other and want to get married." she explained and Irikah looked at Thane.

"Does that mean you're my daddy?" she asked, her black eyes wide.

Thane nodded.

"Daddy!" Irikah shouted and tried to get out of Tali's arms and into Thane's.

He smiled kindly and plucked the girl into his arms. She hugged him. "Now mommy will get better and come home, right daddy?" she said as she hugged his chest.

Thane looked up at Tali and Garrus, but Kolyat beat him to the questions. "Where is Shep and what is wrong with her?" he asked.

Garrus sighed and Tali took Irikah back. She handed the girl a flower. "Why don't you go put this on Reegar's grave?" she said and set the girl down, who ran off among the rows of white gravestones.

Once she was out of earshot Garrus answered. "After the final battle Shepard was badly injured, she was in a coma for three months. Even she woke up she was talking nonsense and acting crazy. She completely freaked out, attacking the doctors and anyone who didn't believe her… Once she was well enough she was put in a mental ward for a year…" Garrus sighed and shook his head. "She is better to the point she can function in day to day life, but she is a drunk and not fit to raise a child, Tali and I have been Irikah's guardians for the past two years. They tried to let Shepard raise her, but she nearly killed her from neglect, and we tried letting her live with us, but with all the drinking and other bad behaviors… I had to kick her out, for Irikah's sake."

Thane showed no outward emotion to this, but inside his heart broke to hear all that his siha went through. "What nonsense was she claiming?" he asked calmly, glancing over at his son who was at a loss for words. Shepard had always been so strong in his eyes, it seemed impossible that she could have fallen so far.

"Something about Anderson dying, and the Illusive man making her shoot him, but she really shot herself, and a ghost child from earth telling her that he was the catalyst, but it was really her… I don't know, none of it makes any sense. They charged the beam, the charge failed, then the Citadel opened and after connecting it up it fired and destroyed the Reapers and stopped all technology." Garrus said shaking his head.

"And why is everyone acting like she never existed?" Thane asked, clasping his hands behind his back.

Tali answered. "After Shepard was mentally unstable someone in the human government revealed her past. Most of the humans abandon her after they found out, the rest just… phased her out."

Irikah came back and clung to her father's legs. "Daddy, can we be a family now?" she asked and Thane picked her up with a soft smile.

"I need to go talk to your mother first, then we will." he said and kissed her forehead.

She giggled and hugged him tight.

"Can you take me to her?" he asked Garrus.

He sighed but nodded, "But I warn you that you won't like what you find." he said and they finished walking to the car.

Garrus and Tali sat in the front seats, Irikah sat in the middle of the back with Thane on her right and Kolyat on her left.

"Are you my uncle?" she asked him as she bounced in her booster seat.

Kolyat looked down at her, then to Thane, and then back to her. "No… I'm your older brother." he explained.

Irikah gasped and bounced more. "You're Kolyat, my mommy told me about you. She said my brother was big and strong and, and you're my big brother!"

"Irry, calm down," Tali said and patted the girl's leg to still her.

She stopped jumping, but was still completely giddy as they drove through the streets.

They drove for nearly thirty minutes, having to take the old roads rather than flying. Flying cars were illegal on Earth because all of the element zero used to make them was being used to rebuild the Mass Relays. Including all of the ezzo harvested from the dead Reapers.

They went down a long bumpy driveway to a large two story log house. A varren was jumping up and down at the door to the car as they parked.

"Urz!" Irikah said as she was let out and she hugged the varren. He barked and she climbed onto his back, riding him around like a horse.

"Is that the varren from Tuchanka?" Thane asked as the thing came up to smell him, its butt wagging back and forth.

"Yeah, Wrex had brought it to Earth for Shepard during the final fight." Garrus said and rubbed the beast's head.

Irikah grabbed Kolyat's hand and rode Urz towards the house, dragging him along. "Let's go see my room." she said with a large grin.

Tali smiled and followed them. Thane went to as well, but Garrus grabbed his arm. "You wanted to see Katty, right?" he said and moved back into the driver's side of the car.

Thane got in the passenger's seat and they drove off, heading back towards the city. "Is she really that bad?" he asked as they drove.

"Worse, I caught her trying to kill herself more times than I can count. The last one was two week ago, she tried to jump off the top of her apartment building." Garrus said sadly. "Shepard is like a sister to me… It hurts to see her like this."

"How is your sister?" he asked and Garrus let out another sigh.

"Alive, that is more than I could have asked for. She has a bad limp, but her and dad are on Palaven… My mom didn't make it, though. When all the technology shut off so did the ability to make her medicine." he answered.

Thane nodded, "The same thing is happening to drells with Keplar, a disease you could survive for years now kills in less than one. Kolyat lost his uncle and a cousin to it." he sympathized.

"That's rough…" Garrus said and stopped to let a fox and her cubs cross the street.

The sight reminded Thane of Kat, of her smile, her love for animals. It made his chest hurt. He needed to see her, to see personally that she was alive. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to make love to her.

The rest of the car ride was silent as Garrus drove through the crowded streets and into a worse part of the capitol. He stopped in front of a rundown apartment building. "Fifth floor up, room five sixty-nine." he said and Thane got out. "And Thane?" When the drell turned to look at him Garrus smiled. "It's good to have you back." And then he drove off, leaving Thane to try and save the woman he loved from herself.

Thane went up the stairs, the elevator being out, and down to the room. It was unlocked so he slipped inside. It was a small gray and orange, one room apartment, a twin bed in the corner left of the door, the kitchen in the right corner diagonal from it, there was a door beside it that he guessed led to the bathroom. A TV sat in the far left corner, knocked off its stand and had a big hole in the screen. In between the busted TV and the bed was a table with two chairs, one of which that was turned over. The whole area seemed small and depressing. With trash scattered around everywhere, empty take out containers and beer cans and bottles lying wherever you looked. He sighed and searched the kitchen for trashbags. Once finding some he set about picking up the mess since she wasn't home.

About half way through the clutter and the door jiggled and opened. Thane's heart beat fast as a woman came into view. She had blonde hair, barely shorter than him, her body shapely with long legs that seemed to go on forever.

She lifted her head and looked up at him with her dead green eyes and his heart cried to take the pain in them away.

She gave a short, breathless chuckle. "Huh… you don't usually show up till I've had a few beers." she said and shut the door. She hit a button on the wall and the song "Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic! At the Disco flittered through speakers in the walls.

"Siha," he said and went to go to her, but she held her hand up.

"Before I start indulging in my insanity, let me get drunk." she said and went to the kitchen. She set a fresh twelve pack on the counter and pulled one out. She opened it and went to lift it to her lips, but a green hand stopped her, covering the top of the can.

"Siha," he said from right behind her, his nose against her hair. It was her. The very fact that she was here made him want to break down in tears. "I'm real." he assured her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

She stumbled back against him. "You always say that…" she muttered and looked at the beer can in their hands.

"I promise, this time I am." he said and ran his hands down her arms, stopping right above her elbow. He pulled back and looked down at her right arm, or rather what was left of it. The arm that had protected so many was gone. It went to the elbow and then it was just gone. "Siha…" he muttered and trailed a hand over the stub.

"Reaper beam, apparently it ripped it to shreds and they had to take it off." she muttered and while he was distracted she took a swig of the beer.

She slid past him and limped over to the bed. "Along with everything below the shin of my right leg." she added as she sat down and settled down in the corner. "You are always so surprised by it… telling me I need to get a prothstetic… there are better things for the resources. This metal foot is enough…"

He moved and sat beside her. "Siha…" he said and took the beer can from her, setting it on her nightstand. When he leaned back up she kissed him, gripping the front of his jacket. After a second of shock he kissed her back, their tongues intertwining.

"If I am insane… I want to stop fighting it… damn it, I want to stop fighting…" she said when the kiss broke.

Thane let out a growl and pinned her down on the bed. "Let me show you how real I am." he growled against her ear, his hands sliding under her clothes.

**A/N: Blame Rose. She told me to cut it off there and torture you guys. Well at least you got to know what happened to Shepard sooner. If I went through all of the sex scene the next cut off point would have been like… six or seven pages later, its seven pages now and it took me like a week to get it to my liking.**


	42. Chapter 42

His lips set her skin ablaze. She arched into him as his hands worked on greedily getting her clothes off. With a growl he parted his lips and teeth from her skin to pull the shirt over her head, having found no other way to get the fabric off.

She pulled his lips to hers, hungrily kissing and nipping them. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she groaned at the taste. It was so real that she started to cry.

He must have smelt the tears, because he pulled back and looked down at her. "Siha, what is wrong?" he said, his raspy voice, the way only a drell, only he sounded, cut her to the soul and she cried more. She felt his lips kiss away the tears and she clung to him. He held her. "Siha… what is wrong? Did I hurt you?" She shook her head as she clung to him.

"It's… it's so real… but tomorrow… it will just be… me…" she cried and he shifted to lay on the bed beside her, cradling her against his chest.

"Siha… it's really me… I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you." he said.

She pulled back and looked up at him, tears staining her cheeks. "I can't… I can't do it anymore…" she said and pulled away from him. She got up and went into the kitchen. She grabbed the case of beer and put it into the fridge.

"Siha," Thane said as he started to get up too. She paused at the counter, her back to him. "Siha…" he repeated with sadness and went up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Her muscles tensed and that was the only warning he got. She spun around with a switchblade and slashed at his throat. He ducked back at the last second, the tip of the blade missing by inches.

She was shaking. "I can't…" she said and slid down the cabinets, sitting on the floor, the knife blade clutched in her hand, blood running through her fingers.

Thane bent down and worked the blade away from her, tossing it across the room and onto the table without looking. She shook as he hugged her again. "It's okay, I'm here." he soothed.

She let out a sob. "If you're not… I… I don't wanna live…" she cried and clung to him again. "What am I fighting for? No one believes me on what happened, I'm missing chunks of body parts, I live in this shit hell of an apartment… Thane… I can't even look at our daughter… she looks too much like you… I can't do it. I look at her and I see you, see the betrayal I did, leaving you on Khaje… I just… I wanted you to be safe… I didn't think the Mass Relays would get destroyed… You probably hate me… it's been five fucking years… You're probably with someone else, having children with her…" she cried and the whole time he just held her.

"There could never be anyone else, siha." he said when she was done.

She gave a chocked laugh. "I bet you said the same thing to Irikah." she said and he winced.

"I do love her, Kat, but I love you too. Irikah is my past, and I will never forget her or stop loving her. But you are my present and my future." he said calmly, too calmly as he bit back the slight anger from the comment.

She let out a sob and dug her nails into his jacket. "Please be real…" she whispered.

"I am." he repeated and picked her up. He carried her to the bed and set her down on it, sitting down on the edge himself so he could take a look at her hand. "Stay here, I'll go get something to stop the bleeding." he said and got up, going into the bathroom.

Him not being in her sights was horrible, it made her twitch, whimper, made her heart beat fast. What if he didn't reappear like so many other times.

Thane looked around the tiny bathroom. It was narrow, just big enough to fit a shower on the left side of the door and a toilet on the right. Over the toilet was a medicine cabinet and that is where he began his search. All that was in it was a bottle of anti-depressants and sleeping pills. He sighed and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills and a roll of toilet paper.

When he returned he found Kat on her side, curled in a ball and not moving. "Siha," he said as he knelt down and kissed her forehead. She looked up at him and gave a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Her beautiful green eyes, once so full of life now cold and dead. He got her to sit up and bandaged up her hand the best he could with the toilet paper. "I am going to go to the store to pick up some things that you need." he said and saw her tremble. "You stay here and get some rest, I doubt you've had much lately."

She went to protest but he pulled out the bottle of sleeping pills and took one out. "Take this, I'll be back by the time you wake up, I promise." She gave a shaking nod and took the pill and laid down. Within five minutes it took effect and she was asleep, her hand clutched tightly around his.

-ILC-

The smell of cooking garlic roused her from her sleep. She rolled over and opened her heavy eyes. Everything was blurry, an after effect of the sleeping pills. Slowly her eyes adjusted, but the scene in front of her didn't make much more sense. There was a drell in her kitchen, reading a data pad and looking at a counter covered in cooking ingredients.

That's right, she dreamt that Thane had come back last night. She rubbed her eyes to try and clear the illusion away, but froze when she felt something cloth on her hand. She pulled it back and examined a freshly wrapped bandage across her palm. Right, she had cut her hand… in the dream… with Thane. She clenched her eyes shut and counted to five in her head, thinking that when she opened them back up it would be Kaidan in her kitchen or something. He came by to check on her often, hoping to woe her. He was being unbelievably patient about it. He didn't pressure her into loving him back, he was just there for her to the best of his ability. He didn't even mind when she cried out Thane's name instead of his own the times they had…

It was still Thane. Damn it, why was it still Thane? Was she still dreaming?

She watched him from the bed, how he struggled trying to figure out what went with what in the meal. She sighed and got up, going up to him and putting her hand over his as he picked up a knife to cut up a bell pepper.

"You have to take the seeds out or it will be too hot." she said and leaned against him.

He smiled down at her. "I was hoping to have dinner ready for you before you woke up." he admitted and they met for a quick kiss.

"You're cooking sucks." she said and he sighed.

"Is it my fault I spent most of my years alone buying take out? Most of my safe houses didn't even have a stove." he said and let her have the knife, simply holding the pepper still for her as she skillfully cut up the pepper, cutting the seeds out.

She didn't answer until she was done. "No." she said as she scooped up the pieces and tossed it into the hot wok. "That's the hanar's fault."

He sighed, but wasn't going to argue the point. Being an outsider to the compact she saw it differently than what it was. He understood that and wouldn't try to change her mind, knowing from the years he had been with her that it was pointless.

She grabbed a bottle of olive oil and poured some of it into the wok with the garlic, onions, and peppers, making it sizzle. "What meat did you buy?" she asked as she gave the pan a shake, stirring up the contents.

"Chicken, but I wasn't sure when to add it. Human cooking is… different than drell." he admitted as she went into the fridge and pulled out the packet of chicken and a bottle of teriyaki sauce.

Again he held the chicken in place as she cut it into strips. She cut up two of the breasts and then tossed the others in a ziplock bag and put it in the freezer. Then she took the strips and dumped them into a bowl and poured the sauce over them. "Let that sit for five minutes and then toss them in and add more teriyaki." she told him, referring to the sauce.

He nodded and watched as she limped over to the table and picked up the fallen chair. She sank down in the chair, putting her right foot on it with her and rolled her pants leg up. He looked at her badly fitting, metal prosthetic. She rubbed were it connected to her leg with a pained look on her face.

"Does it hurt?" he asked as he went up to her, placing his hand over hers.

She nodded, "Yeah… it feels like my leg is still there, but this metal… thing is in the way." she said and pulled it off, rubbing her stump.

He looked at the motion of her hand. "Siha… what happened?" he asked and sat down in the other chair.

"Harbinger broke off from sword, the main attack, and met us at the beam. Garrus and Tali had gotten singed by the beam… Tali lost a finger on her left hand, but she got a prosthetic, having two fingers was a real problem. I called the Normandy down and ordered Wrex to drag them back onto it. Neither one were happy… they are the only real family I have." she said and leaned back into the seat. "I continued the charge and Harbinger hit me straight on. Then… I must have gotten knocked out. They said Jack found me in the rubble after the Reapers went down."

Thane knew she was leaving things out. He could read it in her body language and from what he had heard from other people. "What really happened?" he asked, reaching across and taking her hand in his.

"That is what happened… the rest of it they said I made up while I was in a coma." she said and stared down at their hands.

"Let me hear it." he said and kissed her hand. "Please, siha."

She paused before she nodded. "After I was shot down I stumbled back to my feet. My armor was completely fried and I had only managed to keep hold of my pistol. I was badly injured." she ran her nails across his smooth scales, picking at small old ones that were flaking off. "I made it to the beam…"

"I thought no one made it to the beam?" he asked, confused.

She gave a fake short laugh, "Yeah, they didn't, they say I'm crazy and made it up… but it happened, damn it, it fucking happened, I'm not… I don't think I'm crazy… traumatized… but I'm not insane, Thane." she said and gripped his hand.

"I don't think you are, siha." he brushed her hair behind her ear. "The Reapers were trying to control you, we know that, your whole team knew that, it killed us to see you have to keep pushing yourself. You were the only one who could of done it, we needed you."

She nodded and leaned into his hand, tears falling down her cheeks. "After I went into the beam, or in my head I went into the beam… Anderson was there, on the com with me. He was ahead of me, said that he came out somewhere else. I walked down this corridor of bodies and keepers, then there was a chasm and then a room with only one entrance… That… doesn't…" She let go of his hand and rubbed her head. "The Illusive Man was there and he… took control over me and Anderson, made me draw my gun on him. He tried to talk me into siding with him, to control the Reapers. I refused and he made me shoot Anderson. I kept refusing and managed to break free enough to shoot the Illusive Man… Then I got the arms to the Citadel open and me and Anderson sat down. He nodded off and died, and then there was a sharp pain in my side and the wound were I had shot him was on me…" she said and laid her head down.

"Kat…" he said and reached out to her.

"Go cook." she whined and he sighed and left back to the kitchen area to do as she had instructed. She stayed like that until he set a plate of the stir-fry in front of her. "Thanks." she muttered and picked up her fork.

"Will you continue your story?" he asked as he sat down across from her.

She poked the food, "It's just insane babbling…" she said sadly. "It didn't happen… if it did I would have been on the Citadel when it blew up, but I was on Earth in the rubble."

They ate their meal in silence, Thane not wanting to push her. After both plates were clean he took them and washed them as she went into the bathroom.

She rubbed her head before she grabbed the bottle of anti-depressants and popped two into her mouth, swallowing. He watched over his shoulder as she limped over to the bed and laid down, curling in a ball.

It took several minutes for the smell of salt to make it over to him and he realized she was crying. He set the plates down and went to her, laying down behind her and held her as she cried.

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update, I've been working a lot… and I met a guy… who is an awesome guy… and I like… a lot...**

**Besides my attempts to have a social life around my busy schedule I was halfway done writing this chapter my computer messed up and restarted itself while I hadn't saved yet. Not a bad thing, I took the chapter a different way and you guys get more fluff than the last one.**


	43. Chapter 43

Her in his arms, safe and warm, curled up against him. That was the best night sleep he had in five years. He still twitched in his sleep, his mind replaying the moment he heard that she was dead, but this time when he jolted awake, teeth clenched together and fists balled in the sheets, she was there. She was there, alive and well. Alive. He pressed his face against her hair, inhaling her scent and nearly crying at the fact that she was okay, was with him. He nuzzled her cheek, her neck, nipped at her collarbone.

She let out a sleepy moan from his attentions and he knew he was being selfish, but he wanted her, needed to leave his claim on her. He kissed her neck, nipping it, licking at the reddening flesh. She let out more sleepy moans, muffled by her head against the pillow. He shifted so he was on top of her, his leg pressed against her warm sex. He needed her. Slowly he undressed them, savoring the smoothness of her skin against his rougher scales. It was tantalizing.

Gods, was he really going to do this? Have sex with this woman, this warrior angel, his warrior angel, while she was barely even conscious?

It was a rhetorical question, but his erection pressed against her warmth answered it anyways. He slipped inside of her and she let out a groan, arching against him. He hummed in pleasure as her walls constricted around him. Warm and tight. Gods, he missed it. He started to move and she wrapped her legs around his waist. It made him feel better, to know she wanted this. He started kissing her neck again. He nuzzled the flesh, trying to embed his scent on it.

As her body heated up he caught another scent, faint, but there. It was another human, a human he knew. Kaidan. He knew that the man liked Kat and the fact that they had… It enraged him.

"_She is a bit of a whore."_ That's what he had said about her. He had taken advantage of Kat, had been with her, his siha.

Thane let out a snarl and his teeth sank down into the left side of her neck. She jolted all the way awake and tried to pull him off. He let out a groan and in a few more thrusts he was done and let her push him away.

"Shit…" she muttered as she rolled out of the bed, falling because she didn't have her prosthetic on.

"Kat," Thane said as he tried to help her.

She shoved him off as she forced the metal foot into place and hobbled to the bathroom. Kat fumbled around with her bloody hand, trying to find something in the medicine cabinet. "Sh… shit…" she muttered as she slid down the wall and too the floor.

"Siha," he said and went to her quickly. He pulled her hand away from her bleeding neck and looked at the wound. It wasn't clotting, wounds on her always clotted quickly. All of her implants helped her heal quickly. All of her implants. The implants must have been effected like other technology when the Reapers were destroyed. That meant that his bite, that normally would clot and heal within a day, could possible kill her. He got up and started searching for something to stop the bleeding.

"Stitches… there should be liquid stitches in there." she muttered out to him. He nodded and searched, finding it in the back corner. He snatched up the bottle and poured it on her wound and it sealed it shut, stopping the bleeding. "No more biting my neck… my shoulder would be fine… neck bleeds too much." she said and he gave a short breathless laugh.

"I nearly killed you and that is what you have to say?" he said and held her, feeling horrible.

She nodded against him. "Also… no sex while I'm asleep, I wanna be able to remember it too." she added and he gave another short laugh.

"Alright, I'm sorry." he said as he picked her back up and carried her back to the bed.

KsK

He watched her sleep, her left arm tucked behind her head, her right stub tucked against her chest. He smiled and ran his hand up and down her stomach. She frowned in her sleep and moved her hand from behind her head and caught his hand in hers.

Curiously she ran a hand over the smooth cool scales. Her fingers sought out his fused fingers. She ran her index finger down the slight indent between them, first from his palm down to his fingertips, then up to the back of his hand. Their fingers intertwined and she rolled over to face him, her eyes half open in a dazed state between awareness and being asleep.

"Good morning, siha." he said and leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

She let out a muffled noise and pulled her hand free of his. She traced his features. His eyes, his nose, his lips, chin, the frills on the side of his head. "Thane…" she whispered and clung to him, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.

"I'm here, my siha." he said against her hair and she calmed and slipped back asleep. He lied there, just enjoying watching her sleep, her eyes twitching every so often, her chest rising and falling with her even breaths. It was beautiful, this warrior angel, so fierce in battle, to be so at peace with everything. It was something even he rarely got to see.

Reluctantly he pulled himself away from her, pulled on his pants, and went into the bathroom. He relieved himself and then went into the kitchen to get something to eat. Though he couldn't really cook, having lived alone for most of his life, in safe houses that either didn't have a stove or he never got around to using, he made toast and a cup of tea.

Just as he sat down in the chair at the table the door opened and a man walked in, Kaidan. Thane's eyes went to him, then to Shepard to make sure she was covered, and then back to Kaidan.

Kaidan paused at the door, his eyes locking with the drell's. "Oh, it's you… Thane." he wished he could forget the lizard's name, but whenever he and Kat made love it wasn't his name on her lips, it was Thane's. It hurt and he had kept telling himself she just needed time and she'd love him again. Now the lizard was back and there went his chances to ever have her. Despite the fact that while Shepard was dead for two years he had been faithful and not with another, despite that the past five years when Thane was off doing who knows what Kaidan was the one here for her, restocking her fridge, refilling her medications, helping her through the PTS.

"Hello, Kaidan." Thane greeted and sipped his tea.

He gave a short nod and went into the kitchen, setting the grocery bags he was carrying down and opening the fridge, only to find it already stocked. It irked him a little bit, but he just put the food away, ignoring what was already in there.

"I take it you have been taking care of my siha while I was away?" Thane said from right beside him at the sink, washing his plate. When had the man moved? He didn't make a sound.

"Yeah, she tends to hold up in here a lot." he replied and went into the bathroom, going in the medicine cabinet and grabbing Kat's anti-depressants. He dumped out the two that were left into his hand. "She needed to of taken these this morning." he grumbled and got a glass of water. He took them over to the bed and shook her awake. She tried to punch him, her natural reflex, but he managed to dodge it. "Kat, take your medicine." he said and she did so with a sleepy grumble, then rolled back over and went back to sleep. Kaidan pushed her hair behind her ear tenderly before he stood up. "I'll be back in a few minutes, I need to get her new prescription." he told Thane.

"That is okay, I will do it, you need not burden yourself." Thane said as he slid the bottle out of Kaidan's hand before he could protest.

"Do you even know where the pharmacist is?" Kaidan asked, not wanting to be pushed so easily out of Kat's life. It was like Thane wasn't even trying, but was doing all this for Kaidan's own benefit.

"I spent some time yesterday walking around and remember where it is." he said as he grabbed his coat and pulled it on. He opened the door for Kaidan and they both walked out, locking the door behind them.

Kat twitched at the sound of the door closing, her arm clutching a pillow as the voices started to edge back into her head.

HP

Thane made it to the pharmacy in about fifteen minutes. He handed the man the bottle and he went to go get the fresh prescription. "So you know Shepard?" the man asked as he worked.

"Yes, I was on her team to stop the Collectors and the Reapers." Thane replied, putting his hands behind his back and standing up straighter.

"Right, you're that Krios fellow." he said as he came back with the bottle. "That's some pretty strong stuff, never seen such a large dose prescribed before." he said as he leaned on the counter. "You know…" he lowered his voice and looked around the store to make sure it was empty "They say Shepard is crazy, 'cause of some rambling she started on about. Put her up in some ward, did some tests on her." he shrugged and put his hands up, his elbows still on the table. "Thing is," he put his hand down on top of themselves and leaned even closer "if you tell someone they are crazy long enough they start to believe it, ya know?" He pointed to the bottle. "It's all a bunch of crazy shi—" he cut the sentence short as a blonde man in a suit and shades walked in and started looking through the aisles. "Anyways, I'll see ya in a month for her next batch." he said and walked off into the back.

That was strange. Thane put the pills in his pocket in his pocket and left.

MmT

Kat and Thane set back into their normal routine, or as normal as they could get. They'd sleep holding the other, eat meals together, and just enjoy having the other around. But there were changes. Kat slept later now, she would randomly stop in the middle of her sentences and just stare off in space, or grip her hair and try to pull it out of her head, muttering to voices she could only hear.

It was about a week later in the morning. Thane was sipping his tea while he waited for Kat to wake up, a newspaper in his hands. It was a good thing he could read human because datapads were hard to come by right now. He stopped the coffee mug inches from his lips as he read the headline.

_** Pharmacist Killed in His Own Shop.**_

_ Local Pharmacist Matthew Smith_

_ was found dead in his shop Monday_

_ morning. Police are claiming the_

_ estimated time of death was two days_

_ prior, last Saturday. Why the public is_

_ only hearing about this now is a mystery._

_ It was discovered that the police had_

_ originally been looking for witnesses to_

_ the crime, before suddenly stopping. Is_

_ this the world we live in now? Where it_

_ is okay for a killing to go unsolved._

_ Continued pg. 2A_

There was a picture of the man and it confirmed his suspicions, it was the man who refilled Kat's anti-depressants. Today was Saturday. That meant the man had been killed in the same day.

**A/N: So it took me forever to decide where I wanted the story to go from here, but I have decided and I think all of you will like it, once you know what is going on. Review, I want to hear your guys' thoughts and theories. You write the story too, I decide what to do based off of what you guys say.**


	44. Chapter 44

The sound of laughter filled the house as Kolyat chased his sister down to get his boot back from her. "Irry, this isn't funny." he said as she slid down the banister on the stairs and he tumbled down them, landing at the bottom with a thud.

"Kolyat?" Irikah asked worried as he didn't move. She went up to him, the boot clutch in her hands. "Brother?" she sniffled.

Kolyat moved, snatched her up in his arms and took the boot from her. She let out a giggle as he put his mouth to her neck and let out a puff of air against the soft red skin. She squealed as it tickled and kicked to try and get away from him.

"You two be careful, go outside to play." Tali called from the kitchen.

"Yes, auntie." Irikah said and Kolyat put her on his shoulders and carried her outside.

Once out in the open he grabbed her and tossed her in the air and spun her around like Thane used to do for him. She let out another adorable giggle and when he brought her back to him she clung to him and he moved them to a tasteless tune he hummed. "You know, dad and me used to do this when I was little, we used to call it 'dancing crazy.'" he told her and she looked up at him.

"Will daddy dance crazy with me?" she asked.

He smiled, "Maybe, first we have to get your mother here, then we can be a family together." he said and spun her again, making her giggle. He pushed the hair out of her face. She smiled up at him and he kissed her nose.

She giggled and wiped her nose off.

"Ahahah, that doesn't work, it's still stuck on there." he teased her and she just rubbed harder.

She paused and looked over his shoulder down the driveway. "Uncle Jeff is here." she said excitedly as a silver car came down the driveway.

Kolyat turned to look too and chocked back a laugh at the front plate that read _Normandy Jr_.

The car parked next to Garrus's blue one and Joker got out of the driver's side. He was worse for wear since the last time Kolyat had seen him. His legs had thick braces around them and he walked with crutches.

He waved at them and went to the trunk. "Mind giving me a hand?" he asked Kolyat and the drell went up to the car.

"You're not surprised to see me?" Kolyat asked and heaved a wheelchair out of the trunk.

Joker pointed out the way to open it up as he shrugged. "Who do you think gave you clearance for that flight?" Kolyat looked up at him in shock, the jerk nearly knocking Irikah from her spot on his back. "I called in a favor or two, told them if you showed up that you were allowed on the flight. I would of made them drag you on it, but Kat had me promise that if you ever came back it was to be on your choice." he said as he carted the wheelchair to the passenger's door. He opened it and helped a black haired woman switch into it.

It was obvious that she was crippled and couldn't use her legs, but it wasn't until Oriana stepped out the back seat that he realized who it was. "Oriana?" Kolyat blinked and then looked to the older woman who was lip locked with Joker. "Miranda?" he asked in disbelief.

The woman looked over at him and was about to say something but Kolyat cut her off in his shock. "What about EDI?" he asked and Joker looked down sadly.

"EDI… stopped working when the Reapers were destroyed." he said sadly.

Kolyat looked back and forth between Joker and Miranda. "But… you two… how?" he asked, at a loss for words.

"Well…" Joker started, but Miranda finished for him.

"I injured my spine during the final battle and Joker helped me through my recovery." she informed him and wheeled towards the house.

Oriana gave Kolyat a bit of a glare and then went to push her sister to the house. Joker watched them go. "Miranda is still a little sensitive about being… crippled… so if you could not bring it up like it's a bad thing… I mean it would be like talking to Liara about her missing cowl." he asked quietly.

"She is missing a cowl?" Kolyat asked.

"Yeah… have you not seen everyone yet?" he asked and Kolyat rubbed the back of his head.

"No…" he admitted. "I've been waiting here with Irry for dad to bring Kat back."

Joker nodded. "It's a shame about her arm and leg." he said and judging by Kolyat's expression he didn't know about that either. "Kat lost her shin down on her right leg and her elbow down on her right arm."

Kolyat nodded, "How bad… how badly was she injured, over the com we heard that she was dead and then everything cut off." he asked.

Joker started limping towards the house. "Irry, why don't you help Aunt Miranda into the house?" he said and the girl slid from her brother's back and ran off to help, and by help she just climbed into her lap and told Oriana to push harder. "We did think she was dead, she was shot down by Harbinger in the final charge. After all of it we tried to recover her body, and after a week most of us gave up." he sighed. "There was a lot of rubble… Only her team kept looking. Garrus, Grunt, Wrex, Samara, Jack… Jack is actually who found her, buried by large chunks of building and barely breathing. If it wasn't for those implants, even damaged, Chakwas said she wouldn't have survived."

Kolyat nodded and followed beside Joker. "Did she ask about us?" he asked, wanting to know that the woman he had grown to see as a second mother cared.

"She did… when she woke up… it took about eight months for the first time. She was screaming about being a list of cats and shouting for Thane, then for you. They had to sedate her. She didn't wake up for another five months after that." Joker looked up at him. "She was never even awake for the pregnancy, the doctors performed a C-section near seven months."

Kolyat nodded, that made sense, drell were pregnant for five months, humans for nine.

"You know what's really weird?" Joker said and narrowed his eyes. "Despite the on goings about cats and glowing children, she didn't show signs of actually being crazy until they put her in the nut house."

"So she isn't crazy?" Kolyat asked.

Joker shook his head. "Oh no, she is crazy, we got proof of that the times she stopped taking her medication, but I'm not sure what made her crazy." he stopped at the door. "I've known Kat since the beginning, since right after the blitz. If she was going to crack under pressure or get mentally screwed up it would of happened when that beacon shoved those memories into her head. She had nightmares for months about death and genocide and all that good stuff. Why do you think she was always against the genophage, or killing the rachni? She told me once that those memories felt like she was actually there, that they were her memories." He shook his head. "She was one crazy bitch, but she was never crazy."

"Until the mental ward." Kolyat finished and Joker nodded.

Joker nodded, "Now let's get inside, Tali said she was going to make me cake, German Chocolate Cake." he said with a grin and they went into the house.

Irikah ran at them and clung to Kolyat's legs. "Uncle Jeff, I have a brother, and a daddy, but he is with mommy right now." she said and clung to her brother as he picked her up.

"I see that, now you can stop begging me for a cousin." Joker teased and she looked wide eyed and shook her head.

"No, I still want a cousin. Everyone says how I was cute when I was a baby, I wanna see a baby." she whined and Joker rubbed her head.

"Maybe one day, squirt." he said before limping towards the kitchen and the smell of fresh cake.

Kolyat followed him and joined the rest of them at the table, sitting by Oriana. He looked at her. She was a pretty girl, about his age.

"So…" Kolyat pondered as he picked up his fork and prodded his slice of cake. "How did… you and Miranda…" he asked, baffled.

"Well…" Joker started, but Miranda leaned over to link her arm around his.

"Hun?" she said and kissed his cheek. "If I may?"

Joker smiled, "Sure, no problem." he said and Miranda started the story.

MhH

_Blast from those infernal spiders shook the rock. She counted the blast like Shepard had informed everyone to do. They could shoot three blasts, then they had to pause to recharge._

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

_She popped up and sent a biotic blast, landing a direct it to… a boulder. Where did the damn spider turret go? They didn't move that fast. She heard the thud of heavy feet too late. So much for perfect genes if they couldn't help her now. She thought of the joke this must be. Kat was an abused orphan, not even a drop of her DNA was designed to give her an edge, hell she had more health problems than most people know about, those implants covering up so much. And yet Shepard was the one who was going to live through this. While this brute would kill her because she wasn't good enough._

_The force of the blow knocked the wind clear out of her and slammed her against a fallen building. She had hit a window and went straight through it and then through the drywall of the inner wall, finally coming to a stop as she crashed inside a small standing shower. She slid down the wall and the last thing she saw was the brute coming through the path of destruction left by her body, coming for her. She tried to raise her gun, but the dots in her edging into her vision greedily consumed her._

_The next thing she remembered was something cold creeping over her arm. She tried to open her eyes and heard voices telling her not to. She tried to chuckle against the pain in her ribs. It reminded her of when Shepard woke up before she was supposed to. That's alright, she'll just go back to sleep till it was okay to wake up. Maybe the pain would be gone then. The coldness in her arm increased and the black took her back under again._

_When she woke up again the doctors told her she had been out for a week. She was badly wounded. Her head had been split open and had required stitches, several ribs were either broken or bruised. But the most pressing problem was that she couldn't feel or move her legs. They informed her that she had some trauma to the spine and she may, or may not, regain motor function in them._

_She overacted and yelled at them to use implants, bone weaves, anything to fix it. This was a simple problem, modern science could fix it, she could fix it in her sleep. When she finished her rant the head doctor shook his head._

"_I'm sorry… all implants… all machines stopped working when the crucible fired." he said and she just stared at him. "We've managed to get the basic machines running again, that achievement saved your life, but…"_

"_Saved my life? I'm a cripple, my life is over, I'm no more than those damn husks we were killing." she shouted at him._

_Her anger held for a long time. The only good news since they shoved her in this wheelchair- trying to free up a bed for more injured soldiers that were pooling in by the dozens, then by the hundreds—was that they found Shepard. She was barely alive and very badly burned. Most didn't think she'd survive. But Miranda knew better, she had seen the woman come back from much worse. Sure she had the help of advanced implants and top notch science, but she still did it. Something in that woman fought to survive._

_It stirred something in Miranda and she started carting herself down the halls of the hospital. The doctors ignored her and allowed her to come and go into Shepard's room as she pleased. All the crew was allowed to visit her without regulations._

_This time Joker was in the room and it made her pause. The fellow cripple heavily relied on his crutches as the medicine for his disease waned into inexistence. "Hey…" he said looking back at her and then back to Kat. She wheeled up to the bed and looked at the heavily bandaged woman. She was missing two chunks of limbs and covered in burns. A breathing mask forced air into her lungs and monitors made sure her heart was still beating, still fighting. She was always fighting it seemed, wasn't even allowed to die or stay dead._

"_Hi…" she replied to Joker, focused on Kat._

_There was a stretch of silence that Joker decided to fill. "Did you hear? She is pregnant, Chakwas said it's amazing the baby is thriving so well." he said and smiled down at her._

_Miranda nodded, she had heard some of the doctors whispering about it. "It'll be something at least when she wakes up and she is a cripple too." she said sourly._

_Joker raised an eyebrow at her. "What's so bad about being a cripple, everyone is oh so nice to you." he teased and she glared at him._

"_Being stuck in this chair is not a joke." she snapped at him._

_He flinched. "Sorry," he said and shifted on his crutches. "But you know, if you can't laugh at yourself… you will just be a miserable cripple all the time… Sure things are bad, but we're alive and the Reapers aren't, that's got to count for something." he looked back to Kat, breathing quietly beside them. "We've all given up so much for this war, some gave up their lifes, a few poor functioning limbs is small compared to that." he said quietly and a tear trailed down his cheek._

_Miranda's eyes softened, knowing he was thinking of EDI. She had stopped function when that red pulse hit her. "Joker… I'm sorry." she tried, but he shook his head._

"_Nothing to be sorry about, we all went into the fight knowing the odds. She knew the odds and she fought till the last second… She'd be happy." he sighed and shook his head. "Come on, I'm going to show you it's not all that bad being a cripple." he said as he grabbed her chair and spun it about, walking with it as something to lean against._

MnJ

"He took me to the cafeteria and started whining to the cooks that his legs were hurting from all the waiting while standing and they gave us both the best meal I had in months." She leaned against Joker and he smiled, kissing her forehead. "It was sweet and we just started hanging out."

Kolyat looked up from his slice of cake, now merely crumbs on the plate. "Thaw a wice stowy." he said around the cake in his mouth.

Oriana rolled her eyes at him and took at napkin, wiping the cake off his face.

He swallowed and grinned at her, the coconut stuck in his teeth.

She let out a laugh and snorted, making her blush and everyone else laugh.

"I like that story." Irikah said, swinging her legs off her chair. She looked to Kolyat. "How did mommy and daddy meet?" she asked.

Kolyat looked to Garrus and Tali, questioning if she wasn't supposed to know or not since they hadn't told her.

"Your mother recruited your father for a mission we were on." Garrus answered simply.

"That's not a story." Irikah whined.

"I'll tell you more when you're older." Garrus said and crossed his arms.

She pouted and crossed her arms in a huff, slouching down in her chair. "I'm never old enough for anything." she grumbled and Kolyat ruffled her strange locks of hair. She stuck her tongue out at him and he flicked her forehead. "Meanie!" she accused and went to punch him, but Kolyat caught it easy, so she tried with her other hand and he caught that too. She tried to jerk away, but both of her hands were stuck in his.

They all laughed at how cute she was and Kolyat smiled. This was his little sister, his family.

**A/N: I feel like an ass, it's been like a month since my last update. Work has been killing me. But have no fear college is about to start back up and I can go back to writing in them. Anyway you guys have been asking about little Irry so I decided to make this chapter about her and the other crew members, get you guys caught up on what happened with everyone. And I know the pairing is weird, but I see Miranda getting all depressed if she were injured and Joker being a nice guy and showing her that it's not all bad. Besides EDI is gone so I had to give Joker something, I don't want him being all alone for the rest of his life.**


	45. Chapter 45

Thane had left Kat at the apartment. She was sleeping off another dose of her anti-depressants. He walked through the streets with the newspaper, going into the policy station.

"Can I help you?" a female cop asked him as he walked in the door.

He looked at her before he pulled out the paper. "Yes, I had wanted to talk to the police about the shooting at the pharmacy." he said and pointed out the story on the front page.

"Oh… that…" she said, apparently nervous "Hang on a second." She walked into the main part of the building and started speaking with another cop in low hushed tones, occasionally glancing at him, then back to a room in the back of the station.

The door was cracked and Thane could see a sliver through it. A man sat at the table, he couldn't see his features, but he saw that the man was human and had bright blonde hair.

The woman came back over and snapped him out of his thoughts. "I'm sorry, sir, but your help is not required, the case is being attended to." she said politely, but it was still clear she was very nervous.

He looked at her strangely. "I was there right before the shooting. There was a suspicious man there when I left." he tried to reason.

"So you didn't actually see the shooting?" she asked.

"No, but—" he started, but she cut him off rudely. It bugged him. Having been raised by hanar he disapproved of blatant rudeness.

"Then I'm sorry, sir, but we have it covered." she said and pushed him out of the building.

He tried to say something to her, but paused as a man with a camera around his neck was forced into the building by two male police officers. "This is against my rights. I can write anything I want! Freedom of speech!" he was shouting.

"That's great, Mr. Birch." one of the cops said with a sigh.

Birch… Thane looked down at the article to the author's name. _Michael Birch_. He narrowed his eyes. Something was going on. Though that much was clear, it didn't seem like the authorities on this planet were going to help. He tucked the newspaper back into his jacket and headed back to the apartment.

On his way his eye was caught by a flower shop. He stopped in and bought some for Kat, taking them back to the apartment.

She was awake when he opened the door, sitting on the counter with a beer in her hand and a cigarette hanging from her mouth.

"Since when do you smoke?" he asked as she shut the door.

She shrugged, "Since I was like… eight… I stopped while I was in the military, smoking doesn't do good for image." She took out the cigarette and took a swig of the beer. When she looked back at him her nose twitched and she sneezed. "What's with the flowers?" she asked as she sneezed again and again.

"I thought you might like them." he said as he walked to her and held them out to her.

She looked at them and sneezed again, sniffling against the congestion it gave her. "Thane… those are Easter Lilies, and they are… pretty… but I'm allergic." she said and sneezed again, slipping her beer on her shirt.

He quickly took the flowers away. "I apologize, siha." he said and left the apartment to rid them from her presence. When he returned he apologized again. "Are you okay?" he asked, not knowing how badly she was allergic to them.

She itched her nose. "Yeah, I'm fine, pollen just makes me sneeze… and cat hair… and dust… and hay…" she said and hopped off the counter, limping over to him and kissed him.

He accepted her affections very willingly, as they were rare now days. Between her depressions, rampages, and sleeping of the medicine that was supposed to help keep it in check, they didn't have much time like this anymore. "Your allergies never bothered you before," he commented when they broke apart. Katida Shepard had never so much as had a cold since he had known her.

"I was on injections to stop them and a large range of virus and bacteria." she admitted. "Doesn't look good for the hero to start sneezing and being stuffed up right before a speech." she shrugged.

He brushed her hair out of her face. "Anything else you are hiding from me? Are you going to tell me your tattoos were there all along?" he teased.

"They were before I died, Cerberus didn't bother to recreate them, probably were too far gone to do it anyways." she said as she tilted her head away for him as he kissed her neck. "Besides that the only thing physically you don't know is that I have bad joints." He paused and looked up at her. "It's nothing to worry about till I get old, they just hurt sometimes, have to put something hot on them to release tension, ya know, that sort of thing." she said and shuddered as his hands went up the bottom of her shirt.

He slid his hand to her back, planning on pulling her to him, but instead her hand grabbed the front of his coat and shoved him against a wall. She glared at him, her eyes dark, hateful. She trembled and let him go, backing up to bathroom and curling up in the shower.

Thane watched her and after a moment he followed.

"I'm sorry," she said, her knees up against her chest. "I just… they tell me to sometimes and I…" she buried her face in her knees. "The voices will start yelling and I can't… I just can't stop…" she cried.

He moved and sat down beside her, holding her against his chest while she cried. Her hand occasionally went into a fist against him chest before it slackened again, clearly fighting some inner turmoil.

He pressed his face into her hair, breathing in her scent. "I should have been there, with you in the final battle… I could of protected you." he said, the guilt he felt for her condition being his fault coming out.

She laughed in a sick voice. "I drugged you, and you blame yourself." she said and traced the specks of darker scales on his chest.

He pulled her into his lap and kissed her cheek, making tears fall from her eyes. "Siha, I love you more than anything, nothing excuses me not being there to protect you in your time of need." he said and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

She hit his chest. "You're an idiot." she muttered and snuggled up to him. "But you're my idiot…" she went back to tracing the specks again. "I'm glad your back, your voice is louder than the others… most of the time." she said and he hugged her, not only because her saying she wanted him there made him happy, but hearing her admitting to the insanity she was going through retched his heart.

"Siha… I would like for us to go see our child." he said and she froze. He waited for her to respond. He waited, and waited, listening to the clock in the living room tick by. Ten minutes later and she was still silent and still stiff. "Siha…" he said quietly, stroking her hair.

She got off of him calmly and walked into the kitchen. He followed. She pulled a carrot out of the fridge and set it on the counter, then grabbed a knife and started to slice it into thin pieces. He barely stopped her before she cut her own fingers, refusing to move them up the carrot.

"Kat," he called and tried to pull the knife away from her.

She jerked it away and stabbed where his hand had been. "Get out." she said as she arranged the slices in a pattern that only made sense to her.

"Siha," he said and went to put a hand on her shoulder.

She spun around and backhanded him. "Get the fuck out!" she yelled at him, shoving him towards the door. "Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out." she kept repeating, shoving him further and further back. When his back hit the door she pulled the pistol off his hip that he always carried and stumbled back to the other side of the room, it pointed at him.

"Siha, calm down." he tried to reason, his hands up in surrender. "Please."

She backed up to the window and then climbed out it and onto the fire escape.

"Kat," he cried and tried to go after her, stopping in his tracks when she held the gun under her chin. "Siha, my love, please don't." he begged.

Her shoulders were shaking, tears falling from her eyes as she cocked the gun.

"No…" he pleaded again.

She didn't even look at him as she stepped back against the railing, her footing slipped on the slick wet metal. And then she was falling, the gun going off and clipping her cheek, leaving a deep gash.

Thane was sucked into the memory of Irikah, of her funeral. Of her body being tied with seaweed and put into the ocean, sinking, falling.

In the present it started to rain, a thunder echoing in the background. It always rained on… No this wasn't Kahje. Somehow his body made it through the window and his hand clasped around hers. He pulled her back up and held her against him, sinking down to his knees in relief that she was okay. "Thank the gods." he muttered and ran his fingers through her wet blonde locks.

The gun was gone, she dropped it when she fell, so she beat him with her hands, trying to get out of his grip as she screamed into his jacket.

"What did the voices say?" he asked when she finally stopped screaming.

She paused in her punches and looked up at him. "I don't want to see her. Why would I want to see her? Why would she want to see me? I'm a failure, I'm trash thrown to the waste side, I'm nothing." she yelled at him. "Don't stop me from shutting them up, don't stop me from—"

He kissed her and cut her off. "I will stop you every time, my warrior angel. You are strong and beautiful." he kissed her eye lids as they closed. "There has never been anything you weren't willing to face." he pushed her wet hair out of her face. "We have created something so perfect it is beyond measure, and I know she wants to see you. She wants to know the mother that everyone talks so highly of, the woman behind the strong front, she wants to know the caring, wonderful person that is her mother." He couldn't tell for sure with the rain, but he thought she was crying again. "Many years ago you helped me face this same fear with my son, now it is my turn to help you, to connect with our daughter and be the family she wants so badly."

She chocked back a sob and held on to him. "I'm a mess, Thane…" she protested.

"You are her mother, you could not be any more perfect in her eyes." he promised. "I'll be right by your side, I promise."

TaT

Kat slept soundly beside him, sleeping off the sleeping pills he forced on her to help with the pain in her cheek. He had tended to it with the liquid stitches she had, but it was still a nasty cut. He turned his eyes away from it and down to her tattoos across her skin. He pulled down the front part of her shorts a bit to see Krios spelled out in cursive script on her right hip. He traced the letters and felt his groin stir. His name on her was… arousing. On her right shoulder and going across to her chest and curling under her breast was a gold Chinese dragon, though all he could see right now was the tail that pocked out past her beater. Her left shoulder was home to a perching phoenix, the tail wrapping around her arm twice in elegant flames. Her upper back had a pair of angel wings nestled between her shoulder blades with Siha, written in the same script as Krios, connecting them. Her lower back had what humans referred to as a tramp stamp, right above her pants line. It was a showing of the different phases of the moon with the full moon being the largest and the center point and having the waning and waxing branch off from it and getting smaller and smaller with each one. The last tattoo was a scratch mark on her ass that beside it read "Scratch me, Bite me, You'll only excite me." He was sure that one came from her days in the gang. He liked the tattoos. Drell were born with their markings, but humans have the chance to pick theirs with their pale soft skin being the perfect canvas for the art.

Kat shifted in his arms and muttered something in her sleep and he held her closer, giving a silent thank you to the gods that they allowed him to be graced with such a woman. And tomorrow they would go see their child and start their life as a family.

**A/N: So this was going to be longer, but it's been awhile since I've posted anything so I decided to go ahead and post this and you just won't get to see the heartwarming scene till later. I think this is enough feels anyways.**


	46. Chapter 46

JaK

Kat fidgeted in her seat as she drove towards the Vakarian household. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" Thane asked from the passenger's seat.

Kat was a decent driver considering her right foot was an ill-fitting prosthetic and she only had one hand. She looked over at him and leaned her stub on the arm of the seat. "Nah, I'm fine, it gives me something to do." she said and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel.

Thane put his hand on her shoulder. "Siha, you'll be fine." he assured her. In truth he had been worried about it, with how her behavior could get before, but this was the first time since he had been back that he had seen her completely sober, hell it was the first time he had seen her out of her apartment even. He recalled their time together over the years, how she protected those who couldn't protect themselves, how she cared for him so intently when he was sick. She'd be a great mother, he knew it. He rubbed her shoulder. "I love you." he said to try and sooth her.

She gripped the steering wheel and switched to the brake as they hit some traffic through downtown. "Yeah…" she said and looked down at her hand at the bottom of the steering wheel. "Me too…" It got to her when he talked like that.

They had to stop in traffic and Kat tapped the steering wheel, impatiently. There was a knock on her window and she jumped and looked over, seeing Jack standing there with a big grin on her face.

"Let me in, Blondie." she called through the glass.

Kat shook her head and unlocked the door.

Jack slid in the back seat and shoved her head into the front. "Hey, it's Krios, how on Earth are you on Earth?" she said and Kat turned and shoved her head back. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"Jack, hush," Kat said and rubbed her forehead. "They got the Kahje mass relay up, he came on the test ship back." she explained.

Thane looked back at Jack. She looked the same, only her hair was longer, still shaved on the sides, but her hair appeared to be able to go down to her shoulders if it was down, right now being pulled back into a tight ponytail.

"Oh… well welcome back." she said and clasped him on the back. "You're welcome for saving her life." she jabbed her thumb towards Kat. Thane blinked at her and she explained. "Guess you are still behind on everything that happened, huh? Well, you see after the final charge Harbinger came swooping down and shot every last one of 'em down." she said and he nodded, having gathered that much from the radio.

"Garrus and Tali were with me to start. They got brushed by the beam… Garrus was hit pretty bad so I called down the Normandy to get them out of there… After Harbinger got a direct hit on me and knocked me out." Kat cut off a little quick and it made Thane raise an eye ridge.

"Yep, and this building fell down and all that shit and she got buried by it. Took two weeks to find her, I found her, dug her out… Well actually I stepped on her, and then dug her out." Jack laughed.

"Then you have my thanks," he said with a slight nod and faced forward again.

"So where are we going?" Jack asked, kicking the back of Kat's seat.

Kat inched the car up as the traffic shifted a bit. "To Garrus's." she replied and Jack blinked.

"Does he know…"

"Yes, he met up with them and Garrus brought him to my place." Kat filled her in.

Jack grinned. "That's good, and you look a lot better than the last time I saw you."

"The last time you saw me it was because I called you to come pick me up from a bar after getting completely wasted off my ass and getting into a huge bar fight." Kat dismissed what Jack was really saying.

"_You look better, happier, now that he is back."_

Jack grinned and sat back in the car.

MoM

When they pulled up she parked by Garrus's car. Thane and Jack got out before they released that Kat wasn't moving.

"Siha," Thane said, ducking his head back into the car.

Her head was down on the steering wheel, hands gripping it so tightly her knuckles were white. It pained him to see her like this as he slid back into the passenger's seat, shutting the door to give them some privacy.

Gently he put a hand on her back and then slid it around her, pulling her out of her seat and into his lap. She buried her head into his neck and her shoulders jerked a little. "Siha, my warrior angel, you can do this." he whispered into her ear.

"I haven't seen her in almost a year…" she admitted.

"And I know she wants to see you." he soothed.

She gripped him tighter. "That's not what they think." she muttered.

He brushed the hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. "The voices are merely your doubts." he said and she slowly started to slacken her grip. "I'll be right by your side."

They got out of the car together and walked to the door. Thane knocked and after a minute the door opened to reveal Garrus.

He looked at them, at Kat hiding behind Thane. "What is she doing here?" he hissed and tried to step out and shut the door before Irikah saw.

A shrill behind him told him he was too late. "Mommy!" she said and ran past the rest of the adults and clung to her legs. "Mommy is back!" she said, jumping up and down.

Thane wondered if all human children were this hyper. He gave Kat a reassuring look and she cautiously picked her up, holding her on her left hip.

Irikah wrapped her arms around Kat's neck, hugging her tight. "I love you, mommy." she said and Kat gave a little soft smile.

Garrus watched her closely, not liking having her so close to his godchild.

"She is fine," Thane assured him, but it did little.

Kolyat appeared at the door too, putting a hand on Thane's shoulder. Unable to stop himself, he looked at Kat's missing arm and took in her slightly slanted stance.

Kat noticed. "I'm a few pieces short." she told him, unbothered by his stares. She'd come to terms with that much at least.

"And your hair is…" he commented, staring at the bright blonde locks and remembering the video.

"Yeah… I used to dye it…" she said and Thane gave him a look telling him to drop the subject, so he did.

"Well, come on inside." Garrus said and let them in the house.

jlot

It was amazing, the change Shepard had in people. Within two hours Garrus was off his pin and needles and was laughing with Kat, telling old war stories. Tali commented that it was about time Garrus got his best friend back. This was the woman Thane fell in love with and it made his heart swell to see that life come back to her eyes, even if it was only a little bit.

"Remember the mission to pick this one up?" Kat asked Garrus, jabbing her finger towards Thane.

Garrus gave a short laugh, "What about it? Fighting through all the mercs, or looking for a shadow of a man crawling through the vents?"

"No, no, I'm talking about up on that bridge, with the turrets." Kat said and Garrus shook his head.

"Don't remind me, that truly wasn't one of our finest moments." he said and they started telling the story for those who hadn't been on the mission.

"_Shep, you can't run out in front of a turret." Garrus called over to Kat, who had gotten herself pinned down to a crate, a turret firing on either side of it_

_She laughed, "Sure I can, my health just doesn't agree with it." she mocked. "Take it out, you big bad ass sniper." she ordered._

"_I can't, if I pop my head out I will be shot!" he barked back at her._

"_Come on, you took a missile to the face, you can handle a few little turrets!"_

_They started stabbing insults back and forth until Grunt roared, making them both turn to the krogan. "Krogans do not hide!" he shouted and charged the bridge._

"_Why did we bring the tank baby?" Garrus yelled and moved out to cover Grunt's ass._

"_Because he is MY tank baby!" Kat snapped back and moved to charge with Grunt. They didn't so much as shoot as beat down the mercs in their way, knocking them off the windy bridge._

_A large gust of wind blew through and Grunt slid on the metal. He bunkered down and reloaded his gun. "Grunt, where is Shepard?" he heard Garrus cry and he quickly looked about. The wind, strong enough to make a krogan slide, had thrown her off her feet and she was dangling off the edge of the bridge with two mercs clinging to her legs._

"_Kat!" Garrus cried and darted out. He heard his shields sizzle, but he kept his head down and kept running, sliding down next to her and gripping her hands. The mercs suddenly went slack and let go of her feet, allowing Garrus to pull her up._

Thane smiled, remembering that. He had been on the other side of the bridge, cutting his way into the last vent that would lead him into the room with his target when by chance he looked back and saw her dangling there, the turian trying to pull her up against the wind and extra weight. He pulled out his sniper and fired two silent shots, both landing in the head of the mercs and freeing the woman.

_After being pulled to safety they charged the remainder of the way to the stairs. "Grunt, up the stairs, knock down anyone that gets in your way to me and Garrus and take out those turrets!" Kat ordered and the krogan moved with a nod and a grunt. He plowed through anyone trying to stop him, Garrus and Shepard quickly finishing off the thrown mercs, and slammed into the first turret. Kat and moved to rejoin his side, but Grunt hadn't noticed and thought she was another merc. He picked her up and threw her into the other turret, ending its rain of bullets._

"I was sore for a week after that, took everything I had not to go limping in that room." she and Garrus laughed together.

Thane smiled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. That day was special to him, even if he hadn't known it at the time.

ZzZ

When it started getting dark and Irikah started yawning, they all started to settle down. "Are you guys staying here for the night?" Tali asked and tried to take the dozing child out of Kat's arms.

"If you don't mind, there isn't really anything waiting for us back at my place." Kat lied and tightened her grip on her daughter.

"Sure, I'll go set up the guest bedroom. Do you mind giving Irry a bath and getting her ready for bed?" Tali asked, knowing that Kat wouldn't give her another choice anyways.

Kat nodded and went to the upstairs bathroom. Thane followed to help, holding her with an arm around her waist and looking down at their beautiful daughter. She handed her to Thane while she drew the bath, careful not to make the bath too hot.

When Irry was in the water he moved back to the door to give Kat some space, wanting them to form a bond.

"Are you and daddy going to sleep here?" Irry asked as Kat worked shampoo through her thing hair.

"Yeah…" she said as she tilted Irry's head back and poured water down it, rinsing the foam out of her hair.

"Can I sleep with you?" she asked and Kat shuddered.

"No… no, it's best if you sleep in your own bed." she said and Irry looked up at her with her big black eyes. "I… am not as in control of myself while I sleep." she tried to explain, but Irry still looked sad.

The rest of the bath was silent, in fact Irry didn't speak again until Kat had dressed her and tucked her into bed. "Mommy…" she said quietly as Kat went to leave. She paused and looked over at the girl. "Why don't you love me?"

Kat sighed and leaned against the door frame. "I do… I just can't…" she trailed off. She shut off the light and went to the guest room. She slid down into the furthest corner and cried with her knees against her chest. She had a healthy daughter with a wonderful man, and she couldn't even enjoy any of it. Even now she could feel the edging of withdraws from the meds, the clearing of her mind as the drugs left her system. It frightened her. Sane, she was a danger to everyone around her, insane they were safe from everyone but her. She grabbed her bottle of pills from her pocket and threw them across the room and beat her head against the wall until the next thing she remembered was being in the bed, in Thane's arms, safe. She was safe. And she let the darkness surround her.

**A/N: I am so sorry for not posting in forever. I have been busy as hell and I got huge writer's block. Work load hasn't let up, but I wanted to finish this chapter, even if it is kind of short. Well enjoy, I'll try to get the next one up sooner.**


	47. Chapter 47

He woke up to shifting in his arms. He cracked his eyes open, his inner eyelids blinking the sleep away from his eyes. "Siha," he muttered as Kat twitched away in his arms. He brushed her hair out of her face and turned her back to face him, one arm sliding under her shoulders and the other over her waist. She was still shaking, but her eyes were still, so she wasn't dreaming. He sighed and slid out of the bed. He tucked her in the covers up to her chin and kissed her forehead, before sliding out of the room. He walked down stairs, planning on going into the kitchen, but the TV being on in the living room redirected his path.

Jack sat sprawled out on the couch, her head tilted back and snoring. He sighed and went to turn the TV off. Unfortunately it was one of those TVs that didn't have any buttons on it, this being the age of laziness where a remote seemed like the only reasonable choice. He spotted it in Jack's hand and went over to her. He slid the remote out of her grip and, out of sheer reflex, caught, the fist she sent at his head. He should have known that she would act like this in her sleep, just like Kat, actually.

She was wide awake now, taking her fist away from him. "What time is it?" she asked and rubbed her eyes.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Around four AM." he replied and she let out a groan.

"What are you doing waking me up at four in the morning?" she asked and ruffled her black locks of hair.

"Drell need less sleep than humans. I was merely trying to turn the TV off." he explained and sat down beside her, placing his elbows on his knees and resting his head on his hands in thought. "Jack… will you please tell me about when you found Shepard?"

Jack looked at him weird and sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I guess you would want to hear the details." she yawned. "It's not too happy, though, let me warn ya."

"_It's been two days…" Anderson said gravely. He looked around at the people gathered in the tent. Garrus, Tali, Jack, Wrex, Grunt, Liara, James, Jacob, Joker, Chakwas, Steve, Kaidan, Gabi, Ben, Kasumi, Zaeed, even Victus. "We are officially looking for a body."_

_Garrus slammed his hands down on the table in the middle of them. "Shepard would not just die that easy! She is alive!" he snapped, shaking in rage. Tali was crying beside him, arms wrapped around her waist. It affected everyone hard. He looked around to them and ground his teeth. "Come on, we are going to go find her." he told them and left the tent._

_Slowly those closest to her started to move, leaving only Gabi, Ben, and Victus in the tent with Anderson._

_Grunt let out a roar. "No battle master of mine would just lay down and die." he said and smacked his fists together._

"_Shepard is too stubborn to stay dead." Wrex agreed._

"_I'll give you that," Kaidan said as they marched across the rumble._

_They stopped at the edge of the field created by Harbinger's attack. "If anyone could have survived this…" Garrus said as he looked at it._

"_It would be Kat." Tali finished and they started picking through the rumble._

_They didn't find her that day, or the next, and as the days dragged on they slowly had to stop the search. Kaidan was the first to be called off, his help needed by the Alliance. Then Wrex was called off a few days later to calm his army, the next day he called upon Grunt as his second to help. Then Joker went, followed by Steve. They needed pilots to help circulate supplies. Chakwas wasn't called exactly, more that she spent less and less hours on the search and more time at the make shift hospital. They couldn't blame her for wanting to save the people that she could._

_A little of a week passed and Jacob was informed that his wife went into labor so he left to help with the baby. Liara followed suit to help channel supplies to where it was needed. Ben, Gabi, and Tali had to go help get technology back up and running. They called James, Zaeed, and Kasumi to help with some bandits that had sprung up in the desperate times._

_All that was left was Garrus and Jack. It had been fifteen days. "We're not going to find her, are we, Jack?" he asked her as they looked over the rumble at the setting sun._

"_Well she has to be out there…" Jack said and picked up a piece of rubble. She threw it as hard as she could and watched it fall._

_Garrus sighed and rubbed his weary face. "I don't want to give up the search, but…"_

"_Your father and sister are here right?" Jack asked to try and stop his guilt._

_Garrus nodded, "Yeah, dad is helping Victus organize the troops and my sister is in the hospital with a broken leg… damn thing already healed, but it was weak and the stubborn girl refused to sit by."_

_Jack smirked, "Sounds like her brother."_

_His mandibles flared into a bit of a smile. "Yeah, I guess so… It's all just busy work, though, to keep our minds off… well my mother."_

_Jack looked back out at the rumble. "You go to your family, I'll keep the search up." she told him._

"_Don't you have someone to see?" Garrus asked her._

_She gave a short laugh. "Like who? Shepard was my only friend, I have no family, and my biotic students no longer have biotics, nor do I for that matter. I'm useless. I might as well dig up whatever I can find of that bitch."_

_Her words were cold, but the tears in her eyes showed how she really felt. Shepard and Jack had gotten pretty close. Out of everybody Jack, Tali, and himself were probably having the hardest time adjusting to life without her. Garrus and Tali had already had a trial run of it, but Jack hadn't. He clasped her on the back and headed back to the camps._

_The next morning he woke up to a lot of shouting and feet running past his tent. He rolled out of bed and grabbed his gun._

"_Somebody help me! She is really fucking heavy for a scrawny little bitch." Jack cried from the piles of rubble._

_Jack was in a hole dug in the piles of broken buildings, her arms locked around a body's chest. it was badly burnt, mangled, and patches of the metal armor seemed to be melted to it._

_It took a while to get everyone to calm down around to pull them out of the hole. They worked the helmet off to confirm it, but the custom armor already told her team what they wanted. It was Kat. She was beaten, bloody, burnt, and barley breathing, but she was breathing. She was alive!_

"_Everyone back off!" Garrus ordered. "Make a path!" They listened, either shocked, scared, or respectful at his boldness. He picked her limp body up in his arms and carried her to the hospital, trying to ignore his nerves between every gap of her raspy breaths._

_Chakwas came immediately, trying to find a place to hook her up to an IV, but everything was either too burnt, or covered in armor. They were all forced out of the room while the doctors worked._

_In the end they had to use a saw to cut through her armor. It was clear that her right side took the most direct force of the blow. The armor had been so metaled to her that they ended up having to cut off her lower arm and leg._

"_Hold her down, she is starting to wake up." Chakwas ordered. She got Garrus to come back in and help restrain her._

_Wrex was allowed in too and was given the duty of holding her right arm out away from her body. "Keep her still." Chakwas ordered as the saw was brought to her arm and they started cutting._

_A scream ripped through Kat's lips and she jerked upward. Garrus forced her back down and tried not to look as they cut through her limb. There was a sharp snap as it broke through her joint and a few of the hands turned and threw up._

"_Give me the blow torch!" Chakwas ordered and singed the bleeding stub._

_Garrus thanked the spirits when they gave Kat a cloth to bit down on to help against the pain as it muffled her screams a bit. She calmed down when they let go of what was left of her arm, only to jerk in panic as they grabbed her right leg._

"_Sorry, Shepard, I hate to do this. And I don't even have anything to help you against the pain." she said before she started sawing._

_Garrus watched this time, unable to turn his head away. He cringed and tightened his grip on her as the sickening sound of the saw grinding against bone filled the room. He looked down at her face and felt so guilty about what was going on, even though it was for her best interest. Her eyes were clenched shut, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. The great Commander Shepard, so vulnerable and weak; his best friend, burned, bleeding, and dying in front of him as he held her down. He waited for Chakwas to singe the leg, but she just wrapped it up._

"_Don't you need to singe it?" he asked._

_She shook her head, "It wouldn't stop the arteries from bleeding, plus it could send her into shock, best to let it heal on its own." she said sadly._

_They had to shave her head and put twenty-six stitches in it to close the gash in the back where she had hit the ground. For her torso they used maggots to eat away the dead flesh. The rest of her body had fared better, but it was still a miracle that she was alive at all and was given little survival odds._

_Two months later and she still hadn't reawakened. She was healing well, faster than normal as the implants in her started to move again. But something about her stomach caused reason for them to worry. At first they thought it was bloated, but Chakwas has a suspicion and ran an ultrasound on her. Sure enough there was a fetus growing inside of her womb. It was clearly Thane's as it was already starting to resemble a drell. Not only did they manage to conceive another child, but the child hadn't been damaged from the battle. The only way Chakwas was able to explain it is that it must have been so young during the fight that it probably hadn't even fitted itself to the uterus wall yet._

Thane stopped her. "Thank you, I believe I can fill in the rest on my own." he said and put his face in his hands. The pain she must of went through, and he wasn't there. He had failed her. He thanked the gods for one last chance to protect her.

A thud from upstairs called their attention. Thane was on his feet at once and headed up the stairs. Jack was a little slower, taking in his muscular form and his markings. Thane was hot.

Thane opened the door to the guest bedroom and found Kat on the floor, tangled in the sheets, and clutching her head. "Siha," he said and moved to her. She slammed into him, knocking him off his feet, and ran past him. She pushed past Jack who had just made it up the stairs. In her haste she tripped down the stairs and landed in a heap at the bottom of them. Everyone was awake now and went down to see if she was okay.

"Siha," Thane said and went to put a hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away from him, scrambling to her feet and looking at them.

But she didn't see them, she saw husks, closing in on her. She bolted to run the other way and stumbled as everything spun out of focus. They were behind her, the people who trained her. She was trapped, the reapers on one side, them on the other. They all started laughing at her as she spun about, trying to escape. Her stomach heaved and she threw up. It landed on something, something that was holding her. She looked down at it and saw a thick green vine wrapped around her waist. She trashed against it, but another one appeared on her other side and held her firmer. She slammed her head back and hit something hard. She wormed away and turned to face the creature. It was a snake, with vines for arms, a toad stood next to him, and a huge bird behind him. The bird squawked at her and she ran for the door, but one of its wings grabbed her and slammed her to the ground.

Thane looked down at her as Tali handed him a paper towel to wipe off her vomit and the blood dripping out of his nose. Garrus had her pinned against the floor, holding her as still as he could while she screamed and thrashed. Tali moved beside her and stuck her with a needle. Almost instantly she quieted and fell asleep against the floor.

They were all quiet, looking at her. It was a voice from the stairs that broke the silence. "Is mommy okay?"

They all looked back at Irikah. "She is fine, Irry, go back to bed." Tali assured her and Kolyat moved to take her.

Once she was gone Garrus turned back to Thane. "What happened?" he asked, furious.

"I don't know, I was down stairs with Jack and I heard a thud." Thane said and picked Kat up.

"Did she take her medicine last night?" Tali asked and Thane thought about it.

"I didn't see her take it, normally she is good about doing it on her own." he answered and Garrus just about flew off the handle.

"She is crazy, Krios. Without her medicine she is a danger to herself and to those around her. What if she had went after Irry? She could have killed her! As it is Irry already had to see all that. She is five, she doesn't understand what is wrong with her mother. Her concept of it is about that of a cold that sooner or later Kat will get over." Garrus snapped at him. "But she won't, Kat will always be like this, will always be a danger to have around." he gritted his teeth. "We dug her out that day, but the Kat we knew died. She is not the same person, she is a mental case."

Thane looked down at the girl in his arms. "Garrus…" he said quietly.

"No, she is dead, Thane. You lost the woman you loved, I lost my best friend. I am sorry, but that is the way it is. I was hoping you'd see that and come and be a father to your daughter. Kat is a lost cause, if you don't see that then Irry will grow up without you in her life just like you did with Kolyat." Garrus finished his rant and was panting. "I will not let Irikah be in danger by being near her."

Upstairs Irry clung to Kolyat and cried, having heard the loud rant. Kolyat rubbed her back. "It'll be okay." he tried to assure her.

"I want us to be a family." she whined. "All of us… daddy, and you, and Uncle Garrus, and Aunt Tali, and… and m-o-mmy!" she sobbed out the last part.

"I know," he told her and laid down in the bed with her. "Go to sleep, it'll be better in the morning." he cooed and started humming a drell lullaby.

Thane moved into the living room and set Kat down on the couch. "She isn't crazy." he said with his back to them, his hands behind his back.

"What are you talking about?" Garrus asked, not believing it.

Thane turned to face them. "Not long after my arrival I went to refill her prescription and the pharmacist told me that the dosage was unheard of. He was about to tell me more before a man in a suit and shades walked in." Thane took a breath. "The next day he was murdered. When I went to the police to report my knowledge they told me the case was being taken care of, only the same man was in one of the backrooms. Also as I was leaving they were forcing the author of the article in the paper into the police station."

"And…" Garrus said, confused.

Thane moved so he stood in front of them. "I believe they silenced the pharmacist for what he said and then tried to cover it up."

"Or it was a shooting in downtown D.C." Garrus pointed out.

Thane shook his head. "Shepard… Shepard was part of some organization, something high up in the human government. They trained her since she was sixteen to be the perfect soldier. I believe that now she is crippled and the war is over they do not have a use for her, but she is too publically known to put to death, because of the questions it would raise. It is my theory that they dubbed her mentally insane and are forcing her to take the antidepressants in such large doses that it will actually make her appear insane and discredit anything they say against them."

It was clear by their faces that Jack thought it was possible, Tali was iffy, and Garrus thought he was insane.

"If you allow us to stay here I would like the chance to prove my theory by weaning her off the drugs." Thane continued.

"You can go back to your apartment and do whatever you want." Garrus said stubbornly.

Thane shook his head. "Kat scratches at places on the wall and mumbles something about eyes. It is always the same spots. She also will stare out the window and will randomly shut the blinds saying 'the auto is watching.'" he sighed. "Someone has bugged the apartment and is watching it. I know here is it safe because Tali would never allow a single bug into her home and nothing would be able to go under her radar."

"You guys can stay, but keep a close eye on her." Tali interjected. Garrus looked at her like she was crazy. "I don't know if all of it is true, but the apartment is bugged, and whenever I remove one it will be replaced by our next visit. That is why I stopped wanting to have Irry go over there." she explained.

CaT

The withdraws raked through her body even in sleep. Nightmares raging through her mind, screaming at her body to move, but it refused, yelling at her to wake up, but the drugs persisted to keep her under.

_She relived Thane's death, only she didn't save him, instead he turned into rats in front of her and ate her alive._

_She was strapped down to a table while something prodded at her stomach from the inside, stretching it this way and that. She called for her baby, afraid it was dying. She could see its hand pressed against her skin. Then with a splash of red it ripped through her skin and crawled out of her. She screamed. It was the human reaper, legless and crawling up her body._

"_No," she cried as it grabbed her face, one hand on the top of her head, the other under her chin. It leaned down to her ear and gave a crazy laugh._

"_Hello there, Kitty-Kat." it cried and she jerked at the restraints. It forced her mouth open and started crawling inside, going up to her brain, taking over her body. She couldn't breathe. It filled her lungs. She couldn't hear anything but its insane laughter._

_Then she was floating in water and it was dark. She swam to the surface and walked onto a beach in front of her. A drell woman was standing there. She looked like a smaller version Kolyat with vivid yellow-orange eyes. "How dare you take him from me!" she cried and attacked her._

_They fell back into the water and the woman held her head under the water. She flailed and gasped for breath as the teal hands tightened around her neck and the salt water filled her lungs. She swung and landed a blow to the woman's head and she fell into the water. Kat stood up and stumbled back from the body._

"_Siha…" a voice said behind her and she turned to see Thane standing there. She went to call his name, but he ran past her and cradled the woman. "Siha," he said and wiped the blood off her face. "Siha, wake up, my Irikah." he pleaded. The woman turned into sea water in his arms and he stood up. "Why, Shepard! Why would you kill my love?" he accused her._

"_I…" she stumbled and backed away from him "She tried to kill me." she defended._

"_You killed her. It is your fault. Everything is your fault." he said and moved towards her in a rush, a blade suddenly in his hand right before it sliced into her gut._

"_Thane…" she cried as she crumbled into his arms. "I love you…"_

"_And he loved Irikah, and now all of you will die." the man with the sunglasses said and laughed._

She jolted awake and threw up beside the bed.

"Siha," a worried voice called beside her.

She jerked her head up and saw Thane entering the room and she jumped back, scooting backwards until she was off the bed and curled up into the corner.

Thane set down the glass of water he had been carrying and kneeled down in front of her.

She let out a cry as he got close and gripped her head, nearly pulling her hair out. "Go away," she cried, tears streaming down his face. "Please, I didn't mean to… I didn't mean to…" she begged.

He didn't listen, instead moving closer and pulling her to him. "Siha, it's okay." he said and rubbed her back. "It was just a dream."

She cried against him until she fell asleep again and he tucked her back into the bed. He sighed and sat down on the edge. It had been three days since she had stopped taking the medicine. She'd wake up periodically, but it didn't seem she had much memory of them.

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. Once she was better he was going to hunt down whoever did this to her and end their existence. Shepard, his siha, was living in fear of these people, had given up everything in that fear, and he wouldn't have any of it. She was strong and beautiful, his warrior angel, and he was going to get her back.

Once he was sure she was asleep he went downstairs and gathered some cleaning supplies to clean up the vomit. There wasn't anything in her stomach, but stomach acid. She either slept or freaked out while she was awake. They couldn't get her to eat, hell they had to force her to drink anything. In three days she had already dropped a bit of weight. An IV wouldn't work, they tried that before she had woken up the first time and Kolyat had the puncture wounds on his arms from the result. She had woken up and had tried to use it as a weapon, not recognizing any of them. Kolyat managed to get it away from her and with Thane's help they injected her with a sedative and put her back to bed.

He finished cleaning up the vomit and looked down at her one last time. He brushed her hair out of her face and with a sigh he left the room, locking the door behind him.

When he made it back down stairs Irry was waiting for him with her big eyes. "Is mommy okay? Is she still sleeping? When can I go see her?" she pried.

Thane picked her up and set her back on solid ground rather than hanging on the banister. "She will be fine, but for now you need to stay away from her." he said as he went and put the cleaning supplies away.

Irikah followed him. "Is what mommy has contagious?" she asked and tugged at his coat.

Thane looked down at her, his eyes flickering slightly as he was reminded of Kolyat as a child. He sighed and picked her up. "No… but your mother… She was trained for the battle field, and in her state we don't want that training to lash out." he tried to explain.

She nodded, "Mommy was a great soldier, that's what everyone tells me." she said and Thane gave a soft smile. He remembered fighting with Kat on the battle field. Of how when hope was bleak something would trigger in her and she would fight like the warrior angel he had nicknamed her for. He had seen her win a fist fight with krogan, seen her stare threshermaw in the face, seen her land headshots across the field with a pistol. She was one hell of a soldier. She had saved the galaxy and it tossed her aside. "Hey, daddy?" Irikah chirped, pulling him out of the memories. "Can we dance crazy? Kolyat said you used to dance crazy with him." she pleaded.

He looked down at her shocked and then smiled. "As you wish, my little girl." he said and they moved into the living room. He turned the radio on to some old human music and started to spin with her in his arms. She giggled as he tossed her in the air and caught her again, clinging to him when she was safely back in his arms.

"I love you, daddy." she said against his neck.

He put a hand on her head as they spun, but froze on a dime as footsteps were heard upstairs. He set Irikah down and bolted back up the steps, bumping into Kolyat on the stairs. "Whooh, dad, watch out." he said.

"Sorry," Thane apologized and went to keep going upstairs, but Kolyat grabbed his arm.

"She is sleeping, I just checked on her." he said and Thane let out a sigh.

"You must think I'm crazy." he said and leaned against the railing.

Kolyat shook his head. "Maybe a little bit." he admitted. "You fix on one thing and it's like you can't think of anything else."

Thane bowed his head at the remark.

"I know you love her, and we all want her to get better, but don't forget you have children, okay?" Kolyat put a hand on his father's shoulder and the older drell gave a smile.

"I'll have to keep that in mind." he said as they both walked back down stairs.

"Daddy!" Irikah said and ran at his legs. He snatched her up and spun her upside down , making her shirt fall and reveal her stomach. She let out a high pitch squeal as he blew on her stomach, her legs kicking out as she tried to get away. "Daddy, that tickles!" she shrieked as he did it again. He turned her right side up and went to pull down her shirt, pausing as he saw her bellybutton, a little patch of pink in a sea of green scales. He ran a finger over it. She looked so much like a drell, like him, that sometimes you could forget that she was half human. Irikah noticed where his attention was and giggled. "I have mommy's skin here too." she said and shoved the palm of her hands in his face. He blinked, having not noticed before. "And the bottom of my feet and a bit on my chest too." she giggled as Thane grabbed her feet and blew on the pink skinned bottoms like he had on her stomach. She let out a shrill laugh and jerked away from him.

"Boys, stop making her scream." Tali called from the kitchen and they all laughed.

Thane spent the day more involved with the other people in the house. He helped Tali with dinner and she explained how between her, Chakwas, Kat, and a few dozen other scientists they found a way to allow dextro aliens to eat levo food. It didn't give them as much nutrient as dextro food, but at least they weren't starving here on Earth without the ability to grow food or ship it here fast enough to sustain them. Thane was confused and asked how Kat helped if she was mentally insane since the final battle. Tali explained that while Kat was in the mental hospital they had given her journals and she had started to scribble things about DNA, dextro verses levo. "She is quite brilliant at biology… I guess it proves how little about her we knew." Tali said sadly.

Thane gave a slight nod. "She kept much of herself a secret, for several reasons. She needed to seem perfect to stop everyone from worrying, that paired with her past…" Thane trailed off, not knowing if he should tell Tali about it or let Shepard herself do so.

"You mean like that video from back on the SR-2?" Tali asked. "That was really her then? I thought so when her hair went blonde, but I couldn't be sure."

Thane nodded. "She grew up on the streets after she ran away from a bad home life. Tell me, is that someone the galaxy would follow to the end? Put their lifes on the line for without hesitation?"

Tali looked back down at the meal cooking down on the stove. "I know she had her reasons… I just wish she trusted me enough to tell me some truth…"

Thane hovered his hand above her shoulder, a feather light touch. "She cared about you enough to keep the truth from you. If she had told you, you would have been a target to a secret organization in the human government." he reassured her.

"You mean the people spying on her, feeding her drugs, making her appear to be insane?" Tali asked. "Who would do that? Shepard is the savior of the galaxy."

He shook his head, "I do not know. It is largely a mystery to me as well, all I know is that 'they' are the ones that took her off the streets, they trained her, taught her how to be the ideal hero, and they got lucky that she actually was one."

They ended the conversation. Something about speaking this put them on edge, like someone was watching them.

**A/N: That chapter took forever, you guys better like it or I'll send Kat to murder your souls, you know she could do it. Anyway not much story plot, really just catching Tali and Garrus up to speed on what is actually happening inside of Kat's head. Next chapter she will be functional enough not to flip her shit every time she is awake. Also in honor of chapter 50 I was thinking of doing something smut related. There hasn't been much smut lately. I don't know, what do you guys think? You want Kat to have her way with her baby's daddy? Got any ideas for the situation? I could always work it in as a fantasy or something so anything goes. Put it into a review or if you're embarrassed send me a PM, I do not judge, I like giving you guys some sway as to what goes on in DWBUA.**

**On another note anyone who would want to draw me a picture of little Irikah I would gladly repay with a one shot dealing with anything they please. It could be Kat and Thane, it could be Kat with Jack, it could even be Kat with your OC, your OC with anybody.**

**Anyway Review!**


	48. Chapter 48

They all sat down for dinner, gathering what they wanted from the various platters on the table. Feeding three and a half different species was a task in of itself. Thane looked over at his children and gave a gentle smile. Kolyat was cutting us Irry's chicken breast, having to push her hands away when she would try to just grab it with her fingers.

"Coal, I can do it." she whined.

He didn't give her a response until he was done cutting up the meat. "You're as stubborn as your mother." he said and ruffled her hair, making her giggle.

"I'm also strong like her." she said and threw a punch at him, hitting him in the arm. He pretended like it hurt and she gave a nod of approval.

"Did you guys see that? She is abusive." he said and Garrus shook his head.

"No, didn't see a thing." he lied in favor of his godchild.

They all laughed, but Garrus cut off quickly and was looking behind them. Thane and Kolyat turned in their chairs and saw Kat standing in the doorway, her hair a tangled mess and leaning against the doorway.

It was Irikah who broke the silence. "Mommy!" she cried and started pushing Kolyat. "Move so mommy can sit beside me." she commanded, but he didn't budge. Instead he looked to Garrus, who looked at Thane and gave a slow nod.

Kolyat got up and moved to the other side of the table and sat beside Tali in the other free chair. Kat stumbled forward and flopped into the chair. She dropped her head on the table where Kolyat's plate was a minute ago.

"Um… Kat… Are you okay?" Garrus asked.

She groaned. "No, my head feels like it is split open, my stomach is trying to heave, but there isn't anything fucking left in it." she groaned. "What the hell did you do with my crazy pills?"

Thane frowned as she cursed in front of Irikah, but given how she felt he wouldn't pester her to much about it. He did, however, made a mental note to tell Irikah that it was not something she needed to be repeating.

Tali stood up from the table and went into the kitchen to get another place set.

"We took them away, and the funny thing is you don't seem as crazy now." Garrus commented and Kat tensed.

"What do you know, I guess I'm cured or some shit." she said darkly.

"Irikah why don't you go help your aunt in the kitchen?" Thane said and the girl slid off her chair and ran after Tali.

Garrus waited till she was gone before he laid into Kat. "So this whole time you were never crazy? You just made everyone believe you were? Do you have any idea how worried we all were for you? And what about your daughter? She spent nearly the first five years of her life _without_ her mother. Because her mother was sick, was mentally insane." Garrus paused to let Kat defend herself.

"I was crazy, just not currently, in the past." she said quietly and her arm wrapped around her stomach, riding through the clenches and flips her empty stomach felt.

Garrus let out a low growl that Thane doubted Kat could hear. "And why here you 'crazy' the past five years?"

Kat looked up at him and sighed. "Space…" she said simple and Garrus clenched his fist.

"You needed space for five years?" he growled.

Kat shook her head. "It's an acronym. They people who took me off the streets. They drugged me." she said and looked away again.

Garrus grumbled but it was Tali who answered from the doorway. "You seemed pretty willing after they released you from the mental ward."

Kat flinched and let out a whimper at the mention of it. "They twisted my arm." she sobbed, begging them not to pry any deeper. Garrus snapped out her name and Kat shoved away from the table and went to return to her room.

"Siha…" Thane called after her.

Kat paused at the archway leading to the living room and the stairs. "I didn't have much of anything left after the attack. Nothing else left to fight for. They plucked on the last thing that tied me here, stopped me from blowing air into my damn IV." She growled, tears running down her cheeks, though they couldn't see it with her back turned. "I gave her up because they made me. Take the pills or watch her live the life I did." She went out the front door and started down the long drive.

Kat swore at her body, once toned and perfected for battle. It was now soft and left her panting before she even reached the gate. She plopped down by a post and ripped her prosthetic off, flinging it across the yard. She lifted herself up and kicked the stub against the post, cursing it and herself for being so worthless. Why had they even taken her off the fucking pills? With them at least her depressions had ignorance to them. Thick green arms wrapped tightly in leather wormed around her waist and pulled her away from the post. Thane dragged her back under an old living oak and sat on a swing with her, out of view of the front door where they undoubtedly had watchers. She beat her hand against her chest until the sobs stopped jerking her shoulders. He pulled her against him and buried his face in her hair.

"Why did you do this?" she asked calmly.

Thane brushed her hair behind her ear soothingly. "Because we all wanted you back."

She gripped the front of his jacket and shook. "But… they will…" she started chocking on her words and Thane rubbed her back, letting out a hum that vibrated through his body to let her know she didn't have to continue.

"I will watch over you, all of you." he promised. She looked up at him and they shared a kiss.

She shifted so she was sitting in his lap, curled up like a child. "I missed you." she murmured.

"And I you." he said and held her.

Irikah timidly walked up to them, holding Kat's prosthetic foot. "Mommy…" she said, looking down at her feet.

Kat looked down at their daughter as she held the metal foot out to her. "Thanks." she said and put it back on.

With that Irikah came closer and Thane lifted her to sit in Kat's lap on him. "Can we be a family now?" she asked, eyes pleading and full of tears ready to be spilt.

Kat looked up at Thane and sighed. "I don't take it you will let me go back to being crazy." she asked as she ran her fingers through Irry's hair. Thane's silence was answer enough. She sighed again. "Then I'm going to need a new leg and arm, they will come after us, and they will have a lot of guns."

GyM

Garrus and Tali set up an appointment with a doctor that would make Kat top line prosthetics. They had been making leaps and bounds with the technology from the high demand of them after the war. Using tech salvaged from the reapers and geth they found how to make them function just like a normal limb, they even looked normal if covered up, for they were grey with spots of blue and red from the wires. In the meantime Kat busied herself with crunches, one armed pushups, anything she could that didn't require her to have both legs or arms. At night she laid curled up beside Thane and he held her as shivers and convulsions rang through her body, the final aftereffect of the medicine that still lingered.

When the day finally came to have the prosthetics put on Kat was nervous, twitchy. "Talk to me," Thane said, holding her in the backseat of the car. Kat flinched at every car they passed by, stared into the face of every person walking on the street.

"About what?" she asked and looped her arm around Irry who sat on her left side.

Thane thought about it and asked a question that had been burning in his mind for a while. "This S.P.A.C.E., is there a man with blonde hair, wears shades." He slipped into the memory before he could stop himself. He repeated the event at the police station before his inner eyelids blinked and the area around him turned back into the interior of the car.

Kat let out a curse under her breath. "That was probably Tolten, he was at the boot camp with me and handpicked by S.P.A.C.E. for his brutality in leadership." She looked up at the driver's seat at Garrus. "You remember that scar I had on my left arm? The big one?" Garrus nodded. "I attacked Tolten for getting in my face and he slammed me down, beat me with a chair, and when it broke apart he stabbed me with the broken leg."

"Ouch." Garrus commented.

Kat gave a sadistic grin, "You should of seen what I did to him, brought out a shiv and stabbed it right into his…" she looked down at Irry and the rest knew what she was going to say and the men cringed. "Yeah… let's just say he is only half as potent." Kat's eyes darkened slightly and she let out a shiver. "After that he would constantly hound me, would attack me in my sleep, deny me meals, anything he could think of…" Thane kissed her forehead and she scooted closer to him.

"It's okay." he purred against her ear. "You don't have to talk about it."

Irikah looked up at her mother confused. She had always been told that her mother was a fearless hero, but here she was, shaking and scared. She patted the arm that was still wrapped around her. "It's okay, mommy, daddy and Coal and me will all keep you safe." she said and Kat looked down at her. She smiled down at her daughter and moved from Thane to coddle her.

xXx

Kat managed to stay come up until the point they tried to get her to lay down on the medical table. She hid behind Thane and he turned to console her. He whispered to her that it would be alright, that she wouldn't be going into another coma, just a nap and when she woke up he'd be there and she'd have her new limbs. Slowly she calmed down and he helped her lay down. He stayed by her right side, stroking her arm, while they put an IV in her intact left arm, followed shortly by the morphine to knock her out. As she slid into the darkness her heart rate shot through the roof, but the doctors assured Thane that it was fine.

She muttered to him about not leaving her and letting the darkness take her, referring to it as a ghost child at one point.

He kissed her forehead, "Shh, my Siha, I will be here when you wake up." he cooed as her eyes slid shut and she completely went under.

"It'll be fine, Thane." a familiar voice said behind him. Chakwas was there, all dressed in scrubs and ready to operate.

He gave her a slight bow. "I hadn't known you would be the one to perform the operation." he commented.

Chakwas walked up beside him and looked down at Kat. "After how many times I have stitched her back together do you think I'd really trust anyone else to do it?"

Thane smiled softly as he departed from the room, confident in Chakwas' ability.

XxX

There was a dull throbbing in the back of her head that trailed all the way down the right half of her body. She let out a whimper and tried to move her fingers and toes. They worked so she squinted her eyes open. The room was unbearably yellow-white. She turned away from the source above her head and found a scale covered kid sitting on the edge of the bed by her head. Above the girl stood a man that looked like her, but didn't have hair.

"She is awake, daddy." the girl said, but the air must have been thick like water, because it sounded very far off.

The man nodded and brushed Kat's hair out of her face. She let out another whimper and cringed from the touch.

"Is mommy okay?" the girl asked and the man nodded.

"It is just what the doctors gave her for the pain, she will be fine." the man said and Kat looked around through narrow slits in her eyelids to try and find another scaly person the girl had called her mother.

There was a name for them, the scaly people, but it refused to form the letters and sounds needed to solidify it. She tried to sit up, but her right arm refused to work like it should and she fell back to the bed. She looked over at her arm and saw that it was wires covered in plates of metal rather than flesh. The sight frightened her and her pupils undiluted as the memories flooded back to her. The people's spieces was drell, the older one was Thane, her boyfriend, and the child was their daughter. She was in the hospital to get new prosthetics, but something must of gone wrong. This wasn't what it was supposed to look like, this looked like someone melded a geth's arm to her and hotwired it with reaper tech.

"Siha calm down." Thane said to her left. She looked up at him and realized that the annoying beeping in the background that kept getting faster and faster was her heart monitor.

Kat ripped off the wires on her chest and the machine flat lined as she stumbled to the bathroom, wondering why she couldn't walk right until she looked down and one of the machines like on her arm was clinging to her leg. She fell in front of the toilet and threw up. She felt fingers holding her hair out of her face as her stomach kept heaving. Once she was able to lift herself away from the toilet she kicked the door shut and pulled Thane down beside her.

"Get it off." she pleaded against his chest. He didn't know what she was meaning so she continued. "It's reaper tech, Thane, get it off, please, I don't want to… to become one of them… I don't…" she let out a chocking sob. "I told the ghost child that I didn't… that I wouldn't become their Reaper. How did the human reaper get inside of me?" she cried as Thane rubbed her back and listened to what she was saying. She remembered her dream, the one where the reaper had crawled inside her mouth and taken over from the inside out. "Is there more under the skin?" she asked him. "Is it like my nightmares? Did the human reaper crawl inside of me?" she cringed and let out a pathetic whimper. "I don't want to be a reaper. Please Thane, kill me, please." she begged.

Before he could answer her Garrus called through the door. "Thane, you two okay in there?" he asked. 

"We are fine, she is a little scared, I'll calm her down and come out in a bit." he assured them and turned to Kat. "Who is the 'ghost child?'"

She looked up at him. "I started seeing him a few days before the reapers came. He'd play up on a garden that I could see from my room. When we escaped I found him in a vent and told him to come with us, but he refused and disappeared… When we were flying off in the Normandy I saw him get on a shuttle that was shot down… But, Thane, no one would help him. He was just a little boy and no one would help him in the shuttle. He was the last one on, but aren't kids the first on? Why was he on the last shuttle and not the first like the rest of the kids? Why did no one help him in? Why didn't Anderson hear him in the vent? Why was I the only one who saw the kid? Why did he haunt my dreams after he died? If he died. If he was real." she looked up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to not think she was crazy. "He wasn't real, was he…? He was a reaper. It makes sense, doesn't it?"

Thane looked down at her worried as she was confirming their fears from those five years ago, she had been becoming indoctrinated.

When he didn't speak she continued. "I knew- that they were getting in my head. I would start hearing their voices scraping against my skull when they were near, I started to be able to understand their signals, not their words, but the signals they send to control the troops. I started to dream about turning into one, or dying, or… The Illusive Man had been indoctrinated, the ghost child told me, in my dream that was real, the real dream… the awake dream." She didn't know what to call what happened up in the Citadel, she still wasn't sure herself.

"You met the ghost child?" Thane asked and she nodded. "In the Citadel after the final charge?"

Kat looked up to him with hopeful eyes. "Yes, yes, I was there, I was up there, I made it to the beam, but I didn't, but I did, I know I did, I shot Anderson, kill him, me, and the Illusive Man, the reaper me, the bad me."

"Slow down, tell me what happened after you were hit with the beam." Thane said, trying to get her thoughts to come in a more flowing manor to her. She was fine now, off the drugs, but this seemed to be all jumbled in her head, he knew because it wasn't the first time he had tried to get her to talk about it.

_Pain throbbed through her body as she stood up and grabbed her pistol. The rest of her guns were gone, leaving her just her handcannon. She glanced down at her armor to see that the silver knight styled armor was just a black burnt mess. She guessed she was lucky anything survived, including herself. The Reapers flew away and left her alone with the beam, so close now. She stumbled past the dead trees blowing in a wind that did not touch her face. Something was familiar here. As she neared the beam husks ran at her. She raised the pistol and took shaky aim at the closest one. The first shot missed and she raised her other hand to steady the first and fired again, hitting it threw the eye. She shot the next one in the chest and it fell over. The next one she shot in the shoulder and it crumpled to the ground. She shot the second two again as she passed. The second one may have been a kill shot, but the one in the shoulder shouldn't have been. Better safe than sorry._

_The last thing in her way from the beam, now only a few yards away, was a marauder, the turian reapers. It took several shots at her, but not a one hit as she raised the pistol back and shot at it. It missed and she crumpled to the ground, pain searing through her. She gritted her teeth and prepared to stand despite the pain when it faded down to a deep throb. When she got up she was sure the marauder hadn't moved. Best to think about it after the monster was dead. She raised her gun again and hoped she had enough bullets left. She shot it twice, one in the leg and the other in the stomach, and it fell to the ground._

_She did a mental list on how many bullets she had used. Six on the husks, twice on the marauder, that was eight bullets. That didn't make sense though because a handcannon clip, even after her upgrades, only held seven shots. She had negative one bullets. Rather than toss the gun aside she stumbled into the beam with it. Everything went white before it when black and red._

_When she opened her eyes she was on the cool blood caked floor of the Citadel. She pushed herself up and looked around at all the dead bodies partly processed that filled the tunnel she was in. Thankfully they didn't have a smell, or at least her nose wasn't picking one up, maybe it got blown off in the charge, she hadn't taken the time to check before, and when she was about to a voice rang over her com._

"_Shepard?"_

"_Anderson?" Kat's voice cracked as she replied._

"_Yeah, I followed you into the beam, but I don't think it let us out in the same place. I am in some dark corridor." his voiced replied._

"_Same, only mine is decorated with bodies ripe to process into DNA." she said back to him, trying anything to keep her feet moving, even a sarcastic conversation._

"_Yeah… is this what is was like in the collector's base?"_

"_No, that was worse, they were still alive, some on them awake. There was a girl- knowing my luck it was that Emily that janitor on Horizon was so upset about—she was processed as I tried to get her out, screaming behind the glass of the pod." Kat said, just needing to keep talking, if she stopped she might not be able to get back up again._

"_Damn… Hey, looks like there is a room up ahead."_

"_Don't get too far ahead of me," Kat grunted as she tried to move faster. "I am a little banged up here." That was a lie, but she just needed to keep talking._

"_It's some big open room, a trench… I think that's the control room up ahead."_

"_Anderson," Kat called into her com, but it had gone silent. "Damn it," she gritted as she picked up her face and the pain faded a bit more. Was she imagining it or was it getting easier to move whenever she didn't think she could go any further?_

_She came across the trench room and it reminded her of the Shadow Broker's ship, the design mirrored it in several places. No time to catalog it, she needed to find Anderson. So up the steps she went and she found Anderson standing over a console. When she entered he turned to face her, moving like a zombie from an old human film. What was the name? Zombie World? Dawn of the Dead? The Walking Dead? Why was she thinking of zombie movies in a time like this?_

**A/N: Why do I get inspiration on the night that I have to get up at six am, and at midnight, I'm already not going to get a full night sleep, and because of having the flu makes me cough worse than a drell with Keplar paired with me feeling bad I sort of left this alone while I went off to write another fanfic for a bit I stay up till after two am finishing this for you guys. Four hours of sleep, people. You are so lucky I didn't have work with college tomorrow or you would have had to wait for the next more convenient inspiration to hit.**

**Okay I'm done with my rant on how I feel like crap and you all better love me. So we are not going to be able to get to the smut chapter by chapter fifty. In order to do that this chapter would have had to of been about twenty-five pages long… it was nine when I cut it off. But a smut chapter in coming and I'll give you a little spoiler in exchange and for those of you that do not like spoilers, it is just the scenario so you don't need to get your panties in a twist.**

**Kat is going to worry about her new limbs being off putting so Thane is going to show her that he still finds her beautiful.**

**I really didn't mean for this A/N to be this long but it has been away… So yeah… only other new thing is that my second job is starting to pick up again, nothing major yet, just some paper work, but I am going to be becoming the manager this year so that means I am going to be busy during this summer a lot. This should give me enough cash to afford the final pieces to my desktop and I may get ME3 for the PC so I can kick some ass online. Don't know if any of you know, some do and I got chewed out for it, but I play on insanity as a soldier and get bored so I shoot down gunships with pistols and melee brutes to death for fun. Last time one of you found that out and that I don't have online I seriously think she wanted to kill me.**

**If you are still reading, kudos. I just want to finish by telling you guys of some great fics I enjoy so I can spread the love.**

**Fallen Star: www. fanfiction s/8447782/1/**

**Take Me to Infinity: www. fanfiction s/6593821/1/**

**His Siha: www. fanfiction s/5755444/1/**

**A Dance of Minds: www. fanfiction s/5922647/1/**

**Synodic Day: www. fanfiction s/7147217/1/**

**Live Life Siha: www. fanfiction s/7897784/1/**

**A Tad Unrestraint: www. fanfiction s/6157930/1/ (Note that this one is a very graphic sex fic)**

**For those that like GarrusXfemShep**

**Ante Up: www. fanfiction s/7788923/1/**

**Sense and Flexibility: www. fanfiction s/7440992/1/**

**Just remove the spaces and enjoy.**


	49. Chapter 49

_She tried to focus, but the more she tried the more her legs shook. She shook her head and tried to clear her mind as little feet seemed to scrap across the inside of her head, glaring behind her eyes, whispering in her ears._

"_I underestimated you, Shepard." a familiar voice said behind her. "I warned you, control is the means to survival." the Illusive Man said as he walked in front of her and turned so he was looking at her, hunched over, gripping her stomach, just trying to stay on her feet. "Control of the Reapers… and of you," she felt a pang and doubled over a bit more "if nesacary."_

_One of the feet in her head beat against her ear drum as it ran as Anderson spoke. "They are controlling you." he said and his head moved side to side as he fought for control over his body._

"_I don't think so, admiral." the Illusive Man said smugly._

"_Let me destroy the Reapers, I promise everything will be okay." Kat tried using sweet words and promises as she was taught._

_The Illusive man rested one elbow in his hand and held the other to his mouth. "Still not a believer, Shepard?" He dropped his hand and turned around in disgust. "When humanity discovered the mass relays we learned there was more to the galaxy than we imagined. There were some who thought the relays should be destroyed, they were scared with what we would find… Terrified at what we might let in."_

"_Good reason to be." Kat said as the Illusive Man turned to face her. "Come on, you were with Cerberus, the lance, and I know you know I was with Space, the shield." She glanced to Anderson, but if he was shocked to learn that she was with an organization that no one knew if it was just some internet rumor or water jug gossip or not, he didn't show it, or maybe he couldn't. "We find some bring thing out in space, send a ship through that never comes back, but instead something in a suit lands and gives us a hologram invitation to see a council or something? Yes, I know all about it."_

_The Illusive Man shook his head. "You're getting off topic." She just gave a strained shrug._

"_Look what humanity has achieved." he said and walked to the other side of Anderson. "Since that discovery we have advanced more than the past ten thousand years combined. And the Reapers will do the same for us again." He stopped to the left in between the two of them. "A thousand fold. But…"_

_Kat cringed as the feet scrapped and clawed inside of her head, making spots of her eyes go dark. She shut them and put her head in her hand, trying to silence the crying in on the inside of her ear. Her hand raised against her will and she stood up straight, her gun held out towards Anderson. He mirrored her movement, gun hand raised, right foot forehand in a shooting stance._

"_You idiot," Anderson said, voicing Kat's thoughts in kinder words. "We destroy them, or they destroy us." That was always the human way, something threatened you, wipe it out. It was the reason so many species on earth went extinct and now their clones were the ones wandering about. Maybe the Illusive Man was right._

"_And waste this opportunity?" The Illusive man said to Shepard as if he could sense her falter. "Never."_

_The risk of trying to control them was too great. Maybe if they could be turned around and never heard from again she would consider a different path. She thought of Thane, of Kolyat, safe on Kahje, but they wouldn't be safe forever with the Reapers still about. They had left Kahje alone so far, but they would go and destroy them, Liara said they destroyed every trace of technology they could find and there was a planet full bobbing in water. "We have the Crucible, we can stop them. I won't risk another way."_

"_No, there is only one way to use the Crucible effectively." The Illusive Man tried to reason, walking to the edge of the room again._

"_There is always another way." Anderson refused to believe what the Illusive Man was saying._

"_Shut up, you don't switch plans half way through the mission, that is how people die." Kat barked at both of them, again thinking of her drell family and a tear leaked out of the corner of her eye and down her cheek._

"_I've dedicated my life into understanding the Reapers and I know with certainty that the Crucible will allow me to control them." the Illusive Man assured her, trying to erase any doubts._

_Kat glared at him, trying to point her gun at him, but it wouldn't move. "And then what?"_

_The Illusive Man didn't answer for a second before he moved in between them again, just off to the side. "Look at the power they wield." As he spoke the feet started running across her eardrums again. "Look at what they can do." He raised his fist in front of him and it glowed blue. Kat felt her finger pull the trigger though her mind didn't issue the command. She watched the bullet as it flew through the empty space and lodged itself into Anderson's side. He jolted, but didn't fall, instead he hunched over and was gripping his side like Shepard had been doing just a little bit before._

"_They make you shoot your friend?" Kat snapped accusingly at him, more tears leaking from her eyes. "I'm sorry Anderson." she cried. She turned back on the Illusive man. "I see what they did to you, you are there creepy little husk puppet."_

"_I took what I wanted form them, made it my own. This isn't about me or you. This is about things so much bigger than all of us." he said and spread his arms wide as if carrying something too big to be carried._

"_He's wrong don't listen to him." Anderson said and shook his head. When Kat looked back at him he wasn't gripping his side anymore and it struck Shepard as odd. Maybe the Reapers were making him not? But when had Anderson even become indoctrinated?_

_The Illusive man stood beside Anderson, his hands out in front of him as he talked, gesturing with them. "Who are you going to listen to, Shepard? An old soldier stuck in his ways? Only able to see the world down the barrel of a gun? And what if he is wrong? What if controlling the Reapers is the answer?" he questioned._

"_If you are so fucking big and bad stop talking about it. Use the Crucible to end the war. Stop the Reapers." she ordered and her side throbbed in horrible pain._

"_Don't give me orders, I will execute my plan when and how I want to." he said, acting defensive._

_That also struck Shepard as odd. Come to think of it, why was the Illusive Man even talking to her as if her decision was the final answer to everything? They were both immobilized, why wasn't he just going along with his plan, save the human race he always said he was helping. As she thought her side grew more and more in pain until it pulled all of her attention. "You can't, can you." It wasn't a question. "They won't let you do it. You are already indoctrinated."_

"_No!" the Illusive Man shouted, pointing his finger at Shepard, but the real enemy was inside of his head, the evidence plastered across his wire patched skin. "No one is telling me what to do!"_

"_Listen to yourself." Anderson said, looking directly at Shepard. "You are… indoctrinated."_

'_I'm indoctrinated…' she thought to herself. 'I'm… indoctrinated…' She didn't know how it could be possible, but somehow she knew it was true, however frightening the truth was._

"_No." the Illusive Man barked, pulling her out of her thoughts and she couldn't remember what they had been about. "No! You two, so self-righteous. You think power like this comes easy? There are sacrifices."_

_That hit deep with Kat. She knew there was sacrifices, she knew that sometimes you had to give up everything. Your whole life. Taken away to a boot camp. Shoved into a metal box. What had she given up? What was left? She shook her head. "You sacrifice too much." she said, both to the Illusive Man and to herself. She thought of Thane, though, and knew that she'd give so much more, for him._

"_Shepard… I only wanted to protect humanity." the Illusive Man pleaded, desperate and running out of excuses. "The Crucible can control them… I know it can." he said as one final light of hope. "I just…"_

"_It's not too late." Kat said, seeing a chance to reason with him. "Let us go. We'll do the rest. You've down enough."_

"_I…" he said and rubbed his head. "I can't do that, Commander."_

_Anderson spoke up again. Shepard was surprised he was still able to after the bullet wound, but as she peered closer she couldn't see a blood stain on him. Was Anderson even in the charge? Why wasn't he injured at all? Or in Armor? "Of course you can't, they own him now." he said, switching the pronoun he used to refer to the Illusive Man. Well that was odd. English was Anderson's first language and Shepard knew he had good grammar, hadn't he gone to college for it once?_

"_You…" the Illusive Man said and walked behind Anderson and she heard a gun cock, but Anderson didn't have a gun on him, nor did the Illusive Man. The feet scurrying in her head hadn't messed with her vision so much that her years of training failed and she hadn't seen a gun when she came into the room. "You'd undo everything I've accomplished… I won't let that happen." he said and moved to the side so Shepard could see the standard pistol he had in his hand._

"_You're nothing more than a puppet, that is all you have for you accomplishments." Kat spat at him. The black feet ran across her vision, forming hands to reach up and block her view._

"_No." the Illusive Man said as Anderson got down onto his knees. As he did Kat noticed something, her hand didn't follow him, maybe she was gaining back a bit of control. "You're the puppet." He put the gun on Anderson, but before he could pull the trigger Kat did and shot the Illusive Man straight through the heart._

_Once he was dead she was able to move again and she limped over to the console, hit a few buttons, and got the arms to start opening. She leaned against the console, her whole body on fire._

"_There… earth… I wish you could see it the way I do, Shepard…" the Illusive man said on the floor and Kat wanted to bash his face in with her foot. Maybe she would of done so on a less sadden day. "It's… perfect…"_

_She shook her head and shuffled her way back to where Anderson had propped himself up against the little raised platform Kat couldn't remember if it was there before. She said down on his right side a little harder than she had meant to._

"_Commander." Anderson said and spared her a glance._

_She looked back. "We did it." she said and tried to pretend to be happy. She wasn't a fool, she was badly injured and up in the Citadel without knowing what firing this thing off would do it to it or when, if ever, there would be a rescue. By then she would probably be dead. She wouldn't get to see Thane again, or Kolyat, or Garrus, Tali, Joker, any of them. It wasn't till the end when she was finally able to sit down that she realized she wasn't happy with the life she had lived._

"_Yes." came Anderson's short reply and Kat looked back ahead, eyes closed in pain. "We did. It's quite a view." he said, as if he could sense that Shepard was drifting off and probably wouldn't wake up again._

"_Heh," Kat sucked in a painful breath and looked out through the window. "Yeah… best seats in the house."_

"_Fuck," Anderson said and made someone in Kat's head go off that it wasn't right "feels like years since I just… sat down."_

"_I think you earned a rest." Kat said, trying to push those thoughts away and just have one last talk with an old friend before they both bleed out. "Anderson?" she said when he didn't response. He gave a sleepy response. "Stay with me. We're almost through this." she said, finding reason to fight if it meant her friend got out of this alive._

_He looked over at her. "You did good, kid. You did good… I'm proud of you."_

_Kat shed a few tears. Anderson had become like a father to her over the years, something she never had had. To hear that he was proud made her chest hurt. "Thank you, sir." she croaked back, looking over at him to see his head leaned forward. "Anderson?" she asked worried. He was dead. She sighed and looked away._

_Something sticky was on her hand and she looked down to see it covered in blood, a lot of blood. She couldn't remember when she had been shot, but she was too tired to comb through the memories. "Sorry Thane… I love you." she said and let her head lean forward, losing the strength to hold it up._

"_Shepard Commander?" her com went off to Hackett's voice. Would she ever just get to stop fighting?_

"_Hey…" she said with what strength she had left. "What do you need me to do?" she asked and tried to pull herself to her feet, but they didn't want to work._

"_Nothing is happening." Hackett told her._

"_Hang on… let me see if I can do anything on my side." she said as she dragged herself to the console. "I don't see… I can't…" she threw up blood and collapsed on the floor in front of the terminal, unable to move any further. Would she finally get to die._

_She felt herself moving, but didn't have the energy to see where to. She mustered some energy and got to her hands and knees and looked out in front of her and the room she was in was simple a walkway that lead to a bright white beam. On each side where paths, the left path had blue light and lead to a bunch of power cords, the right side had red lights and let to what looked like a power supply. She focused on the walkway against as a ghost child stared walking towards her._

"_Wake up." the child said as it kneeled down in front of her._

"_Wha… Where am I?" she asked as she stood. Did she die? was this some weird heaven that she had somehow gotten placed in despite all her sins?_

"_The Citadel. This is my home." the child answered._

_She looked around again and the place still didn't look like the Citadel. "Who are you?" she asked instead._

"_I am the Catalyst." the child said and Kat could have sworn she heard her own voice echo back to hear. She had lost too much blood._

"_I thought the Citadel was the Catalyst." Shepard said confused._

"_No, the Citadel is part of me." the child corrected._

"_I need to stop the Reapers. Do you know how to do that?" she asked, practically pleaded._

"_Perhaps. I control the Reapers. They are my solution." the child said and started walking down the walkway. Kat's heart pumped fast as she followed. This child looked like the one that had died back on earth. But how could that be?_

"_Solution to what?" she asked as she limped behind him._

"_Chaos." he replied. "The created will always rebel against their creators. But we found a way to stop that from happening. A way to restore order."_

"_By wiping out organic life?" she asked, puzzled how that stopped a rebelling and killing._

_The child stopped and turned to her. "No. We harvest advanced civilizations. leaving the younger ones alone." he corrected as if he was scolding a kid._

_He turned back around and kept walking. "Just as we left our people alive the last time we were here."_

"_But you killed the rest." Kat pointed out and started limping after him again._

"_We help them ascend so they could make way for new life, storing the old life in Reaper form." he said and looked out into space at a Reaper giving a good side profile to them._

"_I think we'd rather keep our own form." she said, disgusted by the Reaper._

"_No, you can't." the child scolded. "Without us to stop it, synthetics would destroy all organics. We've created this cycle so that never happens. That's the solution."_

_Kat shook her head. "You said you're the catalyst… but what are you?"_

"_A construct. An intelligence designed eons ago to solve a problem." he explained. "I was created to bring balance. To be the catalyst for peace between organics and synthetics."_

"_So you're just an AI?" Kat said but made note that that wasn't the proper use for the word catalyst. Catalyst was something that quickened an effect, not destroyed to put it off, not a go between._

"_In as much as you are just an animal. I embody the collective intelligence of all Reapers." it said as if it was insulted._

"_But you were created…"_

"_Correct."_

"_By who?"_

"_By ones who recognized that conflict would arise between synthetics and organics. I was first created to oversee the relations between synthetic and organic life… to establish a connection. But our efforts always ended in conflict, so a new solution was required." he explained._

"_The Reapers?" she clarified._

"_Precisely."_

"_And did you create them?"_

"_My creators gave them form. I gave them function. They, in turn, give me purpose. They Reapers are a synthetic representation of my creators." he said and looked proudly at Shepard._

_She almost didn't want to ask. "And what happened to your creators?"_

"_They became the first true Reaper. They did not approve, but it was the only solution."_

"_You said that before, but how do the Reapers solve anything? They just come and kill everything like a swarm of locus… and try telling the farmers that it was for a solution." she said shaking her head._

"_Organics create synthetics to improve their own existence, but those improvements have limits. To exceed those limits synthetics have to be allowed to evolve. They must, by definition, surpass their creators. The result is conflict, destruction, chaos. It is inevitable. Reapers harvest all life—organic and synthetic—preserving them before they are forever lost to this conflict."_

"_We're at war with the Reapers right now, defending our right to live. We do not want to be preserved." Kat said and pointed to Earth beyond the windows._

"_You may be in conflict with the Reapers, but they are not interested in war." the child corrected._

"_Neither was Poland." Kat said. "But there were attacked and dragged into it, just like the Reapers are doing to us. Don't tell me they don't want war."_

"_When fire burns, is it at war? Is it in conflict? Or is it simply doing what it was created to do?" Shepard looked to the side as the ghost talked, seeing how hopeless trying to convince this thing was, but what choice did she have. "We are no different. We harvest your bodies, your knowledge, your creations. We preserve it to be reborn in the form of a new Reaper. Like a cleansing fire, we restore balance. New life, both organic and synthetic can one again flourish."_

_This child actually believed all of it, she wasn't going to change its mind. "What do you know about the Crucible?" Kat asked instead. There wasn't a way to just get the Reapers to leave._

"_The device you refer to as the Crucible is little more than a power source. However, in combinations with the Citadel and the relays, it is capable of releasing tremendous amounts of energy throughout the galaxy. I is crude, but effective and adaptive in its design." The child explained freely, surprising Shepard._

"_Who designed it?" she asked, needing to know how to get it to fire._

"_You would not know them, and there is not enough time to explain." the child said, putting a wall to the conversation. But if it was talking about time did that mean it was trying to stall her? "We first noted the concept of this device several cycles ago. With each passing cycle the design has no doubt evolved."_

_Kat's eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you stop it?"_

"_We had believed the concept had been eradicated." the child admitted. "Clearly organics are more resourceful than we realized."_

"_But you are taking away our future. Without a future, we have no hope. Without hope… we might as well be machines, programmed to do what we're told." she tried again to reason, thinking of her hope, of her family waiting for her._

"_You have hope." the child admitted, not looking at him. "More than you think. The fact that you are standing here, the first organic ever, proves it. But it also proves my solution won't work anymore."_

"_So now what?" Shepard asked._

"_We find a new solution." the child said and looked towards the beam._

_It was too easy. "Why are you telling me this? Why help me?" she asked._

"_You have altered the variables." he said as if it was simple._

_She shook her head, "What do you mean?"_

"_The Crucible changed me, created new… possibilities. But I can't make them happen. If there is to be a new solution, you must act. It is now in your power to destroy us." he said and motioned to the red side with the power cord. A vision flashed before her eyes, she could see Anderson going up to it and shooting it, becoming consumed in flames. "But be warned: others will be destroyed as well."_

"_You mean the geth?" Kat asked and the child nodded._

"_The Crucible will not discriminate. All synthetics will be targeted." Kat gritted her teeth, that meant EDI too. She couldn't do that to her friend. "Even you are partly synthetic." the child pointed out. She inwardly laugh, she didn't care about her own life nearly as much as she cared about doing the right thing for those she cared about._

"_What exactly will happen?"_

"_The Crucible will target all technology, but those who survive should have little difficulty repairing the damage." Kat could almost see it happen in her mind. "There will still be loses, but no more than what is already lost."_

"_No… I would lose a species, and a good friend." she corrected. "But the Reapers would be destroyed?"_

"_Yes, but the peace won't last." the child warned again. "Soon your children will create synthetics, and then the chaos will come back."_

"_There has to be another way…" Kat said, trying to make her brain work._

"_There is." the child said. "You could instead use the energy of the Crucible to seize control of the Reapers."_

_An image flashed into her mind of the Illusive man choosing this path. "So the Illusive Man was right after all…"_

"_Yes," the child was quick to answer. "But he could never have taken control, because we already controlled him."_

"_But I can."_

"_You will die. You will control us, but you will lose everything you have." Kat thought to lying in bed with Thane, his arms wrapped around her, his lips teasing her ear with kisses and claims of love. Of sitting in the shooting range with Garrus hanging out and having a good time as best friends. Of cleaning engines with Tali. Cracking jokes with Joker. Watching vids late in the night with EDI. Of all her friends. She'd lose them, be dead but still aware of everything. She had seen how lifeless Thane has been when she had found him and she just couldn't do that to him, not if she had to watch it happen. That option was out, she was just too selfish. So she cut the child off._

"_Is there any other option?" she asked._

"_Yes. Synthesis." the child said. "Add your energy to the Crucible's. The chain reaction will combine all synthetic and organic life into a new framework. A new DNA."_

"_And how does my 'energy' do that? And how do I add it to the Crucible?" Kat asked confused, but she had a feeling it was painful and had something to do with the beam of light._

"_Your organic energy, the essence of who and what you are, will be broken down, and then dispersed."_

"_To do what? Put a little piece of me everywhere in the galaxy?" Even now she couldn't help but rely on sarcasm to distract from a weight coming down on her chest._

"_The energy of the Crucible, released in this way, will alter the matrix of all organic life in the galaxy. Organics seek perfection through technology. Synthetics seek perfection through understanding. Organics will be perfected by integrating fully with synthetics technology. Synthetics, in turn, will finally have full understanding of organics. It is the ideal solution. now that we know it is possible, it is inevitable we will reach synthesis." the child pushed this option._

"_Why couldn't you do it sooner?" Kat asked, confused._

"_We have tried… a similar solution in the past." he admitted. "But it has always failed."_

"_Why?" Kat asked, knowing it was too good to be true._

"_Because the organics were not ready. It is not something that can be… forced." the child said and turned away from her. "You are ready and you may chose it."_

"_I… don't know…" she said, trying to poke holes in it._

"_Why not? Synthetics are already a part of you, can you imagine your life without them?" the child demanded and set Shepard on alert. This child was still the enemy. "With this path the cycle will end, the Reapers will cease their harvest, and the civilizations preserved in their forms will be connected to all of us. Synthesis is the final evolution of all life. The paths are open, but you have to choose."_

_She thought about it for a long time before she started up the path of choice. "You know… Reaper kid… I'm from the streets, I grew up knowing everything is not gumdrops and butterflies, if you wanted me to fall into indoctrination you shouldn't of made it sound so sweet… or hell I might of done it if Thane was still sick. I feel bad for the geth, horrible for EDI, but I know what I have to do." she said and started shooting the power source down the right red path. She was shocked that her gun still had bullets, but this whole thing was weird. It started to flame up and she could feel the heat on her face, but she just stood straighter and walked with ease towards it as she kept shooting. A few more shots and she felt the flames lick at her skin. Imagines of her friends danced across her mind. Joker tipped her hat to her when she got back from a mission and it made her eyes sting. Anderson, now dead, standing in his councilor uniform, she smiled a bit at how he always seemed more comfortable in army clothes. And so many others. She saved her last thoughts for Thane. Of how much she loved him and she started crying as the explosion consumed her. "Please know what I love you." she pleaded as she fell to the ground._

"The next thing I knew I was in the hospital with Garrus above me and doctors sawing my limbs off." she said and looked up to Thane. "You're the only one who let me get through telling it, everyone else cut me off saying I was crazy."

Thane kissed her forehead, then her cheek, then her neck. "I believe you." he said and hugged her as close as he could. He had seen better than most the changes in her and had known that she hadn't just been herself. She squirmed under his lips.

"Don't start if you want to leave here with your pants." she warned and he smiled against her skin, knowing that he had his siha back.

He picked her up and left the bathroom and set her back down on the hospital bed. A very angry Chakwas stood at the other side and he tried to back away to let her examine Kat, but she wouldn't let go of him and forced him to sit by her bedside.

The angry doctor hooked her back up to all her machines and told her to stay in bed or they were going to tie her down. Then left on a happier note of coming back with Kat's lunch.

Irikah climbed up onto the bed and laid down on Kat's chest. Kolyat sat on the other side of the bed and looked at the fleshy human that had wormed her way into their hearts. Kat looked over to Garrus and Tali who were sleeping together in the recliner and smiled at her family. Whatever the future would bring she knew that these guys would be there with her through it. If S.P.A.C.E. came for her, or if she was suddenly pregnant with ten drell/human babies, or any other weirdness that might be sprung upon them, these guys would have her back. She pulled Thane to lay down with them and cried into Irikah's hair. She loved all of them.

**A/N: See if I had wanted to bring the smut in at chapter 50 this and the last chapter would have had to of been combined and that would have been over 20 pages, my chapters are usually somewhere between eight and sixteen pages, this one is thirteen, people. Anyway, R&R and turn me onto some good smut fics as I've gotten too lazy to search for them, but that part in PMs, don't crowd my reviews with my new found collection of smut. And if it's anything you'd like to see Kat and Thane do I might. I already have it planned for them to do it in a closet later on in the story. Thinking about the kitchen table. Might work in one of my fantasies, but that reveals much, much later story plot so my lips are sealed, let's just say that Thane has to get a job sometime, right?**

**For any of you guys that use tumblr my user name is katshepard. Yes I am soo creative. Actually I am I just wanted it to be ME related. I am creative, I promise. For instance my Guild Wars 2 characters are things like Arista Emberose, Tacani Blackrose, Leandros Darkthorn, all dealing with roses to aid my guild in knowing that it is me. Also in my English class we were talking about characternim, you know when you make the name of someone mean something. And it brought my attention back to how much I use it in my story. Even Irikah has a bit. Irony is something that is not thought to be able to happen, like her. Her nickname is something close sounding to Irony, aka Irry.**


	50. Chapter 50

After a while Chakwas returned and made sure that the limbs were functioning correctly. "Tap your thumb to each finger." she ordered Kat and she went about the task, missing several times or going out of order. "That is fine. You will gain motor control over them after practice." Chakwas assured her and moved to the leg. "Wiggle your toes" Kat did as she asked "and flex your ankle." Again Kat did as she asked. "Everything seems to be working." the good doctor confirmed and gave Kat a free bill of health to leave the hospital, but also gave her orders to go to rehabilitation.

So now she sat in the back of the car again, squished in with Thane, and Garrus, and Tali, and Irry, and Kolyat. She pulled her jacket sleeve down over her robotic arm and curled up to Thane. It was a chilly day out and she had foolish not brought an overcoat. Thane wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer, despite that she naturally ran a higher temperature than he did. He had made note of the cold weather before and was reminded of it as he looked over at Kolyat who was starting to dose from it. "May I suggest we turn the heat up?" Thane asked politely.

Garrus glanced back at them, "Sure, I forget how easily you un-plated species get cold." he commented.

"Yet you are always the one who would complain if I dragged you on a cold planet." Kat said sourly.

"There is a difference between cold and freezing." Garrus corrected as he fiddled with the heat.

"Garrus!" Tali shouted and tensed as another car skidded right into them.

The car jerked and the one behind it slammed into the right rear tire in an attempt to avoid them. The force sent them spinning into the opposite flow of traffic where they were hit again and flipped up and finally landed upside down between the median and stopped traffic.

"Everyone okay?" Garrus asked as he pulled off his seatbelt and moved to kick out the driver's side door to give them a way out.

"I'm alright," Tali said as she fumbled with her seatbelt too.

"Just bruised." Kolyat replied and moved to kick out the back window for a second route out.

Thane looked over at Kat, who was leaned over in the seat and clutching Irikah to her. "Siha," he said worried.

"I'm fine… we're fine…" she said and pulled away to show a shaken, but unharmed, Irikah.

"Thank the gods." Thane said as he helped Kat undo their daughter's seatbelt. Once she was free they told her to crawl to Kolyat who was waiting to pull her out of the car. Thane helped Kat next, despite her protest. She dropped down and moved to help Tali, who couldn't get it undone.

"It's wet… I think… I may be injured." she said as Kat forced her new fingers to work and they finally for the seatbelt off. Kat started to ease her down, but Tali let out a cry and it wasn't hard to see why. A spring from the seat had punctured her side, the end of it coiling out her front.

"It's not too bad." she tried to assure her and with Thane's help they pulled the rest of the coil out and helped her out of the car, knowing that it wouldn't be wise to pull it out of the wound, at least until they could see it better. "Tali where is your heart?" Shepard asked and she held her hand over her right breast. "Is there anything important where the coil is?"

Tali looked down at it and shook her head. "I don't think so... my stomach maybe?"

"Well you're not vomiting blood or wheezing so it didn't puncture a lung or your stomach." Kat commented and jerked the coil out. Tali let out a painful cry and Kat apologized as she ripped of a piece of her shirt and pressed it against the wound.

"Is she okay?" Garrus asked frantic.

Kat pushed the hovering turian away. "She will be fine, it would have killed a human, but I'm pretty sure her intestines aren't over here, thankfully." she told him.

"This is my fault, I wasn't… I should have been watching the road better, not messing with the heat." Garrus said and moved to hold Tali.

"Everyone made it out alive, well but the car." Kat said and went to Irikah. She eagerly went into her mother's arms, still shaken up about what just happened.

Police were starting to arrive, along with paramedics. They tended to Tali's wound and the minor cuts and bruises the rest of them had. "You were lucky." one police officer said and Thane narrowed his eyes, trying to place where he had seen the cop before.

The memory of the police station flashed into his mind and he shuddered. This was one of the cops that had dragged the reporter in. He wanted to tell Kat, but how could he without drawing attention. He stood back while she told him what happened and he wrote it down in a report he was sure wouldn't be filed.

It took them several hours to get everything sorted out. Including filing the accident, getting a rental car, calling the insurance company, it was all just a pain. By the time they managed to make it to the rehab center they were over two hours late for their appointment. The woman was aggravated, but hid it well by showing off everything they had to offer.

Kat wondered off at one point, Irikah following at her heels.

"We will start her off with basic motor skills, teach her how to write again—"

Thane cut her off by accident. "She can write with both hands." he informed them and they all looked at him. "Well she is left handed, but there are bad connotations with that in the human culture so she learned how to write with her right hand." he explained.

The lady still seemed confused, but the rest of them understood. S.P.A.C.E. taught her how to write with her right hand to fit more into the norm.

"Right… Well, let me show you the exercise room." she said and led them down the hall. As they passed a room on the right music flowed out of the cracked door. Thane recognized the style to be what humans called dubstep, only a violin was played over it.

"What is that?" Garrus asked.

"Well that is our dance room, but I don't believe we had a track like that." the lady said confused and opened the door. Irikah was sitting beside a sound system that played the dubstep music and in the center of the room was Kat. She had a violin and playing skillfully on it as she swayed with the music, her eyes closed. Her robotic hand moved across the throat of the instrument and that is what the rehab worker was staring at. "I've never seen someone adjust so quickly to their prosthetic." she murmured.

Garrus' mandibles flared in a smile. "That is Shepard for you, one step better than everyone else and always willing to shove it in your face." he teased.

"Daddy!" Irikah called and Kat halted in her playing. She looked at them and her face flushed pink. "Isn't she good, daddy?" Irikah said as she hopped down from her chair and ran over to him. He picked his daughter up and looked back at Kat, who was holding the violin behind her back timidly, her face slowly getting a darker red.

"Where did you learn to play?" he asked her and she bowed her head.

"Well… in the gang… when I was a kid I was kinda everyone's… little girl… they all taught me different things and one of them loved music and had a violin and well… she taught me…" Kat said and kept shifting her weight back and forth. "I haven't played in years… decades though so I'm not very good."

"It sounded good," Kolyat piped up. "Do you play anything more upbeat."

"On a fiddle yes, but I don't want to abuse a violin. Fiddles are studier." she said and moved closer to them. "Do I have to come back here?" she asked Garrus.

He looked down at her and shook his head. "Why don't we buy the violin and you can get the hang of it on your own?" he suggested, which made the rehab worker fume.

"I have to advise against it. She needs proper rehabilitation, she could strain something, or go to slow." she said out raged.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," Kat said and started messing with the tune of the violin. "Garrus can you write her a check? I don't have my debit card on me."

"Left it in your other pants?" Garrus said, quoting an old human excuse.

"No, it's back at my apartment, when I left it I didn't think I'd be gone that long." she informed in.

"We should stop by there then and pick it up." he said as he pulled out his check book and started filling it out. "How much for the violin?"

"It's not for sale." the woman snapped, still protesting their idea to not stay in rehab. She seemed almost frantic about it actually.

"Judging by the make, model, and wear on it I'd say about two hundred… make it for two fifty to be safe." Kat told him and he nodded. "I also would like to pick up some other things from my apartment on the way home." Garrus nodded again and handed the woman the check followed by all of them leaving. Tali giggled at how the two had handled that.

"I'm going to have to get a case for it, and some polish, a few spare strings…" Kat muttered as they drove down in the rental car, a blue SUV, it had to be blue, Garrus wouldn't let it be another color.

Irikah looked at the instrument in fascination. "Can I learn how to play, mommy?" she asked, looking up at Kat hopefully.

"Maybe… I'd start you out on a child's one, or even a fiddle though." she said, never looking away from the instrument.

The woman was nearly in tears as she went into one of the back rooms where a blonde man in shades sat sipping tea. "Judging by your mood I don't think it went over as planned." he said and set the cup down.

"They wouldn't listen to me." she cried in defense. "I tried, but they just took a violin and left, saying they could do it on their own… I tried to get them to agree…" she begged as the man got up and walked towards the short portly woman. "I tried." she begged as he took out a needle from his pocket.

"If we all just tried nothing would get done, we have to succeed, which you failed to do." he said and took the cap off.

"No!" she cried and tried to run for it. She got half way down the hall before two more men in suits grabbed her by her arms. The one on the right held her arm out straight and she sobbed as the blonde man stuck the needle into her skin, pushing in the clear liquid. Then they let her go and she ran, but the men where no longer the threat, it was what was in her veins. She busted out into the streets and grabbed a couple as they walked by. "Help me!" she cried, her eyes wide and blood shot.

The couple backed away scared by the crazy woman in front of them. "Help me, please!" she cried to anyone that would listen. She grabbed the woman again and shook her please. "Help mm—" she couldn't get out the words as she clutched a hand to her heart. Her throat strained as her heart started to give up, starving her brain of oxygen. Half dead already, she stumbled into the streets in front of a semi. The truck honked at her and she looked up at the driver with teary eyes right before it slammed into her.

Kat flicked on the lights in her apartment and pulled out a trunk from under the bed. She opened the lid and pulled out the items she wanted to keep, the last being a diamond ring on a silver chain. She slipped in on her head and hid it in her shirt. Then she gathered the rest of the items up and shoved them into a book-bag she had used before as a way to carry groceries. Then she went to the door and looked over the apartment one last time. Damn how she hated this place. She shut off the light and closed the door, and also that chapter of her life. She was done with S.P.A.C.E.

Once they returned to the house Kat was reluctant to leave it again. She pushed herself as hard as they would allow her, hiding in the house the rest of the time. Whenever she could she would have her right arm covered so she couldn't see it and would commonly walk around with a sock over her right foot, leaving the other one bare. Thane left her be for a week, trying to let her adjust, before he got sick of not being able to hold her while they slept. She'd stay far on the edge of the bed and scoot even further if he tried to touch her. He sighed and dragged her back across the mattress against him, his lips on her neck and ear. "Siha," he purred and ran his hand down her bare right arm. Her choice in sleep wear was near sinful for a drell, a beater and a pair of boy shorts. It left her arms, and more importantly her wrists, and her long shapely legs fidgeting against his own… bless the gods that this woman was his.

"They are ugly, aren't they?" she muttered as he twined her metal fingers with his own.

"No," he said and kissed below her ear. "You can feel my hand in yours, correct?" he asked. The doctors had told them she could feel, but it all confused him on how.

She nodded, "It's more of… like a sense that it's… It's complicated to explain." she said and he raised the hand to his lips and kissed the inside of her wrist. She shuddered at the intimate gesture for drell.

"You will always be my beautiful siha." he purred against her skin and she turned to face him, her eyes full of doubt. He pulled her body against his and kissed her. She closed her eyes and a tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. He licked it up with the tip of his tongue and then continued to shower her skin is kisses.

"I'm tired of fighting," she said as his lips went down to her neck. She arched her head back to allow him to continue his actions easier. "I've been at deaths door, even past it, so many times and I keep being brought back. To fight," she paused as his hands slid down to her ass and pulled her up against him. The sweat pants he was sleeping in did nothing to hide his needs and she took a moment to cling to him. "Can't we just… be together? Can't we just forget about all the fighting?" she pleaded, but she knew the answer so he didn't give it. Even if they tried to leave this behind, take their children and go off somewhere to start a life, no matter how far away, S.P.A.C.E. would find them and wouldn't stop until they were sure Kat wouldn't talk, wouldn't tell others what happened to her and by who. "I just want to stop fighting…" she muttered as he moved back to her lips to kiss her.

He rolled on top of her, putting his weight on his arms on either side of her. Her left leg hitched up behind him, pulling him closer. His blood began to quicken. His pushed his lower half down against her, but it didn't help, he couldn't get close enough to her.

She ran her hands down his sculpted chest, looking down at the contract of her skin on his, and then she noticed her metal one once more and jerked her hands away. He frowned down at her and took her right hand in his and pressed the metal against the tender red flesh of his cheek. "Siha," he breathed and kissed away tears that leaked out of her eyes.

There were no words past that. None where needed as they shifted against each other in familiar ways. She arched against him as he nipped at her neck, gripped her hips and pulled her closer. They knew this dance well, knew the steps to make the other gasp, to grip at the sheets, to bit their lip to avoid crying out.

After they lay tangled together, Kat sleeping soundly against him. She didn't twitch, didn't cringe, her eyes laid still behind her eyelids. It was the first time he had seen her so peaceful in a long time. He smiled at the sight and ran his fingers through her hair. Something cold and metallic pressed against his skin and he looked down to see the necklace with the ring around it. The sight sucked him back into the memory of when he purposed to her. He had figured that the ring hadn't made it through the battle, though it was dented and that explained why she wore it around her neck. He ran his thumb over the trinket and yawned as sleep started to over take him.

IgS

As the days past full of cartoons and surrounded by family. Irry hadn't ever been happier, even if she didn't understand some of the things. Mommy played the violin a lot, the pieces getting more and more complicated as time passed. She also practice fought with Daddy and Uncle Garrus a lot. She also started messing with Uncle Garrus' guns.

She glanced back at her mother who was curled up on the couch. "Irry, go get dressed, we're going out to get you your Easter dress." Tali said and turned off the TV.

Irry whined, but climbed on Uz's back and he got up with a stretch and trotted off upstairs.

"You celebrate Easter?" Kat asked from the couch.

Tali picked up a few toys Irry had left lying around. "It's hard not to get sucked into human holidays, they are hopeful." she said and looked up at her friend's attire of a baggy t-shirt and torn sleeping pants. "You should get dressed too."

Kat tensed. "You mean go out there?" she said and pointed out the window behind her.

"The Shepard I know isn't scared." Tali commented and crossed her arms.

Kat almost snorted, "The Shepard you knew didn't have one of the biggest human conspiracy theories ever to exist trying to cut out her tongue." she said and stood up. "I just… you guys will be safer without me there… I'll stay here and watch the house." she said and rubbed her arm. She went upstairs to take a shower and by the time she got out they had already left. She searched the house until she found Thane meditating on the front porch, sitting cross-legged on the floor. She strutted over to him in her loose cloth shorts and matching lazy top. She plopped down in his lap, her legs straddling his, and curled up against him.

He moved his arms around her before he was fully back in the present. "Something wrong, my siha?" he purred against her ear.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes, tears glazing her eyes as she ran her human hand over his features. "I missed you," she said breathlessly and they shared a kiss. Then another. There wasn't that normal burning passion, just sweet, blissful love.

And they just sat there, grinning at each other like idiots, each just marveling at the fact that they had done it. He wasn't dying from Keplar, she wasn't being taken over by the Reapers. Finally there was a moment to sit and just marvel in the fact that they had done it and were still intact on the other side, together. It almost seemed too good to be true. And then the shot came. Thane heard it just in time to move her out of the way, the bullet clipping her hair as it whirled in between them. She twisted in his lap and spun onto her feet. He flipped onto his feet behind her and they stood back to back, looking for the threat.

"It's them." Thane said and Kat nodded.

"Race you to the weapons?" she said and they both darted inside.

Kat traded her lazy clothes for heavy bullet proof gear, strapping and clicking everything into the right place. It wasn't high-tech like her old armor. But as she pulled the helmet into place she thought 'It'll block the bullets long enough to put three in each of their heads. One, to kill them.' She clipped the round into her pistol and then picked up her assault rifle. 'Two, to make sure they are dead.' She slammed the clip into place and moved to her sniper rifle. 'Three, to even kill the soul.' She clip went into place and she turned to Thane, who nodded and they moved out.

WoFc

Irry squealed at all the pretty dresses she got to try on, finally finding "the best and most perfect one" according to her. While Tali was in line paying for it she slipped off to a colorful shop. She looked up at the sign and slowly sounded out the words. "Bu…Build a B… Bear." she said and ran inside. She went to stand next to another kid about her age by the bins of bears. The kid was grinning just like her, but when they looked at each other the child screamed and ran over to his mother.

"Mommy! It's a giant toad!" he screeched and the mother sighed and turned to what, or rather who he was pointing at and she let out a cry of surprise.

Everything started surrounding her, pointing and whispering, trying to decide just _what_ she was.

"Well aren't you all just a bunch of pink, squishy, rude ingrates." she heard a familiar raspy voice behind her and she was lifted up into her brother's arms.

"So it is yours?" one woman said.

"She is my sister, and the daughter to the great Commander Shepard, the woman you all owe your lifes too, learn to show some respect." he spat at them and left with Irry clutched in his arms.

The crowd was left speechless. "Mommy, who is Commander Shepard?" one of the kids asked and Kolyat had to grit his teeth not to be outraged. No one cared what she gave up for them.

"Thank you Kohl." Irry said in his grip and he rubbed her back.

"What are siblings for?" he muttered as he found Tali and Garrus and they started back home.

WtN

"What the hell…" Kolyat said as they stopped at the end of the driveway. In front of them was a smoking pile of ash where the house was supposed to be.

"Garrus…" Tali breathed as the turian put the car in drive and sped down the drive.

Nothing was left. They tried to pick through the remains, but only ash was left. "Dad." Kolyat called out, his voice breaking. "Kat."

"Where are they?" Irry asked all teary eyed. Kolyat just looked down at her, lost for words. How do you tell someone their parents were just… gone. He was reminded of when he was little and they tried to explain to him that no one knew where Thane was or if he was coming back. They couldn't put it into words that would let the news fully sink in. He looked out over the destroyed house and then back down at Irry, mouth open and unable to answer her.

**A/N: I am so sorry that it has been so long. I am working a lot and have a lot of other things on my plate. But I finished the chapter!**

**Also let me just say that I am making a new Mass Effect fanfic that deals with sister Shepards. The older one is made from the same skeleton as Kat (I create skeletons for my characters that basically define how they react to situations and then fill in the backgrounds that determine just who they are, it allows me to create a wide variety of characters quickly. My rp partners love it because I actually will build characters around exactly what they want.) But Vi (older sister) has a different background so she is like Kat, but completely different. Anyway, she is with Thane, and the younger sister, Tori, is with Garrus, so if anyone is interested keep an eye out for a fic called "The Shepards of Your Salvation."**


	51. Chapter 51

Garrus found himself searching through rubble for his best friend for the third time in his life, and it was three times too many. The first time was when she had lost her first child, the second was after the Reapers, and now right after they were getting Shepard back to herself she was gone again. He had hoped to have his friend back, he missed their late nights on the Normandy drinking together, stumbling about the ship as they tried to make it back to their quarters, having the crew find them asleep on the mess hall's table, completely hung over. But those days where gone, and here he was shifting through the burnt remains of his house, looking for the body of his best friend.

"Don't worry Garrus, she has survived worse than this." Tali assured him and put a hand on her shoulder. "The humans have a saying, 'A cat has nine lifes.' Wrong kind of cat, but it still appears to hold true."

Garrus sighed as he lifted a fallen wall and pushed it out of the way. "How many lifes can she have left at this point?" he said, not cheered up by her sense of humor. "I'm sorry, love, I'm just worried." he said and put a hand on her waist.

"I know, I am too." she said and they continued searching.

Kolyat watched them from a distance, searching through what remained of the kitchen area, Irikah clinging to his leg with each step. "Where are they?" she asked, looking at the burnt table she had eaten at for most of her life.

"I don't know, but we will find them." he promised her and moved over to the sideways table, his fingers running along several strange round indents. "Bullet holes…" he muttered and looked back over to the other two. "Garrus, Tali, I think I found something." he called and they ran over. "Bullet holes, right? So they much been fighting someone?" he asked Garrus. The turian had more experience with this sort of thing, being with C-sec for so long.

Garrus knelt down in front of the table and rubbed a talon over the marks. "These are from an assault rifle." he said and moved to the other side of the table and brushed his fingers against a few drops of red. It flaked off onto his talon and he lifted it to his nose. "Human blood... not enough to be a serious injury." he assured the two drell. He stood up and looked more at the scene. "It looks like they were pushed back by the stairs." he said, pointing out more bullet holes along the railing. He lifted a slab of drywall away from the door that led to the basement and with Kolyat's help they got the jammed door open.

"You think they went into the bunker?" Tali asked, looking down the dark steps.

"It's what I would do; the bunker isn't on any blueprints so the attackers wouldn't know it was here." Garrus said and slowly started down the steps, his pistol at the ready.

He reached the bottom of the stairs when a shot rippled his shields. "Easy, it's me." he said, his eyes adjusting to see Shepard and Thane against the back wall.

"Only concessive rounds, if I wanted to do more than take your shields down I would have." she said and he rolled his eyes.

"I know I am amazing, but you don't have to quote me." he said and helped her on her feet, taking note to how much she leaned against him.

"Well, do you think the amazing Archangel can carry me out? They shot my new foot." she said and accepted when she was lifted bridal style.

"I can carry you if you need, Siha." Thane said beside her, his left hand clutching his right shoulder.

"Shut up, you're hurt." she said and twisted so she could give his forehead a kiss.

"Nothing serious," he said but accepted Kolyat's help who had come down shortly after Garrus. They all went up the stairs to the remains of the house, Uz following at their heels.

"We found them, everyone is alright." Garrus said as Tali swooned to them, using her omni-tool to scan them for injuries.

Irikah wormed past her and flung herself into Kat's arms. "Mommy," she cried, clinging to her.

She hugged her daughter back and watched Tali over the girl's head. Tali rolled up Kat's pants leg to reveal her mechanical leg. The toes twitched of their own accord when she reached her fingers inside and pulled out the bullet. "It doesn't look too damaged," Tali said, setting to work giving the wiring a patch job.

Kolyat saw to his father, helping him slide the jacket off his hurt shoulder and looked for an exit wound. "No good… the bullet is still inside." he said and pulled out his pocket knife. Thane took a deep breath and let his eyes glaze over. Once Kolyat was sure he was deep in a memory he stuck the knife in, using it to pry the bullet out. It clattered to the wooden floor just as Garrus handed him a first aid kit.

"Always keep it under the sink, Irikah stays after her mother in the tending to get hurt department." he said and helped Kolyat wrap up Thane's shoulder.

Once Thane was patched up Kat pushed Tali away and got to her feet. "Do you see now?" she said, getting in Garrus' face. "What these people are capable of? The lengths they will go to?" She was shaking, her arms trembling around Irikah wrapped up tight in her arms. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she refused to shed them. "Do you see now why I did what I did? It appeased them, it kept them away from you." she was nearly shouting now. "Irikah could have grown up in a home, had something of a family, so long as I stayed out of the way."

"She deserves her mother, you, the real you!" Garrus snapped back.

"The real me? The real me is a murder and a whore." she barked.

Garrus hit her, not hard enough to actually injure her, but she would have a bruise and it was enough to turn her head. "The real you is a brave, selfless, stubborn woman who refuses to see that she has so many people willing to come to her aid, to help her." he growled. "Now you know these people, you know how they think, we can fight them." Kat still hadn't looked back at him, her head still turned, eyes down casted. "So… what do we do, Shepard." he said, making her look up at him.

"You know what I am, you won't follow me anymore." she said quietly.

"Yes we will, we all will." Tali said from behind her, causing Shepard to turn and look at her. "We will take what they did to you and use it against them, reveal what they really are, those bosh'tets."

"Siha," Thane said, back on his feet and watching her.

"Let us help you." Garrus said firmly.

Shepard smiled, "Alright… Let's get packed, we leave in five." she said, handing Irikah to Kolyat and went into the bunker with Garrus and Thane to get the artillery packed up.

"We'll take two cars, Thane, me, and Kolyat in one car, Garrus, Tali, and Irikah in the other." she said as they packed. "They'll be monitoring any communications, it won't take them long to figure out their bomb failed." She stripped a sniper down to its parts and back again, thankful for the familiar act to keep her calm. "I know where we can go… for now at least." She slid her bag of guns over her shoulder and the boys followed suit.

"How am I supposed to know where to go if you won't tell me?" Garrus asked.

"Same code we used to get around Cerberus, S.P.A.C.E. will know of it, but they wouldn't have been able to crack it, not yet anyways." she said simply and Garrus nodded.

They loaded up the cars and Kat gave Irikah a tight hug. "Why can't I go with you?" she whined.

"You will see me again when we stop, till then be good." she said instead of answering. She handed her to Tali, who strapped her in the back, and went to her own car.

"Why aren't we taking Irikah with us?" Thane asked.

Kat started the car and started down the driveway. "Because if they go after us they will go after the car with me in it." she said simply and turned onto the main road.

"Shouldn't Kolyat be with them too then?" Thane asked, glancing at his son in the rearview mirror.

Kolyat crossed his arms and glared at Thane from the backseat. "I can handle myself." he grunted.

"Your father is right, and you would be if it didn't make it too tempting of a target, you are safer with us." she said and sped up, heading towards the interstate.

"Should I bother asking where we are going?" Thane asked.

Kat let out a breath of air through her nose. "Well mom always did want to meet you…" she said and explained when she saw Thane's confused look. "My mom is really… technology challenged, most wouldn't even call her terminal functional, and my step-dad is even worse, living close to off the grid like that is a good place to bunker down, at least until we can think of a better plan."

"Makes sense," Kolyat piped up. "No communications for them to hack into and spy on us."

Thane nodded his agreement, but inside he was slightly worried about meeting them, remembering her mother's original reaction to finding out that he wasn't human.

Driving with two drell was boring, they both just sat their quietly, off in their own little world of memories. She sighed and picked up her phone as the sun started to set. She called Garrus "Hey, it's getting late." She said as she switched lanes, sliding past another person. Behind her Garrus did the same in his car, keeping close. "Was thinking the same thing, see you there." she said, responding to what he said on the phone before hanging up.

"You're tense." Thane pointed out, taking in her body language.

She glanced over at him and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I'm always tense." she said as she settled back into her seat, setting her eyes back to the road.

"Not always." Thane said, taking her artificial hand in his.

She gave him another glance and sighed, "They haven't tried to stop us at all yet, just seems too easy." she confined in him. She looked at Kolyat, fast asleep in the back seat. "I don't know if it should put me on edge or be relieved…" She gripped Thane's hand tight. "I never meant to drag all of you into this…"

Thane watched her, reading the emotions behind the mask she wore. "So you planned on staying in that state? Making our daughter grow up without you?" he asked.

"She was safe," Kat snapped at him, an apologetic look crossed her face and she looked away from him. "Besides I'm just a whore from the streets, I wouldn't make a good mother."

"You were that, it is not who you are now." he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. "Just like you were their puppet before and now you're not." he looked up from her hand and to her face. "Siha, you need to let go of your rage and fear and let us help you, you know we aren't going away."

"I've been trying," she barked at him, trying to keep her eyes on the road, but couldn't stop herself from glancing at him every few seconds. "I've been trying ever since the collectors, that's the whole reason I turned myself in, that's the whole reason most of the crew would see me go from nice to bitch." she scoffed. "Yes I know how they saw me; cold, heartless, probably thought I was just faking the kindness… And at first I was, hell talking to you started out as just going through the motions like they taught me…" she gave a slight smile. "And then you called me your Siha… It took a strange drell with his own baggage to see past all of it and saw how much pain I was in."

Thane was quiet, and instead of talking he leaned forward and laid a tender kiss on the tense muscles in her neck.

"I'm still trying…" she said quietly. "It's hard, but I am trying to get past… well my past." She pulled off the next exit and they traveled through the small town in silence, Garrus close at their tail. She took them through the town and into the outskirts, finally pulling off when they came across a rundown building.

Garrus pulled off behind them and they all exited the car. "Not my first choice." he said, looking at the rotting building.

"Kind of the point." Kat muttered as she popped her trunk and pulled up the fake bottom to where her guns were. "What do you think? Snipers and pistols? Assault rifles won't do much in close quarters and shotguns may do too much."

"Tali is already grabbing the same thing." he said and they shared a slight smirk at how their minds were similar.

Tali came up to them; a bag of guns slung over one shoulder, Irikah fast asleep on the other. Kat glanced their way, before turning back to her pistol. She disassembled it and reassembled it quickly; going to do it again, but Thane rested his hand on hers. It was something she did when she was nervous, Thane knew it, and he wasn't going to let her off that easy. She swallowed and slid the gun in the back of her pants. With a deep breath, she turned around, arms up to take Irikah. Tali smiled and allowed her to take her child. "L-let's get inside." she said, not looking to see if they followed her through the crooked door.

Uz was the first to join her, followed by Tali and Kolyat. "Garrus and Thane are hiding the cars." Tali said, noticing Kat's eyes watching the door.

Once everyone was inside Kat set Irikah down in an overstuffed chair they had covered with a sleeping bag. Without her daughter tying her arms up she went to pacing around the room. "Kat, sit down, some of us are trying to sleep." Garrus said from the sofa when her trips past him hit double digits.

She glared at him, and went to say something, but Thane cut her off. "Siha, why don't you play?" he asked and pulled her violin out of one of their bags.

"You brought that?" she asked, taking the instrument from him, running her fingers over the strings.

Thane nodded, "I thought you might need something to keep yourself busy." he said as he handed her the bow.

"Going to play me a lullaby, Shepard?" Garrus chuckled from the couch.

"Shut up and sleep, you overgrown lizard." she muttered, but she was smiling, if only just a hint.

Garrus put a hand over his chest. "Ouch, that hurts." he pouted.

She rolled her eyes and started to play, just a low slow tune, it was relaxing. She didn't know how long she played, but eventually she ran out of songs she knew and had to stop, too tired to compose things on her own. Only Kolyat was awake, keeping watch at one of the windows, a sniper in his lap. When she stopped he looked at her. "Finally going to get some sleep?" he asked.

"Sleep? What time is it?" she asked, blinking in confusion.

He checked his omni-tool, "Nearly five in the morning." he said, yawning himself, he had been on guard shift for about two hours.

"Five? Shit we need to start packing up." she said and shook Garrus from his spot by the couch, having given it up for Tali. "Come on, we need to start packing up and getting ready to move." she said when he gave a sleepy grunt.

Kolyat sighed through his nose and helped her wake everyone up. Once awake they moved quickly to pack, following Kat's lead about needing to move.

She tossed the bags in the trunk and headed for the driver's seat, but Kolyat snagged the keys out of her hand. "You aren't driving, you're dead on your feet." he said, jumping out of her range when he noticed she had balled her hand into a fist.

"Did you not sleep well, Siha?" Thane asked, putting a calming hand on her shoulder. Kolyat wondered how he could approach her, even when she was mad, without fear of her.

"She didn't sleep at all." Kolyat corrected, earning a glare from Shepard.

Thane sighed, "Kat, get in the back, I will drive." he said, holding his hand out for the key.

"I'm fine," Kat said, reaching to snag the key when Kolyat gave it to Thane, but he pushed her and pinned her to the car.

"No, you're not." he said, giving her that look that she knew meant he saw through her façade.

She snapped out of her trance and realized all at once that her mouth was open like an idiot without any defense. Training kicked in and she diverted the subject with humor. "You know, in a different situation this would kinda be hot." she said, giving him a naughty grin.

He chuckled and leaned in, giving her a kiss. She immediately took advantage of it, deepening the kiss and pulling him close. Somewhere behind them Kolyat told them to stop snogging face and after a second she realized he had gotten in the passenger's seat. She ignored him and ran her hands down Thane's muscular arms, she always loved how built he was. Her arms went down to his wrists and she slowly slipped them down to slide the keys out of his hand, but he curled his fingers tighter, stopping her from being able to take them.

"Nice try," he said against her lips and pulled back. "Now get in the back and get some sleep." he said as he opened the door.

"Fine…" she caved and slid into the backseat. "Head towards North Carolina." she instructed and laid down, her arm going over her eyes, the other resting on her stomach. "Wake me up if anything happens, and I mean anything."

"Of course, Siha." Thane said as he slid into the driver's seat and started the car.

**A/N: So it's a short chapter, but at least I'm back. I apologize for the break, I had to get a lot of personal shit in order that was making it hard to slip into Kat's slightly unpleasant mindset difficult. Thank all of you so much for sticking with me. Oh and if anyone wants something else to read, go check out my story "Contact" it is of my paragon, and yes Kat is my renegade.**

**I also tried to explain her actions a bit better in this chapter about what she had gone through and why she is such a bitch.**

**Please review and let me know this story still has a pulse!**


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